Pairing: Ichimaru x Kira
Rating: M (Graphic sex, rape, violence, swearing)
Length: 20,000+ (Complete)
Update Frequency: Weekly
Summary: Spanning Kira's lieutenancy from his instatement, until three years after the current story, and the relationship that develops between captain and lieutenant.
Note 1: The terms for the shinigami garments are pulled from http: / paperiuni. livejournal. com/ 4516. html (remove the spaces).
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any characters associated with it. The plot and original characters in Antenora Smiles I do own.
A/N: This is possibly the most thought over and revised section of Antenora, and now I'm not even really happy with it. That said, I still felt compelled to post it and share it with you, if merely to offer some form of closure to the story. For those of you who were satisfied with the last chapter as an ending, I would advise stopping here, for those who wanted something more, continue. Ultimately it is up to you, the reader, to make your own choice. I will say that Ichimaru and possibly Kira, descend into realms one might call out of character, but in a sense this is not entirely true, because this is the character I wrote them with all along, it is only now that the entirety of the character is being revealed. One might say it's like peeling away the skin, their actions, to reveal the heart of the matter, their motives. These are the characters as I see them - I hope I do not offend too much.
A biggest thank you for all those who have reviewed, favourited, alerted, or read this story. You are the people who have made this story a joy and a pleasure to post on this site. It has been one heck of a ride finishing my first complete fanfiction. Changing the status of this story from in progress, to complete, was a heady experience, and it was all thanks to you. Without further ado, I present the last chapter of Antenora Smiles. For the final time, Enjoy!
9/6/09 - I have much to answer for, this last chapter appeared for a few hours and then vanished. Those of you who wondered where it went aren't crazy, I have much explaining to do. I thought long and hard about leaving it up, but I wanted to take it down as I tweaked it a bit. The tweaking is done, not perfect, but better. The chapter still isn't done, rather I am writing another section that goes over these events from Ichimaru Gin's POV. This sections will be the last of this story, and hopefully a stronger ending than the one below, offering more closure and explanation. Sorry of all the mess, this is a story about Ichimaru Gin afterall he tends to like to throw a spanner in the works.
Antenora Smiles
Interlude, Part II.
Kira stood at the window, watching the empty fountain fill with dusk. Lamps burned on the edges of the courtyard, but very little of their light made it into his room. In his hands he held the leather bound book, knuckles white. Over the edges of the 3rd squad barracks the moon was rising, a giant full orb. It looked down on the Seireitei with an unreadable expression; Kira thought that it might have been sad, disapproving at the least.
Emotions had long since left him, leaving an empty void where his heart once had lived. The pain was distant now, no longer acute. Kira was almost surprised to feel a tear roll down his cheek; he thought he had shed them all long ago.
"Lieutenant Kira, it's time," a forgettable member of the squad informed him from the doorway. "They're headed up to Soukyoku Hill now."
"Thank you," he responded automatically. He heard the man walk away, no doubt to join the rest of the squad.
"Ichimaru Gin, why did you do this to me? Why did you make me love you?" he asked the night, "Why?" Turning from the window, Kira tossed the book on the low bed, and gathered up Wabisuke, sliding it home in its sheath. The question echoed openly around the empty room, mocking him. He had assumed for brief periods that he had known the answer, but time had again and again proved him wrong on all counts. He was a puppet, yes, and a plaything, but also something more. If Ichimaru had a heart, had been human, Kira would have called it distant affection, or just another part of the game. Yet Ichimaru refused to fall into any human categories, so he was left clueless. The man followed rules unto himself; he had proved it countless times to Kira. So the question was left in the night to join the empty queries of the owls, both doomed to remain unanswered.
He strode out into the courtyard and leapt into the night sky, heading for the blazing fires on top of Soukyoku Hill. In moments, he reached the edge of the plain. Head bowed, he approached the gathered squads; the entire thirteen court guard had turned out for the event. It was the final act in the war against Aizen, the execution of the last traitor to the Soul Society, Ichimaru Gin.
The chattering voices sounded happy, laughter even pierced the dark, contrasting sharply with Kira's own feelings. He sidled through the crowd, taking his place among the lieutenants and captains. They stood in a loose circle, open at one side on a path that led to the tower of penitence. In the center of a circle a black scythe stood alone, rising up from the earth like a hand of death. Kira couldn't force himself to acknowledge it, or the looks of pity that the others cast him.
