The next day Tommy had a cast on his hand. Unfortunately, his other hand was holding that of an unknown hussy. Why is it that every time he gets in an argument with me the next day he's with some girl I've never seen before? He did the same thing when him and Sadie broke up. It's almost like he's saying, "See I can get anyone I want!" Bastard. I chose to ignore it and scooted past them on my way to talk to Jamie and Spiederman. I could feel Tommy's eyes burning the back of my head.
"How are my two favorite guys?" I asked cheerfully.
"Who? Me?" said Jamie, looking around. I laughed and nudged him gently with my elbow.
"We're discussing the pros and cons of being a Nofx fan. So far we've got 8 pros and no cons. Care to weigh in?" Speed asked
"Can't think of any cons myself. Any self respecting music fan has a copy of Punk In Drublic on vinyl." I answered.
"I know, right?" We all smiled and continued talking music but I can't say I was really paying attention. I was watching Tommy out of the corner of my eye. I thought he'd at least want to talk to me after last night but here I am, making myself totally available for conversation and he couldn't care less. Things really have changed.
I guess Spiederman noticed because he put his arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek. It made me feel really safe and normal. I guess Tommy was watching me after all, because when Speed put his arm around me, he took the random girls hand and led her down the hall. God knows what they'll be doing down there. I couldn't tell if they went into Studio C or the bathroom. Either way it was obvious they went off to be "alone" if you catch my drift.
"Hey, Harrison. You want to go jam?" Speed asked, trying to get my attention onto something else. He had see what I had.
"Sure. I'll meet you in Studio C. Let me get something to eat first." I said, getting up and walking over to the small kitchenette. I dug through the fridge trying to find anything edible. Old Chinese food, dried up fried chicken. Kwest's sandwich fixin's. At least you knew those were fresh cause he ate so many sandwiches that he had to restock his supply of meat and mustard every few days. I made a quick turkey sandwich, cut off the crusts and went hesitantly down the same hall that Tommy and the girl went down. I thought if I sent Speed to studio C on his own if something unsavory was going on it would have stopped several minutes before I was there. Unfortunately they had not gone to Studio C, they had gone into the bathroom. Can you say hella nasty?
I practically sprinted past the bathroom, praying I didn't hear anything. That chick was loud. I almost threw up in my mouth, managed to hold it in, and walked into Studio C looking green. The bathroom actually shares a wall with studio C, and neither is soundproofed. Why does God hate me?
Spiederman looked at me sympathetically.
"Let's have a little fun." he said to me, smiling evilly. He plugged his guitar into the biggest amp and turned it into the shared wall. He flipped the switch to shoot the volume all the way up and started playing the opening chords to "Smells Like Teen Spirit." He cackled wildly as the windows shook. There was no way that Tommy and the girl didn't hear him playing loud and clear. I grinned from ear-to-ear, putting my face in the couch to cover up my laughing, as if anyone could hear me over the racket Speed was making. He was almost done with the song when Tommy and the girl stumbled out of the bathroom. The smile on my face disappeared as Tommy buttoned up his shirt and the girl adjusted her skirt. Why did this have to hurt so bad? Why couldn't I just be in love with Jamie or Speed or anyone else? Tommy made brief eye contact with me as he passed by studio C, there was a ghost of a smirk on his face. I didn't blink. Show no weakness, Harrison! Tommy stopped in front of the doorway, acting completely normal (which was rare lately)
"Jude, we have a session in Studio A now." he said completely expressionless.
"Sure, just a minute." I couldn't think of anything else to say. I felt kind of destroyed at the moment. I think he is better at this than I am. Tommy nodded and walked away, leaving me alone with Speed again.
He sat down on the couch next to me, I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.
"Well, that was fun in a really awful way." he said, trying to bring up my spirits. I kissed him on the cheek.
"You're the best." I smiled and got up off the couch with great difficulty. As I walked out Spiederman stopped me.
"Jude, remember what I said. I could help you." I smiled at him, but didn't really give an answer. I was still thinking it over, trying to come up with my next move, if there was one.
