[A/N] Jay1393: ah thank you very much! it was a great help and i'm glad i was some sort of influence :) as for my tumblr link, i recently changed my url so.. eheheh... it's all fixed now, so you're more than welcome to check it out! :D

I felt trapped in a surreal like dream.

I was floating down under the ocean, bubbles dancing beside my head floating upwards as I sink down.

I wasn't drowning, I was just drifting. The more I went down the darker it got.

The light started to disappear from me and I slowly started to panic.

I hate the darkness.

I used to cry in the middle of the night and crawl to my mom's bed, sobbing as I clenched onto my nightshirt thinking the 'boogeyman' or whatever was going to come and kidnap me. She'd comfort me, and hum to me as she made room for me to sleep beside her.

A slight giggle escaped from my lips. My family, how I miss them so much.

I need to escape this trance and get back to reality.

They need me, Nick, Rochelle, Coach, Ell-

ELLIS.

I felt a pair of hands all of a sudden just wrap around my neck and strangle me.

The panic rose from my chest and I struggled to breath. I trashed and tried to swim but I couldn't get away.

This was a nightmare

Please wake up

Please wake up

Please wake up

Please wake up

Please wake-

My eyes snapped open to harsh lights and I nearly choked on my own breath from inhaling too quick. I rolled over from the cot I was in and landed roughly onto the wooden floor, making me wheeze and curl into a fetal position on the floor. A door swung open and I felt a pair of hands trying to hoist me up back onto the tiny bed.

"Dammit Cal! We just got you all wrapped up and you're gonna hurt yourself doing all that shit!" I turned to face Ro who had tiny bandages on her nose and cheek and wrappings around her arm.

"What happened to you" I hoarsely whispered. She smiled softly and ran her fingers along the wrapping.

"Oh, just tiny scratches hon, nothing much. Nothing compared to you." I tilted my head confused.

"You mean you don't see the wrappings all over you? You look like a mummy to me!" We both laughed, and then settled back into silence. I scratched at my wrappings and noticed how banged up I really was.

My jaw hurt so much, my cheek stung

My ribs felt like broken branched poking me in my lungs.

"Hey Ro... How's Ellis...?" I mumbled. She turned towards me and smiled.

"Why don'tcha say hi to him. He's awake and doing good."

I limped my way to check on Ellis.

God was I nervous or what. Just awhile ago I went into the bathroom to check on myself and holy shit did I look like someone's punching bag. I think I probably chipped a tooth, probably from that fall I took when I got onto the boat. God did it give me such a head ache. I really hope i'm not bothering Ellis...

Maybe he's too tired and doesn't wanna deal with me...

Or maybe he's still feeling unwell and doesn't wanna see anyone at all. Oh god oh god oh god...

Summoning all the courage I had, I slightly knocked on his door.

A muffled 'c'mon on' made me stiff.

The door creaked and there he was sitting up on the tiny cot reading something. My hands began shaking and I couldn't tell if it was because I was nervous or the pain in my chest was killing me.

He didn't notice me at first, probably thought I was someone bringing him food or something.

Tears stung my, he had his arm wrapped up and a sling. Probably broken or something.

There were wrappings around his chest going over his shoulder, and his nose was slightly red and purple, bruised.

I held back a sob as I walked closer to him, every step I took made me lose my calm and cool facade.

He looked up and smiled at me, staring at me with those bright blue eyes that just made me lose everything.

"Cal what's wrong?" He got up and cupped my face, I couldn't face him, I was too embarrassed to even be in the same room as him.

"I'm so sorry. I should've kept an eye on you... You were hurt.. Almost killed. I'm so sorry.. I'm so sorry." I gripped tightly onto his arm, nearly tearing at his bandages.

He ran his fingers through my hair and looked at me sternly.

"Now look here, ain't nothin' was your fault, alright? Ya did whatcha can, and ya know what, i'm glad you went after that one armed fucker, an' put everythin' into to rescue me. I mean, not to sound mean an' all, but Cal you look pretty beaten." My breaths came out quick, raspy and harsh. I cringed at every breath I took and Ellis took note of that.

"I tried so hard to keep you safe El, I really did. I don't care what happens to me. I love you." Those words ran off my tongue and before I could realize what I just said I stopped. I took a step back and caught a good look at the shock on his face.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I was right, he's better off with a girl with his similar tastes.

What am I but just another person getting through this war; none of this matters.

I looked down at my feet, now more embarrassed than ever. I just wanted to get out and have this tiny trip over with.

