Recess: Freshman Year

by Ruff Desperado

TJ went to middle school at Roosevelt County, Spinelli studied aboard in Italy, Vince moved away to Beverly Hills, Gretchen took her education to Oklahoma, whilst Gus and Mikey went to Spiro T Agnew. It is only until Vince surprises TJ with an overdue visit, that TJ's hopes of sharing his high school experiences with his five best friends becomes a reality. **Will randomly edit**

10. Bitchification

Recess High school years

Freshman Year: The retribution of James Stone

By Ruff Desperado aka King James

(Rated T for Teen)

Season 1 Episode 9

Maddie POV

---

"You like him," I tease.

"I do not," replies Spinelli, trying not to smile back or even look at me.

"You'll have to wait in line, though," I say. "The word's out that some girls are deliberately getting detention just so that they can see more of him and make googly eyes."

All the other kids are late to the party. Me, Spinelli, and a few other gooses watch Mr Dude as he walks off, having handled the Menlo situation quite, knight in shining armour-ly. Getting out his way, leaving his boring ritual of grading papers, to help us poor jaywalking damsels in distress. I might as well tease Spinelli about crushing on Mr Dude, instead of asking her how she really feels about TJ. Last thing I wanna do is stir up some closed in feelings she may or may not have, well, for now anyway. I respect it. Maybe I see something, or nothing's there at all.

Girls gotta have a tough exterior for a reason.

Mr Dude walks up till he reaches outside his classroom door. He leans on it facing ahead of us as he's pestered by the love fueled girls who probably have their own fan club dedicated to him by now.

Spinelli shakes her phone. "I think I'm gonna go to the darkroom and process these," Spinelli says, spinning on her heel, going down the hall.

She stops and hangs her head. She walk back towards me, now going the right way. She shies away when Mr Dude notices her.

Troy emerges as he watches Spinelli as she disappears. He's wearing his varsity jacket over his uniform. He walks passed Mr Dude and takes strides along the lockers.

I call him over. "You catch what Mr Dude just did?" I ask him. Troy scowls slightly looking uninterested. "Well, you missed him help us two out anyway. Seems like Spinelli's trying real hard not to make it seem like she's not crushing on him."

"She ain't the only one," Troy says, as he looks back at Mr Dude like he's checking him out.

"Stop it!" I gasp, as I chuckle a little bit. "I've been meaning to ask you to get the jocks together to incorporate in our cheer routine when we, um." I stop. Troy's still looking at Mr Dude and his eyes are still glued on his butt. "Troy, I get it. The joke's kinda dead now."

"What joke?" asks Troy, slowly turning back to me.

"I don't know. Pretending to be gay."

"I'm not pretending."

"You've turned gay? Is that what you're telling me?"

"No. I'm into girls. Anyone really," he says, as he ponders, tilting his eyes up and poking his bottom lip out.

"Oh, 'kay. So, have you ever thought about—?"

"Bonking him?" suggests Troy, with wide eyes. "Deffo."

I slowly take a step back. "Troy, you're not being funny anymore."

"Wait," Troy says, putting his hand up. "Doesn't everyone find anything and anyone boneable to some degree? No matter what that person looks like? Girls to boys to geeks to freaks? Aliens to sapiens?"

I shake my head. "I think you're a pansexual, Troy."

"Labels are for clothes," he huffs, tugging where his jacket's lapels would be. "So, you're telling me I'm pans, you're les and the rest of the group can only get giggidy feels for their gender opposites?"

"That's how it works," I reply.

"Straight people are weird."

"Yeah, weird," I agree, as we walk up the hallway together. "I have to tell Spinelli I'm gay before it gets weird between us."

Troy shifts his eyes and looks away. "I kind of already told her."

"What?" I shout, as people continue to walk around us both.

"Sorry!" wails Troy, as he flinches up, backing away from me with his hands guarding his face. I just stare at him until he begins to loosen up again. "Aren't you gonna release the kraken and whale on me? Call me something? Do anything?"

"No," I say. "It's not like it isn't true."

"It was a secret I guess, but I thought—"

"Huh? I told you because I just realized what I am. You don't always have to insinuate what and what isn't off limits to people," I explain. "So, how did she take it?"

"Surprised, but she's cool with it," says Troy, as we continue to walk together. "I think."

---

My cheer leading crew are outside on the grass in front of the bleachers. They're all huddled together and all of them seem hyped up talking about something or someone. Whatever it is, it seems to be some hella hot news. I go up to them. They pause whatever they're saying. Some of them poke the ones who haven't noticed me turn up yet as they hold back the chat they were having.

"Don't stop talking because of me," I say, strutting my fists on my waist.

Ashley B looks almost spooked. "We wouldn't dream of it, right Ashley A?" Ashley B says in a shrill.

"Nu-uh," goes Ashley A, pausing from sipping down her Sirenbucks coffee venti.

"Girls," says Robyn, looking around at everyone. She turns to me. "You're like the best leader we've ever had, but we can't tell you everything we dish about. Sometimes we just want our chats under wraps."

"Gossiping should be public domain, that's what makes it fun," I argue.

Ashley T comes forward too. "Not all the time," she says.

"Ah!" I breath out. "So, it's only okay to spread rumors about people, but only when its not about you. I didn't know I was leading a bunch of hypocrites. You could tell everyone about my freaky fourth toe. I wouldn't mind."

Leslie looks on at me. "We're not as fearless as you," she says.

"Hmm," I hum out load. I sigh out as dramatically as possible. "I guess I'll be all by myself with no one to talk to about Vince, Troy and Mikey." I've hooked some of the cheer leaders with my bait already. I slowly walk away. "How one's coming to terms with having two dads, another sneaked into an NC-17 film and just recently one of them came out to me that they're almost certainly a pansexual. But I guess you lot don't care."

Ashley A opens her mouth wide and pushes her venti back at Ashley B. "Wait! Forget them, you can talk to me!"

"And me!" says Ashley B.

Got em'. One after the other, my girls peck at me and push each other over for me to dish more dirt. I knew they couldn't stay mad at moi for long. The cute sultress with the loose lips.

---

It's my last lesson for today as I go on the first floor. I waltz inside of R.E. class. Jimmy's already there sitting at our desk. I heart the United Nerds. How they try to solve peoples problems and the way they all shamelessly represent their country each and every day.

"Maddie," says Jimmy, getting up pulling the seat out for me. "Being in your presence again is grace of a thousand doves."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, Jimmy," I reply, holding my chair. To the side people are giggling at Jimmy's overload of etiquette. I stare them down until they look away. Jimmy does look a bit starry eyed. "Could you not do that every lesson. You're handsome too, for sure," I say, giving him a thumbs up. I take a seat and he sits down too. "But it makes me seem like I'm superficial. People might think I'm asking you to big me up all the time."

I really really really don't wanna be leading him on or anything.

"Do preconceptions weigh heavier than an elephant when a mere feather takes the fall all the same?" he asks.

"I dunno. Does it?"

"Someone's opinion of you should not matter when we following the same path. I think you're awesome Maddie, that's all I mean by that."

"Aw, really?" I go. I shake my head and pat him on the cheek. "You're sweet."

Mr Seshadri turns up and waits no time to get the lesson underway. The topic turns from the differences between religious beliefs with the significance of living to what happens in the after life. He's moved to Hiduism. He's drawn a diagram on the board of the different things humans can be reincarnated into from a small bug to another human.

"As you could of guessed, I'm Hindu, and I very much believe that I will experience many lives by being constantly created and recreated again. This is called Saṃsāra. While on earth, the actions affect our current and future lives," explains Mr Seshadri. "I'm sure you lot have heard of this term before, 'what goes around comes around?'"

Someone sticks their hand up and Mr Seshadri points to them. "Karma?" that person asks.

Mr Seshadri approves the answer. "In Hiduism, a person has to live over and over and go through different experiences until he or she attains perfection and becomes one with the divine."

Jimmy puts his hand up. "I'm Buddhist, so would that apply to me?"

Mr Seshadri nods.

I lift my hand up too. I wanna bit of the action. "Sir, I kinda don't believe in anything. Do I get a shot?"

"Traditionally this only applies to Buddhists and Hindus, but people have said to have been reincarnated without first believing in either faith. It's all debatable."

"Is this turning into another person thing really possible, though?" I ask.

"Well," starts Mr Seshadri. "There has been cases of children claiming they've lived extraordinary passed lives to sibling reincarnations."

"Sibling reincarnation?" I ask.

"Yes. It's when one sibling dies and as they pass away, their spirit, mannerisms and even their entire soul moves to their brother or sister when he or she is born. So you'll live on and not really die. A divine intervention."

Class is over.

I stroll down the hall and lean back on a locker. I whip out my phone from my knee high socks. I take my pick of the games I've downloaded. Samurai run, Zombie zen garden, and Robot storm. The free trial runs out and so does my patience. I'm next to the locker with it's door dented in. The same locker I went aggro on. I need people to stop making me burn up like that.

My name's called. I put my phone down. It's Ashley T and Spinelli.

Ashley T, Spinelli and I leave together outside. Dunno why Spinelli has up and left her friends for me and Ashley T though.

"Erm, Mad?" goes Spinelli to me. "Can we go to your house to hang out?"

"Huh, why? My crib is literally a crib, my mom's expecting, so everything's pretty much baby-sized," I reply. "How about Ashley T's house. She lives in a big mansion. Way more fun."

"Bugs," shrieks Ashley T, turning around at Spinelli then back at me again. "My house is like, completely infected with like, um, er—"

"Killer cockroaches," adds Spinelli. "That eat your face off—so, lets go to yours. We've never been."

Spinelli is such a bad liar. I can't believe I thought she really meant it when she said Dog's Pajamas where at the school that one time.

"The mall?" I suggest, changing my direction.

Spinelli stops. "I really think we should go to your house."

I stare both of them down. They both force a fake smile at me. I shrug off their weirdness and just walk home.

We're at my house.

Heading inside, the living room is shut closed. Spinelli and Ashley T move hesitantly around it. We make our way to the garden where my mom has her outside studio. We walk inside. The quiet mood-setting music is playing. The mirrors reflect off her student's faces as they notice us three come in. There are about ten adults doing yoga stretches and following Mom's instructions. She's doing handstand yoga positions. Her pregnant belly bump in a standstill.

"And relax," says Mom. She open's her eyes and she sees it's me. "And keep that pose."

I walk over to Mom in front of the class. She's still upside down on her head and so are the others. "It's cool if us three crash here tonight, right?" I ask her.

"I need you to record my commercial," Mom says. "The lighting was a bit off on the last one."

"Mom," I moan. "There's a whole world outside of infomercials. It's called the internet. I'll set up all the social media links you need. No probs. I just wanna know if it's cool if Ashley and Spinelli can just stay here, and we could totally just have a little girl time and just—"

"Maddie," pierces Mom in a whisper, readjusting herself in front of me. "We talked about this, you have to be more aware of supporting a tranquil environment, what would your baby sister say?"

"Nothing. She hasn't developed a mouth yet, or a brain or arms or anything. All we're gonna do is do a little—"

"Stop," Mom says, halting me with her hand. "Breath in."

She indicates for me to inhale a big whiff of air.

I breath in with her.

"And out," Mom finishes.

I breath out again.

"Thank you girls for bringing her here, remember we are doing this for you, okay?" Mom says to Ashley T, Spinelli and then to me. She looks over at her class. They're all red headed having been upside down for so long. "Everyone back to sitting position!"

I look back at Ashley T and Spinelli. They both have guilty looks on their faces. I walk passed them two. Some of Mom's students collapse on the floor. I stomp outside to the garden. They're both saying it wasn't their idea or something like that.

I open the living room door. It's crowded. Everyone from school is here. Well, not everyone, but everyone that's close to me. Gretchen, Mikey, Molly, Vince, Troy and all the other cheerleaders.

"What the hell is this?" I ask.

"It's an intervention," says Gretchen standing up. "I bought my mom, she's a psychiatrist, she can help you."

"I don't need help," I say.

Ashley A chimes in saying, "Like, come on Maddie, you're a danger to humanity." .

"I'm nice sometimes," I argue, fighting my corner. I roll to Gretchen. "Gretchen, remember the time I was courteous to that tech kid when she struggled to speak English?"

"Actually Maddie," sighs Gretchen. "Kumiko speaks English. She speaks English really well. She pretended not to in order to indirectly insult you."

"What did she say?" I ask.

"A lot," says Gretchen, refraining to go on. "To summarize it. She called you a bitch."

Ashley A raises her eyebrows. "Told you."

"Shut up, Ashley," Spinelli says. "And when I mean shut up I don't mean oh shut up, no way, I can't believe it."

"You wanna mock us, but then you sound too much like we do."

Ashley B agrees. "It's not our fault Maddie's wacked out, ain't that right Vince?"

Vince looks surprised with wide eyes.

Spinelli grunts. "There you go again, stringing Vince along, he doesn't even like you," says Spinelli.

The room fills up with arguing. This all started with people's impressions of me. So what? I get angry from stuff, doesn't everyone? At least I don't bottle it up until I become one of those teens who ends up seriously harming other people, or even themselves. I can't get a word in, I can't hear myself think.

"All right, stop!" I shout out, everyone seems to remember why they're here now. "I know I've been a bit bitchy and unpredictable sometimes. I have a small tolerance for stupid people. That's why I have mood swings."

Nobody says anything. I leave the room with Spinelli and Gretchen, as Ashley T stays.

"Babydoll!" yells Dustin at me.

Dustin bull dozes himself into the scene. He's still wearing his red X high school varsity jacket. He hugs me and all I feel is hard chest. I tense up and wait till he lets go.

"Don't call me that!" I reply.

Troy comes out from the room. "Hey what's going—?"

"Yas!" Dustin shouts at Troy.

"Um. Yeah!" Troy replies, as Dustin forces him to high five.

Spinelli turns at me. "Who's this?"

Mom comes back inside. Dustin and my mom meet eyes.

Vince comes over to Troy's, Spinelli's and my side. "Mad, you never told us you had a older brother?" says Vince.

Mom and Dustin start making sucky face in front of all of us. It's disgusting. I've seen exploitation films before, but this is a new type of horror. Everyone slowly looks back at me, with a combined look like W.T.F?

Mom breaks up their kissing. "Stop Dustin. Sorry everyone, this is my fiancé, Dustin." She looks back at Dustin. "Dustin, this is Maddie's friends."

