Five Months Later
Ezra
I walked out of the high school and into the hot Georgia sun, feeling like I was on top of the world. Pending a licensing exam, which I would have to come back for in a month, I had a job teaching 11th grade English lined up for the fall. And I was signing the lease and picking up the keys for my apartment here in Savannah this afternoon. No sense staying in a hotel while I was making trips back and forth.
Seeing this historic town, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that Aria would love it here. She'd be in a photographer's heaven. She had no idea yet that I'd be here with her though. What had started as me not wanting to say anything until I knew for sure if this would work had turned into the world's most elaborate surprise. Not quite a graduation gift, since I'd gotten her one of those too (which actually kind of tied into all of this), but close. I planned on telling her this weekend. I could tell that she'd been afraid to bring up what would happen to us when she left Rosewood. She'd almost been sad when she told me she had decided to come here for school. I'd actually been glad she had decided to go so far away. It felt like the fresh start we both sorely needed. Too much had happened to us in Rosewood. We both needed to get away and heal. And we would do it together.
Well, together for the most part. We would at least be in the same city. I'd been torn about asking her if she wanted to move in with me, but decided against it. At least for a year. Thanks to me, she hadn't had a normal high school experience. She was going to get a normal college experience, complete with living in the dorms and hating her neighbors and roommates. I was going to make sure of it. Though how being engaged at eighteen (hopefully) factored into that, I wasn't quite sure. Okay, so I was making this up as I went along. But it made sense to me, sort of.
Aria was the only person who didn't know about any of this. I had even worked up the nerve to ask her parents what they thought of it. Her father...well, he hadn't punched me in the jaw. That was progress. And he'd also pointed out that he couldn't stop me. Her mother had been a little more receptive and had even been a little enthusiastic, once I'd assured her that Aria wasn't pregnant (of course that would be their first thought). She'd actually been glad Aria would have someone here who loved and supported her.
I'd told Aria I was in New York this week for a family thing. I hated lying to her, but it was for a good cause. I hoped. I hoped she wouldn't be too upset when she found out I'd done all of this behind her back. Wesley was even here with me to help me complete the illusion of being with family. And to help me get at least a bed and coffee pot and dresser set up in my apartment here. We were catching a flight back to Philadelphia in the morning to make sure we were back for the Rosewood High graduation in two days. I'd been drafted to hand out the diplomas and I was also speaking at the ceremony since I'd been voted Teacher of the Year, and of course Wesley wanted to be there for Aria. People don't go through something like what the two of them had gone through together and not develop a bond, and they were no exception. They were thick as thieves now.
I pulled out my phone and dialed Wesley's number. He had the rental car, so I was stuck here with the students and faculty giving me strange looks until he picked me up.
"So how'd it go?" he answered.
"I got the job. I'm coming back next month for a licensing exam," I told him.
"Congrats, man! So what are you more nervous about, the exam or popping the question?"
"Teaching is what I do. So what do you think?"
"I think you're borderline insane, but what else is new?" he teased. "I'll be there in ten minutes."
"Okay, I'll see you then," I chuckled.
I wasn't sure what this was, honestly. Maybe it was borderline insane. But I preferred to think of it as finally living. When I'd been on the run from Elijah, I'd been so focused on surviving that I hadn't really stopped to live. I hadn't had anything to live for. Not until I met Aria. Now, finally, I had something in my life that I couldn't stand to lose.
And I almost had lost her, a few months ago. When Charlotte had kidnapped her and her friends. I'd spent a heart-stopping three weeks working with Caleb, Toby, and Alison trying to find them. When we'd finally found them and she had come out of that bunker, it had just confirmed what I'd already known. I couldn't lose her again. Not ever.
Wesley pulled up in the rental car and I got in.
"So, ready to be paying rent in two places at the same time for a few months?" he teased.
"Well, I'm not going to lie, it's going to suck for my bank account, but I also don't want to have to do the thing where I move everything in one weekend. Especially not when I'm coming back here to take that exam and then making at least one other trip back and forth to help Aria move," I told him.
"If that makes sense in your warped mind, sure, I'll buy it."
