There is no excuse for how terrible I am at regular updates. To make up for it, here's a chapter that's about 1000 words longer than usual.
Disclaimer: ATLA belongs to Bryke & Mulan belongs to Disney.
Enjoy!
Chapter Ten
My entire body still aches when I wake up later that night. When I leave my tent, it looks like the camp has returned to some semblance of normalcy. The bodies of our fallen comrades have been taken away and buried by those who hadn't needed healing. Somewhere on the other side of the camp, I can hear my brother's voice ordering some of the recruits into building stone huts for everyone. Looks like this will be a regular practice now.
Upon hearing this, I start to break my tent down. My mind is in a daze while I work, and I'm so distracted that I jump when Toph suddenly appears in my peripheral.
"Hey - sorry. Didn't mean to sneak up on you." We both know she wasn't sneaking, but I'm glad for her sensitivity, uncharacteristic as it is.
"It's fine. - don't worry about it." My hands are still shaking a bit, and I wonder if Toph can sense it. In the dimming light, it's hard to read her facial expressions.
"Sokka was looking for you a while ago, by the way. Told me to let you know when you got up." The tone of her voice tells me I won't like whatever my brother has to say.
I finish taking my tent down and Toph builds me a new one in seconds. I store my things inside, taking a large piece of cloth to create a makeshift door. Toph goes off to help the others with new stone huts and I head out to look for my brother.
He's deep in conversation with Zuko when I find him, so I hang back some distance away to let them finish speaking uninterrupted. Fortunately or unfortunately, I overhear the end of it.
"This attack was much too well coordinated. They must have been following us a while." Sokka's voice is tired, and I wonder if he's gotten any sleep.
"Or someone leaked information." The prince only just conceals his anger, and I wonder if he suspects anyone. It's never occurred to me that there might be a traitor in the camp. If there were, at least the pool of possible candidates has greatly been reduced.
"You think there's a spy?" My brother lowers his voice, coming closer to Zuko.
"I don't know." Zuko pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly still exhausted. A heavy silence weighs on both of them, and I figure it's as good a time as any to make my presence known.
I clear my throat, "Sokka? Toph said you were looking for me."
"Oh, hey Kuruk." Almost immediately, his disposition changes - a fake cheeriness attempting to light his features. He should know better by now than to try lying to me.
At the sight of me, Zuko is suddenly tense. "Did you get enough rest?"
"Yes, I'm okay." I can't help but feel like I'm being scrutinized - does he think I'm the traitor? Or worse - could he think Kya is? Trying to defuse the sudden tension, I speak again. "How are your injuries?"
"Fine."
Sokka seems to sense the edge in Zuko's demeanor, speaking up immediately after. "I was wondering if you could take another look at a couple of people. Some reopened their wounds trying to help rebuild the camp."
Something tells me that isn't everything Sokka called me for, but I latch onto the opportunity to leave Zuko's scrutiny. "Sure."
Zuko exchanges a look with Sokka and nods to me before leaving in the opposite direction. I wait until I know the prince is out of earshot and no one else can overhear before speaking again.
"So Zuko thinks there's a traitor?"
"How much of that did you hear?" Sokka looks over at me, shoulders sagging.
"Just the last bit. Anything I can do to help?"
"Actually, I want you to go home." He stops walking, turning to look at me. "It's too dangerous for you to stay, to go all the way to Ba Sing Se."
"I can't just leave-"
"I've already talked to Master Pakku and Zuko - you're all still trainees, they won't hold it against anyone if you choose to turn around. A couple of the injured need to be taken to the hospital near our old camp, you'd be going back with them."
"No." I cross my arms, daring him to say anything else. "There aren't many healers here, and I'm the best one you have! The danger is all the more reason to keep me around."
He sighs, rubbing his face with one hand.
"You know I'm right, Sokka." He doesn't say anything, so I take the opportunity to continue. "So where are they - the people you need me to heal?"
Turns out he really did need me to heal a couple of recruits - the very same ones who are being sent to the hospital. I remember their injuries from the previous night. They were among the few who suffered from broken bones. Unfortunately for them, breaks can't be healed with water. I manage to ease their pain some, and heal some of the bruising, before re-doing their splints.
"Try not to move too much, okay? Those splints won't hold up against a lot of activity." There are also a few others - mostly earthbenders - who over-exerted themselves rebuilding the camp. It takes a little over and hour to treat them, but I don't call for any help. Healing gives me something to do, makes me feel useful where I'd otherwise be sitting around awaiting orders. By the time I'm done with the last patient, everyone in our makeshift medical tent is asleep, exhaustion and pain claiming them.
