Hey there!
If you didn't notice, I fell off the earth for awhile.
But, good news! By tying together all of my to-do lists and homework from the past month or so, I constructed a rope, made my way back home, and wrote you this.
The next chapter isn't too far away.
Thank goodness for Spring Break!
And, thank goodness for Tuesday! Out of Sight Out of Time - can't freaking wait!
But, for now.
Here's Entry 10.
In the report she left before she ran, Cam made a lot of lists.
About almost everything.
I guess that's how she dealt with things.
It's a little bit psycho if you ask me.
But, at this point in time.
I guess the only way to explain what happened next is through a list.
Because, a list puts things in order.
It puts things in perspective.
Even if no one around here is sane enough to have any.
And although I may not ever live this down.
This one's for you, Gallagher Girl.
Pros and Cons of Being Knocked Out
A list by Zach Goode
PRO: If you're knocked out pretty good the stabbing pain in your side goes away. At least for a little while.
CON: You'll eventually wake up. And, when you wake up, not only does that stabbing pain come back, but, congratulations, you also have a brand new head ache.
PRO: Eventually waking up, pain or no pain, means waking up.
Meaning, after all of this chaos, you're actually alive.
CON: Waking up alive doesn't always mean she's ever going to get to do the same.
PRO: Considering the pounding in your head, the sensation of burning flesh at your side, and the issue of getting your eyes to open, you may be able to forget about that fact that she'll never wake up. Even if it is only for thirty seconds tops.
CON: I don't care who you think you are. There's absolutely no way to control where much less when you're going to wake up.
PRO: The odds of waking up during the middle of some confidential conversation that relies on the fact that you are still knocked out and cannot see and/or hear – those odds are in your favor. Which always makes things more interesting.
CON: Confidential conversations in this business are kept confidential for a reason. Reasons you really aren't meant ever know.
PRO: Just because you aren't meant to know. Doesn't mean anyone's going to stop you from eavesdroppng. Not when they don't know you're listening.
CON: Although we may do it for a living. Eavesdropping is frowned upon in good society for a reason. Because sometimes you're better off not knowing.
Sometimes, though you may have the right to know,
you're better off never hearing anything at all.
Because, I'll be the first to admit that things got out of control.
PRO: Gallagher Girl wasn't there to see it. Any of it.
"You should be in bed."
Abby's voice was the first one I heard.
It seemed distant, and faded.
And, I couldn't decide at that point if that was because I was just now waking up, and the world was still hazy, or that Abby Cameron hadn't fully survived the Circle.
Honestly, I can't decide if any of us did.
My head throbbed.
My eyes wouldn't open.
But, I could tell I was in the same place.
The coarse sheets underneath my fingers were the same.
The stale smell of the room was still there.
And, considering the voices were coming from the direction the door of the room would be
told me that Joe and Abby had turned me over and left me where I was.
And, they had left the door cracked.
"Really, Joe, you're only going to hurt yourself."
There was a creek of a floorboard.
Then a beat of silence.
"I feel fine." Joe spoke.
"You're not even allowed to be out of that wheel chair,"
Abby's voice skimmed past my door,
"Much less walking around in the middle of the night not sleeping."
"Why are you up?" He said, changing the subject.
"I want to see her."
"I wouldn't go in there."
"Have you seen her?"
"No."
"Joe, don't lie to m-"
"I'm not."
There was another beat.
And, I remember right then my brain started working.
Started listening, started analyzing.
"Do you know anything?" She said.
"I know the doctor came back a couple hours ago."
"And…"
"He casted up Rachel's arm, gave me some pain pills…"
"And…"
There was a beat. I heard Joe struggle to laugh.
But, it turned out sounding dark, brutal.
"You're just like her, you know. She would never accept the fact that there's no more information to give." His voice rose, "I don't have all of the answers, Abby"
Right then was when I swear I could almost feel eyes on my door.
And, Joe's voice immediately softened.
"Zach's out cold. He won't hear."
"So, then tell me what you know." Abby fought.
There was a moment of decision.
And, with it, my eyes shot open.
Once I realized they weren't talking about Rachel.
Once I realized they were never talking about Rachel.
"What. Do. You, Know." She demanded.
Her tone must have been nearly lethal.
Those words must have had a lot of power.
Because, Joe Solomon was suddenly very quick to give an answer.
All of the sudden, Joe Solomon was inclined to tell the truth.
"All I know is that she's not dead." He said, "Yet."
And, that's when the screaming started again.