Ice Climbers: Part 2
"Ladies and gentlemen," The giant, penguin-like King DeDeDe said to the audience of the stadium, through his microphone, "for too long I've been plagued with weak opponents. For once, I've always dreamed of fighting an opponent so great that he makes the gods look like sissies, so strong that he can resist even the sun's heat and live to tell the tale. But alas, with the exception of that pink puffball, Kirby, I haven't received a well-rounded rival suitable to my skill level. But now, my never-ending journey may come to an end, as I'm about to fight not one, but two people who abused their bodies, minds, and souls for three months just to get up to my level. Soon, I shall have an opponent worthy of even my skills! I shall have a match so great, that they'd be able to tire me out to the point of reaching death's door itself! Tonight, I shall have what I've always wanted, and it's in the form of an unlikely pair of Eskimos!"
"And here we are," said Popo's voice, as Popo and Nana, each holding microphones as well, came through the entrance to the arena, as they and DeDeDe faced each other.
"You and I might have something in common, DeDeDe," Nana said to DeDeDe through her microphone. "We've always wanted opponents that could match even us and our combined strength, just as much as you do."
"Well," said Popo through his microphone, "our paths have crossed, and we've managed to find each other! Are you prepared to lay your life on the line?"
"Funny," said DeDeDe through his microphone, "because it should be me asking you the same question. I heard from my Waddle Dees, whom I sent to spy on you, that you spent three months of torture training with a sparring robot, R.O.B., who displayed no mercy during your sparring match. You were near death and starvation, yet you continued to fight until your training was complete. You've abused yourselves just to become strong enough to fight me, and for that I commend you!"
"Promise us you won't hold back," said Popo.
"Yeah," said Nana, "because we won't go easy on you, either!"
"Then prepare yourselves," King DeDeDe, "for I might end up killing you!"
DeDeDe and the Ice Climbers tossed their microphones to the ground and took out their hammers, preparing themselves to fight each other. "Looks like our fighters are ready," cried the announcer. "Let's get ready to battle!"
The fight began, as DeDeDe began the battle by jumping high in the air and falling toward the area Popo and Nana were. Just when DeDeDe was about to slam the ground with his backside, the two Eskimos quickly dodged the attack in the nick of time. The Ice Climbers then charged at DeDeDe with their hammers, but not before he would strike the two with his, knocking them backward. DeDeDe then charged at Popo with his hammer as the male Eskimo lied on the ground, vulnerable to attack. Just when DeDeDe got close enough to Popo to strike him with his giant hammer, suddenly he froze in a block of ice. Popo got back up on his feet and discovered that Nana summoned the block of ice at the giant king.
"Are you okay," Nana asked Popo as she ran up to him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," replied Popo.
"The reason," said Nana, "was because DeDeDe almost did a number on you."
"But still," said Popo, "that doesn't excuse the fact that the fight isn't over."
"Why," asked Nana.
"Remember during our training," said Popo, "when we learned about how our opponent will have great willpower?"
"Yeah," replied Nana.
"Well," said Popo, as the two Eskimos looked upon DeDeDe, as he started to slowly break the ice that entrapped him, thus freeing himself. The shards of ice flew toward the Ice Climbers, who proceeded to break the various ice shards that flew toward them.
"Looks like I'll have to be careful what I wish for," said King DeDeDe, "because I might actually get it."
"A strong opponent, you mean," asked Popo.
"Yeah," said DeDeDe, "that." The giant king then proceeded to open his mouth and inhale. The suction from his inhaling was so strong, that neither Popo nor Nana could keep their feet still as they slowly got sucked in. Suddenly, Nana started flying toward DeDeDe's mouth and went in it. As soon as DeDeDe inserted Nana into his mouth, he then spat her out toward Popo, knocking both of them backwards. The Ice Climbers were then on the ground again, as DeDeDe jumped high in the air with his hammer and was about to slam it on them. Just in the nick of time, however, Popo and Nana dodged DeDeDe's hammer, then proceeded to attack the giant king with their hammers. The Ice Climbers and King DeDeDe then swung their hammers like madmen, blocking, countering, and dealing as quick and many blows to each other as possible, matching each other's speed and agility.
"Look at them move fast," said one audience member.
"Yeah," said another audience member, "but isn't King DeDeDe supposed to be the slow type?"
"Hey," said a third audience member, "just because DeDeDe is heavyweight, doesn't mean he's slow all the time."
