A/N: …Luvable-Cutie, FYI your assumptions is…quite right…

Chapter Nine: White Hogsmeade

Slowly day-by-day Lily was recouping from her own actions. It was the week after and on Saturday morning when she finally felt at least okay about breaking up with John. Lily walked down to breakfast; she barely ate anything though, she hadn't been feeling hungry lately. She knew it was probably because she summoned food and ate in the dorms…somehow she didn't really like eating in the great hall at that moment. She needed to have her space from John, and she needed him to notice it too.

As she sat there she contemplated going to hogsmeade at all that trip. She knew it would be on of the last days with better weather. Even though it was a rainier day than she would have preferred. At least it wasn't snowing. Lily finished her small breakfast of toast and walked back up to the dormitory. She grabbed some galleons and put them in the pocket of her cloak. She smiled as she walked into the common room. She saw Laura sitting with Sirius on a plush chair. She walked over and put a hand on Laura's shoulder.

"Hey Laura, guess what!" Lily said beaming, a smile creeping across her face.

"Hey Lily…what is it?" Laura asked looking up into Lily's face.

"I'm going to go to hogsmeade this time…I'm not coping out!" Lily whispered so that Laura could hear her.

"Your Serious Lily…I mean your not lying?" Laura and Sirius said in synch with each other. It was a bit creepy how they spoke at the same time like that, and always each time, saying the same thing as the other. Lily blushed and smiled bashfully at them.

"See you down there" She said playfully and walked out of the common room. She began walking down to where Argus Filch was checking students out. She saw the scruffy man standing in front of her he was nearly twenty years old and had a grudge taller than Mount Everest growing inside of him. He hated the students and mostly because he had never been able to be fully involved in the magical world. He was after all a squib. Lily walked past and headed down to where everyone was waiting to head down. She was waiting to go down with Laura and everyone; she wanted to be a surprise. Or really, be able to see him just once more since their fight. She didn't know why, but it had been eating at her more and more, and not because of what had happened…or how she had acted. It was something else; she couldn't quite put a finger to it. Or even a name at that matter.

"Hey ready to head down…the boys are heading down in a bit, I said we'd meet them in three broomsticks. I just need some time to talk to you." Laura said as they began the trudge down to Hogsmeade. "Lily, we need to hang out some more. I mean, just the two of us." Laura said as they walked down the hill to Hogsmeade Village.

"Yeah, but you know how I am…I'm fine with you and Sirius" Lily lied, she still dind't know him at all. And it didn't help that he had been one of the boys trying to get her and James together forever. It got a bit annoying after the second try. Oh Evans, I know someone who likes you…you want to snogg them eh? Who in their right minds answers that question?

"Lily, don't kid yourself. I know you, we've known each other forever, c'mon, I'm not stupid!" Laura said with a chuckle and they walked down a street in Hogsmeade.

"When did you say you'd meet the boys?" Lily asked trying to change the topic. She didn't feel like talking about how she felt. She didn't really feel comfortable admitting that she felt like this. That she didn't enjoy her best friend's boyfriend or the guy she shagged's best friend…or more thoroughly that she actually shagged the guy she had hated since first year.

"Lily, its later…we have time, c'mon I want to talk to you." Laura said sincerely and Lily felt a pang in her heart. She couldn't keep this from Laura forever she knew it. She needed to get it out; she needed to get through it all now.

"Laura, I can't do this…" Lily said her head falling slightly. "I can't pretend anymore, he's part of my life now…but I don't know if I want that anymore…I don't know what I want" Lily said and tears began to fall. She knew it was time; she needed to get through this. She needed to get it out, she needed to get away from him or else deal with the mixed feelings and signals. "Laura, you know Its hard to deal with" Lily whispered to her friend, she didn't want passers by to hear her confessions, she knew the gossip would fly like fire in a wheat field. It was just what everyone did; it was the teen thing to do. "Lorr, I shagged him…I mean, why did I do that?" Lily asked confused. She knew it wouldn't come easy, she knew that Laura knew this. She didn't care; she needed someone to help her. She needed to escape from all of this.

"Lily, its okay" Laura said and hugged her friend. Lily felt confused. She didn't know why she did this now and so long after anything had happened.

"Thanks Lorr, I mean…you're a good friend, thanks for being here for me," Lily said and they walked back down the street. Lily whipped the stray tears off of her face and smiled over at her friend. "Hey, I'll be there in a sec Laura" Lily said as Laura headed to the Three broomsticks. She was saving time; she was trying to avoid being stuck there for a long time. And still, she knew Laura knew that.

Lily walked into Honey dukes and looked at the displays of mouth-watering candies stacked all around. She walked over to a display of new sweets. There was an assortment of chocolate cauldrons, fizzing drinks, and many other sweets in this area. She picked up a bottle of a bright green apple flavored fizzing elixir, she knew it was a knock-off of muggle soda but didn't mind. She bought some things to make it look legitimate that she was actually going to Honey dukes; and not just pretending to be there. Slowly she walked towards the door but something blocked it, someone blocked it. She dind't feel like looking at who was in the doorway, blocking her only exit. She didn't feel like doing anything. This someone was standing between her and something she felt like stalling.