The camp is mostly quiet by the time I'm done, and the guard shifts are changing. One of the other healers shows up at the hut and tells me Sokka sent him to relieve me. When I leave the hut, Suki - who managed to get out of the fight nearly completely unscathed, is taking up the general guard with Sokka. Both of them sit by the fire, so I pass by before heading to my hut.
"How are they doing?" Sokka looks up from tending the fire.
"As well as can be expected. With some rest, most of them should be alright in a day or so." I don't linger for very long, saying goodnight shortly after.
Despite my exhaustion, though, I know I won't be able to sleep - I slept almost the entire day - so I decide to grab my things and head for the river, careful to make sure no one else had similar ideas. I walk some distance away from the camp down the river, where I'm sure no one will hear me or notice me. My nerves are still on edge, and I jump at almost any sound. It's almost thirty minutes before I allow myself to even think about relaxing. By then, I'm already done with my shower and dressed again, pulling my hair back into a wolf tail. I can't bring myself to head back, though, and instead drop into a familiar waterbending stance and begin to practice.
It's a full moon, imbuing me with more energy than I'm used to, and I know I'm going to feel the exhaustion when we head back out the next day. I'm lost in my thoughts as I practice my forms when a rustling in the bushes behind me makes me whip around, taking a jet of water with me. A hiss sounds in the darkness, and I can just make out the steam and flash of light that briefly precedes it.
"Can't sleep either?" Zuko's voice catches me off-guard, though I guess I should have expected it. I wonder if he's looking for Kya.
"Slept all day, plus it's a full moon. I'm sure I'm not the only waterbender having trouble sleeping." I relax, glad I decided to get dressed in the uniform and pull my hair back again.
"I suppose you're right." He walks closer to the river, looking down at the water. For a while, we stand in silence and I debate simply leaving and sitting in my hut until sunrise.
"Prince Zuko?" My voice is shyer than I intend, but I can't help my nerves. What if I'm out of line in what I'm about to ask?
"Yeah?"
"The two captives…"
"What about them?"
"Did they say anything?" It's been nagging at the back of my mind since I woke up, but I knew Sokka probably wouldn't say anything. Not to mention, I don't exactly have the clearance to find out information like that as a lowly recruit.
Zuko simply looks at me for a moment, golden eyes contemplating whether or not to say anything. "Only that they were given information about our departure to Ba Sing Se - that they knew we'd be taking an alternate route."
"I see." I can't exactly pry further, and I'm surprised he told me anything at all. He continues to watch me, and I know that the longer I linger, the more his suspicions will grow. There's no way for me to head back without seeming suspicious, though, so I'm rooted to the spot. "Do you mind if I continue practicing?"
He shakes his head, waving a hand as if to say he doesn't care either way. I settle back into my stance, going through the forms I learned from Hama. Master Pakku was a great instructor, but there was something feral and just more flexible about the way Hama taught me waterbending. Making my way through a particularly complicated form that involved controlling multiple water tentacles at once, I could feel Zuko watching my every move. What is he looking for? Why can't he just go away? My tentacles lash out and whip at a large boulder by the river, leaving puncture marks and gashes in the stone. A moment later I shift my stance into something closer to firebending. It's been a while since I practiced this way, with Hama barking at me to switch stances at a moment's notice. With quick jabs, I launch jets of water out of the river and into the boulder, freezing them on impact so the ice shatters everywhere with each hit. I get lost in my bending, so that everything fades away from my awareness, leaving only the moon, the water, and the boulder.
"That's impressive." He's still sitting there?
I stop moving, turning to look at him again. He's gone from standing by the river to sitting in the lotus position. Zuko looks like he's about to meditate. I bow my head, attempting to keep up the respectful soldier façade. After all, he's still a prince and my commanding officer. "Thank you."
"That looked like firebending." At least he doesn't seem that suspicious anymore, just curious.
"My waterbending master insisted I incorporate various styles into my bending. Makes me more adaptable." I don't expect him to smile at that, but he does. His face relaxes some.
"Sounds like my uncle." An image of the friendly general floats to the front of my mind. A flash of worry passes through Zuko's eyes. That's right - he's supposed to be in Ba Sing Se.
"General Iroh?"
"Yes." Worry crinkles his brow, but he does a valiant job of trying to hide the nerves. I'm struck with a sudden image of what the general looked like all those years ago, worried for his nephew as Hama and I treated his burn. The expression makes them look strikingly similar.
Before I know what I'm doing, I speak, "He's a strong general. I've heard stories of the things he's capable of. I'm sure he hasn't had any trouble in Ba Sing Se."
Zuko gives me a look, half surprised half embarrassed. I'm about to head back to the camp when Zuko speaks again.