"How will the Ice Climbers be able to defeat DeDeDe," said a fourth audience member, "if the giant king's equally-matched?"
Thirty minutes into the fight, and both the Ice Climbers and King DeDeDe became heavily bruised and beaten from the blows they've dealt to each other.
"About time I'd find an equal match," said DeDeDe. "But, that doesn't excuse the fact that one of us needs to win at all costs!"
"You know," said Popo, "you're right!"
"Yeah," said Nana.
"And unfortunately for you," said DeDeDe, "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve." DeDeDe then called out, "Boys, attack!"
Suddenly, from the ground came tiny hands grabbing the Ice Climbers by the feet. Two faces then appeared from the ground and revealed themselves to be a pair of Waddle Dees, soldiers in King DeDeDe's army. The grips were so strong that the two Eskimos could barely move. They struggled to get out, but to no avail. They were each then wrapped around electric whips, one for each Ice Climber. The two then turned around and discovered the one-eyed Waddle Doos, who tossed their electric whips and wrapped them around the two. They were then surrounded by a horde of Waddle Dees, each wielding spears.
"These are my personal body guards," said DeDeDe. "After all, the both of you brought each other, so I needed some help as well, and thus my personal body guards!"
"I can't move," said Nana.
"The whip is so static," said Popo, "that it's sapping me of my strength!"
DeDeDe then took out two spiky Gordos out of his coat-pocket, as he then said, "Looks like you're not the opponents I've been looking for all along. Sorry." DeDeDe then tossed the Gordos at the Ice Climbers, one Gordo for each member of the pair.
The Ice Climbers then had a startling realization: They can't lose now. They've trained for three months for this battle, and they've been beaten to death by R.O.B. just to reach the king's level. If they let those Gordos spike them now, they'll lose, and losing would be cowardice. And the Ice Climbers were not cowards!
With all their strength, the Ice Climbers dropped their hammers on the ground, grabbed the electric whips the Waddle Doos were wielding, and by their electric whips tossed the Waddle Doos into the Gordos, knocking the spiky balls with eyes backward toward DeDeDe. The Gordos then hit DeDeDe in the chest, knocking him backwards.
Meanwhile, the Ice Climbers, who tossed the Waddle Doos via their whips, weakened them just enough for the two Eskimos to free themselves. They then grabbed their hammers, and bonked the two Waddle Dees in the ground on their heads, knocking them out. They then prepared themselves to fight King DeDeDe's army of body guards.
"You prepared, Nana," asked Popo.
"Yeah," said Nana. "I've always wanted to face a horde of opponents rather than just one and one alone."
"You're right," said Popo. "After all, we've handled large groups before, why not another one?"
King DeDeDe then got back up as he then said to his troops, "Seize them!"
The army of Waddle Dees and Waddle Doos charged at the Ice Climbers. However, a vast horde of them was no match for a measly pair of Eskimos with hammers and ice-themed attacks. One by one, each Waddle Dee and Waddle Doo would get knocked out and have their unconscious bodies piled up, until another thirty minutes later, the pile was big enough to reach the top of the stadium.
Already were the Ice Climbers exhausted from all that excessive fighting against King DeDeDe's army. The army was also so many that it managed to get a few scratches, cuts, and bruises into the pair. They were heavily battle-damaged from all the blows dealt by DeDeDe's army and its size and numbers.
"Not bad," said DeDeDe. "The two of you managed to defeat my army of Waddle Dees and Waddle Doos. But that's the purpose."
"What," asked the Ice Climbers.
"Look at you," said DeDeDe, "you're so exhausted from fighting hordes of my troops, that you can barely even stand! I've intended for you to beat up my troops so that you'd become fatigued enough for me to finish you off by myself! I'm so disappointed in you, you know. I thought I'd find worthy opponents, yet all I got was another set of weaklings."
"Well," said Popo, "whatever your strategy was, it's not working!"
Popo and Nana struggled to lift their hammers, but to no avail. They could barely feel their arms, as they were so tired that they couldn't lift their hammers any longer. Their hammers were now heavier than they could imagine. They also couldn't move an inch because of their said fatigue.
"I can't move," cried Nana.
"Me neither," said Popo.
"King DeDeDe wasn't lying when he said that he tired us out," said Nana.
"I know," said Popo. "I can't move my hammer nor feel my arms or legs."
The two Eskimos then dropped down on the ground, face-up. They couldn't take anymore of the pain and stress of combat any longer, as DeDeDe's strategy was doing wonders on them.