"How about if you just drive, Wes?"
"Keep that up and I'll tell Aria where we really are next time you call her."
"You're an ass. Has anyone ever told you that?"
"All the time," he laughed.
Just then my phone buzzed, and it was a text from Aria.
Weird taking the final exam in your class without you there. Love and miss you.
I'd wished I could have come here next week so I could have administered my own final exam. But this was when the school had wanted to do my final interview, and while the other ones had been over Skype because I'd been in no shape to travel until recently and they also understood that I was still teaching in Pennsylvania, this one had to be in person. So I'd had a substitute teacher administer the test. It was on Scantron paper, so grading wouldn't be too difficult. Just feed the tests into the machine.
I typed a quick response to her.
I love and miss you too. More than you know. I'll be back before you know it.
"Aria?" Wesley asked.
"How'd you guess?" I chuckled.
"You've got it bad. Your entire demeanor changes when you're talking to her. Or even texting her."
"Remind me to give you a hard time when you get a girlfriend," I teased.
"What are brothers for? Someone has to give you a hard time. But seriously, I couldn't approve more. You guys are great together. And it's obvious she's crazy about you."
"I sure hope so. That would increase my chances of her saying yes this weekend."
"Ever think you might have put the cart before the horse, getting the job and apartment lined up before asking her?" he asked.
"No," I said. "If she's not ready to say yes, I'm okay with that. She is only eighteen. It's more symbolic at this point. I'm not going to rush actually getting married. Matter of fact, I'd rather wait until she's done with school. I just want her to know I'm serious about us. That I'm not just doing this on a whim."
All of a sudden, Wesley just started laughing.
"What?" I laughed with him.
"You do realize the entire town, and probably all of her friends, are going to think that you knocked her up, right?" he said, still laughing.
I flashed back to that horrific afternoon five months ago. How scared Aria had been. Hell, how scared I'd been. She'd been right. Even though there wasn't even a chance of that particular hypothetical kid being mine, everyone still would have thought it was. And it would have even looked like me. Basically, it would have been a disaster. I would have supported whatever decision she'd made, but I knew we were both relieved it hadn't come to that. There was almost no decision that could have been the right one in a situation like that.
"Dude, what is it?" Wesley brought me back from the flashback I was having. "I was joking."
I sighed; he didn't know. Neither one of us had ever told him.
"Sorry. That just hit a little close to home," I started.
"Wait. What do you mean?"
"Look, you are not allowed to tell her you know this. Got it?"
"My lips are sealed," he promised.
"About a week after I came home from the hospital, she actually did have a scare. She thought Elijah..."
"Jesus," he gasped. "I'm sure that was a fun day."
"Not so much. We were both completely terrified. And she was beating herself up, because that same day Jake had basically reversed most of the progress she'd made in coming to terms with what Elijah did. He couldn't get past the fact that she'd still made a choice. So, of course, that was what she was thinking about when she realized her period was a week late."
"If I'd known that, I would have kicked that little punk's ass instead of let him help you get down the stairs. Frankly, I don't really want to know what Elijah would have done if impersonating you hadn't worked."
"That was what I told her," I agreed. "I can guarantee it would have been a lot worse. But the worst part of the whole thing was that we both knew that if she was pregnant, the entire town would think it was mine. I cannot begin to describe the relief when there was only one line on that stupid plastic stick. Actually, both sticks. Because of course she had to take two different tests just to be absolutely sure."
He chuckled. "Sounds like her. But I can imagine the relief. Damn. She's been dealt a crap hand in life, hasn't she?"
"She has. So have I. Honestly, I think coming here is the fresh start we both need."
"Yeah, you're probably right. You both need to be somewhere where no one knows about your history. Savannah certainly gives you that," he agreed.
"Exactly," I said. "See, I'm not borderline insane. I'm thinking clearly for the first time in my life."
"Maybe. I'm still going with you being insane," Wesley teased. "So, do you know how you're going to pop the question yet?"
I chuckled. Finally, something I wanted to talk about.
"I think so, but I'm just going to roll with it. See how the whole conversation plays out. Is it too weird for me to take her to the cabin?" I asked.