"Would you join me for meditation?" The word why bubbles in my throat, but something about the way he looks at me tells me not to ask. Maybe he just doesn't want to be alone, and I'm the only one awake and available for company. Rather than refuse, I nod and move to sit beside him.
"I've never meditated before." I copy the way he sits, trying to relax my posture. Hama never cared much for the practice, deeming it unnecessary when learning combat. Pacifist airbender nonsense, she called it.
"Just start by relaxing and focusing on your breathing." He closes his eyes and rests his hands in his lap, one on top of the other, his thumbs just barely touching. Again, I copy him.
For a while, we simply sit in tranquility - his breathing, my breathing, and the hush of the flowing river the only sounds that accompany us. It's easy to focus on my own breathing, but every few minutes my mind wanders to his. Before I realize it, I'm matching his breaths. I feel light, my head swimming in a sense of peace I can't remember ever experiencing. I don't know how long we're like this, only that a sudden rustling behind us pulls us both out of our meditations.
"Prince Zuko." We both turn to see Ty Lee standing some distance away. She smiles, though it's impossible to tell if it's sincere. It seems she tries to keep a perpetual smile - even if it doesn't always reach her eyes.
"What is it?" He stands, tense as if ready to receive bad news. I follow suit.
"We've received word from the princess. She and her forces will be meeting us in Ba Sing Se." Princess Azula? I try to call to mind everything I know about her, attempting to reconcile the increased tension in Zuko's jaw and shoulders with Ty Lee's announcement. Shouldn't this be good news? More reinforcements meant better a chance of safety in Ba Sing Se.
"Thank you. Any progress with the prisoners?" He crosses his arms, relaxing only slightly. Ty Lee glances at me, likely wondering if she's allowed to speak around someone who clearly doesn't rank high enough to be privy to need-to-know information. Zuko nods.
"Mai is working on it. They know more than they're letting on - the airbender slipped and said something about a planned coup in Ba Sing Se. We're not sure why they would be targeting the king, so we're trying to get more information." The king? Do they not know the Avatar is in Ba Sing Se?
"Ba Sing Se is one of the strongest cities in the world - if it falls, so will the rest of the Earth Kingdom. It'd be complete chaos. Exactly what the Red Lotus wants." Zuko sighs. "Thank you, Ty Lee. Let me know if you get any more information. Send word to Azula that we'll be expecting her in the western outskirts or the city. Tell her about the attack."
"Yes sir." A small smile and bow, and then she's gone back in the direction of the camp, footsteps too quiet to hear over the river and sounds of the night.
"You should head back to the camp, as well. You'll need rest for tomorrow." He starts to walk deeper into the forest. I want to ask where he's going, but I know he won't tell me. Is he looking for Kya? I realize he hasn't spoken to her since before the attack. With the camp on high alert, it probably isn't a good idea to dress up tonight, but can I risk letting Zuko's suspicions about her increase?
No, I can't.
"Yes sir." I bow the way Ty Lee did before turning to jog back to camp. Careful to go unnoticed, I grab my things out of the stone hut and run back into the cover of the woods, throwing my robe over my clothes and haphazardly doing my makeup. Hiding the bag up in a tree, I go deeper into the forest to look for Zuko. When I make it back to the river, he's long gone. If I wait around, will he eventually double back? Can I afford to sit around? Probably not, so I decide to start making my way in the same direction he went, following along the river.
The night grows chillier with every passing moment, and even though I'm wearing several layers of clothes, the wind blows right through me. Time passes me by as I continue to walk, unsure of how far away from the camp I've wandered. I'm not worried about making my way back, sure that I'll be fine if I just follow the river, but I can't shake off my apprehension.
Apparently, I've made it pretty far away from the camp, because Zuko ambushes me in a flurry of fire bursts. I only just manage to dodge out of the way and bring a stream of water out of the river to put out the fires. He came dangerously close to hurting me, though, the heat of his flames licking at my robes just before they went out. I'm about to ask him what's going on when he launches himself out of the darkness and towards me again, more kicks lined with fire and bursts of flame coming in my direction. All I can do is dodge and put up shields with my water, so that we're surrounded in steam after only seconds.
"Zu-" When did he get so close? A punch to my gut winds me and he knocks me onto my back, before he pins me down with his body, holding a fire dagger to my neck.
"Give me one reason to believe you're not responsible for the attack on my camp." His eyes narrow, he glares down at me. My hat's fallen away, and I'm glad I took the time to apply the makeup. This close, it would have been impossible to conceal my identity otherwise. My hands are free to move, to waterbend him off me, but I'm too scared to make them budge.
"I'm not-"
"You're the only person outside it that knew we'd be taking a different route. You won't even tell me your real name." Dammit.
