Chapter Ten: Breaking point

Indeed when they entered the indoor pool hall they could see Grif and Tucker rolling over the ground, wrestling against each other and shouting insults. The sight would have been much more hilarious if it had been a friendly tussle because Tucker was only wearing his shorts while struggling against someone in power armor.
Wash was convinced that Tucker would be superior to Grif or likely any other of the sim trooper (asides from angry Caboose). But without his power armor he could be lucky that Grif wasn't outright punching him.

Clearly Tucker was the more offensive one in this but Grif wasn't fussy either with how he insulted the teal soldier and tried to throw him down or hold him on the ground.

With an angry growl Wash went over to the two. Tucker just managed to punch Grif right in his face. But before Grif could hit back – with an armored fist – Wash gripped each of them on their upper arm, hoisting them up.

"What is going on here!?" he shout, holding both men in a firm grip. Sure some quarrels between teammates were normal. Not like they never fought with each other back during the Project. But even considered how immature these guys often were, that was going too far.

"Dude" Tucker started to whine then. "Let go. You're having a fucking bone breaking grip!"

Even if Tucker was quick to whine, Wash slightly loosened his grip. It was easy to accidentally hurt someone without armor when you yourself were wearing one.

"What is going on here?!" Wash questioned again, his voice pissed.

"Why don't you ask your boyfriend? I guess he could tell it to you better than me!" snapped Grif. Wash scowled at him darkly mostly for the word 'boyfriend'. It didn't seem quite right. And he didn't want to hear it in that context.

Grif spit out some blood and Wash could see that his lower lip was split open. Ouch.

Sister stood a little away, looking over somewhat unsure and worried. Simmons meanwhile was searching for a tissue or something.

Wash exhaled, reminding himself to stay calm. "I want to know what is going on" he said again, still slightly edgy. "From both of you."

Tucker shifted and tried to move away but he quickly gave up after he realized Wash wouldn't let go. So he snorted angrily. "I was just swimming and talking with Kai when Grif showed up and accused me to seduce and exploit her. Which I didn't do since she is here. And I'm not going to, even if he thinks so!" Tucker started to babble. He was upset, still glaring at Grif instead of looking at Wash.

"Grif is just fucking crazy and overchallenged at the moment and he can't take me telling him that he can't solve his problems by locking up his sister or hiding himself behind whatever act he's actually trying." Continued the teal soldier, trying to cross his arms. But it just looked awkward with Wash still holding him.

"Why don't you look after Kai then? I think she would prefer you over me anyway. Besides that you know nothing about me. And you already have seduced and exploited her!" snapped Grif before Simmons came over to whip away the blood from his lip.

Wash sighed again. God damn it, what a kindergarten.

"I asked you to tell me why you were on the ground wrestling. Not to continue arguing."

"Well, this is why we were wrestling. Because Tucker suddenly reacts snappy when we act like he wants us for his philanderer-image, because it seems that he wants to get all serious suddenly."

At Grifs word Wash turned his head to give the teal soldier a questioning look. Serious? Tucker?

The guy looked more ridicules as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish on land. "That's not what it is about! I'm just saying I didn't touch Kai like that since she is here! And I never exploited her! And you can't blame me for shit from what, seven years ago!" he defended himself. Not letting Grif a chance to reply anything, Wash cut them off quickly.

"What part about not continue arguing was unclear to you two?"

"Hey, uh, can I finally say something? Cauze you know, it's kinda about me." Sister asked. She stood over at the pool, looking oddly thoughtful. Well. Here goes nothing. "Go ahead."

"Well, I like you as bor, Dex. I just like Tucker to fuck" she opened bluntly and put a finger against her chin. "And you know. We were alone in this canyon, it was boring when there wasn't the crazy O'Mally thing or the black bitch. And Tucker likes sex and I like sex and it was cool", explained the girl and added then with a huge smile: "He actually uses condoms. Expect from the one time we did it anal on the-"

"Okay! Thank you very much, Kaikaina. I think we get the point." Wash quickly cut in.

"Too much information", grunted Grif.

Dear lord, why did they always had to talk about their sex live as if about the weather? Wash shook his head with a groan and then looked over at Tucker. The guy grinned unusually sheepish.

"Okay. Look guys. I see you have differences and all that need to be cleared. Despite everything, I'm not your babysitter or something so get this sorted out yourself" Wash said then, still holding both men even if Grif had tried to breaker free. "But seeing you two still have too much energy left, you are going to run extra laps tomorrow." He announced what caused Tucker to groan and Kai to snicker. So the oldest among them shot the girl a glare. "You will be doing exercise tomorrow, too."

"Wo-ho!" Sister cheered. Then, "Wait, what? But that's' exhausting!"

"Exactly the point."

Only now Wash let go of Tucker and Grif. And as soon as he did, the orange soldier yanked his arm away and stormed towards the exit. To Washs content but surprise not even Tucker commented the other soldiers 'fuck you guys'. The hall became silent and Wash rubbed a hand over his neck with a heavy sigh. They really were testing his patience a lot lately.

Sister left then, apparently becoming bored. Wash let her because he couldn't have an eye her all the time either way. And by now most people around here were 'prepared' to deal with her. Tucker meanwhile crossed his arms and was constantly glaring at the exit while he rubbed over his hurting upper arm.