"All right?" he goes back at us. "I apologize for being late to your little exorcism y'all having for my daughter to be."

I clench my fists. I ask Troy if he has his football with him. He nods, goes back to the living room and brings it to me. I feel it around in my hand. I treat Dustin like a dog by shoving the football close to his face. I fall back to the front door and open it.

"Look boy! Fetch!" I say, throwing the football out the front door. I walk back leaving the front door wide open. "Go and mess up someone else's family!"

I storm upstairs.

"Maddie!" shouts Mom.

"Damn!" I hear Vince say from downstairs.

"But. My football," I hear Troy say.

I go to my room. I'm hearing two people coming upstairs behind me. I don't bother look back to see who it is.

"What the frig'?"

My room's gone. It's all baby stuff. An hourglass, a teddy bear, a pink rabbit, a baby bottle. Where's my bed gone? Everything's been moved out. I back out of the room almost walking straight into Spinelli and Gretchen. I bolt into the spare room. All my stuff is in cardboard boxes. The room's paint has been half done. There's a large drainage pipe sticking out the wall. A mattress left there. The rooms in a small triangle shape. I've been moved out of my own bedroom. The unfairness is friggin' unprecedented.

Spinelli comes into the small guest room I'm in. "I'm sorry you have to live with Dustin," says Spinelli.

"Don't worry about it," I reply, going through my boxes and laying it down on my mattress. "It's not like he's really my stepdad. The baby isn't even his either. My mom strives for perfection, so she holds deposits of men that meet her standards in the fridge."

"Ah! That's ghastly!" Gretchen shrieks, leaving back out through the room and downstairs.

It must be here. Spinelli comes to my side. Its like I'm going through everything. My pom poms. My megaphone. Spare converses. Makeup.

There it is. I found it. I take my portrait photo of my dad and I, as I go back down stairs.

Gretchen's talking to Dustin. "Do you work at X high school?"

"I'm a recent alumni," replies Dustin. "I keep the fraternities in check. You know, the important stuff."

"You remember him Mom?" I ask her, showing her my picture, making her move away from Dustin. "What do you think Dad would feel with your boy toy you—you—you."

I hold my head. Everyone's splitting into twins. My head is buzzing.

"Maddie is it?" asks Gretchen's mom. "If we go now to my office, I can squeeze you in for a session free of charge. How does that sound?"

"Extremely boring," I reply, gripping my picture tight.

Gretchen's mom smiles back.

I look back at everyone and head for the door placing the picture of my Dad on the coffee stand by the door.

I make my way with Gretchen and her mom to their place. Probably every shelf in this house has books on them. I enter a door separated from the other parts of the house. There's a certificate on the wall with 'Dr Grundler Ph. D. in clinical psychology with a concentration in Neuropsychology.' Gretchen's mom, I mean, Dr. Grundler takes a seat behind a desk. I take a seat on the long leather coach.

I lay down looking right up at the ceiling.

"Before I begin, I'm giving you a free consultation to get a brain scan," Dr Grundler says.

"A what?" I ask.

"It's procedure, we can make a real start once that's completed," she continues. "We can have a brief demonstration in the meantime."

I don't say anything for a while, so, why hasn't she started yet? I turn to look at her.

"Okay, when your ready," she says, clearing her throat. "Let's start at the beginning. Maddie, who are you?"

---

"I'm an all loving, all eating, all American blonde bombshell" I muffle, chewing with my mouth full.

Mr Dude, Spinelli's crush, is an absolute god. What other teacher gives you free food before school? I love saving the food from tutor time in my wow-man purse. I scoff down a brownie and waffle sandwich, chocolate milk duds, munch down some pork chips. Whip cream on everything.

"Do you really have to eat all of that right here and right now?" asks Gretchen, whizzing through her textbook.

"Yes and Yes," I say, digging chocolate out of my pink nails. "I have a healthy relationship with my stomach if you haven't noticed, and, study hall's a good place to refuge."

"We have lunch afterwards if you've forgotten," Gretchen says.

"So I hide what I really eat in front of my teammates at lunch? So what?" I go.

Spinelli and Molly are multi tasking. Their eyes are down on their phones but their mouths are yammering away to each other, I don't care what about.

"Maddie," Mr Dudikoff calls.

"Sir, you didn't see anything," I say, chucking my snacks on to Spinelli and Molly's desk.

"You have an urgent appointment, um, right now as it goes," Mr Dudikoff says, handing me a slip.

"I'm keeping this," says Spinelli to me, pulling my food closer to herself.

"Bye you lot. Have fun with the school work. I'm going on vacay," I say, getting up from my seat, trying to keep a serious face.

"You won't forget us will ya?" asks Spinelli, chomping my food down.

"Sorry. I can't promise anything."

I pick my purse up and get out of study hall. Going down the hall, I head inside the girls bathroom. A few girls are chatting away and taking their time. I check myself out in front of a free mirror and feel my finger under a cold tap. The girls turn their heads at me. I don't say anything. They giggle and shake their heads as they walk out still talking to each other.

It falls silent. I check my reflection. I lower my head underneath each stall. I'm alone. I quickly make my way out and take a chair from a classroom dragging it across the floor back to the bathroom. I'm back inside. I lean the chair to barricade the main door and slide in the lock.

I look back at my reflection. I'm not perfect enough. I need to be more perfect.

Opening up a stall, I find a pen from my purse to use to throw up the junk food. Rid myself of my toxins. I'm not letting out enough sick. I jab the pen further down until I get rid of all of it. This never gets any easier, but nothing worth working for ever is. I reach the top corner of the toilet and flush it. I dump my purse on the counter and stare back at myself. I'm really pale. I put some foundation on my cheeks.

Aw, man. I hate myself. Lets make other people happy.

I return all the things back to their rightful place. I take a quick breath to steady myself. I'm back in high school civilization.

I get a smirk from Deshay and the other hipsters. I banter back and forth with them as I make my way. I pretend to sulk down in a depressed state at the emos, making them break a little grin out which is way out of character for them. Exchanging grins with the jocks who yell at me in their usual jovial mood. Then it's some tech kids using remotes to open their lockers. It's Kumiko giving me a smile.

I stop at the front of the school facing away from her.

"Kumiko!" I yell. I hope that's her name. It's a bit late to get that wrong now. "Heard you speak English really well."

"Mmhm—yeah, I do, but—"

"I know, Kumiko," I reaffirm, turning around on her. "And I know what you said to me."

"Really?" she asks, causing the tech kids to take notice. She ignores them and comes closer up to me. "Then you must know how much of self entitled privileged superficial cheerleader you are."

"Ha!" I go, pointing at her. "I was just bluffing this whole time and you—"

"No you weren't," replies Kumiko, crossing her arms.

"Okay fine. But this isn't over," I threaten. Kumiko walks off. "I haven't thought of revenge yet, but when I do. Yeah. It's gonna be totally sucky for you!"

Great. Declare war to one of the elite smart asses of the school. Well done Maddie. Cool points to you.

I head to the Arkansas hospital. I let some of the older people roll out on their wheelchairs before me, as I wait to use the sliding doors. Disinfecting my hands with a squeezy sterilizer before I go inside.

I go to the B wing section. It must be B for Brain scanning.

The doctor calls me in almost immediately from the waiting room. I enter his office. We make a quick greet to each other as he asks me to take a seat. There's an MRI scanning machine in the middle of the room I used a couple days ago. Lot's of hospital stuff. There's a printed, black and blue scan of a brain printing up in front of me. My brain.

The doctor takes out his clipboard. "Does your family have any history of hereditary brain diseases? Brain tumors?" the doctor asks.

"No," I reply.

"Do you take any drugs?"

"Nope."

"Not even the choking game, when kids strangle each other in an attempt to get high?"

"What? No."

"Have you ever been in high altitude? Almost drowned? Stayed for long periods upside down—"

"Yeah," I say, stopping him. "I used to hang upside-down from monkey bars all the time at recess, back in elementary school."

"From your scan results, one would surmise that you were staying upside down for, hours at a time."

"Yeah, so whats your point?" I ask.

"You have Brain hypoxia," he says bleakly.

"Oh 'kay," I say, pondering with a slow nod. "So, what's that?"

"If you look here, Madeline," says the Doc, pointing at my brain scan. "Even though you must've become impervious to nausea, with little to no break, you've developed blocked blood cells to your brain which can cause your brain to not receive enough oxygen. Here in the frontal lobe for example, this is where cells help govern personality and impulsivity. If damaged, there might be no braking mechanism for self-control."

"So, that's why I lash out and stuff," I say.

"It's not uncommon to have intense emotions like, impulsive behaviour, physical outbursts, poor judgement, a lack of empathy—"

"Ha, really?" I go.

"You can also have intolerance of other people, negativity, egocentricity—"

"Hey, that's so not me Doc," I say.

"You're going to have to stay here in the hospital in the psychiatric ward section, so we can keep an eye on you and run some more tests."

"No way! I can't hang around with the walking dead all day. I got high school, friends, cheer leading, I have to lead my girls to Regionals this year."

"I'm sorry but if we don't put you under immediate treatment there is a high and very probable chance that you can get brain damage. Now, there's an institute where Dr Grundler works that has girls with similar mental complications like yours. It's a little bit of a journey from here. Do you have someone to drive you?"

I got no one. Mom's always busy teaching classes. Spinelli's brother Joey could, but I don't think I have his digits. None of my friends from school are old enough, I don't think most of them can even drive yet, let alone own a car. Ah wait. Him. Dustin.

"Yeah."

"Oh, and one more thing," the doctor says. "Make sure you keep to yourself. Some of the girls at the section you're staying at are there because they're severely mentally unstable."

I cover my face for a sec. "What's this place called?"

---

Dustin drives me into the opening of the institute. It's dark arches hang over the entrance. I lean my head on the passenger seat. On my lap is the hospital garment the doctor gave me. Outside there's lots of space. Greener than green grass like it's made from fake plastic or whatever is in baby food. On each side, girls my age are blowing out large bubbles that are bigger than they are. Dr Grundler is playing on a golden harp. There are random little kittens walking around. Everything is really bright like it's overdosing on happy pills.

The sign outside reads 'Unhinged Avenue an Institute for girls'. The building itself is large light pink and white grey scale. It's looks like this place got revamped as if the architect was Molly Sanchez with an Etch a Sketch.

Dustin gives me a look. "Well, it's not exactly depressing," he goes, getting out of the car.

"No," I reply, getting out the car and looking around at it all. A kitten crawls around my leg. "That's kinda what's making it creepier."

Girls are running passed us. They have hospital bands on their wrists like me.

Dustin sighs as we walk around on the grass. "Glad we finally agree on something."

I can sense someone looking at us. I look back around at the building's entrance. A man dressed in full white, with his arms crossed is watching every move we're making. He's waiting for us. There are two men in the same boring get-up he has on to his left and on his right.

We get closer. It's him. It's actually him.

"Shut up!" I shout. "It's you!"

It's James Stone. The myth. The legend. The creepy friggin' guy that got TJ thrown out of school.

James looks at Dustin. "You the dad?" he asks him.

"Stepdad," corrects Dustin.

I wave my hands out in front of myself to get a grip. "Stop stop. Hold up, wait a minute, let me put some stush up in it," I rap in a cheer, reciting a song and changing it up to best suit this crap storm. "What are you even doing here?" I ask James Stone. I get a better look at him. He has hair now. A lot of it. I yank his hair with a solid pull. The men beside him in white, pull me off him. "I thought so! I knew you had hair plugs!"

"Maddie!" Dustin goes, holding me off. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's getting in to her."

"Not to worry," says James, fixing his new hair back. "We know each other, don't we Maddie?"

"Well," I say, with a pause. "Not really. We've talked once. All your attention is with my other six friends which you are just going H.A.M on with the lying, the manipulation. We've kinda hopped, skipped and jumped over the getting to know me, getting know you thing."

Dustin looks on at James Stone unsure with what the heck I mean, and so he should. James shrugs it off and gives Dustin over paper on a clipboard for him to sign. Dustin's lead off inside by the two men in white, as James leads me away on to the grass.

I tug James' shirt. "What the hell are you doing?" I ask him in a harsh whisper.

"Giving back," he replies, really quickly as we walk together around the girl's who are playing. "When I heard you were going to the same mental asylum I went to, I just had to be here when that happened."

"Mental asylum?" I say, stopping in my tracks. "This is an institute for girls. No. I'm just here to run tests and stuff."

"You say institute. I say asylum," replies James, getting further ahead.

"Hey!" I shout, running up to him. "Don't walk away from me. I'm telling the police and everyone what you did."

"Go right ahead," he replies, flicking at my hospital band with a tug. "I'm sure everyone will believe a mental patient." He carries on. "Please. Turn me in. I implore you to. I've literally done nothing wrong. All the friends, those destructive six, as the local TV called them one time, did it to themselves."

"That bomb you goss-ed to me. TJ. You—" I say in intervals.

He grabs my arm tight and stares into my eyes. "I'm not saying I'm gonna deny being the conventional evil villain wrong-do-er with new fashionable hair, in your eyes," he snarls, letting go.

"Not entirely accurate with your hair being fashionable, but go on," I smile.

"TJ's one hell of a born leader. He caused havoc to the whole child jurisdictional system. He almost escaped from juvie there and then on New Years with just a rubber duck, a selfie stick, a bobble head and the guard's keys."

"Shut the front door!" I gasp.

"I won't!" replies James. We continue to walk in a faster brisk. "TJ, Vince and all of your friends, they weren't the only kids at school I befriended and influenced. I'm not the reason you lot are wearing those new uniforms. This rabbit hole goes a lot deeper than you think, Alice." He laughs to himself. "Hell! I want you to point me out to the police! I won't stop you. I've got nothing to lose. Nothing." He continues walking and I follow, but I keep my distance this time. "I have no grudge with you. Only for TJ and his friends for them putting me in a mental asylum in the first place. What you did with Spinelli though was great detective work. I have to admit."

"So, you are Matthew Hewitt, then?" I ask.

James Stone looks blankly back at me.

"Mr Cutter?"

No reaction.

"Mr Swine? Mr Glover? Mr Braden? Miss Trout?" I list out at him. His face doesn't change. "But you are pretending to be someone at school again, aren't ya?" I ask, tilting my head at him. He lets his guard down and smirks. "Ah. You're such a weirdo." I stare back around at everything. "So, you went here before it got all girl-ed up?"