"And you've ruled out the possibility of a traitor within the camp?" His eyes tell me he hasn't. "Or that someone from the Red Lotus group in that town kept an eye on your camp?" The heat of the dagger is beginning to burn my neck. If he doesn't move it soon, it'll leave a mark - one I won't be able to hide very easily. "Why would I heal you if I'm not on your side?" I'm sweating now, and he's crushing my ribs with his weight. "Zuko, please. It's a full moon - I could overpower you if I wanted to - I'm choosing not to. Please."
My eyes dart to the water, and it seems it's only then he realizes my arms have been free the whole time. He pushes himself off me to sit on the grass, and I'm left on the ground breathing heavily, trying to take in all the air he'd been cutting off. When I sit up, I immediately call water to the palm of my hand and press it where he'd been burning me. I understand why he did it, but it doesn't keep the anger from my eyes as I glare at him. The water soothes the burn, and I can already feel the skin repairing itself.
"Sorry." He's put out the fire dagger, rubbing his face with the same hand before sighing. "I-"
"I get it. It's fine. Just ask questions first next time rather than blindly attacking me." It's difficult to keep the anger out of my voice, too. "As for my name - I can't tell you. I just can't. You're going to have to trust me."
"Why?" Again, those narrow, golden eyes scrutinize me. It's difficult not to squirm, but I somehow manage.
"Female waterbender, remember? If someone in your camp finds out my name…" For starters, there'd be no stopping Sokka from shipping me back to the Fire Nation immediately. Pakku and the others? I'd be as good as dead.
"You don't trust me not to tell? But you expect me to trust you?"
"It's not that I don't trust you. I just don't trust everyone in your camp. What if someone sees us? Or spots me? The less you know about me, the better. It's for your safety, too. What would they think - the crown prince of the Fire Nation harboring an illegally-trained female waterbender?" I sigh, finally moving my hand away from the burn. It seems to have healed completely. "Maybe I shouldn't follow you to Ba Sing Se - this was a mistake."
"Don't." I move to stand, but he reaches out, his hand encasing mine over the grass, stopping me from moving. Slowly, his fingers curl around my palm, so it's not just trapped against the ground anymore. He's shaking.
"Zuko?" For a fleeting second, his eyes look like they did back when we were kids, when Hama and I healed his burn. Helpless. Half of me wants to pull away, but that's not the half that wins. Instead of taking my hand back, I settle into the grass again. "Zuko."
"Sorry." He's not shaking as much anymore, but there's a tremble to his voice. This is a completely different side of the prince - one I'm sure he's never showed in the camp or to any of his soldiers. The closes he came was the worry he expressed for his uncle earlier in the night. He's a shaken by the attack on the camp as I am - as everyone else is.
"It'll be alright." It's weird, being the one doing the comforting this time around.
"So many of my men - injured or killed. I should have listened to Pakku. They weren't ready. I should have sent them home." I bite my lip to fight back against the pang in my chest.
"Everyone in that camp is there by choice. I'm sure, from what I've seen, that if you tried to send them home many would protest and refuse. They know why they're there, Zuko." I sit back on my calves, taking his hand in both of mine, holding it in my lap. When I look back up at him, our eyes lock and I realize exactly how close I'm sitting.
There's a magnetism about his eyes I never noticed - they pull me much closer than I ever have a right to get, but he leans forward, too, as if unable to resist a similar pull. The moment feels like it stretches out for hours, but I know it all happens in less than a few seconds. Zuko hesitates for hardly a breath before he closes the distance, lips brushing lightly, tentatively against mine. His eyes close briefly, before he pulls away and they're open again, scanning mine for something - but I'm not sure what. A protest? Encouragement? I have no idea what I'm doing when I lean forward again, when I return his kiss.
His free hand makes its way to my neck, steadying me as we kiss, his lips moving slowly against mine. Zuko's impossibly warm, possessing a gentleness I never could have guessed at from looking at him as he cradles my head. Before I realize what I'm doing, one of my hands moves up to cup his cheek, brushing his scar. He stiffens and pulls away slightly. I take my hand back - clearly, I've crossed a line. When he looks at me, though, he's not angry or upset - he's confused. His eyes reflect what looks like a million questions. All it takes is that moment to snap me back into reality. I pull back completely, standing and moving away.
He follows, standing as well. What was I thinking? Kissing him? Touching his scar? I don't have time for this.
"I should go." Zuko breaks the silence first, his voice soft. He looks like he's about to say something else before he thinks better of it and leaves.
I wait until he's long gone before beginning the walk back along the river.
Next time: Ba Sing Se! And maybe Azula!
A million thanks for reading!