Tony sat on the couch for a long time, not knowing what to do or where to go. He supposed he should return to the little room he'd rented in a ragged building down the street, but for the moment he couldn't even remember where that was. She'd kissed him. Wait. Maybe he'd kissed her. He didn't know, but it didn't matter. They'd done it together. It had been a chaste kiss. Their lips had barely even touched, really, and it had only been for a second. Not even when they'd first started dating had they kissed like that. He allowed himself a pained smile. None of their kisses then had been chaste.

He understood that, after they'd both endured the tale of Mason's birth, she had been in a state of agony. She hadn't known what to do. He understood. After hearing her story, he had had to clench his own muscles to keep them from allowing his arms to reach out for her. He'd had to resist pulling her against him, cradling her, touching his lips to whatever part of her was nearest. He had to prevent himself from doing what felt so natural at such a time. She in turn, had experienced once again all the emotions she'd felt from that day more than five years ago. Fear, pain, excitement, despair, loneliness. She kissed him the way they would have had Tony been by her side when Mason had come into the world. She kissed him in a way that would have celebrated their new born child. It had been gentle, exhausted and fleeting, but it had happened.

Tony looked through the album, trying to settle on a photo. He didn't care that Michelle had specified it to be just of Mason. He needed her in it. He took one of them together, a recent one, on Mason's first day of school at the school gates. Then he took the photo from his birth and stored them both in his pocket. He went down to an all night convenience store and had them both copied. He then brought the originals back and slotted them into the album before taking himself back to his rented room for the night.

He lay awake for hours, thinking. He realised that, despite her wishes to keep him and Mason apart, he owed her so much. She had brought life to their tiny child at a time when she was lost and alone. She had moved from country to country with him as an infant, something he imagined would have been impossibly draining and frustrating even without the added distress of people following her. She had taken care of him, had clothed him, fed him, kept him from danger, loved him and how? With what money? With what support? With what promise that things would one day be alright? She wouldn't have known then, as she toted a needy toddler from place to place, that things would settle down eventually. Her life would have been madness. It would have been lonely, and isolating and stressful. But she'd done it.

Then, she'd spent the last few years carefully crafting a life for him in a stable, loving environment. She'd bonded with him, she'd taught him he was safe with her, that there was nothing to be afraid of. Tony rubbed his eyes roughly. He couldn't fathom what she'd been through. He couldn't see how she'd done it, how she'd come out the end of it all, how she'd pulled it off so well. She'd struggled with money – was still struggling with money – and had neglected herself and her own needs for so long. He owed her his child's life, his child's happiness and health. He imagined how she saw it. To her, he had just blown in and demanded to be given access to their child after she'd done everything on her own. He throbbed with shame, with guilt. And where had he been? Running around with Emerson's men, feeling vilified by the government as he lamented in his losses, feeling furious and sorry for himself. Of course, had he known the truth about her, he would have been there. He wouldn't have let her or their son out of his sight, would have shared every trial and tribulation of parenthood with her right from his conception to now. It wasn't his fault or hers that he'd not been there, but still, the things he demanded of her now were inexcusable. The stress he was adding to her life, after she'd tolerated so much already, made him feel despicable, and even worse than that, he had no idea how to fix it.

The next morning, while at work, Michelle received a text message. I'll pick him up today, it read. She tapped her thumb against the side of her phone for a moment. Well, she thought, at least that would make Mason happy. Whether they were getting along every night or not, Mason had grown used to Tony's presence. He had starting asking for him when he wasn't there, so a surprise appearance after school was sure to thrill him. Michelle imagined sweets or ice cream factoring into the afternoon, and for some reason didn't feel quite so threatened as usual. She also knew that Mason wouldn't get upset this time. Tony was becoming a trusted friend, an adult who, when Michelle wasn't around, was the person Mason had started looking to for authority and guidance.

After a moment, Michelle returned her own message to him, something she hadn't done before.

Will you stay with him for the afternoon?

The reply came through quickly.

Why?

She knew that Tony would have stayed with him anyway, and that the message was merely curious. Michelle wondered for a moment if she should feel embarrassed or guilty over what she was about to write, but the truth was that she was quite desperate to grab a few new things for herself – all on sale, if she could manage it – and to see to some long overdue concerns, and this might be her only opportunity for a while. When she wasn't at work, her evenings and weekends were about Mason, and she rarely got even a few minutes to herself anymore.

I might be later than usual. If you're going to stay with him I can take care of some things before I get home.

Some things?

A doctor's appointment.

What's wrong?

Nothing. Just a routine appointment. And I might go shopping quickly, if time permits. Do you mind?

It took quite some time before the phone displayed a new message.