"Yep," he replies. We've walked around and back to Dr Grundler on her harp. He looks at her. "Do you wanna get Maddie ready to meet the other girls?"

Dr Grundler nods back at James and rests her fingers from playing. James Stone disappears inside the building. Dr Grundler turns towards me. She welcomes me and asks to give her all my electronic devices.

I take my phone out and text Spinelli.

'Me: James Stone is wiv me LOL. His school disguise is prolly absent 2day!'

Dr Grundler keeps asking me for my phone. I point out my finger at her to wait. She takes my phone off of me before I could hit send.

"Hey!" I say. "That was super important."

"You can have it back at the end of the day," she says.

"It might be too late for that by then."

Pretty much everything in my handbag is put to the side. No phones allowed. No pens. Nothing that has any sharp edges.

"Could you remove your shoe laces please?" she asks me with her hand out.

"'Kay," I reply, putting my hospital gown on the ground. I kneel down as I untie my converse shoes. "Why though? Are they too distracting or something?"

"No, it's policy. Shoe laces encourages negative emotions," she replies, taking them off me. "And your pink bow please?"

"My ties are special. I've gotta have them. They were my grammy's," I explain. "My dad's mom had them, then my dad's mom's mom had them, then my dad's mom's mom's mom—We could be here all day."

"That's precious. I'll keep them safe for you. I promise."

"You see," I say, covering my head. "I don't think they will be."

"You are new, but I have to remove them. In this institute we can't let girls have the initiative to let their conditions get the better of them. I don't want to even mention it, in case it petrifies you as well," Dr Grundler replies.

"I can take it," I say, patting my own chest. "What is it? Lay it on me. You could spell the word out like a cheer."

Dr Grundler sighs. "Lets just say, Maddie," she goes, coming closer to me with a whisper. "We have puzzles and board games here, but what we don't play is H-A-N-G man."

Huh? What is she even talking about? What's puzzle and board games gotta do with my head ties? Who even plays that game anymore? It's not like they actually—?

"Oh," I gasp. "You mean?" I ask, cranking my neck and pretending to hang myself with my tongue sticking out.

Dr Grundler nods.

"That's dark."

I very slowly give her my head ties. In no way has anything ever bad happened without them. The least I can do is comply.

I walk further on the grass where some girls are. It's so happy here. There is a nice footpath where me and James Stone got to finally meet each other. All the girls are either playing chess or a puzzle on plastic chairs and tables.

"Hi," goes a girl with a sweet shriek at me.

A fairly shorter girl than me, comes around from behind a tree. She's in a sweatshirt and skirt. Light purple round glasses. Fairly dark brunette hair. Her hair is messy and out of place. I just have the urgency to take control and comb it back straight. I stop myself. Not knowing her enough is the only thing stopping me from fixing her hair myself.

"Hello," I reply to her, with a little wave. "We don't have to wear these do we?" I ask, waving my hospital gown in front of her.

"Hi," she says again with a lower pitch. "Wear those crappy drabs? Nope. Only when they are operating on you. Are you getting operated on? Down to the insides and awesome gory gunk?"

"No I don't think so," I laugh back.

"Hi," she says yet again, but in a different way. "That's good cause I will just feint if I see any blood."

"Are you okay?" I ask her, afraid to upset her with any condition she may or may not have.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Paige, Amber, Rocket and Blondie," she replies, wiping her hand on her skirt and then stretching it out.

"Maddie," I reply, reaching my hand out for her to shake it. "So, what should I call you?"

"I told you," she replies, stepping back from me and screwing her face up. "I'm Paige. Most of the time."

"Who are you now?"

"It depends. A change of conversation is enough to trigger me into a different person," she explains as we walk and talk. "I know you. You were upside-down girl. I was the library-kid."

"Sorry. I don't know you, you know, before all of this. I was usually outside during recess all the time."

"Recess," she sighs, looking up at the sky. "I loved recess. Even if it did cause me to suffer an acute manic episode on more than one occasion."

"Okay."

Paige continues to show me around. The more I look the more I'm actually liking it. There's obviously been money well spent to make everything seem happy even if it is artificial.

Several of the girls are doing some of the puzzles, but it looks wrong.

"All the puzzles look too easy," I say. "They're made of like eight pieces."

"They have to be, so no one gets upset," Paige explains.

"Doesn't it get boring here?" I ask.

Paige just shrugs. That must be the reason for this whole place looking the way it does. Have everything childish and on easy mode so that no one can find an excuse to rage. At least, I'm not locked inside. I've been outside all this time. I could catch a tan at this rate.

Dr Grundler walks ahead of us, pulling a plastic chair as she sits down on it. The girls drop everything they're doing and copy what she's doing.

Another girl comes up to Paige and I. "It's time for our circle ferp," she tells us, dragging a chair across the grass.

Paige nudges my shoulder. "It's our inside joke here. Its where we talk about how we're getting better with our individual problems," she whispers to me.

"Because self improvement is just self pleasuring yourself, right?" I ask her back.

"Exactly!" Paige gasps at me, in a deeper voice.

"Yeah. Circle ferp. I totally get it," I say. We get some abandoned brightly colored chairs and join them. We reach the circle. I part Paige's hair to whisper in her ear. "If we start playing duck duck goose though, I'm running out of here."

Paige smiles back.

It's a circle of about twenty or so girls. They all look as unpredictable as Paige.

"Thank you, everyone," starts Dr Grundler. She turns to a girl with dark swollen eyes. "Sarah, how are you feeling? How are you keeping up for realizing what you did to your boyfriend?"

"Huh?" shrieks Sarah, with a dark smile. "Well, nothing was keeping me from keying up his bike and burning all his video games. Nothing. That's my answer to that."

A girl laughs at her response as she taps her weave straightened hair with pats of her hand.

"Bea?" Dr Grundler asks that girl. "How are you at feeling remorse for why you are here then?"

"Erm, I'm working at it," replies Bea. "I'm doing that apology letter like you said. It's just hard to think of what to write when I know my ex best friend was in the wrong. Me burning her face off with a curling iron was in retaliation. It was gonna happen. Mostly retaliation."

Oh my god! I look around at the other girls. They all have a story. Some clearly more brutal than others. I catch eyes with Dr Grundler.

"I'm sorry, Maddie," says Dr Grundler. "This must be a bit much for you."

"No, not really," I say. "High school's full of teenagers hiding who they really are, you know, pretending to be other people and stuff. So it's the honesty I'm trying to get used to."

"Maddie, how have you've coped then?" she asks, before putting her hand out to stop herself. "In fact, tell us a fun fact about yourself that not a lot of people know."

"Um. Well, I'm a girl that likes girls," I reply.

Dr Grundler moves back in her chair. The girls move their chairs closer up to me. It happens at exactly the same time like a knee jerk reaction.

The girl from earlier peps up. "You kissed a girl yet?" she asks me.

"No, not yet, but—" I reply

"Do you like any of us?" asks another girl.

"I dunno. Maybe."

All the attention is on me now. All the girls ask me question after question over each other. I don't know what they're asking. Dr Grundler has lost her grasp with them all.

"Urgh!" Paige wails, her arched eyebrows almost touching. She moves her chair away from me. She blinks hard, moves her hair and pushes her chair up close to me again. She puts her arm around me. "That's brave of you to just say it like that."

Did she just dismiss me and encourage nice words in the same breath? That's definitely different. The other girls smile back at Paige like they're all but used to this.

Dr Grundler smiles at Paige and then turns to me. "As you can tell, we're all too familiar with Sour Paige's personalities."

"She's a freak," says a girl, enunciating each word.

"Hey!" I say. "That's way mean."

"Well," goes Dr Grundler. "You do have a persona that very much likes girls, don't you Sour Paige?"

"Blondie," Paige replies, squirming uncomfortably on her chair. "I just escape in the world of books. I used to read aloud in different character's voices in my old private school. I always have done, and then." She pauses as Dr Grundler nods for her to carry on. "The Ashley quadfecta. They all said I talk to myself. It escalated to people in school ignoring me. Calling me different names. Pretending to talk to themselves like me. I got panic attacks, but there was no library I could hide to so—"

"That's when you made those different parts of yourself," adds Dr Grundler. She gets off her chair and kneels at Paige. She softly holds her hand. "Let the pain go, okay? Let the hurt go. Let the shame go. Your different personalities. That world you control in your head. That place can be as real as any pain."

I didn't know rumors could do all of this to someone. Well, okay, I know it's possible, but I didn't know to this extent.

Whats wrong with me?

Paige smiles as Dr Grundler goes back to her chair. Paige looks at me with seduction as she creaks eyes, flicks her eyebrows and pouts her lips at me in a pucker. Is she coming on to me? With a blink, Paige's face immediately changes back to a sweet and innocent grin again. Is it even Paige who doesn't like that I'm gay or is it another one of her alter egos? I think she does have a thing for me, at least, one of her personalities does.

"Maddie," Paige says.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I can see where you're coming from. I think I'll never spread a rumor again another day that I live."

"Wow Maddie, that means a lot," says Paige with a smile. "I'm surprised you can see me at all, all the way up there from your ivory tower."

"Paige?" I say, getting up from my chair. "I said I'm sorry. What the hell?"

Another girl from the circle shrieks in delight. "Nope! Blondie alert!"

Paige keeps up this menacing look. "Why don't you go stay at the normal high school for normal people," Paige says. "Your dad's got the right idea."

"He's not my real dad!" I say.

"I know," Paige says. "Seems like your daddy got out of your life, first chance he got."

I grab Paige's hair. The other girls start shouting. Dr Grundler tries to intervene. Sour Paige laughs maniacally as she punches my sides. I mean, Blondie does. I fling her on the ground. I stare down at her. My nose is bleeding. Hows that even possible? She never even took a solid swing at me. Did she?

I'm light headed. The back of my head hits the ground hard. My head starts jerking from side to side. I can't stop. What the hell is happening to me? It's getting harder to breath. I can taste the food I ate earlier. Its all acidic and I feel it spread on my chest. Spit and vomit comes frothing out of my mouth. I can't stop my head from shaking. I'm fighting myself but I can't win.

I hear the rush of footsteps and bloodcurdling screams around me. Everyone's panicking and all I'm hearing is, "Oh my god!" "Seizure!" "Maddie's having a seizure!"

Oh great. I'm gonna randomly die a bulimic barbie in front of everyone.

How embarrassing.

I see the sky.

I see black.

---

I see white.

I'm inside the institute. I'm actually in my hospital gown now, but I'm laying on a bed. There's a ventilator next to me detecting my heartbeat. This thing clipped on my finger. I take it off. I can feel tubes in my nose. There are guys in white talking ahead of me.

James Stone leans his head at me. "Can you hear me?" he asks me. "What's your name?"

"Maddie. Duh," I reply.

James turns back around at the other men who are standing at the foot of the bed.

"I don't know how to say this," he says.

"Can I just go? I'm all right now. See," I say, sitting up right on my bed.

"Maddie, let me just break it down so you'll understand," James Stone starts, all shaky with his voice breaking. The doctor from Arkansans checks the water linked to my arm on the side. "If you so much as have one more outbreak, it could be fatal. Maddie. If you get mad one more time, you could die."

"What?" I shout. "Ya'll totally not being funny right now."

I rip all my tubes off. I get on my bed standing up. The guys in white push me back down on the bed.

"Get off me!" I shout.

They all pull me down.

"Hey!" he shouts, pushing off some of the men.

He pushes me down himself. He takes out a needle.

"No! Get the hell off!"

"Pass me that oxygen mask," he orders the guys.

He pushes the mask on my face. I shake my head from side to side to get it away. I feel a thin pain in my neck.

Everything's fuzzy. It takes all the men in white to push the oxygen mask on me.

Everything disappears again.

---

Sour Paige gets her mouth smothered by the hands of other cheerleaders. She fights back to no avail. They move their hands in and out mimicking a heart beat. They spin and catch her, cushioning her fall from an awesome stunt into a cheer. They jump up and down giving each other high fives and hugs. I guess it was all pretend. A part of their act. All their cheer leading outfits are bright pink. Dang. So are mines. What am I wearing?

Where am I?

I'm in the outskirts of the woods. The sky is clear with a few dabs of clouds like in a portrait. It's greeny-blue in a dreary dream state. The ground is nestled with nothing but dry leaves and tree stumps.

Dustin is next to me. Oh my gosh. He's dressed like a boring suburban step dad, with glasses on and a cardigan turtle neck.

"Don't move. This is gold," I say to Dustin, putting my arm around him. I take out my phone and take a selfie with him. He smiles back at the camera. It's James Stone on my other side. James Stone is dressed even sillier. He's bald again with only the side action of hair going on. A round bongo head with a sweat band around it. To top it all off he's wearing short shorts. "And you. Why are you dressed like that? Did you really take to heart when I said your new hair plugs weren't fashionable?"

Dustin looks proud at me. "She's a real hoot, this one," says Dustin, adjusting his glasses.

James Stone feels around his bald spot insecurely. "I'm sure everyone will love her here," James goes.

I take everything in. Behind James is a large wooden cabin. The sign outside of it says 'Cheerleader Camp for girls.' Dustin gives me a hug and hands over my luggage out of the boot of his car. The honk if your horny plate is gone. He follows two helpers wearing the same color scheme as James Stone into the big cabin that's roughly the same size as the institute. James moves further down this camp as I follow him by his side. Some cheerleaders are practicing drills further ahead, where I saw Sour Paige. Outdoor tents. Large trees. A large lake at the far end in front of us sparkles off the sun's rays.

"You're gonna have such a swell time," says James, sounding completely different, yet entirely genuine. He points beyond the lake. "Opposite the lake is the Band Camp for boys." He pauses and stares back at me with sincere eyes. "Like I said before, I'm your camp counselor and if you have any questions. Talk to me."

"Hmm, what about," I say, thinking out loud, scrunching up my lips. "What the frig is going on?"

James shifts his eyes. "Uh. We don't really condone bad words here. We do have a swear jar. I think it's in Coach Grundler's office."

I hold the temple of my forehead and let go of my luggage roller. Coach Grundler? What kind of alternate reality is this?

"Okay, stop," I say, halting James Stone with my hand out. "What's actually happening here? I was just in a bed and now I'm in some cheerleader get-away?"

James chuckles. "I know how you feel. We were all just in bed and now where back to the hustle and bustle of life. But don't worry, you'll get used to waking up this early."