"Have either of you been back there since…"
"No. We haven't. But the thing is, I'm selling it, so I need to make sure it's cleaned out and that I have everything I want out of it. I'm not sure I can go back there alone."
"Well, it's going to trigger some memories for sure. Are you sure that's the place for this conversation? Really?"
"Honestly?" I said. "I can't think of a better place for it. If it wasn't for what happened, I might not have realized that with her is where I need to be, no matter where that is."
"I guess that makes sense," Wesley said. "Nothing about your relationship is conventional. So why should a marriage proposal be?"
We both laughed. That was definitely true.
Aria
I stood there nervously in my cap and gown, waiting to be ushered in to the auditorium. I wished I could see Ezra before the ceremony, but he'd been drafted to hand out the diplomas. How that had happened, I had no idea. Neither did he, but he'd agreed to do it. He was also speaking today, since to nobody's surprise he'd been selected as Teacher of the Year. So he was somewhere else entirely. And my friends and I were all spread out too, organized by our last names. The closest person to me was Hanna, but there were about ten people between me and her. I was all alone in a crowd of people.
I had my Magna Cum Laude rope around my neck, and under that, where no one could see at the moment, I was wearing Ezra's graduation gift. He'd given it to me last night, when he'd gotten back from New York. A necklace with a charm in the shape of a heart that had the words "Never doubt I love" inscribed on it. It came from one of my favorite Shakespeare quotes, from Hamlet. "Doubt thou the stars art fire. Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar. But never doubt I love." Sweet, thoughtful, and absolutely him. I wished I could let it show outside my gown, but I couldn't. He was still my teacher. For another few hours at least.
In a way, I was scared to be graduating. I was scared of the unknown. Scared of being in a new and strange place. Scared of moving so far away from my family and friends. And from Ezra. We hadn't even really talked about what would happen when I went to Savannah in the fall. He'd told me not to factor him into my decision about college, so I hadn't. A long-distance relationship was going to be tough. I knew we'd make it work, but it would change everything. And I wasn't sure I was ready for that. I didn't want things to change. My high school experience these past two years had been full of fear and unknowns. I wanted at least one thing I could count on now, one thing that wouldn't change, but I had nothing. It felt like the ground was crumbling under my feet and I was just sinking down into it.
I heard "Pomp and Circumstance" start, and of course all of the teachers who were here acting as monitors scurried around making sure we all had our caps on and the tassels in the right position, and that no one was wearing anything inappropriate or acting inappropriately. We walked into the auditorium and took our seats. Luckily, with the way the seating worked out, Hanna was right in front of me. I had someone I knew close by. I had a feeling that whatever Ezra was about to say, and whatever Spencer was about to say in her Valedictorian speech, was going to make me cry. It already killed me to think of leaving both of them in a few months.
The principal and vice principal both spoke and gave encouraging words about how we were going to accomplish great things in the world. The usual graduation speeches. And then Mr. Hackett introduced Ezra. "Everyone's favorite teacher," he called him. I had to chuckle. That was the understatement of the century.
"Um, you guys have spent the last couple of years listening to me talk, so I'm going to be brief today," Ezra started, looking out into the sea of faces until he found me and flashing me one of the smiles that had melted my heart every day since I met him. "Honestly, it's hard for me to find the words to say to you today. These past two years, Rosewood High has given me more than I ever would have thought possible. I came here as a brand new teacher, and I had no idea how much teaching here would affect me. Would change my life, change who I was, who I am. I've had most of you as students during both years I've taught here, and I've developed close relationships with a lot of you. It has been…an honor to see you all grow and mature into the amazing young men and women I see sitting in front of me now. I know you are all going to go out into the world and do amazing things with your lives. You'll find your own unique ways to contribute to the world. It's sad to see you leave Rosewood High today, but it also brings me great joy to think that I might have had some small influence on you while you were here. That I might have helped contribute, at least a little bit, to your success.