Of course not, it read. Take as long as you want.

It was dinnertime when Michelle arrived home to cheering inside her living room. Mason was jumping up and down on the couch, a kid's sized baseball bat swinging wildly in his hands. Tony was throwing a soft, squishy version of a baseball to him, and Mason seemed to be getting fairly skilled at hitting it back across the room. The TV was on in the background, Ben Ten featuring loudly. Michelle noticed the living room looked a little wilder than usual, and that some things were out of place. She wondered how many times the lamp had been knocked off the table by the door and how many books had been dislodged from the mantel and quickly replaced.

'Mum!' Mason said breathlessly as she closed the door behind her. 'Look what Tony got me.'

He held the bat up high in the air, nearly taking out the light bulb above him.

'And the ball,' he said, waving the bat at Tony. Tony held the ball up so Michelle could see. 'And this Blue Jays hat.'

Michelle blinked at the cap sitting low on her sons head. It was a too big, but he shucked it back from his eyes and grinned toothlessly. Michelle realised she only felt a twinge of irritation, instead of a crashing wave of it.

'Hi sweetheart,' she said. 'They're lovely. Did...did you thank Tony?'

'Yes,' Mason said. 'He made me.'

Michelle suppressed a smile. Another man would've let the manners thing go, too concerned with keeping the child happy to make a point. Tony was different though. Mason could have things so long as lessons - lessons that were important to Tony - were learned at the same time.

'Where've you been?' Mason asked.

'Shopping,' Michelle said with a demure smile. She showed him the bags in her hands. 'I'll go put these down and I'll be right back, okay?'

Mason nodded and turned back to Tony, one eye on the ball, the other on the TV. Michelle followed the corridor to her room, where she sat on the bed for a long moment, kicking off her shoes and rubbing the soles of her feet. She laid her new clothes out on the bed and looked over them, glad to have made the time to get them. She rubbed her neck for a few minutes, feeling tired, and let her hair loose from the clip at the base of her neck. She got up, pulled off her jacket and hung it up. She unbuttoned her blouse and placed it in a drawer. Just as she was moving around the room to find a soft sweater she noticed movement at the half closed door. Tony stood at the threshold, his face slightly uncomfortable, and he looked down at the floor.

'Sorry,' he said huskily. Michelle just stood where she was by the bed, in only her black skirt and a bra, a practical white thing beautified with a small amount of lace. She felt her face flush and her heart beat fiercely. She wanted to cover herself with her arms or turn away from him but for some reason the idea felt foolish. It would have shown, quite clearly, that she was afraid of him, shy around him, that he made her nervous.

'I...ah,' he muttered. He looked just as he had when she'd slapped him two weeks ago. 'You were taking your time and I just wondered...what do you want for dinner? Mason doesn't know, and I don't mind cooking something specific...if there is something you want.'

He lifted his gaze and found her again, standing where she was when he'd glimpsed her for a few brief seconds before she knew he was there. With so much skin on display, skin he'd spent years laving and nuzzling and caressing, he'd felt all his self control abandon him. Now, it was only her glare, half defiant, half nervous, that deterred him from coming closer.

'N-no,' she murmured. 'There's nothing specific. I d-don't mind.'

She looked so strangely elegant standing there, her shoulders bare, her back straight. The white lace contrasted with the no-nonsense black skirt, and the effect was dazzling. He hadn't taken his eyes from her, and they ran the length of her body several times. Then he found himself squinting through the soft light of her bedside lamp.

'Michelle,' he uttered, taking a step forward. Across her stomach, up over her chest and along her arms were scars. They were thin, and had healed well, and at first glance they were almost unnoticeable. For the first time, the true horror of Michelle's torture struck him. They had cut into his pregnant wife, they'd made her writhe in agony, and now, standing across from her, he wasn't sure he could handle looking at the marks that lingered from those weeks of her life.

'They did that to you?' he asked quietly. Michelle ran her fingers over her ribcage, feeling the raised, damaged lines of flesh.

'It was years ago,' she said, just as softly. 'I forget I have them.'

Tony seemed unable to move.

'It's alright,' Michelle said. Her voice was reassuring. It was without its usual traces of animosity, devoid of anger. It was a voice made only to soothe. 'It's alright. They aren't painful or anything.'

'But they were once,' he said lowly. Michelle gave a tiny one shouldered shrug. She still hadn't moved.

Tony allowed himself to rake his gaze over her again. He suddenly began feeling ravenous and animalistic, need rushing through his blood. The scars upset him, distressed him, really, but he couldn't ignore the fact that his wife was standing there, displayed for him to take in. Her curls framed her face, her eyes were bright, and her breasts lifted with each intake of breath. He wanted to sink into her, wanted to claim, wanted to hold her, trapped, against him.

