Chell screamed and tumbled out of bed, hitting the floor with a muffled whump that tore the wind from her lungs. Adrenaline fought to clear her sleep-addled brain as she gulped for air, struggling with the sheets tangled about her legs. As she thrashed in a panic, an ovaloid head peered over the edge of the bed, bathing her in a harsh red glow.
Scrambling backwards on her backside, Chell hit the wall and got to her feet in a flurry of limbs. The thing tilted its head. Its eyes shone in her face, wiping out her night vision, and she blindly slapped the wall until she hit the light-switch.
When the lights flashed on, Chell suppressed a whimper and promptly wished they hadn't.
The thing on her bed was the size of a panther, a robotic construction that managed to look both crude and graceful at the same time. On all fours, it slinked to the floor with animal ease, its components creaking as if they hadn't been oiled in weeks. White metal plates protected its joints and chest, but the rest of its body was a bare gunmetal grey. Skeletal framework of titanium and steel was clearly visible— like an engineer had run out of material and never bothered to finish his creation.
And its head… that boggled Chell most of all. It looked like someone stuck a mini turret on the thing's shoulders and added a couple extra eyes. She thought she could see the fine joints where the metal plates opened, and Chell wondered if it could shoot bullets out of its face.
That's when she remembered she was naked.
Not that clothing would be much help against a mobile mounted machine gun. But it would be nice.
The thing prowled toward her and rose up on two feet, the joints in its pelvis shifting to accommodate bipedal locomotion. Towering over the woman, the thing leaned in close. Chell met its gaze, paralyzed with fear.
"Identification and employee serial code?"
Chell stared. It sounded almost pleasant— a heavily synthesized, vaguely masculine voice, but a calming octave clearly not meant to intimidate. Chell may have been reassured, if she weren't backed against the wall with no quick escape.
"Identification and employee serial code?" it asked again.
"I—" Chell sputtered and found her throat constricted and dry. She swallowed hard, licked her lips, and tried again. "I don't… don't have one."
"Subject lacks identification?"
"Chell?" she offered nervously.
"Please provide proof of identity and a valid employee serial code."
Chell wasn't sure, but she thought she heard a tonal shift in the thing's voice, a subtle change in its inflection that made the hairs on her neck prickle.
"I— I don't have any of that. I'm just… Chell."
The thing pulled away from her face and straightened, and when it spoke, she knew it was not talking to her.
"Subject cannot be identified."
A few moments of silence seemed to stretch for hours, and Chell's heart pounded anxiously against her ribcage. Abruptly, the thing's head jerked toward her, its voice no longer pleasant.
"Subject approved for termination."
Its head popped open just like a turret's, but instead of bullets, dozens of tiny needles pointed directly at her. Chell yelled in alarm and ducked as they fired, sticking deep in the wall like porcupine quills. She performed an awkward roll between the thing's legs and spotted the video monitor on the wall.
Chell dove for it and slammed every button on the monitor, frantically screaming, "GLaDOS!"
As the thing rounded on her and the monitor remained blank, Chell feared the AI didn't hear her— so when it flickered on and a single yellow optic glared at her in annoyance, the woman yelped for joy.
"You know, I'm not here to cater to your arousal, you— oh god. Chell, get out of there!"
The thing perked up a little at the sound of GLaDOS's voice, but it quickly refocused on Chell and moved to block the door.
"Having trouble with that!" Chell growled.
"Just— just hang on, I'm coming!"
The screen blipped and faded black, and the thing shifted to all fours in a fluid movement, cheapened only by the squealing of its gears. It inspected her with renewed interest, in a way that made Chell feel like a smear of bacteria pinned between two slides under a microscope.
"Subject is advised to remain immobile for the most effective termination results."
Oh, like hell.
Blade-like claws snapped from the thing's hands as it dropped into a crouch as if to pounce. Chell waited til the last possible moment, when she saw its weight shift forward— then she leapt sideways and screamed as pain lanced up her arm. She fell to the floor and heard a crash of metal behind her. One look confirmed the thing's claws were embedded deep in the wall, but it had managed to slash her left arm on the way past. Chell clutched the injured limb to her chest, unable to bring herself to inspect the damage. Blood seeping between her fingers was evidence enough.
She dragged herself to her feet, vision blurring as a surge of adrenaline flooded her system and dulled the pain. Acting on instinct, Chell snatched the portal gun off her dresser and brandished it threateningly. She never actually tried firing it at anything other than walls and floors before. She had been told never to look into or touch the operational end of the device. Maybe it would disintegrate that robotic horror.
That would be super helpful right now.