DeDeDe then walked toward Popo and Nana with his hammer, as he raised it high in the air and said, "Looks like my search for a worthy opponent besides Kirby will have to continue, and go on and on until I pass away from old age or whatever."
"I'm sorry, Popo," said Nana. "It seems that we lost the match because of our sapped strength."
"Don't apologize," Popo said sternly. "Besides, it's not like you to give up!"
"What are you talking about," asked Nana.
DeDeDe swung his hammer at the Ice Climbers. Despite his lack of strength, Popo found the willpower to move that damned arm of his and lift his hammer just enough to block DeDeDe's attack, if only barely. Popo struggled to push DeDeDe's hammer backwards as he said to Nana, "It's not like you to give up. Remember our training? R.O.B. was so ruthless and thorough that we could barely continue fighting, yet we continued anyway. Our training taught us that no matter how brutal our opponent is, no matter how slim the odds are, we must always continue fighting until we win or die!"
"And why is that," asked Nana.
"Because," said Popo, "each of us had something worth holding on to, something worth protecting!"
Nana then thought to herself. Popo wasn't lying; the two did have something they held on to during their previous battles, and the very thing she was trying to protect was her friend Popo, just as Popo had Nana. She believed that if she surrendered now, she'd be giving up on Popo, and that would be cowardice, and Nana was not a coward. She knows what she has to do if she ever has any hope of winning the fight.
With all her strength, Nana struggled to move her arms, as she slowly, painfully lifted her hammer high in the air, as she was about to block DeDeDe's hammer attack with Popo's help. Normally, their individual strengths would mean nothing, but when combined, the two were able to slowly but surely push DeDeDe back. The Ice Climbers slowly got back up on their feet as they pushed DeDeDe's hammer with theirs with all their might.
"Looks like you really are worth opponents after all," said DeDeDe. "You have resolve, that I can give you credit for, and that's what I'm hoping for in my opponents, to have enough resolve to take even me down."
"We won't give up," said Popo.
"Yeah," said Nana, "not until we protect each other and defeat you, or die trying!"
"Then by all means," replied DeDeDe, "give me a hell of a fight, one that's memorable throughout the ages!"
The Ice Climbers then pushed DeDeDe and his hammer back with their hammers, as with their wooden weapons they smacked DeDeDe in his stomach, dealing a blow so massive that it could knock a thousand elephants into the ground. They then aimed for, and hit DeDeDe's head with their hammers, knocking him down into the ground. The Ice Climbers climbed on top of DeDeDe's chest as their opponent lied on the ground, as the two Eskimos ruthlessly and repeatedly smacked DeDeDe's face with their mallets like wild psychopaths. Suddenly, DeDeDe grabbed Popo and Nana with his hands, as he got back up and tossed the two far away like baseballs. He then grabbed his mallet as Popo and Nana got back up, and the two sides charged each other, carrying their respective hammers. After getting close enough, the two sides whacked each other with their mallets. The Ice Climbers, both of whom lightweight flew backwards in the air, while DeDeDe, who got smacked in the face by two hammers wielded by two Eskimos, fell down on the ground face-down. Meanwhile, the Ice Climbers fell down on the ground, face-up, as they got back up and saw that DeDeDe was heavily fatigued from the blow they dealt to him.
"Humph," said DeDeDe, "looks like I've gotten my wish after all." The Ice Climbers faced each other and nodded. This maybe their ultimate opportunity to knock him into a coma before he gets back up, so with that, the Ice Climbers walked toward DeDeDe, and with their hammers, smacked him on the head, knocking him into a coma.
"King DeDeDe is unable to fight," cried the announcer. "The winners are the Ice Climbers!" The crowd cheered and chanted the Ice Climbers' names repeatedly.
Popo and Nana then faced each other as Nana asked, "What should we do with King DeDeDe? We can't just leave him unconscious!"
"Yeah," said Popo, "after all, he's been searching for worthy opponents, and he managed to get his wish. Maybe if we displayed fair sportsmanship and took him home to heal him…"
"That would be a great idea," said Nana.
"Come on," said Popo, "let's take him to our igloo home."
Popo and Nana then carried the unconscious DeDeDe on their shoulders and walked him toward the exit of the arena. They were glad to find an opponent as strong and powerful as DeDeDe, just as the king was probably glad to have faced the two and lost to them fairly.