Prompt: It's the night/morning before Arizona's first full day back at work as head of Peds. She's nervous and Callie needs reminding as to why she's the best.
Arizona sits on the edge of the bed rubbing her thigh. She's trying to pretend that the change from flesh to plastic doesn't bother her as her hand moves back and forth. I mean she's really trying. This is the reality of her life now and she has to come to terms with it eventually… and preferably right now, seeing as how she has work in 30 minutes. It's going to be her first official day back and she is a nervous wreck. The term "wreck" isn't used lightly in the case of Arizona Robbins M.D., F.A.C.S. She is sweating all over her favorite blouse, her head is throbbing, and either she's pregnant or her anxiety has shoved her stomach into her throat.
Barring some divine impregnation, it was in-fact the levity of the day making Arizona sick. Her gut was doing back flips and threatening to empty its contents. Never before has she been so unsure about doing her job. Pediatric surgery is her thing. The one thing where no one can rival her skill… well at least no one could before. Surgery is an art of the hands but it takes the whole body. Having a body that no longer felt whole was causing some serious doubt.
What if I can't make it through rounds? What if I miss a 911? What if I have to quit a surgery because I can't stand anymore?
The thoughts swirled violently in the blonde's head. Soon the worry diminished her ability to breathe evenly. Shallow, shaky breaths fell from her lips in quick succession. There was a real possibility of her hyperventilating until Callie strolled in casually.
"Hey we're gonna be late if- Zona?" Callie scrunched her brow with confusion at the sight of her frazzled wife. She took a seat next to her and tried unsuccessfully to make their eyes connect. "Sweetie? Baby what's wrong?"
The nervous woman just shook her head slowly. The uncertainty in her heart made it impossible to explain anything.
Figuring words were useless, Callie resorted to kneeling in front of her wife. She lifted Arizona's head gently, tearing her eyes away from the prosthetic. She gave a questioning look, asking why her wife was driving herself crazy. She had never lost faith in Arizona's abilities and wanted more than anything for the blonde to feel the same.
"I could lose it Callie. If I can't do surgeries, or rounds, or anything without tiring, I'm finished. No way I can keep my job, my peds ward, my career. I rather not even try. I should resign… resign and take my pension and be… a-a homemaker. I'm cute and blonde. I can-"
"Arizona.." Callie interrupted. The endless rant came to a halt and the blonde was forced to suck in a heavy breath. She hadn't even noticed that she wasn't breathing.
"You've put in all the work, invested all your energy into this. You are not going to fail." She offered a warm smile but got a despondent stare in return. "Zona…" she prompted, hoping to hear some words of agreement from her girl. They had talked about this so many times in the last few weeks. It seemed liked they were on the same page about Arizona to getting back to work. This little melt-down was saying otherwise.
"Don't Callie. Don't 'Zona' me because I'm not just freaking out here. It's a very serious, very real possibility that I crash and burn." Both women grimace at the unnerving metaphor. The mere thought of 'crashing' drudged up the dark, dark memories surrounding the accident. "I can't go in there with all this hope and then fail. I can't bounce back from that Calliope. I-I…" Her sentence was stifled by tears. They burned hot, moist trails down her face and her defenses melted away. Callie didn't hesitate to get up and pull Arizona into a tight hug. All the walls she'd put up, broke down, and rebuilt, were falling again. Thank God these walls were weak and rooted in self-doubt, opposed to insurmountable hate like before. Finally they were in a place where Callie could help the love of her life heal.
"Hope is good Arizona. Hope, and joy, and happiness used to be you. I just want you to be you again and I don't think that can happen if you stop being a surgeon." Callie leaned back to see how much of what she was saying actually reached the blonde. "You are no Martha Stewarts. You're way too hardcore for that," Callie added lightly. There was no suppressing the grins that swept across both of their faces.
Looking at those dimples stole Callie's breath. Every time Arizona smiled the Latina took it in with vast appreciation. Never again would she take a 'super magic smile' for granted. Not after losing it for so long.
But even as Callie admired it, she saw it fade away. "I'm scared," Arizona sad quietly, sniffling back more tears. "I don't know how to be normal anymore."
For the millionth time since that terrible night, Callie's heart broke into tiny little fragments. Normal was way overrated. All she wanted was her wife back, screw normal. Still, she knew nothing would get better if Arizona wasn't comfortable in her own skin… and her own plastic. So, Callie did the one thing she knew would make her wife remember how perfect she was.
She pulled her into a fierce kiss, so close and needy there was a pleasurable pain. The contact sent a shiver up Arizona's spine and sent her senses ablaze. Her worries about work suddenly seemed less relevant, her only concern being the need for air.
Pulling back she stared into Callie's dark brown eyes, a hint of uncertainty still lingering in her own. "Callie I-"
Again, lips crashed together, because the brunette knows words can't help. Not right now, not for this. After a moment Arizona sheds the inhibition and runs her hands through raven curls, pulling Callie in closer.
This kiss- so vigorous, and passionate, and true- was sorely missed. They had not kissed like this is months. It felt like a lifetime had passed while Arizona recovered, and moments of intimacy had all but vanished.
Right then, in their room, just minutes from work, that last piece of the puzzle fell into place. With their love alive it was easy to see both of them were absolutely whole again.
When Callie finally broke away she left her forehead pressed to Arizona's. "I believe in you. You are exceptional Arizona. Truly exceptional."
And for the first time in a long time Arizona allowed herself to believe that too. "I love you," she whispered. And in return got a sound, "I love you too."