"Sarah. Connor."
Sarah wanted the ground to swallow her up as April spoke. The nurse's entire body was frozen, a look of shock etched onto her face in the middle of the sidewalk.
Sarah suddenly felt over conscious of the fact that she still had her arm snaked around Connor's back. It had been an impulse, the start of an inside joke and it had felt far too comforting and promising for her to remove it.
Now she just felt like a fool.
She was the resident with a bad reputation hanging off the arm of the hospital's hot shot heart surgeon.
April found her voice again, far too quickly for Sarah's liking. "I thought you weren't dating?" She shot at Sarah. Ah, Sarah presumed April had heard all about her and Noah's last conversation.
She immediately felt Connor's arm stiffen around her, his hand still on her shoulder. She had to remind herself that it was there. In the course of a few fleeting minutes Sarah knew she had become far too fond of Connor practically attached to her hip. It was like they fit together so well, that he had become an extension of herself.
Until she fell under April's glare and felt totally out of place. Because what they had wasn't real. And suddenly, she didn't know whether she wanted it be fake either.
"We're not." Sarah defended herself, something she had gotten far too used to doing in work, but her words fell on deaf ears.
"My brother stuck by you through it all, even though he shouldn't have had, and you blow off his party for this?"
Sarah could have laughed at the fact that Estelle now looked a lot more interested in her and Connor's relationship, and more specially, it's woes.
"April…" Connor started, his voice low.
"Unbelievable." April said, looking Connor up and down as if he had stolen Sarah away from Noah.
"I don't have to talk either of you right now." She gritted out and pushed her way past Sarah and practically stamped her way away from them.
Sarah swallowed, her mouth going dry as Connor removed his arm from her shoulders, a weight that she missed immediately.
"We have the worst luck when it comes to work relations don't we?" Connor said, his mouth twitching upward, trying to crack a joke but sadly it did nothing to alleviate the sick feeling that curled itself up in her stomach.
She had just gotten back into the fold at work. She had finally been accepted back into her group of friends. Her family. And now what?
Noah was going to make her life difficult, Connor was going to be talked about because of her and April would surely have everyone pick Noah's side.
Estelle cleared her throat, reminding Sarah that she was actually there, "Do you want to continue onto the next property?"
"We don't have to." Connor told Sarah under his breath. She guessed that she wasn't hiding her emotions very well.
So she shook her head, to clear her thoughts, and decided that she wasn't about to let the Sextons ruin the good day she had been having.
And it had been a good day. Spending time with Connor beat cooping herself up in her apartment alone. That wasn't to say that she wasn't surprised by his invite. Sure they were friends but this was an entire other ball game. She loved it. He had somehow become one of the closet friends she had in Chicago.
"No, we should go." She insisted, settling back into the bubble where it was just the two of them, "Anyway, we owe each other a drink, and I need it now." She tried to give her best impression of a smile.
He nodded once, before they took off after Estelle, falling back into step with each other. She could tell that Connor was extremely surprised by the fact that they needed a cab ride to the next property. He had said he wanted rentals near Med. Sarah suppressed a laugh at the look of something between fear, confusion and intrigue that appeared on Connor's face when they ended up along a street of houses complete with white picket fences and gardens.
"Claire mentioned that you might like to look at something that didn't follow your exact requirements." Estelle explained.
Connor huffed, "Claire thinks that I don't know what I want." He corrected.
"Might as well have a look." Sarah suggested with a shrug.
"What the hell." He sighed. "Sure."
The house might as well have walked straight out of Sarah's dreams. A well maintained two story building with a driveway, front lawn and in a good neighbourhood.
Estelle led them up the front steps, into the hallway that led into a gorgeous open plan kitchen, dining room and living room. If Sarah had the money she would have bought it right on the spot. There was even an extra living room perfect for cosying up in during the cold Chicago winter and with four bedrooms and an attic conversion? She could have her own library and music room.
Sure, it had less space than the home that she had shared with her Mom, but it already felt ten times homelier.