"Anyone who knows me at all is going to expect me to leave you with a quote today. So I won't disappoint. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote, 'It's a dangerous business…going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.' It is my fervent wish for all of you that you get swept somewhere new and different and that, just like the characters in Tolkien's books, you find yourself on not just one, but a great many unexpected journeys. That you take a road trip somewhere and get hopelessly lost and end up finding the most amazing place you could imagine. Or maybe spend a semester abroad and learn about different cultures and try new and different things. But most of all, it is my wish that each of you find true joy and happiness in where you end up in your life. That you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's where you belong. And now it gives me great pleasure to introduce the Rosewood High School Class of 2012's Valedictorian, Miss Spencer Hastings. Thank you."
Had it just been me, or had that sounded like more of a goodbye than it should have? It felt like…like he was saying goodbye not just to this class, but to the school. Or maybe I was just going crazy. That was entirely possible.
As we were all applauding, Spencer walked up to the stage and gave Ezra a hug. He was grinning. He'd grown to love my friends almost as much as I did. And she looked so calm when she turned around and walked to the microphone.
"Wow, I'm not sure how I'm going to top that," she said. Everyone chuckled. "Mr. Fitz, ladies and gentlemen. You know, Mr. Hackett wasn't joking when he said that Mr. Fitz was everyone's favorite teacher. And there's a very good reason for that. Mr. Fitz took classic literature that most students would have hated and gave it a real-life application. He took the time to make sure that we actually learned something useful from these amazing authors. Um, I remember last year, he was teaching To Kill a Mockingbird and he spent an entire day on literally two sentences in that book, because he thought it was an important enough lesson. To this day, I remember the quote. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be old and senile in a nursing home and still remember it. The quote was, 'I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.' I think my friends and I thought Mr. Fitz knew more than he was saying on that day. Or at least that he was reading our minds and knew how much we needed to hear those words. Really hear them and understand them.
"I know a lot of you know what has happened to me and my four best friends over the past two years. And you know that it's only recently ended. I'm not going to stand up here and tell you about the horrific things we went through. No one wants to hear that, trust me. Instead, I'm going to tell you what we learned from it. Or at least what I learned from it. I learned that we are all stronger than we ever thought possible, and braver. That we can handle anything life throws at us. We might not like it, and it might be the hardest thing we've ever gone through, but we can do it. We can do anything. I learned that having people that you can trust by your side is absolutely essential. That if you don't trust people and let them help you, you will fall off the deep end and feel like you're drowning and grasping for a life raft. I learned that friends are that life raft. That they're the thing that makes life worth living, even when it seems like there is no end to the pain in sight. I learned that there is nothing more important in this world than love. Love from family, love from friends, love from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Knowing that you're loved makes all the difference in the world. When you're being abused by a faceless monster, when you feel like you're the most despised person in the whole world, you need someone who loves you there with you. Someone who can remind you that you still matter. Someone who can tell you that, somehow, even when it seems impossible, everything is going to be okay. That they're going to stick by your side and help you through whatever life throws at you. And I learned that when you find those people, you have to hold on to them, and you can never take them for granted. Because one day, when you least expect it, everything can change.
"Just like now. Today. Everything is about to change for all of us. We're about to leave the safety and comfort of high school and go out into the unknown. Some of us will leave town and go to college in new and different places. Some of us will stay here and go to college. And some of us will start jobs or apprenticeships right away. And it's scary. But we can do it. We can be brave and face the obstacles our lives throw at us. As long as we have our friends and people that we trust and love with us, we can do anything. Like Mr. Fitz, I'm also going to leave you with a quote. But this one is actually from a children's book. Dr. Seuss was a pretty smart guy. This is from Oh, The Places You'll Go! 'You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.' Thank you."
Yep, I was a mess after that. I had tears streaming down my face as I stood up and gave Spencer a standing ovation. She'd told us her valedictorian speech was going to be epic. And oh, was she right.
A lot of what she'd said had taken me back to six months ago, with Ezra and Elijah. I'd had to be strong and brave. I hadn't had a choice. But I'd trusted Wesley to help me and Ezra when we needed it, and I'd trusted both of them to do what they had to in order to get Elijah out of our lives, just like they'd trusted me to do my part. I'd trusted my friends enough to bring them into the loop and to let them help me as I worked through everything that had happened to me. And I'd trusted Ezra to help me through one of the worst days of my life when I'd had my pregnancy scare a few weeks later. And somehow, through all of it, I'd survived.