"No, I meant—"

James pulls me by the arm. He takes me outside a small cabin. He knocks a few times at the door. We walk in and Dr Grundler has turned into a coach. A brightly colored whistle around her neck in a camping uniform. Counselor James puts a nickle in her swear jar before he leaves us two alone.

"Hey, happy camper! I'm—" she starts.

"I know. Coach Grundler," I reply, taking out my possessions. I hand her my phone and undo my head ties.

"What are you doing, silly?" she asks, getting out of her chair as she pushes my things back at me. She walks me out of her small cabin office.

"It's dangerous to keep my head ties and my phone with me, isn't it?" I ask her back.

"The only thing dangerous is not having a can do attitude," she replies, as we walk down her short porch. "We don't have any signal here anyway." She takes the handle of my bag. "I'll put your luggage in the girl's sleeping tent for you."

I thank her and find myself gravitating towards James. He's not the same beady eyed weirdo he was before. He's talking to one of the cheerleader campers. He's there with Paige.

He notices me. "Sour Paige, would you like to show Maddie around? Get her familiar with everything?" he asks her.

She looks at me. Paige has lost her glasses, her hair is so prettier and her subtle use of makeup is on point. "Uh, I don't know, um. I'm not exactly a believer of the buddy system. Why don't you ask Rocket?"

Rocket? Another one of her personalities? Here we go.

Sour Paige stares at the ground without giving me a look. Counselor calls Rocket over and another girl camper emerges.

"Rocket, show our new girl the ropes," says Counselor James Stone. "I hear there's talk that she's in line to give up her lipginity to Boy Wonder. Hint hint."

"Really?" replies Rocket, raising her eyebrows. "She just got here."

I've seen this girl before. She's—She's—Oh my god, my bestie from high school.

"Molly?" I ask her.

It's definately Molly. Her hair is brunette with light pink highlights on the tips.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rocket asks back.

"Sorry," I reply, as I notice Rocket is neither Molly or Paige. She's her own person. "You remind me of someone."

Rocket pulls my hand and leads me away from Counselor Stone and Sour Paige as they go their separate ways as well. Rocket points to me the tents that we'll be sleeping in. She shows me the lake that separates Cheer leading camp and Band Camp.

Rocket turns to me by the lake. "I don't know how a boy likes you already, but the closest thing to boy is on the other side of the lake. It's so close, yet so far. Like it's taunting us," she says.

"I don't think I'm gonna be worried about them," I say.

Rocket seems not to care much with my response and moves off to where the other girls are stretching. "Maddie, you've already met Sour Paige," she says, as Paige finally flashes a look at me. "This is Amber." Who looks like Gretchen, she gives me a wave. "And Blondie." Who looks like Spinelli, who nods at me.

They don't even look like my old friends would. I've seen Gretchen without glasses before, Molly without pink hair and I'm getting used to this new Paige. It's just the fact that this alternate-reality-Spinelli is rocking this cats eye makeup. It's unbelievable. I can't keep myself from giggling. I accidentally snort.

Blondie glares at me. "What made you chortle like that?" she asks.

Sour Paige stands up for me saying, "be nice to her," but still very timidly. "Counselor Stone says she's losing her lipginty to Boy Wonder."

Blondie stares at her reflection off her pocket mirror, and then looks me up and down. "She's no lip-virgin," Blondie snarls.

Rocket, who I have to remember is not Molly, takes some chewing gum out for herself. The other girls ask for some but she says she's all out.

Amber nudges me. "You have any gum?" she asks, peering at my handbag. "I mean, it's worth a shot asking you, seeing as a girl's handbag is like a black hole. It can hold anything."

"Watch out!" Blondie says. "She might take out the whole marching band and make out with all of them. I know her type. She thinks she's too good to be here."

I reach in my handbag. I don't even need to hold in any aggression. These are all my friends in my eyes. I take out the jawbreakers Gus was getting rid of from Kelso's. It's the super candy from Japan that I never got to try.

"I don't have gum," I reply. "I only got suckerpunch."

Rocket takes her gum out and sticks it behind her ear. "What's suckerpunch?" she asks me, taking one.

"Punch flavored jawbreakers," I reply. I turn to Amber, giving her a sweet. "I bet you know how many licks it takes to get to the middle."

Amber scrunches her nose and shakes her head. "No. Why?"

"Um. No reason."

Get it through your thick skull Maddie. This is not the smart brainiac Gretchen anymore, this is Amber. A multiple personality of Sour Paige come to life.

Coach Grundler turns up and sets down her bucket full of bottles of water and pom poms.

"Let me get a good look at you," goes Coach Grundler, examining my face. "Hm. You seem cool enough," she continues in a chippy attitude. She goes over to her speakers on the wooden picnic table. "I'm going to play some music, okay? I want you to shake off that bad mood. Feel the music. Let it into your heart, and when you're ready, I want you to make up a cheer."

The music starts playing. Typical pop. Not really the hip hop I'm used to dancing to with my team at school. Stone and other camp leaders come over to watch.

I don't do anything.

"Don't be a little grouchy bear," Coach Grundler says, as she gets closer whispering in and out of my ears. "If you do not make a cheer, you'll be a negative Nancy. And we don't keep negative Nancys here. If you're not even gonna try then you're gonna have a bad time. We won't say anything if you can't keep up." She lifts out her pinky finger like a hook and I link it with mine. "You have all the weapons you need. So are you gonna fight or flight?"

She starts the music again. Counselor Stone is about to leave. I pop a suckerpunch in my mouth. I begin to sway. Lifting my hands in claps, spinning around and closing my eyes.

I feel a snowflake fall on my eyelash.

I open my eyes.

Everyone's and everything's vanished. I'm all alone. It's a courtyard completely covered in white snow. Its like I'm in a fantasy inside of a fantasy. The only things surrounding me are tall walls and along down one end is a temple with a tiny creek opening on the door. I walk towards it. I wrap my arms around myself to hold on to the little warmth that I have left. My breath vapor comes out like steam. I walk carefully up the steps so I don't slip.

I'm inside the temple. Ahead of me are many lit candles.

"Hello?" I yell, as I hear my own voice echo.

I head inside further. There's a skinny guy crossed legged cleaning a sword with a tissue. I step up the short stairs up to him.

"Sorry to disturb you, could you—?" I ask, getting a better look at him. It's Jimmy dressed like a Japanese sword smith. "Hey Jimmy."

"I don't know this Jimmy that you speak of. I'm Wise Guru," he replies, staring back at me. "What can I do for you my child?"

This is just like seeing the Guru kid again back in Third Street. The trusted Buddhist monk. Something must of triggered in my memory to see all of this happening. I need to wake up though. I need to get out of here.

"I started dancing as I made up a cheer in a camp and now I'm in Japan somewhere? It's really confusing. If you could give me a way out that would be—"

"A way out?" asks Wise Guru. "Do you really want a way back to reality or is there something more that you really seek?"

"Uh," I say, pausing as I ponder for a second. "I want someone to get what they deserve for what they did to my friends, but—"

"Justice" says Wise Guru, with a nod. "I'm going to help you find retribution."

"What do I need to do?"

"These are your weapons," he says. He reveals a box with a silver pistol inside. The gun has a cute link charm with baubles hanging on a golden lanyard. A little hourglass, a teddy bear, a pink rabbit, a baby bottle and a skull. He raises up one of two katana swords and puts it in my hand.

I grip the sword and let go. "You know what? I think I can find my own way out," I say, as I back away from him. I walk up to the door that's still gaping open. "Thanks anyway!"

This dumb fantasy has to come to an end already. I walk out to the top of the stairs. On the other side of the snowy courtyard is a samurai. A large sword is in his hand that he's scraping across the ground making sparks. He tilts his head in his shaded mushroom-like hat at me. He's in a stance ready to fight me. He's blocking any chance of an exit.

I stroll back inside the temple. "Totally-not-Jimmy-wise-guru-person! There's a samurai out there if you haven't noticed!" I walk back up the steps, pointing my thumb outside. "You two bros, or neighbors or—?"

"He's not waiting for me," replies Jimmy, opening an eye out from meditating.

I turn back around and then look back at his weapons. A gun and two katana swords.

This is nuts.

"All right. All right, " I say, going on my knees to Wise Guru's eye level. "I'll listen."

"When you take these rad weapons you begin your journey to the other side," he says. Wise Guru hands me over two swords and straps them on my back. He gives me the pistol along with a gun holster. He leads me back to the front door of the temple. "You will need five items for this journey. The first is a key. Then a bobble head, a rubber duck and a selfie stick."

"Oh, obvi," I sigh. "It had to be those unusual items TJ used to almost escape juvie. You said five things."

"The fifth thing is a mystery. It is the reason. It is the goal. It will be a deep sacrifice and a perfect victory."

"It's me," I say. "I'm the fifth thing. It's not much of a mystery, is it? I'm supposed to sacrifice myself. Uh, no chance."

"Well, if you say so," says Wise Guru with a shrug. "Oh, and one more thing," he goes, facing me outside with the samurai still waiting for me. "Remember. Keeping your anger in check can be cashed in not only in combat, but also in life."

"Okay," I reply, trying to keep my nerve. Jimmy slowly walks off back inside. "Is that it? No quick tutorials on sword fighting or how to defend myself?" I sigh and turn back outside. "BRB."

The samurai stands in the middle of the courtyard. He throws his hat to the side. He has a hachimaki headband around his head with Japanese letters and a red dot. It waves in the wind. He lifts up his head. I know him. It's Deshay.

"How ironic!" Deshay says, rotating his wrist with his sword. "A cheer leader who does nothing but follow celebrities on Chitter all day."

"How does one even turn from hipster to weeaboo? Aw, did you run out of second hand clothes and now you're resorting on hentai for that first hand experience?" I tease, moving my hand up and down in the jerking off motion. I turn away and look at the audience. "Hey reader. Yeah, yes you."

Deshay looks around. "Who are you talking to?"

I turn back at you. "This fan fic has taken a drastic turn in the way of traditional fluff," I explain, emphasizing bunny ear quotes with my fingers. "So, when you're yucking it up, reading this on your laptop or on your cell phones or on your potato, whatever it may be. Remember. Don't try this at home. And don't kill a good girl's confidence just cause she's a nerd and you don't know what a platonic boy friend is." I measure up at Samurai Deshay and stop. I turn back at you. "Oh, and there are so many better stories than this one. Like there's this slash fan fiction between TJ and Lawson that is so cute. Oh my god. Like TJ was blushing holding Lawson in his arms and—"

"Enough!" slams Deshay as he kicks me across the courtyard.

I fly back and hit my head on a wall. Ow. I feel a bump form on the back of my head. I adjust the swords on my back. I shake my head.

I run at Deshay. I sway my sword at him. He deflects all my hits. I fight with my heart. My anger flows through my veins. I get angrier and make him fall back away from me. He barges his shoulder into me. I duel my sword against his. Our faces almost touch. I dodge his attacks. He cuts me by the stomach. My block does very little as he pushes me away. I fall on the ground again.

He slowly paces back and forth at me.

I get up. There's a cut across my cheer leading top. I taste blood. I wipe my nose. There's blood dripping from my nose. I'm getting woozy. It's like there are three Deshay samurai's now.

I clash swords with him again. I go one way, then the other with my two katanas. He's too fast. Lifting my pistol out, I fire. I'm so dizzy. I'm so angry. I don't know which one is him. I shoot but miss every shot. I fall on my knees.

My head is killing me. I hold my head. Deshay stands over me with his sword right next to me. He's ready to strike his final blow. I need to stay calm. Like Wise Guru said. I close my eyes. He swings his sword at my head. I'm focused. I block his attack with my two katanas. He puts his weight on. I push back.

I back-flip back on my feet. Deshay looks back at me astonished. Maybe I'm not as quick or as strong as he is, but I'm more flexible than he is.

We stare at each other as the snow slowly settles on our faces.

He runs at me. He slings his sword. I dodge with cartwheels. He has guns of his own. He pulls out a turret gun. I fully twist my body away from the bullets in side ariels and round offs. The walls blow away. Debree flings in the air. I'm leaving tracks in the snow. His gun makes a squeak. His bullets have run out.

This fight has turned upside down. He's the one frustrated making mistakes. He throws his sword in waves across me. He's getting tired. I slash his torso. I cut his arm. I slice his leg. He's not quitting. I'm defeating him like the death of a thousand cuts. His sword falls on the snow. He falls to his knees.

"It can't be!" pants Deshay, breathing off pace. "How'd you do that?"

"Beginners luck?" I say, with a shrug.

I spin around with my two katanas and slice his neck. A rainbow of jawbreakers fly off the slit in every direction. A key hangs in the air. It's all pixelated like a video game. I grab it with my hand with a tight grip as I close my eyes.

I open my eyes again.

I'm panting with sweat coming from my forehead. I'm standing in a final pose with my hand out in a fist. The cheerleaders, Coach Grundler and Counselor James Stone are all clapping for me. The music stops.

There's a cut exposing my belly button where Deshay cut his sword into me. In my hand there's a real key in my grasp. Counselor Stone walks away with a delighted grin. Blondie looks at me with surprised wide eyes.

That was weird.

Yep.

That was very weird.

---

We sit in a circle around the camp fire as we're roasting our marshmallows. It's the dead of night, almost. I'm focused on the fire. Watching the soft sweet on the stick slowly turn into a s'more. Amber, Rocket and Blondie sit around me and the other girls. Counselor Stone is tuning the strings on his ukulele. Sour Paige, whose next to Counselor Stone, takes her lips away from her clarinet and gives me a shaky smile. Her instrument reflects off the fire a little bit. I make sure everyone is looking away. I slowly sneak away from the camp fire.

I'm on my feet walking off. It's a full moon.

I walk into our large square tented house for five. Taking some chalk out, I write on the double sided chalkboard. The girls come back in the tent. Sour Paige brings Amber, Rocket and Blondie along with her. I write the five items. Key. Bobble head. Rubber duck. Selfie stick. Sacrifice. I scrap a cross through key.

Amber sits down on her sleeping bag mattress. "How did you just make up a cheer like that on the spot?" asks Amber at me.

Rocket shakes her head at her. "No one impresses Coach Grundler like that," says Rocket.

Blondie huffs out, "Are you kidding me? Coach is a sweetheart. Maddie couldn't not impress her, even if she tried. It's just that the cheer—"

"It was good wasn't it?" Rocket finishes.