"Have you any questions?" Estelle asked after they had taken a look at all the rooms.
Sarah blinked, like she had just woken up from a good dream, trying to refocus her thoughts. She hadn't asked a single one of her questions off the list that her and her Mom had drawn up when she had been moving away from home. So she asked a few of the most important ones as she eyed up space for Connor's record player and fawned over the kitchen.
"So you're a fan then?" Connor asked with a smile as he leaned against the door frame of the extra living room.
"How could anybody not be?" She asked in return. "Can I just camp out here and not go back to work?"
She got to hear his laugh in response, "It has something about it doesn't it?" He mused, looking around. "and it's not even as far from Med as I thought. Maybe I don't know what I want." He frowned.
"Yes but you're practical, rentals work for you." She shrugged, "This is me window shopping for after my residency," She smiled.
"It's putting down roots isn't it? This is a nice escape from the craziness of the city without being too far removed…"
"Maybe you do know what you want."
After another look at the rooms, with Estelle checking her watch every five seconds. The estate agent finally got the two doctors to leave the property with Connor promising to call to organise which property he was going to go with.
Sarah had been worried that their friendship would only stretch to work related topics and the fact that they both knew what it was like to be like on the outside. But she was proved wrong.
Estelle took a cab, but Sarah and Connor went walking.
The breeze was light, the sun was shining and she wished the sidewalk would go on forever. She watched as his face would light up taking about Guadalajara. She launched into long winded stories about home, happy to have someone who listened. Their shoulders bumped as they avoided people on the sidewalk, and she had to tell herself that under no circumstances could she reach for his hand, it may have lasted all of five minutes but Sarah missed their fake relationship.
With no other plans for the day but to grab a drink in Molly's, they decided to and get something to eat. She was glad they weren't dating, because if it was a date, Sarah didn't know how she was going to eat her food. He was one of the most handsome men she had ever had the pleasure of meeting, and now knowing that he had a good heart too? It made it a lethal combination and she would have been too nervous to eat.
With the evening chill setting in, they grabbed a cab to Molly's. Upon entering, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that there was no other Med staff present. She cringed, thinking that they were probably all at Noah's party, knowing that they would all soon learn of April's discovery of her and Connor's 'relationship'.
"Hey guys, what can I get for my two favourite doctors?" Herrmann asked.
They ordered their drinks, grabbing a small table away from prying eyes. Sarah excused herself to go the bathroom and faltered when she caught sight of her appearance. The chill in the air had roused up the red in her cheeks. Her hair, which she had tamed as much as she could that morning, was now leading a life of it's own, framing her face erratically.
But even with imminent arrival of more rumours and whispers and looks at work and even with the loss of a friend in Noah, she hadn't felt this happy and contented in a long time.
It maybe, might, have something to do with the handsome cardio-thoracic fellow. Just maybe.
She returned to their table and he pulled out the stool for her. It was nice, in an odd way, to not have their colleagues there. They didn't have to hide away from everyone. They could just be Connor and Sarah, who happened to be doctors in the same hospital, who were good friends, and they even mingle with the other patrons of the bar. A light-hearted argument started between a few of the detectives from the 21st and Dawson and Brett from the firehouse over the lack of a 'police room' for pizza at the hospital.
"Hey, don't go thinking that the doctors leave the room for exclusive paramedic use. These two are the worst culprits, they're always hogging it." Dawson joked.
"Yeah well I Will there and does that get me tv time or pizza? No." Jay Halstead laughed, and Sarah could even hear the family resemblance.
"Yeah well sometimes even we need an escape from the doctors and nurses." Connor smiled before taking a drink.
Sarah couldn't remember a night when she had laughed as much as she had done that night. Her cheeks were sore from smiling so much as she sat in her cab on the way home. And she may have been slightly tipsy.
That was what she was going to blame her behaviour if anyone asked. Because right there just inside the door of Molly's when her and Connor were saying goodbye, she reached up and kissed his cheek.