The problem was, now I was going to have to let my friends go. We were all spreading out to go to different places for school. And I was going to have to do something even harder too. I was going to have to leave Ezra. Not permanently. I wasn't breaking up with him. But I was moving a couple of thousand miles away, and I was going to have to change the dynamics of our relationship because of that. It was going to kill me inside, but I was going to have to do it. I almost wished I'd decided to stay here and go to Hollis. Or that he could go there. But he'd said it last year. I couldn't just pack up my high school English teacher and take him with me. He was much more than that to me, obviously, but the point remained the same. He didn't want me to miss out on anything else because of him. He wanted me to have a normal college experience. And to go and meet new people and try new things.
I pretty much zoned out while the mayor spoke. More of the same "making a difference in the world" stuff. And I kind of zoned out through the first few letters of the alphabet when they were handing out diplomas. But I snapped out of it in enough time to hear Alison's name being called and cheer for her. Then Emily's. Then Spencer's. Then Hanna's. They'd all given Ezra hugs when he'd handed them their diplomas, so that meant I could too without drawing attention to myself.
"Aria Montgomery," Mr. Hackett said.
I walked out and shook Mr. Hackett's hand, then walked over to Ezra who was waiting with my diploma and a huge grin. I gave him a hug, and he held me tight. Almost too tight. People might notice. But it seemed like he didn't care. After this moment, he wasn't my teacher anymore.
"I love you," he whispered right into my ear.
"I love you, too," I whispered back.
And then I walked off the stage and back into my seat and waited patiently as the second half of the alphabet was called. It felt like it took forever, though it was probably only half an hour.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you your Rosewood High School Class of 2012," Mr. Hackett said. "Graduates, you may now turn your tassels."
In unison, the entire graduating class turned their tassels and then threw their caps into the air. And then we found our families in the sea of people. Somehow, all of my friends and I wound up together with my parents.
"Spencer, that valedictorian speech was awesome," Emily said.
"You definitely knocked it out of the park," Alison agreed.
"No kidding," I echoed. "You nailed it, Spence."
"I have never been more proud to be friends with a brainiac," Hanna teased. "You were amazing."
"Thanks, guys," Spencer said, clearly uncomfortable with the praise.
"Girls, come on, get together. I need a picture," my mom said.
We all got together for a couple of pictures, and then I took one with each of my friends individually.
"Hey, Aria, I think someone else is waiting for you," Alison said a few minutes later, looking to the right.
I looked over, and Ezra was acting like he was talking to other people, but clearly waiting for me. I was torn. I did want to go see him, but this wasn't really the setting for a public display of affection. I looked back, and my mom was looking at me and smiling. My dad looked like he would rather be at a root canal appointment than see this, but I could also tell he wasn't going to stop me.
"Aria, he's not your teacher anymore," my mom said. "It's okay. Go on."
I looked at the rest of my friends, not wanting to just abandon them.
"Seriously, Aria, get out of here. We'll see you tonight," Emily said.
"Yeah," Spencer said. "I need to go find Toby anyway. I'm sure he's somewhere in this sea of people trying to find me."
"And I need to find Caleb," Hanna echoed.
"All right, I get the message," I laughed. "I'll see you guys tonight."
And then I practically ran over to the love of my life, who was waiting for me with open arms. He lifted me up at least two feet in the air, then set me back down and kissed me right there in front of the entire graduating class and their families. And every member of the Rosewood High faculty. Literally no one seemed to care. Or they just weren't paying attention. I would have thought at least Mr. Hackett would look disgusted or dismayed, but even he didn't seem to mind.
"Congratulations," Ezra said. "How does it feel?"
"Weird," I chuckled. "Especially right now."
He hugged me again. "I know. It's weird for me too. So, someone else wanted to be here today. I took the liberty of telling him you wouldn't mind."
"Congrats, Aria," I heard a familiar voice behind me.
I turned around, and Wesley was holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a card.