With a wild yell, Chell fired off a stream of portals at the thing, but the blueish globs of energy skittered off its metal hide. One ricocheted and struck the wall, opening a portal just behind her attacker. The thing ripped one clawed hand free and whipped towards her, struggling.
"Subject displays hostile intent. Termination elevated: purge level delta."
Chell decided it was in her best interests to not learn what that meant.
She gave a panicked shout and dove into the bathroom, slamming the door shut just as the thing tore free and launched itself at her. The door shuddered on impact. It was sturdy metal, but it wouldn't last long against that kind of onslaught. As if to drive the point home, its second attack left a massive dent, and one of the hinges twisted.
Chell slowly realized she'd trapped herself.
She backed against the far wall, watching the door shake under the thing's assault. Blood streamed down her arm and pattered on the tiled floor as she squeezed her eyes shut and fought off a wave of dizziness. Chell ignored the bloody handprints she left on the portal gun and the wall behind her.
… wait.
The wall.
The clean, white wall.
A smile crept to her lips. She spun around and shot an orange portal at the bathroom wall, stifling a cry of delight as the scene outside burst into view. The thing pounded into the door, its back to her. Silently as she could, Chell put down the portal device and snuck into the bedroom. On a table near the wall, her toolbox lay open, filled with various items she used for minor repairs. Chell selected a screwdriver and tip-toed up to the beast that wanted her dead.
"Hey there, fucker!" she said brightly.
The thing whirled around, and Chell was pleased to see confusion register in its glowing eyes before she drove the screwdriver into one.
The lens shattered and sparks spurted everywhere as Chell jammed the screwdriver deeper and wiggled it around for maximum damage. From its violent spasms, she presumed she hit something important. She staggered backwards as the robot collapsed, twitching and jerking like a dying insect.
Weariness swept through her like a tide as the adrenaline rush faded, and Chell sat hard upon the bed, head hung between her knees. Oh. That was a lot of blood on her arm.
And on the carpet.
And on the bathroom floor.
The apartment door burst open— GLaDOS, Atlas, and P-body stumbled into the room like some sketch from the Three Stooges. The android's expression was priceless, a portrait of absolute horror as her eyes darted between Chell and the convulsing robot on the ground. The woman imagined how she must look to GLaDOS— stark naked and bloodied.
Oh right, the blood.
That was quite a bit of blood, wasn't it?
Chell wobbled as a surge of dizziness struck her. Her vision fading around the edges, she managed a shaky grin at GLaDOS.
"I killed the bastard," she said with pride and promptly fainted.
.~.-*-.~.
Something tugged at her arm.
As Chell stirred into wakefulness, that sharp pinching and pulling was the first sensation she felt. She opened her eyes, but her vision swam, a nauseating swirl of colors and shapes. Chell squeezed her eyes shut again, though she did notice the gentle glow of two yellow eyes staring down at her.
That was comforting, at least.
Chell tried to speak, but it came out as a dry-throated groan. The tugging on her arm stopped. Something cold was pressed to her lips, and she gratefully accepted a few mouthfuls of some vaguely sweet liquid.
Tentatively, Chell opened her eyes again, and her vision seemed to settle into place this time, focusing on the impassive face of GLaDOS above her. She was cradled in the android's lap, still very naked. Had she felt better, that scenario might have played out in a delightfully sexy manner.
As it was, Chell just wanted to go back to sleep.
"What happened?" she croaked.
"You passed out. It was quite impressive."
The pinching at her arm resumed. Chell twisted her head to find out what it was and immediately wished she could forget. With delicate precision, GLaDOS sutured the gash along her arm, neatly puncturing her skin with a needle and surgical thread. The wound extended from wrist to elbow. Though half was already sewn up, the other portion was sliced open like a raw hot dog, the meaty insides disturbingly visible.
Chell buried her face in GLaDOS's breasts and tried not to retch as bile climbed her throat.
"I treated the wound with a coagulant and a rather potent numbing agent," GLaDOS calmly said as she worked. "Hopefully you can't feel this."
"Just pinching," the woman groaned.
"Mm. I suggest you refrain from looking again until I'm finished."
Chell whimpered pitifully and snuggled harder into GLaDOS's chest, avidly trying to ignore the pulling at her arm. The women sat in silence for several minutes, then Chell suddenly jerked upright, searching about the apartment with frantic eyes.
"That thing! That fucking robot— where is it!"
"Sit still."
Chell cowered and settled back down. One did not argue with that voice— it was a Bad Idea. GLaDOS pinned her with a hard-eyed gaze until she was satisfied the woman wasn't going anywhere, then she relaxed and continued stitching.