Ellis held my hand loosely, not moving.

"Cal, ya mean that?" Trying to avoid eye contact, I just nodded.

I can't deny it, this swelling feeling I have growing in my chest just doesn't want to go away and i'm here dying because of it. You can say that it's because my ribs are probably poking holes into my heart and lungs but I know this feeling, and it's something so deep and just, surreal. It's suffocating me but at the same time, I enjoy it.

El kissed the top of my head, and he pulled me closer.

"Thank yew." He pulled my chin up and placed his lips against mine, softly and tender.

It was an out of body experience. I felt like I was lying on a soft pink cloud, being tickled by it's soft texture against my skin. I was at peace

I felt like for at the moment, the world was in harmony.

I tried moving my jaw, but cringed and pulled away. It was probably dislocated or something.

Ellis just smiled, and sat on his cot, making room for me so I can lie beside him.

I crawled underneath the wool blanket and curled beside him, feeling warm and cozy.

"I promise you, I ain't leaving you."

I remember my first boyfriend.

It was when I moved to New York and studied Art History in College.

He had rough large hands, and messy dirty blond hair. He had green eyes and a tiny scar on his left eyebrow.

He was into graffiti and I ran into him as he was tagging a side of the school buildings wall.

From then on I hung out with him a lot and took nice walks around the local park, collecting flowers.

In the beginning he was sincere and sometimes affectionate. He was cold, and distant though.

We weren't much of a couple honestly, we just hanged around in my apartment, me watching him as he painted and vice versa.

Then when things got physical, that's when everything went downhill.

Every night he'd climb into my room late at night and curl beside me, his hand tracing the outlines of my inner thighs. If he was brave, his hands would linger around my breasts.

It wasn't before long before he started leaving me behind alone at the park, going off and visiting his 'friends'. I'd wait long hours at the park in the snow just for him to say he was out of town.

I had a pregnancy scare with him and that was the last straw. I packed my things, dropped out of school and took off.

The last confrontation ended up harsh. He swung at me and nearly broke my nose. If it wasn't for Spencer not being there, I don't know what would've happened.

Then all this happened. Now i'm here.

Lying next to Ellis.

He breathed slowly and even snored, which I found funny.

The tiny feature on him, like the scar on the bridge of his nose was one of those things that attracted me to him.

These tiny imperfections, the things that you notice but no one else does. Those are the things you just hold onto, and cherish.

Suddenly this apocalypse wasn't so bad, you know?

"So we have at least one more day before we finally reach New Orleans. So I guess we better prep up soon before we get there." Nick announced as we ate dinner.

Still recovering from a bad jaw, it took me twice the time to eat. Rochelle gave me some pain killers to help ease the pain.

I took a quick glance at Ellis who was chatting up with Coach about something.

I felt like a highschool girl with her new boyfriend.

It was all so silly but I was really enjoying it. Something to enlighten the whole events of this outbreak.

Rochelle nudged me and smiled at me, I couldn't help it but just grin at her.

We all began unloading and cleaning out our guns, or whatever guns Virgil had willingly gave us. It wasn't much but at least enough for us to get through.

"How ya feelin' hun?" Ellis crept up beside me, loading his pistol.

"A bit dizzy but thank God it's just that. Still a bit sore from walking around the deck." He saw that I was struggling loading up my gun and helped me.

"Well one more night an' we'll be back out. Yew just needa take it easy. Go on ahead an' sleep, I gotchu covered here."

I was grateful for that and decided to take the night off before once again facing the harsh world.

I just hope CEDA is there, and that we'll be safe once again. I miss Spencer so much, I really sincerely hope he's okay. It's just been swimming in my thoughts and I couldn't help but wonder what would we do if CEDA wasn't there.

What if Spencer got infected.

No, stay positive, just stay positive.

"Now this is a'far as Virgil goes, but y'all can make it to the bridge from here." Echoed Virgil from the Speaker before he went off. Nick scoffed and turned to face us.

I guess I was wrong about New Orleans being safe.

"Dammnn... This can't be what we were goin' for..." Coach mumbled as we made our way up the walkway.

Then I saw it all.

It was infested.

My stomach dropped when I realized that this was my home.

My haven

Gone

[A/N] sorry if this was rushed in anyway. I'm in the middle of finals and i swear to god i am getting closer and closer to the end of this story.

but it's just really beginning to blossom and it makes me happy.

on the other hand, i'ma start making tiny doodles about my fic, so if you guys wanna check it out, head on to my dA on my profile.

reviews and critiques are always welcomed.