"Wes!" I said, laughing and giving him a hug as I took the flowers and card from him. "I didn't know you were coming back with Ezra."
"I wouldn't have missed this for the world," Wesley said. "Okay, come on, you two, picture time. I get the feeling Aria's mom isn't going to get one for her scrapbook. Someone has to document this."
Ezra and I both tried to protest. Since most of our relationship, other than a few brief months, had been behind closed doors, there weren't really that many pictures of the two of us together. So it was strange for us to pose for pictures. But since Wesley wasn't taking no for an answer, we let him take a couple.
"Hey, come with me for a second," Ezra said suddenly, and I took his outstretched hand without a word.
He led me to his old classroom, which was now stripped bare. It wasn't guaranteed that he would be in the same room next year, so he'd had to take everything out of the room. He'd done that last week, since he'd been away in New York this week. It had been so weird taking the final exam in this room. It hadn't even really felt like his classroom or his class. He closed the door behind us, then turned around and gave me the kiss he couldn't give me in front of his colleagues and former students.
"Sorry to drag you away from your family, but I needed to ask you something, and I didn't want to do it in the middle of a crowd of people," he said.
"What is it?" I asked.
He took a deep breath. "Look, I have to go to the cabin tomorrow. And honestly, I don't know if I can handle going by myself. I haven't been back since…well, you know. I know this is asking a lot, but will you come with me? Please?"
Why he would think that was asking a lot was beyond me. I would have gone with him to the end of the earth if he'd asked me to. Going back to the cabin was nothing. I actually wanted some time completely alone with him. We did have some talking to do, which I'd been putting off.
"Of course," I told him. "What time should I be at your place in the morning? I'd say I'd spend the night, but I don't think that's going to fly tonight."
He chuckled. "Yeah, probably not. And you'll probably be up pretty late, so how's ten? Too early?"
"No, ten sounds good," I said, and kissed him again.
Something in the way he held me as we kissed, and even in the way he kissed me…it was different. I couldn't explain it. It still made me weak at the knees and gave me butterflies in my stomach, but it was also calming at the same time. Like he was trying to assure me that we were okay, that we would make this work no matter how far apart we were. And suddenly I was a lot less worried about us. We would never lose this. We couldn't. We were stronger than that.
Ezra
My heart was in my throat as we pulled up to the cabin. I was nervous about going back inside, but I was even more nervous about the conversation Aria and I were about to have. And I was especially nervous about asking her to marry me. I was almost ready to chicken out and not ask her, but I reminded myself that I was okay with it if she wasn't ready to say yes right now. That this was just symbolic at this point and I wasn't going to actually start planning a wedding for at least a couple of years even if I was lucky enough that she did say yes.
I looked over at Aria, and she looked nervous too. She didn't have great memories of this cabin either. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Well, it was too late now. We were here. Besides, I actually did need to make sure it was clean and that I'd gotten any personal things I wanted out of it. The sale was happening in a couple of weeks. And I really wasn't sure if I could have handled coming out here alone. I would be able to get lost in my head too easily if I was alone.
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked as I turned the car off.
She turned and smiled at me. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm a little nervous about going back in there, but I'll be okay. Why did you have to come here today?"
I took a deep breath; she didn't know that this was my cabin. I'd never told her, and neither had Elijah.
"I'm actually selling it in a couple of weeks, and I need to make sure it's clean and I have everything I want out of it. I'm selling it furnished and as is."
She chuckled. "You know, when most guys want to get their girlfriend a gift, they go for flowers and chocolate. Or maybe jewelry. Not a house."
Wait, she had known? How had she known? Oh, right. Wesley. He really needed to learn to keep his mouth shut. Though he did keep quiet when it was really important.
I laughed and kissed her. "My brother needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut. But you are worth much more than this. I wish we'd actually been able to use this cabin the way it was intended to be used at least once."
"Me too," she agreed. "But we'll find another place. Somewhere that's just ours, without all the baggage attached to it."
I smiled; she had no idea. "Yeah, we will."
I took a breath and steeled myself; I really wasn't looking forward to going inside.
"You ready to go in?" I asked.
"Ready as I'll ever be. Let's go."
