A/N: Hello! This chapter is going to be just a little different, but those of you who have kids will definitely understand some of what Bella is going through.

I have to say, because this helps you all understand why I lock myself in my room to write, Leah's character in this story…well, I have one exactly like her. After this chapter I think you'll understand…

Thanks again to my fantabulous betas, torisurfergirl and starpower31!

More at the bottom…

Chapter 9 – Overthinking

"We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It's a death trap."

Anthony Hopkins

Bella

"Mom! JJ is doing it again!" I heard Leah shout from the living room.

Sighing, I left breakfast sitting on the counter and walked into the living room. "He's poking me again!"

"JJ, please don't upset your sister. Just leave her alone," I said, sighing again. "Honestly, when are you two going to start being nice to each other? Is it necessary to fight all the time?"

"JJ started it!" Leah shouted, throwing her stuffed bunny at him. JJ picked it up and threw it back at her, accidentally hitting the lamp that stood next to the couch. I watched, unable to move, as it fell to the floor and crashed.

"Mom, I'm sorry!" JJ started apologizing. "I didn't mean to break it!"

"Ha-ha, you are in trouble now!" Leah folded her arms across her chest and stuck her tongue out at JJ. Emily, who had been sitting on the floor watching TV, and pointedly ignoring her siblings, laughed.

"Okay, first of all, both of you are in trouble. Leah, you know better than to throw things in the house! And, JJ, regardless of what Leah does, that doesn't mean you should throw things back at her. Both of you, go finish getting ready for school while I pick this up."

"But, mom…" Leah began, pouting.

"Just do it, Leah!" I shouted, walking into the kitchen to get the broom and dustpan. When I got back into the living room, JJ and Leah were both gone. Emily was sitting quietly still and watching TV. I sighed and thanked the universe that I had one calm child. She was only three-years-old now and had apparently skipped the terrible twos. She ate her food without complaint and obeyed me better than the older two did.

Once I was done cleaning up the broken lamp and had written myself a note to stop at Wal-Mart later to buy a new one, I walked back into the kitchen to finish breakfast. I dished up the three plates and called the children to come and eat.

Leah and JJ came walking into the kitchen with sour looks on their faces while Emily bounced in and smiled at me. All three sat down and started eating their food and I sank back into the kitchen counter, continuing to drink my coffee. Before too long, they were done and it was time to get them all to school.

JJ was in fifth grade this year, his last year of elementary school, and he was excelling so far. Other than being slightly antisocial, his teachers didn't have anything bad to say about him. He was getting good grades, making incredible progress with the violin and loved to read just as much as I did.

Leah, on the other hand, was more trouble. Almost daily she came home with a note from her first grade teacher explaining about her attitude problems at school. Her grades were excellent, but the behavior left much to be desired.

Emily was in preschool and was moving at a slower pace. Her teachers worried that she wouldn't be ready for kindergarten and that I may have to keep her in preschool for an extra year. She wasn't due to start for another year and a half, but she still acted more like a baby than a toddler. She wasn't stupid by any means, but she was just slower at learning things. She had been like that before Jake's death, so I figured it didn't have anything to do with that.

Each child posed a different problem, and I found myself worried that I wasn't doing a good job as a single mother. JJ couldn't make friends, Leah's behavior was causing problems in school, and Emily was behind scholastically. What was I doing wrong?

As I drove to work after dropping the kids off, I started thinking about Edward. He and I had been in constant contact since his visit last December; lots of emails, texts and phone calls had been exchanged over the last three months. He was just as wonderful as I remembered; getting to know him again was a true joy.

But, after this morning's problems with the kids, I found myself wondering what kind of parent he would be…assuming, of course, that we did get back together. Then, of course, there was the problem of living in different cities. I hated to uproot the kids again, since we hadn't lived in Reno for that long. But could I ask Edward to move away from his life, his friends and family just to be with me?

It was the end of March already, and he and I hadn't discussed any of this yet. Maybe it was too soon, and maybe I was worried about something stupid, but it was still on my mind. I mentally tried to calm myself down and just think about the present. No use in worrying about something that wouldn't be an issue for another nine months.

Work had been rather boring, and I was staring at my computer screen contemplating lunch, when my cell phone rang. Seeing Edward's face on my caller ID made my heart skip a beat.

"Good morning, Edward," I said, calmly, into the phone.

"Morning, beautiful. How are you today?" he asked with a gentle ease to his voice.

"Ugh, it's been some morning already." I quickly explained the fight between Leah and JJ. To my surprise, I could hear him chuckle.

"Siblings do that, I'm told. How old are they again?"

"JJ is almost eleven…his birthday is next month. Leah just turned seven, and Emily is three and a half."

"Just wait, beautiful. I hear that the teenage years are the worst."

I groaned. "Don't remind me. That's closer than I'd like to believe at this point."

He laughed again. "Other than the kids driving you crazy, what else is going on?"

Without hesitation, I dove into the school problems each child was having. Even though Edward didn't have any kids, he was surprisingly full of advice for me. He listened carefully to each issue and had what sounded like a textbook answer to all of them.

"Jake has been gone a little over a year now. Did you ever think about counseling for them? At least the older two?" Edward asked.

Surprise shook through me. Once, right after he died, I had thought about counseling for JJ, at least, if not Leah. But, I never did anything after that. "Yes, once, but I guess I sort of forgot about it. Do you think I should look into it?"

"It might help. You said Jake was a stay-at-home dad, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then, he spent a lot of time with them. There have been a lot of changes in their lives in the last year, that has to take its toll on someone so young. It's difficult for adults, too."

Sighing, I played with the phone cord on my desk. "You might be right. Dammit…I thought I was doing so well, but what a horrible person I am for not putting them in therapy a year ago."

"No, beautiful, you aren't a horrible person. You have been dealing with the loss as well, and it's not your fault you didn't think about it."

"But, I did! I thought about it at Jake's funeral, but then I forgot about it afterwards."

"That doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you human, and that's okay. Do you want me to look into some child therapists in Reno?"

"Would you mind? My days are so crazy, I'm afraid I'll forget again. My friend Rose is a child therapist, but she thinks it wouldn't be healthy for the kids to go see her. She says they need to go to someone who is neutral…she and her husband were close to Jake, as well as the kids."

"I understand. I would be happy to look for you. If I can't find someone, maybe you could ask Rose for a referral?"

My phone beeped, indicating I was getting another call. "Edward, I have to go, I have another call coming in. I'll talk to you later and…thanks for calling."

"Anytime, beautiful. I'll talk to you later."

We hung up, and I switched over to my other call.

"This is a message from Washoe County School District to inform you that your child Leah Black is absent. If their absence is excused, please call your school as soon as possible, otherwise this will be marked down as an unexcused absence…"

The message continued but I wasn't listening. Leah wasn't at school…but I had dropped her and JJ both off after I took Emily to preschool.

Oh my God!I

A/N: Okay, okay, okay…if you have read my previous story, you know that my writing tends to have cliffies. Sorry! Will update next week I promise.

As we continue in the next chapter with Leah, I want to start off by saying I did not write a tragedy…I promise. This storyline is based on something that my "Leah" did in real life.