A hush fell over the gathered, spreading out until it engulfed the entirety of the Seireitei and the night beyond. Four black clad figures with their faces covered escorted a fifth, clad in a simple white robe, down the open path. Ichimaru still smiled mockingly at life, proud even with bound hands and a collar around his neck. Behind the group walked a solitary man, hulking and wearing black, face also covered. His hands were empty.
Entering the circle of captains, Ichimaru surveyed the crowd. In a clear voice he spoke, "Making a celebration out of my death? I can't say I blame you."
The gathered shinigami shifted uncomfortably and the silence sank even deeper. Kira's heart fluttered at hearing the familiar voice. His eyes drank in Ichimaru's figure, trying to memorize it. Three years had not changed it much, a little leaner, but the same lines ran along the slender form. Time had not blurred Kira's memory in the slightest.
The deep voice of Captain Yamamoto charged the air, "Ichimaru Gin, the Central 46 has sentenced you to death on this night for your actions against the Soul Society. Do you have any last words?"
The four escorts forced a still smiling Ichimaru to his knees. He shrugged, unconcerned, "What do you want me to say? I'm guilty aren't I, not much else matters."
Kira felt his heart twist at the words; it was slowly splintering into small crystal fragments, which threatened to stop his veins as the shards pulsed painfully through his body. He wished Ichimaru would deny it; offer some resistance to his fate. Why wasn't he fighting? Tears tracked unnoticed down his face. Helpless to stop himself he shouted, "Captain!"
For the first time, the smile froze on Ichimaru's face, looking straight ahead he said, "I'm not your captain anymore Kira."
The assembled began to mutter darkly, several of the captains looked horrified at Kira's outburst. Kira ignored them all; he broke through the circle, only to be stopped by one of the four guards. He struggled fruitlessly against the guard, all the while eyes locked on Ichimaru's face, looking for any hint there, but Ichimaru was impassive, and Kira remained unable to read him.
Ichimaru addressed Yamamoto without looking in Kira's direction, "Please excuse my former lieutenant. He must feel some responsibility for my betrayal."
"Enough!" Captain Yamamoto roared, "Lieutenant Kira, return to the circle so the execution may begin. Or I will be forced to execute you as well."
"No!" Kira stopped struggling, held securely by the black clad guard, tears pouring down his face. "You'll always be my captain!" he sobbed. Gasps rose from the ranks. The guard holding Kira shoved him backwards, away from Ichimaru. He stumbled, catching himself and drew Wabisuke, the blade gleamed in the torchlight. Madness also gleamed in his eyes; he could feel it rising from deep within him. If his captain wasn't going to fight for his life, Kira would.
Ichimaru whipped his head to gaze at Kira, smile fracturing and falling away. Red eyes were open wide. "Izuru, don't!"
"Then why – why did you make me love you?" Kira howled, clutching Wabisuke like a lifeline. The unanswered question thrummed through his blood, crying out for a solution, some answer. He couldn't think beyond it.
Everything froze; Kira only had eyes for Ichimaru, who knelt, bound on the hard earth. Pure, raw emotion etched each of their faces, and Kira could read Ichimaru's expression for the first time, a deep abiding sorrow. Ichimaru locked eyes with Kira, "So you never figured it out?"
"No."
The guard that had grappled with Kira drew his own sword, moving between Kira and Ichimaru. "Please put down your blade Lieutenant."
Kira lunged at him, wildly swinging Wabisuke. He would not loose his captain, not when he stood so close. The guard was forced back under his frenzied attack. In the background he could hear Yamamoto yell at him, "Lieutenant Kira Izuru, stop this at once!"
Kira didn't stop his attack; he was captivated by the dance of the swords before him. "You won't take him away from me!"
"Then you force me to do this," Yamamoto voice rolled over the ranks of shinigami, "Kira Izuru, I hereby declare you traitor to the Soul Society."
The four guards moved in unison, descending on the crazed blonde. He fought off the flurry of blows, releasing Wabisuke as he fought. He could see nothing beyond the net of steel, but he fought with the blade desperation forged beyond breaking. The swords of the black clad shinigami slowed as they exchanged blows, their swords grew heavier. He fought his way closer to Ichimaru. The fifth man, unnoticed, pulled the scythe from the ground. Silently he approached Kira's back, swinging the scythe to strike.
