Title: Come Undone
Author: claudia6913
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Hellmouth is closed, LA is no longer in danger. What is a Witch and a vampire with a soul to do? *Two Years Post Not Fade Away*
Disclaimer: I own nothing of these characters, only the words in between. Those characters belong to Joss and co.
Distribution: Just ask.
A/N: This began as a drabble challenge from Lilbreck and then...I don't know. It grew and changed and formed into something wholly different. Thanks Lilbreck for the challenge and thanks to Emmy and Falcons for hooking me on GotR!
Chapter 10
Voices filtered through the floor and made their way up to the attic, muffled and distorted, pulling Willow out of her slumber. She did not want to know who was there.
Earlier, Susan had come up with dinner, trying to get her to eat, but Willow had not been hungry. All Willow could think was that Susan did not have a clue, did not know everything she did. How could Willow be friends with someone more vulnerable than herself? How could she open herself up to more pain? Moreover, how could she put Susan in such danger? There were many people who knew she used to help the Slayer. Too many people and other creatures had left Sunnydale with that knowledge before it had fallen. Surely something was always trying to get at the Slayers, and consequently, their friends.
It had been foolish of her to think that she could have kept everything from Susan, let alone think that she could have a semi-normal life that did not revolve around demons and killing. She ran a magick shop. That alone should have told her that she could not leave that life behind. She needed that link, if only imaginary, to the world she had lived in for so long.
Oh, but her foolishness went way beyond just needing a link to that life. Willow had kept it all a secret - the underbelly of the world, what really went bump in the night - and in doing so, possibly endangered the lives of her friends, their children, and everyone else around her. Willow had only the best of intentions, but after all, the road to hell, they say, was paved with good intentions.
Willow thought about where she would be right now if Buffy had not told her about vampires, if Giles had not shown her books on magick and demons, if Oz had not been bitten by his cousin, if Dawn had not come into their lives, if Tara had not tried to hide her family secret...so many things depended on the other to be there. She knew for a fact that she and Xander would be dead by now if it had not been for Buffy saving their lives that one night. Even though she could not save Jesse, Willow never blamed her.
Now, however, Willow had to decide what to do. She did not know if she should tell them or not. They would either believe her or think her to be crazy. And honestly, Willow thought she was going a bit mad herself. After one day, one day of being reminded about the past and she was already contemplating telling her entire life story and the secrets of the world.
Sitting up, Willow sighed. Everything seemed to fall to her at some point or another and she wished desperately that Xander was there. He was her rock when she could not stand on her own.
The voices continued downstairs, drowning out her thoughts. Willow wished they would be quiet so she could think.
**********
Spike cut the engine and looked at the house. It was quaint, just the think he thought Willow would have picked for herself some day. He did not know why he was there. Surely he could have found other ways to tell Willow about Giles' death, but there he was, staring up at the house.
He could feel her, the ebb and flow of her magick, all that he had come to associate with Willow. Spike remembered the first time he had been drawn to her. As a soulless demon, he had seen the potential she had for evil, the things she could have done under his guidance and tutelage. Then, as time wore on, he saw the lack of appreciation from her friends, and just how much she put up with. He had been in Africa, getting his soul, when she had fallen from grace. Even when he was crazy, he saw the hurt in her eyes when he had told her that Buffy and Xander thought it had been her that had skinned that man. And still he had said it, told them it was her, but he had not meant it the way it came out.
"Are we to sit here all night?" Illyria asked from the passenger seat, breaking him from his thoughts. She watched as he turned, an uncertain and apprehensive look on his face. There was pain hidden in his eyes and Illyria wasn't sure what to do about it, or how to help him.
"No, 'spose not," Spike said, getting out of the vehicle. He was hesitant, unsure of what to do or what to say. The news of Giles' death had been a shock to him. Though he should have expected it sooner or later; but for some reason, Spike had thought the old Watcher would be there forever. On top of that, Spike did not want to have to tell Willow about Giles. He did not know the right words to say, not that there were any. Moreover, he would have to explain about his own existence. At that moment, turning around seemed like a good idea. However, they had not come this far just to turn back now, and he'd promised Dawn.
They walked together up the walk that led to the front door. Illyria stood in all her godly glory, having decided to forego the change into the form of the shell. The woman had seen her as she was. There was no need for pretense anymore.
Spike knocked on the door, putting out the cigarette that seemed to be constantly hanging from his lip. They could hear Susan's voice tell them she was coming, while a male voice told some children to calm down.
"Hi," Susan said brightly, opening the door. She was surprised to see them, and yet not, at the same time. However, now, with the situation as it was...she was glad they were there. Even after Willow had let her read the note and told her broken stories about the man, Susan still had no idea what this Rupert Giles had meant to her friend.
"Come on now, in ya go," Susan said, moving out of the doorway to let them in. Illyria walked in first, followed closely by Spike. They were silent, and only Spike acknowledged the invitation with a slight nod of his head. Already this felt like a bad idea to him, but there was no backing out now.
"You can move beyond the foyer. I promise the kids won't bite," Susan said, walking past them into the living room. Spike and Illyria followed, watching said kids. The two children watched the strangers, mostly Illyria, and the girl stepped closer.
"I'm April," the girl said, smiling. "What's your name?"
"I am known as Illyria." The god cocked her head to the side and studied the child. She had never seen one so bold. During her reign, all children had feared her.
"Your hair is blue," she said, giggling.
"And yours is brown," Illyria said. She looked to Spike, curious as to the purpose of the exchange she was having with the small child, but when she looked, Spike and the two humans were smiling broadly at her.