The action had come naturally, she didn't know what had triggered it. One minute they were saying goodnight and the next she had her lips pressed to his cheek. If he had any objections, he didn't voice them. She hoped that he would take it as a friendly gesture and nothing more.
What ate at her the entire ride home was the thought that maybe she hadn't meant it as a friendly gesture at all.
After she got home, receiving a goodnight text from Connor, she tried to tell herself that Noah hadn't been onto something when it came to her and Connor. She laughed at the irony of it, she hadn't been thinking of Connor that way before now. They had grown close since her pepper spray debacle and his split from Robyn, but not this close. Not close enough to go house hunting, grabbing dinner together and having drinks.
But after spending the day with him, or realising that he had stuck by her under no obligation at work, unlike Noah who wanted something in return.
The easy conversation, the reliability, the heart fluttering inducing smile he would send her way? It all culminated in the stark realisation that she was falling for Connor Rhodes.
And that she was falling fast.
She made her coffee extra strong the following morning in her apartment to drink on the way to work to wake herself up a bit. She hadn't slept much that night.
She reminded herself as she drove that it was the reason that she never drank when she had work the next day.
But that was a lie to herself, because she knew that the alcohol wasn't the reason that she had been awake half the night. If she hadn't been worrying enough already about Noah and the aftermath of the run in with April, now she had to worry about her actions that had essentially been an advance on Connor.
Dr Rhodes, her colleague, friend and now confidant. And she had kissed him. She cringed at the thought out it. What had she been thinking?
Sure, he was handsome, they seemed to get each other, they were the outliers in their friend group and he could make her heart flutter if she thought about him for too long but that didn't mean she could just go and ruin their tentative friendship by kissing him.
She felt a headache coming on.
She made her way into the ED and into the doctors' lounge, keeping her eyes peeled for either of the Sexton siblings or any of the staff that she just knew loved to gossip. She thought she had gotten in undetected until she opened the door and found Connor sitting with two cups of coffee at the table in the otherwise empty room.
She waited with bated breath as to whether he was going to bring up her misguided actions.
"Morning. Remind me why we let Herrmann give us those last drinks again?" He said with a smile on his face. "I got you coffee." He pushed the mug toward her, "I thought if I was feeling extra tired this morning, you might be too."
"Thanks." She laughed, glad that they could gloss over it. "I need it."
"I see Noah isn't scheduled for a shift today." He mentioned, clearing his throat.
Sarah immediately felt the tension ease in her shoulders, "Really? Good." One Sexton less to deal with.
They chatted a while about nothing in particular until Maggie entered the room, arguing with Dr Stohl about resources.
"Hey, have you got a free minute for a consult?" Connor asked.
Sarah checked the time, "Yeah, I've a got a bit of time before my rounds, what is it?"
"Just to do the follow up chat with Olivia Matthews to make sure she's doing okay."
"Oh of course." She didn't even hesitate, she couldn't, not when he was so invested in the patient. He had spoken at length about the patient at their dinner the previous evening, the woman had been in and out of the cardiology department since Connor had started his work there.
They left the lounge, crossing the ED as an ambulance rolled up and Sarah hoped that it might distract the staff. But that didn't happen. April very nearly stuck Sarah to her spot with a glare from the other side of the ED bay. The nurse was standing still, holding a few files, following Sarah and Connor with her eyes as they made their way towards the elevator.
"At least we're used to be the centre of attention when it comes to the rumours around here huh?" He sighed, pressing the button for the cardiology floor.
Then he spoke the words that she was thinking but too apprehensive about saying out loud. "At least we have each other this time."
She had terrible timing. She really did. She ducked into the lounge to grab her bag from her locker at lunch when she was stopped by the heated conversation coming from the hallway to the changing rooms.
Her heart gave a lurch in the empty room, hearing the voices of April and Ethan from the other side of the door.
"I'm serious Ethan! It's ridiculous. You should have seen them, they're doing it on purpose. She's purposely led my brother on and now she's acting all innocent about it."
