Like ZOMG! An update?! It must be the apocalypse! I'm terribly terribly sorry. Forgive me. I got very caught up in my MR story, the Impossible. Then, when I came to the end of that story, I was sad so I still didn't update. Then life intruded, and…you get the picture. However, I'm updating now. Here's the much awaited chapter.
"Bella, I love you." My love had whispered with his last ounce of strength. "Bella, listen to me, Bella. It will be okay. Hold on." He had been trying to help me, even as venom tore through his body. My last thought was for him as I sank into unconsciousness.
I lost all ability to judge the passing of time. My surroundings were a blur seen through the eyes of fatal pain. There was nothing but fear and agony. My bones were broken in too many places to count. I could smell the rusty scent of blood. It was over for me. There was no chance to survive, not as a human anyway.
My worry was not for myself, however. It was for Edward. It was my fault that he was again being denied a normal life. It was my fault that he had to endure the torment of transformation a second time.
In a rare moment of lucidity, I was able to understand that we were in the Cullen home. Edward was in the throes of the transformation. His body jerked with silent fire. He had refused morphine, saying that if I had to be in pain, so did he. It was ridiculous chivalry, but I felt my heart melt a little anyway.
"Give him something." I choked out. I knew I only had a few seconds left of strength to fight unconsciousness. I had to make it count. "He shouldn't have to be in pain."
"I will not ignore his wishes." Carlisle said, solemnly.
"You're all being silly." I muttered.
"Bella, I have to ask you. What is your decision?" I was confused. What decision?
"What are you talking about?" I ground out. My body screamed in agony.
"You have to make a choice. Do you want to become a vampire, Bella? Hurry. You don't have much time." What kind of choice was that? I had made my choice at the age of 18.
"Yes. Yes." I gasp out.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" I say a little too forcefully. Edward's torture and my own pain were making me anxious.
"Okay." Carlisle whispered. I waited, feeling my breath catch in anticipation.
"Wait. Let me talk to Edward." I whispered. Carlisle lifted his head and nodded.
"We don't have much time, Bella." He warned as he left the room.
My eyes were blurry with pain and weakness. Every breath hurt, but I had to do this. I turned my head to see my love. I felt tears prick at my eyes when I saw him. He was in so much pain.
"Edward." I said. My voice was strained. "Edward, I don't know if you can hear me." I waited, but there was no response. "Edward, this is my choice. I choose forever with you. This is what I want. Don't you dare feel any sort of guilt because I know you'll try to blame yourself. This is my decision, Edward. My only regret is that I won't be able to be here for you when you wake up. I love you. I love you so much." Tears were falling now. I reached out and grabbed my love's hand. His pained movements relaxed a bit. I felt his pulse one last time, took in the warmth of his human skin. Then, I took a deep breath.
"Carlisle!" I called. He came quickly. "I'm ready." I closed my eyes as Carlisle lowered his head. I squeezed Edward's hand.
There was a sharp pain. The reaction was almost instantaneous. My body convulsed with pain. Fire spread through my body. My hand slipped from Edward's as darkness engulfed me.
Pain as frigid as ice, and yet as searing as flame ripped through my body. There was no comforting hand or voice to anchor me in the darkness. Anguish was my constant companion. I could not find the unawareness that my mind sought. I lived through every moment of agony, feeling every shredding pulse of venom in my veins. This was a thousand times worse than dying, a million times more painful than the breaking of every bone in my body had been.
I hadn't expected this all encompassing level of pain. I waited through the torture, waited for some relief. There was none. I had not denied morphine, and Carlisle had decided to give it to me. It didn't help. I was very grateful that Edward had not taken any. The morphine did not dull the pain, but it kept me unable to move. I was happy that it stifled my screams though. I didn't know if Edward was awake, but I knew that I didn't want him to hear this.
Every time that I thought the transformation must be over, another wave of pulsing agony ripped through me. How could 3 days take this long? The pain pulsed and grew in a chorus of agony until it reached a crescendo. I could not reach the outside world. I couldn't find Edward, but I knew that something was about to happen.
The pain increased to a point that I had previously believed impossible, and then…it stopped. I froze in my dark cocoon. What-I was cut off in my thoughts as the pain exploded back into existence. My heart stuttered, and then stopped. I broke the surface of the darkness. This must be the end.
"Is she okay?" A faint voice asked. It was the voice of an angel. Edward. My mind breathed. I tried to say his name, to speak. No sound came out. I struggled against the remaining veil of darkness. Something shifted, and then I felt like I was back in my body. The pain was gone. I felt strong and healthy, stronger than ever before. I was afraid to open my eyes, afraid to see the new me. It's time to stop being a coward, Swan. I thought.
"Bella?" A melodious voice questioned. "Bella?!" It said, sounding anxious and worried. I felt guilty for worrying Edward while I sat here debating with myself. Besides, I wanted to see Edward. I wanted to make sure he was fine. I slowly forced my eyes open.
So how was that? Review, please!