She didn't see the hand of the person in the doorway move. She didn't notice the hand, until it reached out and touched her. Then she felt her world shatter, but not in a completely horrible way. Her safety bubble just popped, and this person, his hands were cupping her face. "What are you doing here?" she asked confused as he stood there in front of her.

"What am I doing here? What do you think I'm doing here?" James said in a way that showed that he thought she should have known all along. "C'mon, they're waiting for you" James said opening the door, and stepping outside. Lily didn't want to, but she fallowed him. Lily looked up at the clouds and saw it was darker than before, the rain was sure to come soon and she didn't have a cloak with her. "Lily, before we go in…we need to talk" James said walking over to a bench near the three broomsticks. He left a spot for her to sit and she walked over sitting down slowly. As she sat down, she felt his hand settle on the small of her back. She blushed even though she knew this was nothing compared to what had happened with them this school year. Still it was the fact that they were sitting together, for all eyes to see. It was unnerving.

"James, you said you wanted to talk" Lily said turning to see his face. He nodded only and moved closer to her. She knew it would happen sooner or later, she knew he would move in on her like a leopard on a gazelle. It was just known. One of his hands rested on her knee the other on the small of her back.

"Lily" He said his breath visible in the now cold weather. He pulled her closer to him, so that they were now touching even more than before. She didn't complain, even though it scared her even more than anything else. His hand moved again so it was again on her neck, holding her head ever so gently. She groaned almost inaudibly as he moved in and began to kiss her. She knew someone was watching, she dind't know who. Still, she didn't care. She just kissed him back. "Hmmm…" he mumbled as he pulled away. "We should head in now," he said softly as he directed her to the door. Lily smiled to herself as she walked to the table. She took a seat next to James and smiled at Laura.

They sat there for a bit of time, they had a round of butter beers. Lily could feel the warmth itch through her body as the drink went down her throat. She looked out the window to see it was still ruddy weather. "Well," she said after a while of their quidditch talk she smiled at them. "I'm gunna head back soon" Lily said quietly and looked into her empty mug of butter beer. "Have fun" she said louder this time getting up and walking from the table. As she stepped out of the door and into the cold October air she felt it hit her. She could barely see at the moment. Snow had begun to fall and quite rapidly. "Oh buggers," she mumbled kicking the light dusting of white powder on the ground.

"Bitter weather isn't it now, eh?" James said walking over to her. Had he fallowed her? He handed her his cloak and smiled. "I'll walk with you," He said and they walked up the hill back to the school. "So, what did you buy at Honey Dukes?" James asked smiling trying to snatch the bag from her. "Ha" he said jokingly as she managed to sneak it from her hand. "Ooooooh, a box of Chocolate Cauldrons, one of the Fizzy Elixirs, and…" He didn't go on, he stopped dead in his tracks. Lily stopped and began to walk to him, as she neared him. He grabbed her around the waist, taking her down on top of him on the ground on the now snow covered hill. "You really got this eh?" He asked leaning over and pressing her to the ground.

"C'mon James" Lily said as he pulled what she had heard what was his favorite candy out. It was chocolate-Carmel toffees. She dind't buy them because they were his favorite. She had bought them because they also were her favorite. "Yeah I got them James…now, can we go…I-I'm cold" she said as she squirmed away.

"Lily, I didn't hand you my cloak for you to hold it… Here" He said with a chuckle as he took it from her clasping hands. She blushed as he placed his cloak around her shoulders. "There" he whispered in her ear. "You look good" he said kissing her gently on the neck. The sensation filled Lily with a hallow yearning for more.

She turned her head slowly so she could see his face. His hands were on her hips. "James" she whispered quietly so he could barely hear her. They stood there for a little while, just looking at each other. The snow was now falling harder and even though it was cold, it had a romantic feel. She smiled to herself as he began to kiss her slowly. "Mmmm" she groaned in protest as he pulled away.

"C'mon" he said softly, taking her hand and holding it. They walked holding hands up the large hill. "Come with me" he said softly turning to her his breath warming the exposed skin on her neck. She nodded slowly and she simply followed him. She didn't follow him because she felt she had to, she followed because she wanted to follow. He led her to a small group of trees by the lake, where he stood and stared into the cold water. His eyes not glaring or staring but they seemed to be searching. Searching for something, and Lily loved watching it. She felt compelled to watch him as he watched the lake. It felt so welcoming. They did this for what felt like hours, but in truth it was only five minutes.

She watched with relaxed eyes as James walked slowly over to her. He put his arms around her and enveloped her in a long embrace. He slowly began to kiss her, and she knew this was nowhere near the end. This wasn't even the first chapter.