HEEEY! It's been awhile hasn't it? Sorry 'bout that. I don't really have an excuse except laziness haha.

The next one is a parody of most songfics. Super sappy and cliché. Usually poorly written. BUT of course there many good ones deep in the bowels of Fanfic. Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: Chapter may include but is not limited to: Terrible lyrics, hearing loss, bloody punctured eyeballs, pulmonary distress, or death. Enjoy :)

P.S. Yes, I'm a Taylor Swift fan. People just put her lyrics in terrible fics.

[INSERT SAPPY, GOOEY TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS HERE]

Sam was sad. Her crush didn't love her back. Poor Sam. She likes to cry in a completely OOC way. Gawd she wished Freddie loved her back. This long, undetailed paragraph has nothing to do with the lyrics printed above and is full of grammar mistakes and spelling errors. Sam saw Freddie walking down the school hallway.

"O hai Freddeh!" she calls to him. Freddie stops and sits down next to Sam.

"Hello Sam. Why are you sad?"

"I'm sad because this paragraph has nothing to do with the lyrics printed above and I love you." Sam said. Freddie was suddenly angry as a biscuit.

"Sam! I love Carly and I will never love you!" Freddie screamed (A/N: Is it really necessary for him to scream?) Sam hung her head and pulled out a razor.

"I'm going to cut myself right in front of you." She sniffed.

[INSERT EMO LYRICS ABOUT CUTTING HERE]

"IT HURTS SO GOOOOOD!" Sam cried, cutting open her skin like a giraffe on a hot summer day.

"Sam, I'm going to ignore your cutting habits to add excitement to the climax when I slowly roll up your long sleeve shirt after a long, heartfelt discussion." Freddie said, turning his head away from Sam.

"Wuteva." Sam replied, stowing the razor back In her pocket, "I think I'll become a bulimic now."

"Okay."

[INSERT DEPRESSING LYRICS ABOUT DEATH HERE]

"I'm going to kill myself." Sam said to herself one day. She shuffled to the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of pills. "I think I'll do it in front of my friends too." She decided. She made her way over to Carly's house. She saw Carly and Freddie making out on the couch.

"OMG THAT WAS TOTALLY UNEXPETED EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR MONTHS!" Sam wailed. She swallowed the entire bottle of pills in one gulp. They all sat there silently and watched Sam die.

"OMGz! WHY AM I DYING?" she cried, falling to the floor.

"I guess I should react to your suicide now." Freddie sighed, "Oh no. Sam don't go we love you and stuff."

"I luff you Freddie." Sam said.

"Mmmhmm." Freddie hummed. Then Sam died.

"Man, why did she have to die on my new carpet?" Carly whined.

"Wanna watch TV?" Freddie asked Carly.

"Whatever." And that's what they did for the rest of their lives.

THE END.

P.S. I asked what movie the line "Go blue devils!" was from. AshesToAshes! You got it first! Congrats, here's some free internet! Enjoy.

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