'What's Mason doing?' she eventually asked. Her voice was slightly breathless. Tony wasn't sure if he should read into the fact that she hadn't covered up yet, or turned away.

'Cartoons,' he gritted out. He felt as though his shoes had been super-glued to the carpeted floor. Michelle chewed her top lip for a moment.

'You should go watch him,' she whispered. Still, Tony didn't move. Michelle suddenly felt vile. She couldn't do this with him. She couldn't let herself feel so much desire for him, or allow him to look over her body with such hunger in his eyes. The kiss last night was still lingering on her lips. What a foolish, emotional move it had been. She knew that, in the moment, she had needed to do it, but the regret of it had sat with her all day. She hated him. She detested him. She couldn't stand to have him near her like this.

'Close the door,' she said, her voice firm again. 'I don't want you in my room.'

Ten minutes later she entered the kitchen. Mason was sitting on the counter top, watching Tony stir soup in a pot on the stove, his feet swinging against the cabinets below him. The baseball bat was still in his hands.

'– and then Mrs Marlow told us all to stand along the stage and say our lines out...but I forgot mine,' he was saying, looking forlorn, 'It was the worst. I thought for ages but...I don't know... I just couldn't remember what I was meant to say.'

'Pfft,' Tony said, looking down at him. 'That's what rehearsals are for. You're meant to make mistakes in rehearsals.'

'But...no, I don't think so...' Mason deliberated. 'Everyone laughed at me. Why would they if I was meant to make a mistake?'

Tony tossed some finely chopped coriander into the pot.

'Because you're funny,' he said generously. 'You do things that make people laugh and people really like that. People always want to be friends with funny people.'

'I guess so,' Mason said, looking appreciatively at Tony, his face glowing at the compliment.

'And anyway,' Tony continued, 'you made your mistake during rehearsal when it doesn't matter. They're going to make their mistakes on the night in front of everyone. Maybe you can have a quiet laugh at them then, to make it even.'

Michelle cleared her throat. She wasn't certain Tony's logic was the right thing to be instilling in Mason. Tony glanced at her briefly, noting her disapproval but choosing not to retract his advice.

'Okay,' Mason said, looking consoled. He watched Tony's every move from his place on the counter, his eyes gleaming with admiration. 'As long I do get to laugh at them.'

'You will,' Tony said, taking him under the arms and placing him on the ground. 'You want the red bowl or the cars one?'

'The red one,' Mason said, staying close to him.

'Okay, go and have a seat.'

Mason looked as though he didn't want to leave Tony's side, but did as he asked and made toward the table. Michelle sat with him. He barely looked at her. She gazed at him, and reached out to bring order to his curls.

'You haven't hugged me today,' she informed him quietly, feeling ridiculously sad about it. Mason looked as though he hadn't realised.

'Sorry,' he said genuinely, slipping off the seat and leaning into a quick cuddle. Tony caught them in the act as he brought their food over. Michelle hadn't wanted him to see, and she quickly pressed Mason back into his chair.

Tony set both the bowls on the table and went to get his own, looking pensive.

Mason rocked slightly in his chair.

'Can't I start yet?' he asked, checking that Michelle was seated and looking impatiently at Tony for his permission.

No one said anything for a moment. Tony was watching Michelle closely over the table and she, in turn, was busying herself with a napkin, hoping her gloom at being forgotten by her son wasn't too evident.

'Kay, well I'm starting,' Mason decided, dipping his spoon into his soup.

'NO!' Tony suddenly bellowed at him, his voice shocking and scary. Mason jumped, and his spoon clattered to the floor, soup spilling everywhere. Michelle froze at his truly alarming tone. 'WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU?'

Mason looked paralysed in his chair, staring, open mouthed and wide eyed at Tony. He actually seemed to be trembling. He'd never been screamed at before in his life, let alone screamed at by someone as intimidating at Tony.

'You will not start until your mother starts,' Tony snarled at him. Mason seemed petrified, his eyes filling with tears, his mouth gasping for air. He could not understand what was happening. Eventually, he shrunk away from his father.

'M-m-mum,' he choked. He fell out of his chair and buried himself into Michelle's arms. He clung to her, terrified. 'M-Mum,' he sobbed again. It was as though he couldn't get enough air, as though his lungs had seized up. Michelle was staring, horrified, at Tony.

'Mum, I wanna go to b-bed,' Mason bawled. 'I wanna go to b-bed now.'