"Yeah," replies Blondie. "It was so goody goody and so happy go lucky to the nth degree that I thought talking animals were gonna make a cameo in it."

"Mhmm," goes Sour Paige. "We've never seen anyone grasp on to the happy camper vibe so quickly before."

I take out my key and twirl it in my hand. "Hows this for grasping the vibe," I say, throwing the key on my mattress. "I can't explain it, but when I was cheering I was in a fantasy. I was in a different dimensional thingy. I talked to a Wise Guru. I fought with a samurai. It's where I got weapons and this key."

The four girls look at me like I'm crazy.

"What's it open?" Sour Paige asks.

"I don't know," I reply. "I need to find these items so I can go to the other side and find retribution."

"Hey, Hot Shot!" Blondie calls at me. "If you're so sure you got these weapons, then where are they? Shouldn't they have come back with the key too?"

"Maybe they're in my fantasy still," I say.

"And that's probably where they're gonna stay," adds Blondie.

"Quiet Blondie!" tuts Rocket and nods for me to go on.

"Yeah, um," I reply, turning from Rocket to the rest of them. "All we have to do is cheer together with suckerpunch sweets and there's no reason you shouldn't see what I see."

Sour Paige looks really unsure. "In the middle of the woods at night?" shrieks Sour Paige.

Rocket nods. "Fraidy Cat's got a point," says Rocket. "We're gonna be off our heads in a lucid dream in the hope that you're right about everything. Whats in it for us? Retribution for what?" She pauses and looks at me. "When you say the other side you mean the Boys Band Camp, right?"

I never asked Jimmy by what he meant by the other side. I stop myself from saying how I don't know. I need these girls with me.

"Yeah," I lie. "You help me. We all go to the Boys Band Camp on the other side."

Amber nudges Sour Paige. "Maybe now you can really find your clarinet skills with the band camp. It's no secret your parents forced you to cheer lead over what you really wanted do," she says.

Rocket goes, "We didn't land on cheerleader camp, the camp landed on us."

Everyone grins and nods in approval. They're all on board, except for Blondie.

"Boys are not the be all and end all of everything," says Blondie.

A voice appears from the tent's opening and goes, "Why not?"

"Jebus Cripes!" Sour Paige yells, as we all flinch in fright too.

I hide my list by turning the chalk board back around.

It's Counselor Stone with his back to us as he enters our tent backwards, with his hands over his eyes. "Sorry to disturb you ladies. Just to remind you five that we do have lights out in ten minutes."

I know he's walking with his back turned to us so he doesn't catch us undressing. But he doesn't look half creepy when he does so.

All the girls leave the tent going passed Counselor Stone.

"Where are you girls going?" asks Counselor Stone.

Amber turns around slowly backing out. "You said we've got ten minutes, right?" replies Amber to Counselor Stone, but looking directly at me when she does.

Everyone has left. I look back at my five item list. What am I trying to bring justice to? Myself to get out of this dream state? TJ to get out of juvie? For somebody else?

I gather up my key. I look at my mirror. There's a flicker behind me. Blondie spins me back around, pressing her lips hard against mine. She's caught me by surprise. She's pushes me against the tent's wall. Our mouths collide.

Blondie finally pulls her lips back from against mines. "I knew it," says Blondie, looking back at me. "I knew you were no lip-virgin."

"I, uh, I—" I stutter.

"See you in the woods, Maddie," says Blondie, giving me a sultry smile.

I touch my lips in shock. Wow. That was, um. I wonder if the real Spinelli would kiss like that.

I make my way out of the tent. Blondie and the other girls have had a head start. The camp fire is still ablaze. Counselor Stone is singing a song with the other campers. Trying not to make a sound, I go deeper through the woods. It's getting darker. There's the ruffling of footsteps. I reach around a tree and I see the four girls as they do their stretches.

They acknowledge me. I give them a suckerpunch candy each. I take out my phone, play my music on speaker, and then stuff it in a gap in a tree.

"What are you doing?" asks Rocket, pausing the music coming from my phone. "They might hear us. We're deep in the woods already. Would it kill us to cheer in acapella or something?"

"I think we need to be lost in the music too," I reply.

"It's okay," says Amber.

"Of course," jeers Blondie, popping a sweet in her mouth, making it bulge a bump. "If this cheer falls through, we can blame this entirely on Maddie."

I nod and smile back at her. I can still feel her kiss. We stand in formation. I put the music back on, but a bit lower in volume. I slip the candy in mouth. We step together. We clap in sequence. I turn around in a spin.

My feet stepped apart. I close my eyes.

I open my eyes.

Ash falls all around like snowflakes. I'm in my fantasy again. I can feel two katanas on my back. My pistol in my holster. It's the middle of a war Armageddon. There are blimps in the sky. Shots being fired. The sky tinted to a golden yellow.

"Maddie! Maddie!" Blondie calls me. I turn around at her. "Sergeant's waiting for you so he can start the briefing for us."

I follow Blondie to where the other girls are standing around with different guns in their hands. They turn back around where the sergeant is coming towards us. It's Jimmy again, but he's dressed as an army general this time.

He must be my guardian angel.

"Okay girls. Here's the drill," starts Sergeant Jimmy, taking a toothpick out from the side of his mouth. "Our mission is to infiltrate the enemies talisman, that holds significant importance. A bobble head. We're gonna cross no man's land, enter the enemy trenches and intercept it. Get it? Got it? Good."

Rocket flicks a finger up. "What's so special about a stupid bobble head?"

"It will show it's importance in time," replies the Sergeant, looking at me and then Rocket.

"Amber," says the Sergeant. "I've arranged something special for you, to help us get rid of the initial horde of them. Let's go."

Sergeant leads the way out to our own trench. The five of us girls walk together like a team. Everyone's got their game face on. I'm in the middle with Sour Paige right next to me. Blondie blowing out her suckerpunch bubblegum. Rocket and Amber are on either side sucking on their sweets with menace. It feels like it's in epic slow-motion.

Amber runs up to the mecha the Sergeant left for her. It's a big gun wielding robot with it's own jet pack on the back.

The Sergeant pokes his head out of the trench. "Don't feel bad about killing them. They're already dead," says Sergeant Jimmy, sniping a soldier with a head shot.

"Zombies?" I ask, sneaking a peek through his sniper's lens.

"Obviously," says Sergeant reloading his sniper rifle. "But they're already dead in the inside too," Jimmy emphasizes again.

Sour Paige's eyes widen. "You don't mean?" she gasps.

"Uh-huh," answers Jimmy with a nod.

"Emo zombies," I say.

"You got it!" replies Jimmy taking out another horde of them. "Oh, and one more thing!" starts Jimmy, turning back at us all. "Remember! Finger guns are not just for posing with! Its sometimes more effective to draw a valid point than a real gun!" He shoots another Emo zombie beyond death with a shot through it's skull.

Sergeant Jimmy jumps completely over the trench to the fight against the open fire.

We go over the side of the trench and find cover. We take short sharp shot's against the Emo zombie soldiers. Amber is in her mecha making a path for us as we move over to no man's land. We reach the enemies trenches. The Emo zombies haven't noticed us yet. I notice Drake amongst them. He has green moldy skin. He's wearing a full black soldier uniform with a skull badge.

"Hey! You unamused face emojis!" I yell at them, mimicking the way Drake moves his hair away from his eyes.

The Emo's spin around at us. They're taken off guard with all their guns still on the ground.

Drake gets up and shakes his hair away from his eyes. "Wow. A cheerleader fighting zombies. Cause I've never seen that before," Drake replies, as the zombies get behind him. "If you have lollipop and chainsaws you'll probably get sued for copyright infringing."

"How considerate of you," I say, whipping out my gun and weighing it in my hand. "Our jawbreakers and machine guns will do, though. Thanks."

"Jawbreakers?" moans an emo zombie.

I shoot that emo zombie through the mouth making the side of his face collapse. "See. Jaw-breaker," I say.

The emo's reach for their guns and shoot at us. I whip out my katanas and reflect their bullets with swipes of my swords. The girls behind me join in the battle. I interchange with my swords and my pistol. Doing no look shots. Slicing their bodies open as sweets splash out instead of blood. Sour Paige is petrified and shoots with her mini gun with her eyes closed. She notices that she actually killed a few zombies. She starts laughing maniacally, going further in to the fight without us.

"Hey!" I shout, trying to call her back. I look over at Rocket. "Someone should go after her. I don't know if we can actually die in this fantasy or not."

Rocket has an emo zombie holding her from behind. She runs back into a wall, throwing him off. "She'll be okay. She always is," says Rocket.

I slice some emo zombies out of my way. I reach inside a meeting room. It's ten or so emo zombies sitting down around a table. Above them is the glowing pixelated bobble head twirling around like a hologram. I react first and throw my katana through the head of an emo zombie, pinning him against the wall. I fight them all. Blocking swipes of their guns from close range. Throwing an emo in front of me like a human shield. Kicking over chairs. It's a bloodbath of candy. The bobble head is gone. There's an emo zombie I've missed that's running away with it. I retrieve my sword from the wall. I leave that emo zombie alive. There's no time to finish him off.

I run after him. There's fighting all around us. The trench is full of it. The other girls are preoccupied. The emo zombie jumps on to a hanging rope. He gets pulled further into the sky. Closer to the fleeing blimp. I shoot at him. My gun's empty. He waves at me. He's getting further and further away. I've lost him. He's out of sight now.

Boom!

Mud splatters everywhere. A hole is gaping to my right. I turn around. A zombie, the one I kept alive, tried to take my head off with a rocket launcher. I stride towards him. He's panicking as he reloads. I slice his head off. I take his rocket launcher. I swing it around and aim at the blimp. I shoot. Fire blasts out from the side of the large flying ship. The blimp falls and deflates wheezing backwards and forwards as it dives towards the ground.

I jump over the trench. I run through no man's land. The emo zombie is falling with the item. I vault over the trench where he's landing. He drops just ahead of me. I corner him by the wall. I hold him by the collar and move for the item.

"Let him go!"

I turn around still holding him. It was an emo zombie who said that. They're soldiers everywhere. A horde of a hundred of them. Each and every one of them pointing their gun in my face. They tell me to drop my weapons. I drop my pistol. They take it away from me. The emo with the bobble head takes my two katanas out of my holster and joins his comrades. He holds my swords against me.

Think Maddie think. It's my fantasy. Maybe I make the rules. Staring at my hands I stick out my finger like a gun. Like Sergeant told me. I point it right at the emo holding my swords.

"Pew!" I say, shooting with my finger.

Bang. A hole pierces through his skull. Sweets flood out the back of his head. He throws the item high in the air. I hear shooting coming from behind me. Gun shots slaughter all of the emo zombies. Helmets and emo chains go flying. It was Sour Paige in front of Amber's mecha that did that. It wasn't my finger point. I don't make the rules in these fantasies, but I sure do dictate them.

The bobble head has been thrown really high. The emo zombies must have some super sonic strength. Amber turns her mecha robot around. I jump on it's back. The other girls hang on to the limbs of the robot. Amber shoots into the sky, with fire shooting out of the hands of the mecha. The bobble head's falling back down. I measure it. I catch the item with a solid grab. All the girls and I fly away from the battle.

I close my eyes as I grip the item.

I open my eyes.

We're in a cheerleader pyramid. I'm on the top with my hands gripping a bobble head. All five of us our panting, trying to find our breath back. The girls roll me down as they cushion my fall with their hands. Sour Paige walks away holding her head.

They all look stunned.

Blondie looks at me as they're all still holding me in their arms. "I think it's fair to say I believe you," says Blondie.

"Let's do it again!" shouts Sour Paige, jumping up and down.

The three girls drop me on my back in shock.

They look down at me to see if I'm okay. I start to laugh at Sour Paige. The girls join in too.

---

I can't get away from Counselor Stone's smiley creeper stare. I drop my stick I'm training with. I move right. He moves right. I move left. He moves left. The sun beats down on us. It's a random encounter I can't get away from. I'm in a role playing game it seems. My HP is in the corner of my eye in a long green bar. I've got the option to either fight or run. Counselor Stone keeps smiling at me. A box appears saying, 'I can't escape.'

"You don't say," I moan out loud, rolling my eyes.

"What was that?" asks Counselor Stone at me, readjusting his sweat band with a snap. "Maddie, it's a real pleasure having you here. I'm hearing nothing but good things from you."

Boxes appear under my peripheral. I've got some options to hit him back with. Shall I use sarcasm? Should I use sass? Or should I be a smart ass? Hmm. I choose sarcasm.

"Really?" I sigh, as I start to walk off.

"But!" says Counselor Stone, getting uncomfortably close to make me stop. "There is a tiny weeny nit pick I've got. Here in Cheerleader camp we pride on being one hundred percent true and honest with one another and I feel like you and the four girls, Paige, Amber, Rocket and Blondie are keeping something from me. Now, I trust that you aren't because that would be such a downer, and I know you girls are not like that, right?"

"Right," I reply.

I look away and my HP health bar has gone down by half.

"Because anything that goes against our rules like, I dunno, cheer leading at night when you should be sleeping, will automatically force me to, take you out," he says with a straight face.

"Take me out?" I whimper.

I'm all alone in the deep woods with him. No one would hear me scream. My health bar depletes faster. I've only got a quarter of health left.

"Yeah. Take you out of cheerleader camp, silly," says Counselor Stone.

"Oh, take me out of camp. True that," I reply.

Counselor Stone grins wildly and walks ahead of me back to camp. He's on to us.

I kick away the sticks I've been training with. I walk up to Coach Grundler's cabin. I knock a few times until she invites me in. She greets me. I sit on her long lounge couch and try to relax my body on it. I try to get Counselor Stone out of my mind.

"This is a nice surprise. So, how are things, Maddie? Are you coping well?" asks Coach Grundler, resting her hands under her chin.

"I don't know," I reply, looking up at the wooden ceiling. "I mean, I just talked to the Counselor and he—"

"What?" interrupts Coach. "Did he say something to you that was inappropriate? Did he hurt you? You can tell me."

"No, nothing like that," I reply, looking back at her. "He just mentioned home and I just. I don't know what's waiting for me out there. I'm so caught up in my fantasies." I stop. I look over at Coach Grundler whose taking this all in. "I mean, my friends are here and I'm forgetting everything else like this is all that matters."

"It's okay to wanna be with your friends or in your fantasies, whatever you call it," says Coach.

