Day 10

They gave me the sweets today. I ate one immediately and offered them one, too. They declined. I can understand. They do not taste exceptional. But I have the first thing I need.

They asked me about the sweets of my childhood.

I don't know any. I am not sure that I don't remember or if there were none.

I like candy.

But did I get it when I was a child?

I do not know. I hope so, it would have made me happy.

I spent a lot of time around spyboy. I was not obvious about it. I am good at that. I found that nobody noticed I was doing things that would keep me close to him. He mutters to himself often. He is easy to overhear. I need to know what he fears most, I must know what he believes the Emperor is plotting against him. If he believes I am on his side, he will help me.

But it is a sad occupation.

Spyboy is living in a place I cannot enter. His universe is dark and sad, full of danger revolving around him like a maelstrom. Everything that occurs, happens to harm him, to cast him into oblivion.

I think many people think they are the centre of the universe, and for their small everyday life universes that might be true. But once you believe that to be true for everything - you end up here. I wonder why spyboy chose such a dark place.

Take the empress. Everything is revolving around her, too. She rules the galaxy, and her universe is full of love and adoration for her. Everything happens because she wants it to, everything is going as she pleases.In short, the universe she has revolving around her is good, while the universe spyboy created is bad. the truth lies somewhere in between.

I do not believe the galaxy revolves around me. Would it not have stopped, when I lost myself? Would it not have told me who I was, so it could go on?

There would be nothing much to revolve around. I'd sit in the middle of a million stars like a black hole.

I wrote a report about spyboy. I laid down a plan to poison him. Because I had spent the day overhearing his muttering, I could weave his own suspicions into it. Now I only have to present it to him in a way he will believe.

I laid aside a red stone-sweet to place in his jelly. Stone-sweets look like pills, or better, like people think pills look like. It is a joke, for children. In two days we will have jelly for dessert.

I kept the other sweets. I like candy, and even if it is not the best candy, I still do not like the thought of throwing it away. I eat another one.