Michelle held him tightly, and Tony watched on, his face inexpressive. For a moment, Michelle felt her insecurities leave her. Mason was curled up in her arms, begging for her to take him away from Tony. She felt validated, felt as though she'd won something. Tony could give him things and get his attention with games, but at the end of the day, Michelle was the person he wanted most, the person he went to for comfort, the person he felt safest with.

'Please mum,' he begged. 'Please take me to bed.'

'It's alright, Mason,' she told him. 'It's alright. I'm here. We can go now.'

'Will you stay with me?' Mason pleaded, as she carried him to her room. 'P-please stay with me.'

'I will,' she said, her fingers dancing across his back. 'It's alright. Everything is alright.'

It took a considerable amount of time to calm Mason down after Tony's outburst. It seemed he was deeply terrified, but Michelle managed to pacify him, and by the time Mason was nodding off he seemed almost content once more. He had held her for a long time, weeping into her shoulder, his hands in her hair. Michelle cradled him tenderly, glad that he was back in her arms despite the awful reason for it. She watched him sleep for a moment before she shut his door and stormed back into the kitchen.

'What was that?' she hissed. 'What was that about?'

Tony had mopped up the spilt soup and had taken Mason's bowl away. He was washing it in the sink.

'He has to learn,' he said offhandedly.

Michelle felt as though she was missing something. One moment, Tony had been reassuring Mason, the next he had screamed at him. She couldn't understand what was wrong with him.

'Not by yelling in his face,' she said angrily. 'Not by scarring him! He's not going to trust you now, is he? You've effectively just cancelled out whatever progress you've made with him.'

Tony shrugged.

'I got through to him, at least,' he said calmly.

Michelle collapsed back into her chair where her portion of soup was waiting for her. Just for something to do she took a sip from her spoon. Tony sat opposite and began eating.

After a few mouthfuls, Michelle looked at him thoughtfully. She'd been trying to understand the reason for his loss of temper at his son when something occurred to her. Everything had been fine before he'd seen her demand a hug from Mason. She'd been feeling so redundant in that moment, and she had a feeling Tony had realised that. Had he terrified their son and ruined the bond he'd been building with him just to drive him back to Michelle? Just to reaffirm her status in his life? Had he done it just to repair her hurt feelings, to make her feel important once more?

Michelle worked her way slowly through her soup. It seemed more and more likely that Tony had done it for exactly the reason she suspected, and she felt both grateful to him and sad for him. Grateful because he had tried to do it as surreptitiously as possible, so that Michelle wouldn't realise he'd manufactured the whole event, and sad because he'd come so far with Mason, and he'd just blown it all to make her feel better.

'What was the appointment for?'

Michelle brought herself out of her daze and looked at him. For the first time she realised they were sitting at the table alone, eating dinner together, and it made her feel uneasy.

'Appointment?'

'The doctor's appointment you had today,' Tony reminded her. 'What was it for?'

'Oh,' Michelle murmured. 'Nothing. Just a check up.'

Tony looked at her knowingly, waiting for the real reason. Michelle knew he wouldn't let up.

'It's nothing really,' she forewarned. 'I just have to have some things checked every few months.'

'Some things?'

'Yes. Er...my heart, for one.'

Tony's expression grew incredulous. 'What?' he asked immediately. 'What's wrong with your heart?'

'Well, nothing,' Michelle said. 'Not yet, at least.'

Tony hadn't changed his incredulous look. Michelle sighed.

'Between the bomb and the torture – though mostly just the torture – my heart was put under a lot of strain,' she told him. 'It experienced a lot of trauma. Apparently it's not as strong as it was, and the tests are just to check that it continues to function as normal. Just to see that there aren't any problems that need immediate attention.'

Tony was now looking at her with a very strange expression, one she couldn't read.

'So...so what's gonna happen?' he asked cautiously, as though he didn't want to know the answer.

'Nothing,' Michelle said honestly. 'It's not so much now that the doctors are concerned about. It's when I'm an old woman that it'll probably give me problems. They're just keeping an eye on it. I can still exercise, still go jogging. They encourage it, in fact, though I hardly ever get the time. It's not a big problem and the appointments are more just a preventative measure for the problems that can come up years down the track. Like I said, nothing is wrong. It's just something I need to be mindful of.'

Tony nodded, feeling at ease and anxious at the same time. Michelle had a heart condition? All things considered, a slightly weaker heart wasn't the worst thing she could have come away with, especially if it wasn't due to cause her problems for several decades. Still, it scared the shit out of him.

'You yelled at him for me, didn't you?' she said after another mouthful. 'To scare him back to me.'

Tony stared at his bowl for a few seconds. He'd long since finished his soup.

'I'd better go,' he said eventually, getting to his feet. 'See you tomorrow.'

Like it? Hate it? Opium is amazing, but you don't have to xx