"No," I say, sliding up on the chair. "This is gonna sound crazy, but Blondie looks like someone I know, so does Amber and Rocket."

"Who do they look like?"

"Um," I ponder, thinking. Wait. I'm stumped. Come on. I know my own friends.

"What are their names?"

I don't say anything.

"What's the name of your school?"

"I don't know," I reply. "This is crazy! I know the name of my school, and the name of my school is." I stop. I'm blocked by a brick wall. I can't remember. I can't remember anything or anyone.

"Maddie, what's my name?"

"You're Coach Grundler. I hang around with Sour Paige, Blondie and the others. I know all that. I'm gonna have a baby sister. My mom. I don't know her name," I say, tensing my brain hard. I feel a trickle coming from my nose. It's blood.

Coach Grundler comes towards me startled and hands me a box of tissues. "Oh my god, are you okay?" she asks. I nod back. "Oh shoot!" she shouts. She reaches in her pocket and puts two nickles in her swear jar. She holds my head to feel my temperature. "What do you remember before going to camp?"

"It's in patches. Like, there's you being my doctor, you know in my fantasy, I mean this is the fantasy."

"No it's not. This is what's really happening. This is real," she says comforting me.

"I do remember I have a condition," I recall. I think back. Mr Seshadri's R.E class. People giving me an intervention. Kittens and blow bubbles. James Stone telling me I can't get mad ever again or else, "I'm gonna die."

"What?"

"I'm gonna die," I say again. Coach Grundler looks weirded out by me. "If I get mad one more time, I'm gonna die, but I don't want to. It's not fair." I feel my tears fall down my cheeks. I wipe them away with my fingers ignoring the tissues. "But maybe, I'm meant to, like I'm a sibling reincarnation of my unborn sister, and I'm meant to do something before I'm gone."

Coach Grundler looks at me oddly. She walks to her phone dialing with a rotary dial. "I'm gonna call the Counselor and ask what he said to you."

"No, please don't," I say, getting up on my feet.

"I have to. He's obviously said something to upset you," she says, putting the phone receiver to her ear.

I back out of the cabin. I walk back through the camp. I sit by a tree. I look at the lake.

"Hi," says someone, pulling at my arm. I look up but I stay sitting down on the ground. It's Sour Paige. She's holding her clarinet in her other hand. "All I've been thinking about is that fantasy we we're doing."

"You really like that thing, huh?" I ask, as I point at her instrument. She nods. "Did someone really important give it to you?"

"No," she replies, clutching her clarinet. "I don't have it because someone else bought it for me. I have it because I scrounged through all my pocket money for it. It's not just playing a clarinet. It transports me to a peaceful place. An easier place." Paige pauses as I stare at my converse shoes. "So, when are we gonna do it again?"

"Do what again?" I ask

"The fantasy?" she goes.

I hold my self together and smile. "What about now?" I sigh, getting up on my feet.

I tell Sour Paige to bring the other girls to meet me at our neck of the woods. Paige puts away her clarinet and runs back to camp. My smile fades when she leaves. I walk towards the spot we were at yesterday. Not as far as when Counselor Stone cornered me.

I sniff up some snot. I try to breath in and out.

Keep it together Maddie.

I hear the ruffling of leaves as I hear the girls come. They appear around me as I hide my face towards a tree.

"You been crying, Maddie?" asks Amber, peeking at my face.

"No," I reply, straightening my eyes up and blinking my tears away. "Don't be stupid, Amber. Why are you being so stupid right now? Honestly."

Rocket looks at me and then at the other girls.

Blondie looks concerned for a second. "Whatever. Let's get on with this."

We begin our cheer.

I close my eyes and open them again.

The forest has disappeared. I'm on a pier with the girls. The sky is a merky grey. We go towards the edge of the pier by the sea. There's a sailor waiting for us. It's my guardian angel again. I can't remember what his name used to be. My minds failing me again. The waves beneath us are rough, and behind him is a large sail boat.

"Aye dudettes!" the sailor says welcoming us.

Rocket sighs asking, "What do we have to do this time?"

The sailor laughs. "Let me tell you a story. I sailed once upon a time with the sun in my eyes and paranoia in my mind. There was a hundred of us. What we never anticipated though, was the sea monster."

"Sea monster?" Sour Paige asks.

"Uh-huh, dudette," he replies. "A hundred of us sailed out there. Thirty came back. The squids arms were everywhere. If you see the dead's of it's eyes, you're already dead."

I look out at the sea. "So, there's a big squid out there?" I ask.

"Not just a big squid. A kraken. The ultimate ocean-dwelling monster. It dictates the sea itself. The orc jocks are in pursuit of the rubber duck you are trying to retrieve too."

The sailor lets us on the boat. With us girls on it, he begins to unravel the knot keeping it by the pier. He hands us over the anchor to put on the boat.

"Aren't you coming too?" I ask him.

"No dudette," the sailor replies. "This here's your fight. Oh, and one more thing. Remember. The world isn't a big creature that wants to swallow you whole. You can do what you want and dream about what you want. It's just that sometimes it makes you feel so small that you forget that you are an important part of what its made of."

The sailor begins to walk away. The boat departs from the pier. Were setting sail. Amber guides the boat from it's wheel. Rocket goes up higher on the boat to spread the sails. Nothing but sea around us.

A large horn roars beside us.

"What was that?" asks Sour Paige.

The smog clears and another dark boat emerges. It's pitch black. It gets closer and closer to us until it's touching our boat.

Monsters with grey skin stare back across at us. Twenty or so of them. All of them with big protruding teeth, like large devil horns where their lower teeth should be. They have strong armor and cut up football varsity jackets. It's what the sailor warned us about. Orc jocks. They latch ropes pulling their boat even closer as they jump over making war cries. All in a neat line, almost like they're in formation or something.

Orc jocks board our ship with their axes. They swing at us. Their weapons raised in the air. I pull out my twin katanas. Paige and Blondie jump in and fight them off. Orcs go flying off the boat into the water. An orc jock reaches up to me. We collide our weapons together. He pushes me to the other side of the boat. I get up. He charges at me. I lift him up as he descends into the water too. The boat begins to rock side to side. The release of gun powder from a cannon puffs in the air. The boat's being hit with cannon footballs. Rocket spins down from the rope and kicks a few orcs in the face. She gets picked up off the ground and held up in the air. Blondie gets pushed on to the floor. Paige is nowhere to be seen. A bunch of orcs corner me. I'm out numbered.

There is a loud piercing scream from the sea. It didn't sound human.

Everyone stops still.

The boat is rocked again. But it's not football cannons. I peer down on the side of the boat. The ocean is swirling around a whirlpool like the drain of a bath tub. What's happening? Long tentacles wrap around the orc jocks who were surrounding me. It pulls them across our boat. It moves other orc jocks away from me. The large monster emerges out of the sea. It's bigger than our ship. It has spikes with jagged edges. Arms stretching out taking out everything in sight.

The orcs jocks are retreating. All my girls reappear. Sour Paige is back.

"Hey!" Amber shouts, looking across at the orc jocks running away. "The kraken's on our side."

I smile. I feel my tummy tighten. I gasp out air.

"Maddie!" Rocket shouts, holding her face.

I'm grabbed by the kraken. The cold wet tentacle is around my body. I'm getting dragged across the boat. Crap. I grasp at anyone. At anything.

"I so regret on what I said about hentai!" I shout, holding on to the side of the boat.

Rocket and Sour Paige run up to me. They each hold my arms. They try to pull me back up.

"Guys! Take the key and the bobble head!" I shout back, feeling nothing but hopelessness. Blondie and Amber take my items out of my pockets. "Have a good life. It's been real."

Blondie pulls Sour Paige from behind by her waist. "Shut up!" she shouts back at me. "We're not gonna let you get taken."

"And guys," I sigh, staring back at them. "Whatever happens. Don't let anyone make tentacle fan art of this."

They loose their grips. I'm grabbed higher in the air. I'm upside down. I see the mouth of the kraken and it's millions of teeth. It's eyes are nothing but black. It lets me go. All fall into it's mouth. The girl's cries disappear. I slide through it's tongue's taste buds. I hold on to the boxing bag thing at the back of it's throat.

The pit of its stomach below me is bubbling like lava. There are dead orcs jocks in the pit of it. There's something sparkling down there. It's the rubber duck. I drop down with all the style I can muster, avoiding the Kraken's stomach acid.

I swing around the rib cage until I grab the rubber duck. It's not over. I guess, I gotta get on out of here. I climb back up the stomach. I hang on to the mouth opening like before. How am I gonna get out of here? My hair brushes near the back throat of the kraken. It's too slippery to climb up.

It roars. I keep holding on to the back of it's throat. The lava beneath is splashing all over the place. That wasn't a roar. I think it was a sneeze.

I get ready. I tickle the back of it's throat with my hair again. The Kraken's winding up. The mouth's open. I get sucked out, past the tongue and out through it's mouth.

I land horribly on the ship.

The monster sinks down into the ocean again.

"Maddie!" Sour Paige shouts, running up at me. She stops and backs away. "I'd hug you. If you weren't completely covered with saliva, and you weren't just inside the Kraken's mouth."

"Don't worry about it," I moan, getting up on my feet.

I hold the pixelated rubber duck in my hand. I close my eyes shut. I wait. I open my eyes again. That's strange.

"What's wrong?" asks Amber.

"We're supposed to be back in camp by now," I say.

Blondie throws a bucket of sea water on me. I stand still, shivering. Ugh! A heads up would have been nice. I wipe my face clear.

I stare up and see a long bridge across the sea. There is no start and no exit to it. It's stretches into what looks like forever.

"Let's get on that bridge," I suggest.

We don't let the ship stop by using an anchor. We climb up to the highest point of the ship. One by one we jump on to the mysterious bridge that just seems to be built right in the middle of the ocean. There's cars driving by on it.

A car transforms into a robot in front of us. What the heck? It fires at us.

"Well, this sucks," I sigh.

Rocket gets shot point blank. She falls off the bridge.

"Rocket!" yells Sour Paige, looking over the bridge to spot out where she landed.

Blondie pulls her back from the edge of the bridge. There are cars still driving by. We can't tell which car will turn into a robot or not. Amber runs in front of a car. She throws the driver out of the driver's seat. The four of us go inside it. Amber takes the wheel. Sour Paige in the passenger seat. Blondie and me at the back. Another robot comes towards us.

I move to the outside of the car. There's a better angle on Blondie's side. I take out my pistol.

"Hey! Watch it!" moans Blondie, as I climb across her.

"Sorry," I say.

I dangle my body out of the window and shoot at the robot. It jumps from car to car. It throws cars at us. Amber dodges the on coming collisions. I climb out the car window. I stand on the roof of the car. I deal with the smaller robots as they hop from car to car. A larger robot is ahead of us. There's a girl on it's back, riding it. Someone I know. Someone I actually remember. The last person I saw before I left high school. Kumiko. It's slowly coming back to me.

I'm back at camp. What's going on? Are my memories fading? I'm back in the woods with the girls. We're in the middle of our cheer. It's all hazy. I'm back on top of the car racing down the bridge highway. I'm moving in and out of fantasies. Counselor Stone grabs Blondie by the hand. She shouts back at him. It's all fuzzy. I can't really hear what she's saying.

"You drove me to this," Counselor Stone goes, holding her arm. "I'm initiating plan P."

"What dat mean?" snarls Blondie.

"Your parents," Counselor Stone replies. "I called them. You're going home. All of you."

I'm on the top of the car again. I look back down at the back seat of the car. Blondie's vanished. There's a bright white flash. Amber disappears. Now no ones driving the car.

Sour Paige looks worried at me. She's still locked down with her seat belt. She rolls down the window with a button.

"Amber got taken!" yells Sour Paige at me.

"Yeah! I saw!" I yell back.

"I can't drive!" says Sour Paige.

"Neither can I!" I reply. I lay flat down on the roof of the car. I put my hand through the window, and on the steering wheel. Kumiko's still shooting at us. I dodge the cars in front of us. "You see what I'm doing, Paige? Just keep the wheel straight, okay?"

"Okay!" she replies, moving over to the driver's seat.

I shoot back at Kumiko's robot. Paige swings the car erratically. I jump on to another car. Then another car. Kumiko shoots missiles at me again. I somersault over the robot. I drag my katanas across it still in mid air. The robot explodes. I feel myself getting blown away. I find myself rolling on the top of a lorry. Kumiko falls and lands on her feet. She's way more graceful than I am.

Kumiko tilts her head down at me. "And then there were two," she says with a evil grin.

I get up. I pause and look at Kumiko. I sigh. I fiddle in my skirt pocket and pull out my phone. I stick up my index for her to wait.

Kumiko frowns. "That's the only problem with technology, if there ever was one. It gives you white girls an excuse to act so self entitled," Kumiko sneers.

She gets closer.

"Hold on," I say, checking out the story on my cellphone. "I'm on the last chapter of a 'friend's secret' recess fan fic. Hear this. Lawson slumped into TJ's arms weakly, feeling comfortable in his lover's embrace. TJ slowly bought Lawson over to the bed, and—Wow!" I stop. I scroll through my phone. "Naked at the same time. Lowered himself. Licking and nipping. TJ drew in a breath as the tightness sheathed his—Oh gosh!"

"What is it?" Kumiko asks.

"I can't say," I reply.

"Why not?"

"Because," I say back. Kumiko looks mad at me. I go on. "Nothing's real, Kumiko. I'm convinced that none of this real. I'm sure that this is all fiction. No. Fan fiction. I've been reading these stories about people I'm sure I've known before. I'm dipping in my past time."

"You're trying to stall me."

I shake my head. "The fan fic we're in right now is rated T. We're not allowed to swear or go into any racy adult situations, like in this m & m I'm reading. Speaking of m and m, if I'm a minor character, you're just a minor minor character. You're only used for exposition. I'm lucky I even get my own chapter."

"Nonsense. We can swear if we want to," says Kumiko.

"Nah. We can't. I tried to swear back at camp. It just came out as tame little curses."

"Fuuu! Shiii! Fuuu! Ugh! Fudge sticks!" Kumiko stutters out. She takes out her pink lightsaber in frustration. The pink laser shines shimmers against her face. "Damn you!"

"I hate how cool that looked just now," I say, as I take out my two katanas from my back.

"A samurai blade can't test a lightsaber," Kumiko says.