In the end, it was Simmons to speak up first.

"I know what Grif did is not excusable from my side. And I won't excuse for him. But it seems to me you're not completely understanding his situation." He started, calm and objective. Wash appreciated that.

"First of all, we all have the daily burdens of the war, that's something we all must carry. Second, there's me and the relationship we have. We also need to look after our relationship or it will die. And I'm not easy with all my problems I have back from my childhood." Wash felt the need to massage the bridge of his nose. Which didn't work while wearing a helmet. So he settled for frowning and crossing his arms. He knew that they were all under a lot of stress and pressure. And having a relationship in a war was everything but easy. It was one of the many reasons why he and Connie never really were a pair. Wash glanced at Tucker. Somehow it wasn't that different with the teal soldier. Wash shook his head, as if to clear it. Connie never cared about him in that manner. And Connie was dead.

Tucker was meanwhile still staring ahead, pretending not to care what Simmons said. But he was someone you could easily read if you knew how to. He tapped his fingers impatiently against his upper arm. It had nothing to do with being nervous or upset in Tuckers case. It was a distracted thing. When he was listening closely and paying attention. He also was glancing at Simmons then and there, whenever he was sure neither of them would notice.

Apparently he also figured it was better to shut up now.

But Wash also didn't ask about Simmons issues. It was up to him what he told them and what not. Besides, he had a good guess about it since the guy spent a while at Blue base.

"And third, there is Kai. She often keeps him up at night if she's returning late or wandering around in the house or looking TV with high volume. And if he finally should be able to sleep, there are thoughts keeping him up."

Wash groaned at Simmons words. Oh yeah, that he noticed to. He sent her to bed about five times when he came home in the middle of night and she was doing whatever in the house. Twice he unplugged her the TV. What had about as much effect as all of Grifs measures. None at all.

"You know, he isn't really angry with you anymore for pissing him off the other day. But I guess he had expected an excuse of your side because you did so." Explained Simmons now towards Tucker but all he got was a snort.

"He's a person who has the intention that he needs to carry the burden of this world alone. I guess that's also something from his childhood he never had. Because he was too occupied in being the head of the family, looking after his mom, raising and educating his sister and getting through school himself."

Tucker still stubbornly pretended to ignore Simmons. But Wash was sure he already was getting a bad conscience. Tucker was by far more a caring soul than you would give him credit for. Or he would like to admit.

"I know it's a big request I have. But would it be possible to cut Dex's duty a bit back? Or giving him some free days to sleep and collect new strength? I know there's something up and I'm pretty sure that the breakdown will come soon. I would like to be around when it comes and try to help Grif getting back to his former self. Because he's breaking apart. As well as our relationship."

Wash looked at Simmons quietly. He knew Grif was on the edge and needed a break from all that seemed to crush him. But many people here were the same. He sighed heavily, putting a hand against his visor. They somehow always managed to put him in an inner conflict. Between what he knew he needed to do because it just had to be done and on the other side what he wanted to do because he meant well with the guys.

"You know I can't promise you anything, Simmons." He finally said.

"I don't want you to promise it, I want you to do your possible to give Grif as much space as possible."

Simmons request made Wash sigh again. Just what should he say? They were sim troopers. And even if they could pull of more than anyone would ever give them credit for, most of them were sim troopers for a reason. They just didn't belong into a real war. That's why he had wanted to send them home, no matter how much he liked their crazy, annoying and weird company.

"Alright." The Freelancer agreed then in defeat. "I still want Grif to do the drills. It's good for him even if he hates it. But I'll try to get him released from other duties."

Somehow it felt a little unfair if he said this. He had to keep things up as well, even if he didn't feel well. Everyone had to. That was war. And Wash knew you could take far more than you ever imagined if it came down to it.

The thing just was that he didn't want it for Grif or anyone else to come down to it. He had been there, where you thought you were as broken and lost as you could be, just to realize you could push on only to have more and more broken. He never fully came back from there and probably he never would. And he didn't want anyone near there.

But Simmons exhaled, looking really relived. "Thanks, I try to get him back on track meanwhile."

"Just remember that we are in a warzone. Things won't get easier, even if we ship Kaikaina home soon."

"I know, but a lot of stress will be taken off of his shoulders when we know she's on her way back home."

Wash snorted. "I guess having your siblings in the squad isn't something everyone can deal with." Oddly enough, he didn't think about his sister. He thought about North and South. As good as they were together, if South hadn't been a Freelancer as well, he would probably still live, too. Again Wash shook his head. There were just too many ifs.

"Did Grif at least tell you what was up?" Asked Tucker suddenly. He sounded snappy and angry, his arms still crossed. He was scrunching up his nose and gave his best impression of 'I think the guy is an asshole'. Wash smirked slightly under the helmet. The question alone showed that Tucker cared.

"Yeah, he did", answered Simmons vaguely.

"Well, great", grunted the teal soldier.

Wash shook his head again. What a thickhead. "Either way. I think we should grab some lunch now and maybe you should look after Grif."

"I guess I get the food and go directly to Grif if it is okay for you. I think it's better to look after him. I have the feeling like he shouldn't be alone because the breakdown could come every moment." Simmons agreed.

"Okay, just inform me when you need my help."

"Yeah, and thanks guys."