It was dark. Why was it dark? Something was wrong. He didn't feel right. He felt terrible. Muzzy and thirsty and exhausted as if he had cried himself to sleep.
Ziva!
Had she been shot? No he had seen her. Had he or was he just dreaming? Was he now lying on his bed at home in his apartment in shock over another death? Was that why his chest hurt and felt so tight?
His thoughts seem to dart and disappear like silver fish in a rippling pond as he reached for them trying to make sense of his world.
No! She was all right. She had leaned over him with her fall of dark hair and he had smelt her shampoo. She had looked like an angel with bright light all around her. An angel trying to say something to him, crying.
No Ziva, don't be dead! Tim didn't want to open his eyes if it meant facing such a truth as he slowly, painfully regained consciousness.
No Ziva! Run!
He's above you!
I'm coming!
"Something's wrong! " Abby stood beside McGee's bed and watched as his heart rate monitor which had been consistently beeping away suddenly leaped, increased its rate and became irregular.
Abby felt the panic again she had experienced when she had first walked into the room and saw him lying there so pale and still. She hadn't realized just how alive and vibrant he was normally until that instant. How mobile his face usually was and full of quirky smiles and frowns and puzzlements.
He just looked wrong as if all his bright McGeeness had been sucked out of him by the awful machines he was attached to.
Suddenly McGee gasped in a deep breath and flashed opened his bright eyes.
"Ziva!"
A nurse hurried in responding to the machines call and started speaking to him gently but firmly while holding his shoulder.
"Agent McGee? You were shot and you are in Bethesda Navel Hospital. You are going to be fine. You have come out of surgery but I need for you to calm down. Take a deep breath…. Yes that's right in and out. Lay back down and relax that's right"
She continued talking as McGee's eyes darted around the room searching for something. Gibbs suddenly realized and stepped in close to the bed so McGee could see him.
"Ziva's fine McGee. She's gone to check on Jethro and she will be back soon."
McGee's voice rasped again through the mask over his face.
"Sniper"
Gibbs smiled "Yes we know. The other team took him out when they heard your shout. I'd say we were all lucky you were with us today McGee."
Gibbs gently squeezed his shoulder "It's good to have you back McGee"
Gibbs felt awash in gratitude that he hadn't pulled McGee away from Cyber Crimes only to die painfully from a shot in the chest. He never wanted to loose a team member again or have to call another family to inform them that their loved one had died under his care.
And this time it would have been his fault.
McGee simply nodded, his eyes already calming with the alarm of the last few minutes slipping away. He turned his head and smiled at the woman who was desperately trying not to lunge at him and wrap him in a hug and instead was painfully wringing his hand.
"Abby" His familiar voice was soft and gravelly as if he wasn't sure how to use it anymore.
Abby who had been convinced that she had actually become incapable of anymore crying after the last few hours promptly burst into tears as she stared into his big green eyes which now seemed huge and brilliant over the macabre oxygen mask.
So close. She had come so close to loosing him for good. What could she possibly say?
"Don't you EVER scare me like that again, you hear me Timmy!" Abby choked through her tears trying to sound angry but only succeeding in showing her relief.
Ducky and Palmer all leaned in to reassure with their presence while Abby sniffed for what felt like the thousandth time and patted McGee's arm reassuringly. She couldn't seem to stop touching him, wanting to make sure that he still felt warm under her fingertips. He was hers again. How dare he go and get himself hurt? She hadn't given him permission to do that. Even if he was trying to be brave.
"Don't worry Tony's going to be here too. Any minute. He was really worried about you. Not that he will tell you that. He went with Ziva but they'll be back soon. And when you are up for it I think we are all going to be having a big chat about a certain Special Agent marrying a certain Liaison Officer?"
Tim nodded silently as a tiny unspoken unimagined hope slipped away. Ziva was always with Tony. Tony would look after her. They were partners.
Ziva needed someone strong and brave to look after her. Someone like Tony.
Tim gently returned some of Abby's grip on his hand and she beamed that bright smile that had once meant the world to him.
The tears had turned her mascara clad eyes into a sort of smeared supernova of grief.
When it really counted Abby was always there for him.
She loved him.
Tim felt himself surrendering in exhaustion to the gentle darkness with the warm touch of her hand in his and the scent of gun powder and roses in the air.