"Izuru! Behind you!" Ichimaru cried, but it was already too late, the black blade was descending, too fast for him to spin and block. Time seemed to slow, crafted into heavy molasses. Kira turned, slowly, to see the oncoming blade. Fear shone in his eyes, his mouth forming unheard words. His life was about to end and all he could do was watch the scythe descend. Ichimaru, feet away from the attacker stirred, faster than thought he moved into the path of the blade. It sank into his abdomen, tearing through organs until it exited in a spray of blood.
Kira screamed as Ichimaru crumpled, white robe turning crimson. Fury and madness receded in his eyes until crushing sorrow sent him to his knees. He refused to acknowledge the scene in front of him. Ichimaru gasped on the ground, not even trying to stem the flow of blood seeping from his ruined chest. The guards didn't press the advantage, backing to a distance. Kira crawled over to the fallen Ichimaru, pulling him up into his lap. He cradled his captain's head, sobbing. "Why?"
Ichimaru coughed weakly, fingers digging into the dirt in a spasm of pain. The sardonic smile flitted over his face, but the red eyes remained visible. "You know the reason why."
"No, Captain, I don't." Kira could feel tears' warm wetness flooding down his face; shining drops that fell on Ichimaru's pale face.
Ichimaru raised a feeble hand to Kira's cheek, cupping it in cold fingers. "Kiss me."
"Captain…," Kira questioned, anguish and confusion marring his brow.
Pain turned Ichimaru's face into a snarl, "Dammit Izuru! Kiss me!"
Kira lowered his lips to the blood stained lips of his captain. They met, one on the edge of death, the other in life, in a gentle kiss. Kira lingered, carefully memorizing the feel of the dry lips. Finally, he pulled away, silent diamonds wetting his face. "You love me."
Ichimaru smiled, a true smile, unfilled with pain or mockery. "Yes," he sighed, "I love you."
"When…?" Kira sobbed, gracelessly wiping his eyes with a hand. He couldn't finish the sentence, but Ichimaru understood.
"You were supposed to be a toy," Ichimaru stroked Kira's cheek with a bloody hand before letting it drop to his side, "but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you; the toy that refused to break no matter what I did to it."
"When I-I said I loved you…you couldn't stand it." Kira laughed, a hysterical edge to it. The truth he had sought had existed all along, only he had thought it a deluded lie of his heart. Now the puzzle was solved, but the universe in which it existed was rapidly vanishing with every beat of Ichimaru's faltering heart.
"I couldn't believe that you really loved me…after what I had done..." Ichimaru coughed, bringing up nothing but blood. His lips reformed into a red tinged smile. "…People like me aren't supposed to be loved. When you said that I - I wanted to crush those feelings that night. I thrive on spilt blood, something of creation - something like love - shouldn't be wasted on me." He paused, his breath growing weaker. Finally, when Kira thought that he had ceased altogether to breathe, he whispered in a fractured voice, "Live on...find someone who can tell you those words without death's goad…do that for me, Izuru…"
"But I-I love you." Kira repeated, hoping somehow that the worlds could anchor his captain to this world, but it was already too late. Ichimaru's eyes had slipped closed, smiling still. Kira hugged his thin body; felt the heart shudder and then stop. His captain was dead.
A thin keening escaped him; he rocked the limp body, kissing the face. Disregarding the silent onlookers he stood, Ichimaru still cradled against his chest. He could hardly see through the tears, head bowed, he spoke to no one, and to all, "I can see the horror in your eyes, the pity, and the disgust. To you Ichimaru Gin was nothing but a traitor, a man who turned his back on the Soul Society, a man who caused hundreds to die. But you only see what you want to see."
"Ichimaru Gin was a man crafted by your own hands, a true reflection of the corruption in your hearts. Yet I loved him-" Kira's voice hitched as he stared down at the slack face of the man in his arms. No one interrupted, or even moved as he continued, "I loved him despite all he was and did. I would have died for him, but it was my captain who gave his life for me." He glanced up, something indefinable burning in the window of his eyes. "Remember him. Remember the man you shaped. Let it teach you something about the darkness of your hearts. I only hope, knowing what you are, knowing what you have done, that someone can still love you as I loved him."
Deliberately he walked to the outer edge of the circle of open space, a path formed before him as the squads shuffled back, too ashamed to look at the burdened lieutenant. Tears running down his face and bearing the body of his love, Kira Izuru walked out of the annals of the Soul Society and into the night.
F/N: Encouragement or critique is appreciated. Thank you.