We walked in to find…a disaster. Elijah had broken pretty much every plate and bowl here and had thrown the bed upside down and even thrown a couple of decorative pieces against the wall and broken them. He'd been beyond furious when he'd found out I was gone.
"Ezra." Aria's voice brought me out of my thoughts.
I turned to look at her, not saying anything. I realized I was hyperventilating, and I tried to calm my breathing.
"Listen to me," she said, putting her arms around my neck. "It's over. Elijah's dead. He can't hurt either of us anymore. Come on, let's just get this cleaned up and then we can relax for a little while, okay?"
I pulled her close and held her for several minutes before letting go. How was it that she was only eighteen and she was, in some ways, more mature than I was?
"You're right," I said. "Let's get this over with."
An hour, several cardboard boxes of broken glass, and a few tears (from both of us) later, we had gotten the cabin back in order. I put on a pot of coffee and waited until it was done and I'd poured us each a cup before working up the nerve to actually start talking.
"So," I started, "I think we've both been putting off this conversation because neither of us wants to think about it. But we need to talk about what's going to happen in a couple of months."
She sighed, and I saw a tear in the corner of one of her eyes. "I know. We do. But you're right. I don't want to think about it. It's hard enough thinking about leaving my friends. Every time I think about leaving you, I just want to start crying. I know we'll make it work, but I still don't want to think about being that far away from you."
I reached out to take her hand. "I know. But you're going to college. You are going to meet so many new people and get to have all kinds of amazing experiences. Having at least one professor who makes absolutely no sense when he's talking. Sorority hazing. Co-ed dorm bathrooms and showers. Having your neighbors play music way too loud at one in the morning when you have a test at eight. Your roommate, who you absolutely can't stand, bringing a different guy back to your room every week."
She laughed. "Wow, you're really making me look forward to life in the dorms."
I chuckled too, then took a deep breath and reached into my pocket for the first of (hopefully) two things I was going to give her today. A second key that I'd had made to my apartment.
"But, if it ever gets to be too much for you and you need somewhere to go…" I put the key in her hand.
She looked down and gasped. I could tell she was making the connection, but that she was having a hard time wrapping her head around it.
"That's the key to my apartment in Savannah," I finished. "I got a job teaching 11th grade English there starting next year, pending getting my Georgia teaching license. I'm going back next month to take a licensing exam."
Aria smiled. "You weren't in New York this week, were you?"
"No, I wasn't. I had my final interview at the high school on Wednesday. Wes went with me to help me at least get a few things set up in the apartment. And to complete the illusion of me being in New York."
"Why didn't you tell me about any of this?"
"I didn't want to say anything until it was certain. I didn't want to get your hopes up if this wasn't going to work out. And then by the time everything fell into place, I figured I'd just surprise you this weekend instead."
Aria leaned over and kissed me, clearly overjoyed at this news. And now that I knew she wasn't upset with me for lying to her about where I was this week, I finally let myself be happy about it too. Regardless of what her answer to the question I was about to ask her was, we would at least be together. That was what was really important.
"That was a pretty elaborate surprise," she said when she finally broke the kiss a couple of minutes later. "Let me guess. You also didn't want to influence my decision to put a deposit down on the dorms."
"You would be right. You didn't get a normal high school experience thanks to me, but I'm going to make sure that you get a relatively normal college experience. You are going to enjoy all the joys of living in the dorms for at least a year. Then, if you can't stand it and want to move in with me, or even if you just want to move in with me anyway, I will happily have you."
"You realize you're completely insane, right? Picking up and moving across the country for me?"
And there was my opening. I took another deep breath.
"Actually, for the first time in my life, I'm thinking clearly," I started. "I'm not doing this on a whim. Ever since I was a little kid, when Elijah was so cruel to me and Wesley, I never wanted to have anything in my life that I couldn't stand to lose. Because I knew that he'd just take it from me. Our parents got Wes a puppy for his fourth birthday and he and I both loved that dog, but Elijah killed it and mutilated it almost beyond recognition a few months later. When he met Maggie after he got out of the institution my mom had had him put in, he scared her half to death. And when she found out she was pregnant, my mom paid her to leave town and never talk to me again because she didn't want Elijah to find out about it. I moved to Rosewood and changed my name to Fitz trying to keep him from finding me. I paid for everything with cash and money orders to avoid a paper trail. That was why you found that huge bag of cash in my sock drawer. And that was all working great…until I met you. I knew it was dangerous. I knew that if I settled down and started getting careless, he would figure out that there was something in my life he could use to hurt me. But I couldn't help it. I literally could not stop myself from loving you.