"C'mon April, this is Sarah we're talking about, she doesn't have a malicious bone in her body."
"Well if you're going to go there, Ethan, she attacked a patient."
"April, that is a totally different conversation."
"Well I just don't like how they're flaunting it around."
"They're hardly flaunting anything. Are you sure they're even dating?"
"Were you not listening to me? They were cuddling in the middle of the street. While she blew off Noah's party!"
"Okay, but you did say that Noah uninvited her. April, babe, seriously Noah and Sarah never dated. It's not like she's cheating on him. And Connor could use some happiness anyway."
"Ethan. That's not the point. She broke my brother's heart. And now Connor is rubbing it in. I would think you'd take our side."
"I didn't realise there were sides."
She swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew there had to be rumours about them but that didn't mean she wanted to actually hear them. She hated that it was coming from people she had once considered family. She got her bag as quickly and as quietly as she could and left the room in record time.
She knew there was a reason she liked the paramedics' room. Less chance of running into the ever expanding list of colleagues that didn't like her for one reason or another.
She was glad the room was empty, giving her a chance to let her heart rate come down.
Her heart didn't get much respite as it started hammering again as soon as she saw Connor coming in.
"Hey." He sighed, sinking into the sofa beside her. "How has your shift been so far?"
She shrugged, "Fine. Good." She sighed, "Do you know there are sides now? Team Noah or Team Connor. I think they're investing in t-shirts." She said sombrely.
He laughed humourlessly, "Well take your pick, because from what I hear I'm the girlfriend stealing monster or you're the heartless gold digger."
She snorted, "Nice."
"Yeah, we're quite the duo." He contemplated, holding her gaze.
It was broken a minute later when two paramedics arrived to watch something on the TV.
Sarah didn't know if she was spending too much time looking at Connor recently because she could tell something else was bothering him. Just from the way his shoulders were tensed and he hung his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows as if trying to solve and insolvable puzzle.
"What's up?" She asked, knowing there was something wrong, as they left the room. He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "It's Olivia, my heart transplant patient."
Sarah perked up, "Oh? What's wrong? She was doing great this morning."
"It's probably nothing. It's just some of the stats weren't up to standard so I had to up some of her medication, the last thing I want to happen is for her to go into graft failure."
"No definitely not. Not after what she's been through." Sarah knew they had to keep a close on Olivia, because if the new heart failed it could be fatal.
"We just have to monitor her more carefully."
Sarah wished there was some way she could make everything better for him. She hated seeing him this dejected.
"Keep me updated okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, I will, thanks Sarah." She was happy just to see him perk up for the split second of realisation that she cared.
"Hey, I swapped my shifts with one of the other residents. So I'm working tomorrow instead of tomorrow night. Well okay, they wanted to swap and I want to win someone over in psychology…" She admitted with a smile, "So anyway, I heard about this band that's playing in a bar near me tomorrow night, and they play some of those classic songs you have records of and if you're free, do you want to come along with me?"
So she may or may not have a crush on him, that didn't mean she couldn't spend time with him, right?
"Oh. Tomorrow night?" He scratched the back of his neck. "Actually I just made plans, with Estelle, the estate agent? Hey, maybe Claire was right and I do need to move on. I figured a date couldn't hurt right?"
"No it couldn't hurt. That's good to hear." She smiled, but her stomach dropped.
It did hurt. It made her heart hurt.
A/N: I'm so sorry about the delay in getting this chapter up, I didn't mean to leave you all on such a cliffhanger for so long but sometimes life gets in the way. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Can I just mention too that I've been blown away by the support for this story, all the views and reviews and follows and favourites are amazing and I can't thank you enough, it gives me the inspiration to keep going. :)
A guest reviewer mentioned on the last chapter that my chapters are on the shorter side, so thank you for the feedback. I apologise, I didn't know quite what length was long enough. So I'm going to make an effort to make my chapters longer with more detail and hope that you like them. :)