I met Tommy in Studio A about 10 minutes later.
"Nice of you to join me, Harrison." he teased.
"Well, I had nothing better to do..." I said hesitantly. We started working as if everything was normal, completely ignoring the giant pink elephant that was in the room. I was trying to hash out the words to a song but everything I came up with sounded like it was talking directly to Tommy. I didn't want to be THAT obvious and pathetic.
"I'm stuck, Tom," I told him, "I've got nothing left." He walked over to me and looked like he might give me a hug, but Darius showed up right in the nick of time.
"Jude, our team has just come up with a concept for your new video." Oh, you mean for the song about promiscuity? Lovely.
"D, I don't know if we should do a video for that one." I told him trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation.
"Of course we are! The live version you sang the other night is getting all kinds of radio play. People love the 'New Jude' " Darius said with his persuasive tone. I doubt I really had a choice in this at all. Tommy rolled his eyes.
"What's the concept?" I asked Darius, not really wanting to know the answer.
"You meet a guy at a club, seduce him, bring him home. Simple enough." Darius explained.
Simple enough? Sounded a little familiar to me...not like I could say that to Darius. I could feel Tommy's anxiety level rise and I knew he was thinking the same thing.
"So, who's the guy?" I asked.
"We have to hold auditions. Shouldn't be too hard to find one." he answered.
Then a lightbulb went on in my head.
"What about Spiederman?" I asked, hopefully. "He would do great. Since we're so close it would be less awkward, too." Which was true, but I also knew it would push Tommy's buttons. I heard Tommy choke on his soda in the corner.
Darius looked from me to Tommy and back. He's not an idiot, I'm sure he was wondering what was up. I also knew he must have heard about yesterday, seeing as he hadn't asked Tommy why he had a cast on his hand. He raised his eyebrows at me.
"Really? Well, if that's what you want..." he said skeptically. He gave Tommy a hard look and exited the room.
Tommy looked at me and I couldn't read the expression on his face. "Well, this should be fun." he said.
"Can we just not fight for one day, please? I'm so exhausted, and I'm sure you're...in pain." I nodded to his arm.
"Sure." he said, smiling at me genuinely. "So, Spiederman in your video, huh? You sure he won't get the wrong idea? I mean, you did ask for him."
He never quits poking the bear, does he?
"I think he'll get the right idea." I told Tommy, wanting to remain vague but hinting at something...I guess I would end up involving Speed in this after all.
"What does that mean?" he asked sounding a little possessive.
"Whatever you want it to, Quincy. I told you I'm not arguing with you today, so if you don't mind..." I trailed off. I saw a little gleam in his eye and he came over to stand next to me.
"Jude..." he smiled at me with that Quincy charm, "I don't want to argue either. It's been a rough couple of days for us. Eventually we're gonna have to talk it out, but for now I'm cool with letting bygones be bygones. What do you say?" I was looking at the ground, but he bent over to make direct eye contact with me, my heart skipped a beat. Damn him. There's something that's so seductive about the thought of just being me again, and Tommy being my friend. Part of me still hates him and the way be plays with my mind. But tomorrow is my video shoot, with Spiederman. The mind games can wait until then.
a/n- ok I was watching season 4 of instant star tonight and i got to "london calling" i hate that episode so much. maybe if they gave the show a season 5 and jude could come back i wouldn't despise it so much...because the Jude we all came to know and love would have never left Tommy like that. who spends 4 years obsessing over somebody just to leave the country as soon as you get them. WTF. ok thanks for reading my rant. i'm gonna go watch a little season 2 (my favorite season) and maybe i'll feel better. anyhoo, i hope yall like this chapter. i found it kind of hard to write. there is something so fun about writing Tommy when he's mad but i felt like i didn't want to do it forever. im going to give them a short break from fighting, throw a few wrenches in the works afterwards and see what happens...kapish? also expect to see more Spiederman. I found myself having a huge fangirl crush on him recently...