"It can so," I argue.

"Nu-uh."

"It can too."

"It's scientifically implausible. Light sabers heat up at 15,000 °F. They can cut through anything. Plus. It can not, plus infinity."

"It can too infinity, plus one," I reply.

Kumiko narrows her eyes.

I run towards her. I swing my swords. Kumiko's lightsaber slices straight through them. I'm just holding handles now.

"Doesn't it get kinda annoying being right all the time?" I ask.

"Nope," she replies, with a smile.

I dodge Kumiko's attacks. Her light saber makes vwongs. I back flip away. I take out my pistol. I shoot. Kumiko reflects the bullets with her lightsaber. They rebound back at me. I duck away from my own bullets.

"Okay then," I say, putting my gun back in my holster. "Apparently you shouldn't bring guns to a sword fight."

Kumiko drop kicks me off the lorry. I'm hanging on to the edge. Kumiko stands over me. I pull at her feet. She drops on her back. Her lightsaber falls away from her grasp. I drop to one hand grip as I dodge her saber as it falls on to the traffic. The lightsaber slices cars open. Cars explode behind us. I lift myself back up. Kumiko jumps back up herself. We go blow to blow. She kicks at me. I block with my arms. She hits me over and over. I spin Kumiko around and jump on her back. I dip my finger in my mouth and give her a wet willy. She flips me over and locks my arms in a grapple. I pull at her hair but I lose my grip. Her hair is too short. She shrugs me off again. She round houses me on my back.

"You're just a cheerleader," Kumiko laughs down at me. "You're so predictable."

"Predictable?" I go, getting on my feet. "I'll show you predictable."

I nod a beat in my head. I start to clap. I make letters with my hands.

"Give me a B, give me an I, give you a T-C-H right in the face," I start. I put Kumiko in a headlock making a B shape, I turn back upside down with a kick under her chin making the letter with an I, forming the letters T, C, and H separately with my hands. "Give me an I, give me a F, with an I-C on the cake." I give her an uppercut making an I, then a double punch to the chest making an F, then I and C with my hands. "A kick, a twirl, a slap to make you unaware of where you've went." A roundhouse kick, a spinning kick into a twirl, a slap across her face. "Give me an A, give me a T, an I-O-N, clap, message sent!" I put my hand in together in a prayer as I arch it into an A as I poke her eye, a punch across her face and an upside down diving kick making a T, I then write in the air I, O and N.

Kumiko lands defeated. "What does that spell?" she asks, laying on her back.

"Look who doesn't know English fluently anymore," I tease, standing over her. I peer down at my holster. I take out my pistol and point it at her face. "Silly me. I completely blanked. I forgot that I'm the one with the gun."

"Maddie wait!" yells Kumiko.

"What is it?" I ask.

"You don't wanna kill me."

"I don't?"

"No. I take back what I said. You're more than a cheerleader. In fact, you're a very honorable opponent. I think we've both learned that by becoming friends we can achieve so much more. I think we both know its more important in the long run and we are a lot more fortuitous to have each other than we think. I think one day we're gonna laugh—"

I pull the trigger, blasting her face into sweet pieces as they bounce off of my face.

"Oh sorry," I say, lowering my gun looking at her limp headless body. "I get bored really easily."

The selfie stick appears in the air. I grab it.

I close my eyes.

I open them. I'm back in camp. Sour Paige is next to me.

"Paige! You're still with me, by my side!" I say.

"Obvi" she says in a huff, holding her hips in a sway as she mimics the way cheerleaders speak.

"Let's go," I chuckle back at her.

Blondie's mirror is on the ground. She must've dropped it when Counselor Stone took her away. I pick it up. I grab Sour Paige by her arm. We run out of the woods. Sour Paige connects Blondie's mirror with the selfie stick. She pushes me up against a tree. What's she doing? She looks deep in my eyes. She's holding me close. She isn't about to kiss me too is she? She puts her finger on my lips. She lowers us to the ground. She sticks out the selfie stick. On the reflection of the selfie stick, Counselor Stone is looking for us. We can see him from around the tree. We maneuver away. He doesn't see us. He walks ahead us.

We go towards the lake. I climb up the tree and help Sour Paige up too. We reach near the top. There's branches in front of us we could swing on. I untie my pink head ties. I wrap it around the bobble head. I swing it around my head and connect it on a tree branch. The camp people are under the tree. They start to climb up to stop us.

"They're coming," Sour Paige says, grabbing me close. She kisses me on the cheek. "Good luck."

Here goes nothing. I brace myself. I swing on the branch. We glide across the lake. We fall in awful landing. We're on land. We made it. We're on the other side of camp. There is a sealed chain link fence in front of us. A lock sealing it closed. Cheerleader camp is now on the other side of the lake.

Now to open the lock. I search in my pockets. All of my pockets. My heart starts to beat hard. I ruffle inside my hair. I take off my shoes and search inside my soles. Oh no! My heart is thudding like crazy.

"Where's the key?" Sour Paige panics at me.

I don't have it. Sour Paige looks in her pockets too. What are we gonna do? On the other side of the lake I can see Amber. She's holding something shiny in her hand. Oh yeah. Amber and Blondie took the items off of me when I got taken by the Kraken. Amber's shouting something back at me but I can't hear her. It's too far for her to throw the key. It might fall into the lake. Blondie runs away from the camp counselors. She takes the key off Amber. She attaches it to something small and yellow. She tears some tape with a rip of her teeth. Blondie balances what looks like the rubber duck on the lake. Her parents take her away as she shouts in delight at us both.

Sour Paige beams a smile at the approaching small toy. The rubber duck comes towards us across the lake. It reaches us both. I pick it up. The keys on it and the duck had enough buoyancy to make it all the way to us. There's a little hand held fan taped on to the bottom of it.

I turn back at the chain link fence and open the lock. It clicks. It works. We open the door slowly together. We peer around it. There are small huts. The sounds of instruments being played. Boys just walking around. We move away from the door and sneak behind a hut. There are some spare instruments under a shaded tree.

"I think I know what I need to do," I sigh.

"Maddie don't," Sour Paige whispers back, having read my mind.

"We made it all the way here. We can't stop now. I'm gonna distract the boys, so then it's a chance for you to take those instruments and enjoy your time here, and not be cramped up in a happy go lucky camp that doesn't let you find your wings. You don't even like cheer leading, do you?"

Sour Paige shakes her head.

I go into the open.

"Hey Maddie."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," says Sour Paige, ready to go. "For everything."

"Hey!" I shout, walking into the open.

Sour Paige takes her opportunity to find the instruments she wants to play with.

"How the—?" goes a boy, stopping still. "How the heck you get here?"

"It's totally freaking you out right now, isn't it?" I ask him, as more boys swarm around me. "A cheerleader in Boy band camp! Woooo."

Another boy looks over at me asking, "Are you okay? Your nose is bleeding a lot."

"What?" I say. "No. I can't be. I ain't even mad this time." I wipe my nose. There's blood on my fingers. I sigh. I turn back to you, the reader, whose reading this. "Really?"

I pass out.

---

I open my eyes.

There's a boy staring over me. I'm on a bunk bed. This teenager looking over me looks familiar. How Blondie, Rocket, Amber and my guardian angel all look familiar. He has light brown hair. Bright blue eyes. Distinctive freckles on his face look like candy bars. What does he want with me? He gives me a smile with his chubby cheeks. I kinda don't feel so worried anymore.

Is he this TJ I've read so much about?

"Howdy," he says, welcoming me as he moves away from my face. His stethoscope swings around his neck. He's looks like he's rushed to the lost and found to look like my doctor. "There you are. You gave us quite a scare, you know?"

"Where am I?" I ask, lifting my head up on a pillow.

Everything in this hut smells of boy.

"Band camp. For boys. I can't believe you made it over the lake by yourselves," he says, exposing his teeth with a laugh.

"Where's Paige?"

"Oh, she's fine," he says. He moves to the side. The door is open. Sour Paige is playing instruments with boys under the tree I helped her sneak to. "She's real good on the clarinet. Crazy good. They even said they might make Cheerleader camp and Boy Band camp join together and become one now. Especially seeing as they caught Counselor Stone, and the strange thing is, we didn't even suspected he—"

"What are talking about?" I ask.

"Oh yeah. You don't know, do you? The police came and arrested him for spying on the campers. We got justice for something that wouldn't of even happened if you didn't make such a commotion."

"Ugh!" I scoff. "I knew he was a creeper, but, wow. I can't believe he spied on the girls like that—"

"Whoa!" he goes, putting his hand out at me. "When I said camper I don't mean you campers. I meant the boys. He spied on the boys. Cameras in the bunk beds and other weird places. All the kink shaming material found on the hardware of his computer was of us in Band Camp."

"Oh, well then that's, still bad," I reply.

"This is a crappy way to transition and I don't know how to put this to you lightly without freaking you out, but, we're kinda supposed to kiss. One girl gets chosen to kiss a boy each year from each camp. It's sort of a tradition. We're supposed to be on a boat thingy and meet between the lake separating each other. Its supposda to show unity and all that crap, but it's more like a kiss and diss rumor mill scenario."

"Is that why you're wearing that around your neck?" I say, looking at his stethoscope dangle. "We playing doctor or something?"

He's that Boy Wonder Counselor Stone and Rocket were talking about on my first day.

"No. Heck no," he says, taking the stethoscope off. "My friends put it on me. No, all I want is just to meet the real you. You know? That intangible awesome spark that makes you you. Something more than just a kiss."

"You seem really nice. You want me to lie to you?"

"No. You're cute. Really cute. It's I—I—okay, look. You could look back at this in our fifties and be like, that one time in band camp, that totally awesome boy I hooked up with was a time to savor and I can be like, Maddie was that super hero girl that swung across the lake to meet me. A time to remember."

"Funny. But, I'm not—"

"We look back when this time right was the world to us. When we were young and free and we had all the time to just just fall in love, fall out of it and fall under it again. Experience a moment in time no one can take away from us."

"Are you for real?" I laugh.

Boy Wonder gets closer to me. "This is it, right? Taking nothing for granted. Feeling every moment. Otherwise, like a simple poof, everything goes and you're left there with just you. That's the real retribution. Recognizing whats here now before it fades away. Reward and punishment. I know most guys will say just about anything just to add to their make-out tally. But that isn't me. So, I'm here as a boy asking a girl—"

"Right you are."

"To share a moment with me. Not a romantic romp but a photogenic pucker. To not forget it. To really pay attention to everything and just wake up."

I sigh. He seems safe enough. I guess he did ask really nicely and he did look after me after I passed out. I could put being only into girls to the side. He leans towards me. We kiss with our lips meeting together.

Boy Wonder holds my head up and stops kissing me. "You hear me?" he asks. "Wake up. Wake up."

---

"Wake up, wake up, wake up," whispers Paige to me, holding my hand on the side of my hospital bed.

"What? I'm up," I yawn.

"Maddie! Hey! She's awake!" Paige goes.

"Honey!" says a someone else at me.

I'm on a bed in what looks like an institution. Not quite a hospital. There's 'Get well soon' cards on the desk draw beside me. It like it's from all of my friends. There's food left uneaten left there for me. Some homework assignment left there too.

"What's all this?" I ask. "Whoa. How long was I out?"

"Five days," Paige replies. She looks like her old self. Mad scruffy hair and glasses. "All your friends were here. Spinelli, Gretchen and Molly came. Dr Grundler a few times. Guru kid was here, oh my gosh, he's changed hasn't he? I don't know the name of your other friends. One was dressed in funny bright clothes that sort of looked rough at the same time. Then a group of them who visited you were wearing just black. Then the jock boys were here, oh yeah, I know Vince LaSalle and that one boy Troy was funny. Then these girls and boys who spoke some Japanese with each other came to see you. I learned a few things from them. I speak some Japanese now, but I'm not fluent. And guess what, Maddie?"

"What?" I ask back.

"I'm cured. I don't have multiple personalities anymore," she replies.

A woman with a pregnant belly bump looks over at me. "Paige has been by your side the whole time," she says.

"I had all my therapy sessions right here," Paige continues, "I felt so guilty for putting you in here."

"Don't say that," I reply. "That's not true. I think I heard you the entire time. I mean, it was a bit different, but I think something went in."

An old dude comes towards me. He has a stethoscope down on the table. He must be my doctor. "You've made a remarkable recovery considering the emergency surgery," he says.

"Surgery?" I ask.

"Yes," Doc replies. "We commenced brain surgery and it was successful as you must be feeling notably a bit drowsy. I'm happy to say though, that now you can be as angry as you wish with no worry."

The pregnant lady interrupts again. "Can I take her back home?" she asks the doctor.

"Usually I'd give my patients more time for their rehabilitation, but for Maddie, I see no reason why she can't," he replies.

"Who are you?" I ask him.

"I'm Dr B. Winder," he replies, "I performed your surgery."

Dr B. Winder? Boy Wonder. Ugh! No.

"We didn't kiss, did we?" I ask him.

"No," he replies, shuffling his eyes confused looking at the others around the room.

"Oh thank god," I sigh. I look at the woman in front of me. "Who are you?"

"What?" she replies.

I repeat myself.

"Stop it, Maddie," she goes on. "I'm your mom."

"I—I—I've never seen you before in my life," I say, trying to rack my brain.

Paige gets up into my face. "I don't think she's joking. You know me don't you?" Paige asks.

"Yeah. Paige," I reply.

"Hmm, interesting," the doctor goes. He lifts my head up. He whips out a tiny torch and checks each of my eyes. "There seems to be some side effects."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" the woman replies. "What's happened to my Maddie?"

"She's still your daughter, Miss Feldman. It might have to take something to trigger her memory back. A phrase. A picture. A person. I suggest she takes it slow readjusting back to society. You don't want her looking blankly and not knowing people she might have known for years," the doctor explains.

I get discharged.

---

I'm driven home. It's weird to call this lady, mom, so she says it's okay to call her by her first name instead. Scarlet.

She drops me outside of a moderate sized house. I must live here then. I go to the front door.

Scarlet stops me from turning it. "Take the first couple days easy, okay honey?"

I nod. I open the door.

"Baby doll!" this guy yells at me. "Hows my American teen bombshell doing? You cause a ruckus like we said you would? Your mom is telling me you've turned worst than vegan, you've turned into an actual full vegetable." He knocks my head with his knuckles. "But that's better left seeing to believing."