"When I found Elijah's apartment in Ravenswood, when I saw that he'd figured out that hurting you was the best way to hurt me, I was terrified. But before I even had a chance to try to protect you, he took me. And right here, under this floor, I literally fell apart. Because I knew what he was going to do to you before he even did it. And I was terrified of you finding out who he was, because I couldn't stand the thought of him torturing or killing you to hurt me. If I could have died to spare you the pain, I would have. The first time he brought you out here, the day after he took me, I wished I was dead."
"Ezra, stop. You don't have to do this to yourself," Aria interrupted me.
"There's actually a point to what I was saying, but I did kind of go off on a tangent," I told her. "The point is, everything that happened here in this cabin, everything that happened when you got me out of here, and then when Charlotte took you and your friends, it made me realize something. You're the one thing in my life that I can't stand to lose, Aria. I literally can't even begin to imagine my life without you. And I don't want to. Ever. I want you in my life, for the rest of my life. So, that being said, I want to ask you something. You don't have to give me an answer right now, and I'm not trying to rush you into anything. But if anything is going to prove to you that I'm one hundred percent serious about this move, and about you, it's this." I took one last deep breath and pulled the ring box out of my pocket as I got down on one knee in front of the love of my life. "Aria Marie Montgomery, will you marry me?"
Aria had tears in her eyes when I was done, and this was one of the few times when I couldn't tell what she was thinking. At all. I just stayed there on one knee, waiting for what seemed like an eternity for her to say something. Anything.
"I don't know which is crazier," she finally said. "The fact that you're proposing to me literally one day after my high school graduation, or…the fact that I'm saying yes. Absolutely, completely, one hundred percent, yes."
She leaned to kiss me, and I stood up, picking her up with me. I turned around and sat back down on the couch, pulling her down onto my lap.
"I love you so much," I said, half-laughing. I couldn't contain my joy.
"I love you, too," she said, kissing me again. "More than I can even wrap my head around."
I realized I was still just holding the open ring box, and I handed it to her.
"So are you ready to actually wear that, or…?" I asked. "Like I said, I'm not trying to rush anything. Matter of fact, I want to wait at least a couple of years. At least until you're old enough to have a glass of champagne at our wedding. But I just wanted you to understand that I'm not moving to Savannah with you on a whim. I'm doing it because I love you and I don't want to spend a day in my life without you."
"I wouldn't have said yes if I wasn't ready to wear the ring," she said, taking the ring out of the box.
"Wait, that's my job," I teased, taking it from her and sliding it on her finger. I kissed her again.
"I'm not looking forward to telling my dad, though," she chuckled.
"Oh, he already knows."
"Seriously? You actually asked my parents?"
"Yes, I did," I told her. "Your dad just told me that you're eighteen now and he couldn't stop me. And your mom was fine with it once I assured her you weren't pregnant, as long as I didn't rush an actual wedding. She's actually happy that you're not going to be alone in Savannah. That you're going to have someone there who loves and supports you no matter what."
"I should have known," Aria said, shaking her head. "You really are a hopeless romantic, Ezra Fitz. And it's one of the many reasons why I love you."
As our lips met again, I realized something. Elijah had failed. Completely. He'd tried to tear my life apart, to kill me, to destroy everything and everyone I cared about. But in the end, he'd had the exact opposite effect. He'd brought Aria and I back together where we belonged. I wasn't deluding myself. I knew we had both changed. Neither of us were the same people that we had been before this all started. But the people we'd become were even better. We were braver now. Stronger. And, clearly, more committed to each other now than ever before. Elijah hadn't torn Aria and I apart like he'd planned; he'd brought us closer together.