"Orange and Blue transferred it to a laboratory for me to examine later. Don't worry— you unequivocally fried its circuits." GLaDOS gave one last tug and snapped the tread, tying it off. "There. Mostly good as new."
Chell struggled to climb out of the android's lap, but GLaDOS pushed her back down. Reaching over to the nightstand, she came up with something that looked like a granola bar, but much denser. She placed it in Chell's hand.
"Eat," she commanded.
Chell sniffed it, took a hesitant nibble, and pulled a face.
"What is this?"
"An Aperture Science Enriched Nutrition Biscuit," GLaDOS said. She picked up a bottle labeled Aperture Science Electrolyte Beverage and stuck it in the woman's other hand. "Think of it as juice and cookies after a blood donation— except you didn't donate so much as leak everywhere."
Chell obediently chewed on the thick, gritty bar and washed each bite down with the electrolyte solution. "Are you actually mad I bled all over your carpet?"
"No."
GLaDOS fidgeted and wrapped her arm a little tighter around Chell's shoulders.
"I should have stayed the night," she said quietly.
Chell nearly choked on the last of her nutrition bar. She slid out of the android's lap and took her face in her hands, forcing GLaDOS to look her in the eye. "This wasn't your fault. You can't feel guilty for this."
"It could have killed you."
"You couldn't kill me— what chance did that piece of shit have?"
GLaDOS reached up and squeezed Chell's uninjured arm and gave her a tiny smile, but it just as quickly disappeared. "I wasn't paying attention to the camera feeds. I was so caught up with that stupid data— it shouldn't have snuck past me! I'm— I'm better than that."
Chell snuggled up against GLaDOS again and buried her nose in the crook of her neck. "Everyone makes mistakes."
"I don't."
"You're full of it."
GLaDOS huffed but did not argue the point, and Chell smiled when the AI rested her chin atop her head. Chell would be happy to remain in this embrace all day, perfectly content with the amicable silence— but something bothered her.
"GLaDOS… how did that thing get up here?"
GLaDOS hugged the woman to her chest, looking for all the world like a child with her beloved teddy bear. "It scaled the elevator shaft, as far as I can tell. It followed us."
"It… it asked me for identification. And an employee serial number."
"That sounds like security protocol." The android frowned, methodically rubbing her fingers through Chell's hair as she thought. "There's something else. Chell, it— it didn't just slip past my cameras. It disabled them. I don't know how, I haven't had time to check, but from the last timestamps I received… unless it was in several places at once, I believe there's more of them."
Chell seized up, digging her fingers into the fabric of the android's labcoat. "More? And they're just frolicking around Aperture?"
"No. I'm quite certain they retreated when you killed this one." GLaDOS's internal generator whirred louder, what Chell interpreted as an increased heartrate. "They're networked somehow. They're able to communicate."
"This just gets better and better."
Woman and android sat in silence, unwilling to leave the warmth of each other's bodies as they contemplated what all this meant. Finally, GLaDOS spoke.
"I watched the footage from your monitor," she murmured. "The way you killed that thing, all by yourself— it was… wow."
Chell twisted to face her and flashed the AI a cheeky grin. "Did it get you all hot and bothered?"
"Shut up," GLaDOS said, but failed to hide a smile. "Go shower. You smell like a compost heap."
"Yes, ma'am."
Chell crawled off the bed a little shakily, managing to catch the appreciative look GLaDOS gave her body before the android launched into her doctor's orders.
"Keep that arm out of the water as best you can. The numbness will wear off soon— expect some pain. I have antibiotics for you to take once you're finished bathing."
As Chell nodded and shut the bathroom door, she couldn't help but notice the worry that creased the AI's features.
.~.-*-.~.
Hot water melted the ache from Chell's muscles as she stood under the showerhead. Soaping up with one hand was a challenge, but she managed, and overall it was nice just to wash the sweat from her skin.
At one point, the bathroom door opened and her heart nearly stopped. But it was only GLaDOS. Through the distorted glass of the shower, Chell saw the android held a big, fluffy towel and stood immobile near the door— her own personal sentinel. It was strange how the supercomputer that once threatened her life was now the source of her safety and comfort.
Chell shut off the water, and GLaDOS wrapped her in the warm towel as she climbed out of the shower, patting her dry while she stood shivering on the bathmat. She found it highly unfair that she ought to be aroused right now, but felt only tired and small.
She wanted nothing more than to curl up in the android's arms and go to sleep, but GLaDOS handed her a neatly folded stack of clothing. It was clear she had bigger plans.
"Let's dissect a robot, shall we?"