I turn towards Scarlet. "Whose this jerk-off, and why is he talking to me?" I ask her.

"Maddie," the guy sighs. "You haven't changed. You got me worried." He turns to Scarlet. "You both had me going there."

Is he my brother? He must be. He's wearing a jock varsity jacket with X high school on it. It's bright red with a lobster emblem on it.

"He's your dad," Scarlet explains, closing the front door.

I looks at this guy again. He looks so young though. I'm so confused.

"I know I lost my memory, but I know for a fact he's not my dad," I say, shaking my head.

"Okay," says Scarlet. "Meet your stepdad, Dustin."

I lift my hand out to Dustin. "Oh. Sorry for calling you a jerk-off. I'm Maddie. Nice to meet you," I say, shaking his hand. "I'm going out."

I need to get out of here. I swing a coat on.

"Where?" asks Scarlet.

"To see Paige. She stayed with me all that time," I say. "She's my girlfriend. I think. A part of her is. I think."

Scarlet takes the coat off my shoulder. "First things first. That's my coat," she explains. "I should be looking after you, but if you want to go, I'll get your coat for you."

Scarlet goes upstairs. Dustin is looking at me funny. I smile back at him. This makes him look even more lost for words.

"Thanks, mom," I say, taking my coat this time, walking to the door.

"Maddie. Thanks for calling me mom," she replies.

There's a portrait by the door left on the cabinet table. It's a photo of me and my real dad. It's coming back to me. I remember him. I stroke my finger at the picture of him. I turn back at my mom and smile back.

"Bye Dustin," I say, going to the door.

"You still won't call me your—!" he says out load in a huff, as I shut the front door behind me.

I take out my cellphone. I flick my contacts. I have so many contacts. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Dustin, Gus and its just going on and on. I stop on Sour Paige's number. Spinelli is the name underneath it.

I call Paige.

"Hey, it's me," I say.

"Maddie, are you all right?" Paige asks back.

"Yeah. I wanna see you, so call me back, yeah?"

"No need. I'll text you my address. We can meet there."

We say bye to each other.

I walk through the town. There's a Quick-O mart. I walk towards the door ready to push it, but the door opens up automatically. I walk inside.

"Hey! You're back!" says the female clerk to me. "Mikey doesn't eat half as much without you were here setting the pace for him. Spinelli's been pretty lost, without you here being her wing girl. It seems like so much is going down at your school. You know what I mean, right?"

I don't know who she is for the life me. She obviously knows who I am. She's my age, maybe a year older. Brown hair and light freckles around her nose and face.

I nod back.

"Right, you know?" she carries on. "I was gonna visit ya, but you can never trust those mental places. But now you're probably thinking I'm some chump who doesn't check up on their friends. I hear that. So, you want the usual? A box of Winger Dingers, pork chips and a can of whip cream to spray directly into your mouth?"

I shrug. The clerk girl rubs my shoulder and gets lots of snacks on the counter, still jabbering away at me. I move to the cooler of drinks. I gloss away from the cans of soda and move to the strong drinks. The alcohol. I don't recognize the clerk girl. I don't recognize anyone. If I organize a party and invite everyone it will jog back my memory. It's worth a shot. This cashier girl knows me, so maybe she'll let me buy these. I grab random bottles of beer and vodka.

"What the heck, Maddie?" asks the clerk girl. I hear the shop sliding doors open. "You know I can't ring those up for you. I can't even sell alcohol myself, I'd have to ask the owner in the back to do it for me. I cherish your bad streak right now, but do you know how hard it is to swing this job without being a direct descendant of his? Really hard."

Dustin stands there. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm sorry," I say, backing away from the counter.

"No, you stop right there," says Dustin in a serious tone. "I'm sorry. I've been a bad stepdad. It's probably why you've blocked out all memory of me."

"You can't be that bad," I reply.

"I've covered the toilet boil with cellophane before you used it. I've written baby across your forehead in permanent ink when you were sleeping. I let some of my blood brothers give you a mud monster—" he says.

"Huh?" I ask.

The clerk girl raises her eyebrows. "It's when after you've just had a shower someone hands you a towel you think is clean and its totally covered in mud," she explains.

"You actually weren't that mad at me that time because you used it as a mud mask to catch some sun with," Dustin adds. "But that's the old me. I know I can't replace your real dad, so I wanna make it up to you. Starting now."

"That's so sweet," I say. "I'm sorry for all these drinks. I don't know what's getting into me."

'I'm sorry. I don't know what's getting into her' is ringing in my head. Dustin said that when he was holding me back after he dropped me off at the mental institute. I remember now. He's that boy toy mom keeps around. Dustin.

I've remembered Dustin before my own mom. That's tragic.

Dustin smiles. "That's okay. I'll buy them for you. I'll do anything you want."

"You dick!" I yell, hugging Dustin tight. "You're buying drinks for an underage minor. Oh, I've missed you."

Dustin looks at me confused as I let go of the hug.

"I remember you," I explain.

"No way!" he says, with a wide grin. "Everything's back or—?"

"No. It's sorta fuzzy still. You're the first person I remember now, besides Paige. Oh crap! Paige! I'm meant to be meeting her at her house."

"I'll drive you," says Dustin. "What's all the bottles for anyway? You going on a bender?"

"I'm having a party, duh," I say.

"Can I come to it later?" asks the clerk girl. She puts her head to the side and calls her boss from the other room. An older Indian man comes out. Dustin buys the drinks and snacks for me.

"Sure," I say to her. "What's your name?" I ask. She looks bewildered like I should know her. "You know, in case I'm gonna do a V.I.P list?"

Good save.

"It's Sue Bob Murphy. That's a Sue with an E and Murphy with a PH, no F," she replies.

---

I'm in Dustin car. He drives me outside of Paige's place. I step out. Dustin says he'll stay and wait for me.

Paige has a large house. It's gigantic. On the lawn there's a picket sign saying that's it's being sold. The For Sale sign says Bouviere Estate Agency. I knock on the door. There's no answer. There's no doorbell. I push the door. It's open. I make my way inside. The staircase is way fancy. There must be three floors in this house. I stroll into the wide open space of the living room. Swanky. Inside, there are a lot books with it's own library. More books than Gretchen's house, much more. Gretchen? I know her. I take out my phone and look for Gretchen Grundler. I remember her.

Paige is talking to someone. The lady she's talking to looks professional with a suit piece, holding a filter coffee.

"We're not gonna live here anymore?" asks Paige to this older lady.

"Hasn't anything gone in there?" the woman replies. Look, Paige, honey. People move on. Life moves on. This house is primal real estate. Let mommy take care of it, okay? Just lock yourself in your room. I've left it just the way it was. You'll cry away and forget all about this."

"Whoa lady! Back off!" I say, to who must be Paige's mom.

"Excuse me? Who are you?" her mom barks back.

"Me? I'm an all-out GWA. A girl with an attitude. Better yet," I say, getting closer up in her space. "I'm your daughter. Only in this scenario, I break the rules, I bring boys over, I come home late and I have a friggin' fun time, okay? I don't know what legit happened here, but I know you're as much the reason Paige is like this than what happened to her at school."

The mom stares at me with a dark scorn. Her phone goes off and she answers it. "Hello?" she asks, putting her finger out at us to wait, "Mhmm. You've got the property papers? That's wonderful. I'm on my way." She puts her cellphone back in her pocket. She turns to Paige. "See you, hon. If this deal goes through I'll be the top seller of my firm. Take this." She hands Paige some money. "If I knew you'd be coming I would have more on me. Take care of the house before the new owners come to takeover."

And like that, Paige's mom is out the door and gone.

"Thanks," says Paige to me.

"It was more for my benefit really," I reply. "Your mom has some serious dragon breath. I just had to slay it." Paige chuckles and stares back at me holding my hand. "This isn't my story. It's not about me. I think I was always meant to help you. It just took me a long time to realize it. Sometimes guardian angels aren't always fairies or an old wise African American like they are in the movies. They could be a teenage girl too."

I go up to Paige's room. The room is blank. All her things are in boxes. I take out her laptop from one of them. Flashback. I'm in my own cramped up bedroom at home, doing the same thing. I remember. The same thing happened to me, but instead of being replaced by a baby sister, Paige is moving out of her whole house.

I put Paige's laptop on to her lap as I sit on the edge of her bed next to her.

"Okay," I say, stretching my fingers out. I log on to Friendsite. "Firstly, you're gonna add me as a friend."

"Done," says Paige, logging into her profile.

She searches Maddie Feldman and clicks add. I feel a rumble in my pocket. I go on my cell and accept her friend request. I search through my friends. I have 741. Now I have 742.

"Good," I say, getting off the bed as I pace back and forth. "Secondly, you're gonna create an event."

"What?" cries out Paige. "A party? Maddie, I don't know."

"Sour P, I don't like the way your mom talks to you, so what else is a better way to stick it to her? Plus, I'm desperate to get my friends back in my memory, pronto."

"So, do I add your mutuals as the guests or—?"

I look down at Paige's screen. She has only 19 friends to choose from, including me.

"Add me, I'll do the rest. Cool? Let's go."

"Thirdly?" Paige asks me. "What's the third thing? Books and speech patterns usually come in trilogies."

"I didn't think of one," I say, shrugging.

---

Paige and I go back and forth to the Quick-O mart. We have fun as we put up party stuff around the house. It's too big to disguise all the books with decorations so we leave it as it is. We put snacks on the table. Dustin brings in the drinks from his car and fills up the fridge.

The afternoon sun turns to night. People start to show up. The bell doesn't work so we have to keep the door slightly open. Boys and girls around about our teenager high school age turn up. The house is filling up with people. I recognize someone. A girl from my Friendsite and my phone when I was flicking contacts. She's shorter than me with black hair with an orange woolly hat on her head. Along with her is a large guy. He might be way older than us but his face is young. There's a short guy along with him with glasses and a girl with brunette hair.

I check my phone again for my contacts pictures. It's Spinelli.

"Hey guys," I say to them.

"How are you feeling?" Spinelli asks.

All her friends give me individual hugs. Spinelli gives me a little nudge punch on the arm.

"Oh, you know, better," I reply. The one girl I randomly remembered isn't here. "When's Gretchen coming?"

Paige nudges me with her elbow. "Hey, you remember Gretchen?" she asks me all surprised.

Spinelli shakes her head. "This ain't Gretchen's scene, Mad."

Some older guys come through the door with a beer keg.

"Erm, Maddie?" asks Paige, pulling me to the side as my friends make their way inside. "Did you just add your friends to my party or did you post my event as open to the public."

"Don't be silly, Paige," I reply. I check my phone on the event. It says hundreds of people are coming. The party is public. Paige was right. "Oops."

"Maddie," Paige goes, looking off to the side.

"Sorry," I reply.

"No," Paige says, still looking away from my eyes and at someone else. She's looking towards three girls dressed in pretty expensive looking blouses. One's in pink, one's in yellow and the other is wearing green.

"Is that them?" I ask Paige. Those are the girls that went to her middle school. I walk towards them. Paige doesn't move. I hold her hand and take her with me. "Come on."

"Hey Maddie," greets one of the girls at me whose wearing green.

The girls all hug me. Paige looks insecure standing beside me being, all ignored.

"Troy invited Vince and I, but I should of known it was your party," laughs the girl wearing yellow. "This is like, so you."

"I know, right?" I reply. I pretend to laugh and turn my head at Paige. "Who are they?" I whisper at Paige.

"They're all named Ashley," Paige whispers back.

"Oh, that's convenient," I reply, tilting my head back. I turn to them. "Ashleys. Do you have any idea what you did to my friend Paige?

The blonde Ashley moves her hair. "Who?" she asks, finally noticing Paige. "No, why?"

"You spread rumors in middle school and really hurt her," I explain.

The Ashley wearing yellow laughs again. "What are you talking about? You do that like, all the time at school."

"Yeah, well, I've changed my ways," I reply, in Paige's defense. "Yeah, that's right. Erm, you shouldn't kill a good girl's confidence just cause she's a nerd whose life goal isn't to get a boyfriend by senior year, and erm—"

"It's all right, I got this," Paige says to me. She looks at the girls. "Ashley A, Ashley B and Ashley T," she says to them in turns. "I've wanted to say how much I've hated what you did to me. I wanted you all to feel the pain I did when everyone made fun at how I'm different, but, now I don't care anymore. I like being different. Because when I get older I don't have to rely on my looks or my parents wealth to get me where I want to be. Not be entirely cynical. But. I feel sorry for you all. Caring about what boys think of you. Poking fun at other people's insecurities to make yourselves feel good. There was gonna be a third thing but." She turns at me and smiles. "Like you three, sometimes the best things don't come in trilogies."

Ashley B looks shocked at her. She turns at me. "Whose side are you on, Maddie? Us? Or Sour Paige's?"

"Don't call her Sour Paige," I say back at her.

"They can call me that," Paige says really softly with a sweet smile beside me.

"Uh, okay," I reply to her. I stare down at the Ashleys. "Then only I can call her that. So, if you don't mind, Sour Paige and I have a party to get back to and some friends to mingle with. Buh-bye now."

Ashley T shakes her head, walking away from us saying, "how could you, Mads?"

Ashley B storms off saying, "hope you two have a nice time together."

"Maddie," Ashley A says in a huff. "I've got just three words to say to you. I'm, like, so sure."

All the Ashleys have left us now. It's just me and Paige with the rest of the people in the party around us.

Will I regret that?

"Paige? Those were my cheerleader team mates I just told off, wasn't it?" I ask.

"Yep," Paige replies.

"Great," I sigh.

I go up the staircase alone. There are so many people here now.

I go inside the bathroom. I shut myself off from everyone until the music is just a hum under the door. I look back at myself in the mirror. I scream. I scream out all my frustration of feeling lost, incomplete and being unaware of people I should know. What kind of person was I before all this? I breath off the pace as I hyperventilate a bit. I take out rolls of toilet paper and dab my eyes so I don't destroy my make-up. Maybe I've rolled out too much TP. I throw all of it in the toilet bowl.

There's some pink ties in my pocket. I think the real Maddie would wear these. I put them on.

I look back at the mirror.

I'll get my memory back. I'll get it all back. Be twice the Maddie I was before. One day, one class, one cheer at a time.

I'll just do what any other bathroom model on Selfiepod would.

I'm gonna fake it till I make it.

**[PLAY SONG "Sleigh bells-Infinity Guitars" AT THIS POINT]**