Author's Note: Yay chapter ten! Rain sometimes sounds like sizzling bacon. Everyone is pretty much ignoring the treaty in this chapter so it would be best if you did too. Don't own Twilight, Nanny 911, yatta yatta, Frosted Flakes, (Though Sorina loves them) or the hair people had in the 70s. Edward's still a little drunkish.

Chapter Ten: Aww, He Purrs

New Nanny's POV

It was noon already and Edward was still asleep. I decided to go wake him up. He was sprawled out on his couch, doing highly inappropriate things to it, and purring? He was definitely purring. His head twitched in my direction and a growl escaped his lips. I rejoined the rest of the family. "He's purring. And growling. Does he always do that?" They all nodded. This is a weird family. From the observations Stella had left me they obviously had a lot of issues. I had decided to go with her rules. Poor Stella. I was almost positive these children had tricked her somehow.

I went back up to Edward and Emmett came with me this time. Upon entering the room, Emmett practically attacked him. He opened his eyes a little then shut them immediately. He groaned and tried to move away from his brother. He looked like he might be sick. "Emmett go," was all he managed before Emmett picked him up and started running. I followed them back to the living room. Edward was set unsteadily on his feet and he fell onto a chair that had been moved while I was gone.

He sat there with his eyes closed and his hands holding his head. Carlisle was looking at him concerned. He went over to him and looked him over in a doctorly fashion. He seemed surprised. "Are you drunk?" he asked him. Drunk? Stella didn't say anything about drinking. Edward opened his eyes slightly and replied, "No. Last night I was drunk. Now I think I'm, umm, hung over."

"Edward why were you drinking?"

"Alice and Bella made me. It was kinda fun. I had twenty rounds of this stuff called Jose Cuervo and I tried some beer. It was nasty. I had three," he said proudly.

Carlisle shook his head before addressing Alice. "Why did you and Bella make him drink?"

"It was Bella's idea!" she screamed defensively. "She's a bad influence. She thought Edward needed to have a few 'human experiences' and drinking is what she came up with."

I noticed something else then; Edward was wearing a skirt. Stella wasn't very good with her observations; she hadn't mentioned he was a cross dresser. "Why are you wearing a skirt?" I questioned him. He looked down and screamed. "What the bleep! This is the skirt Bella was wearing yesterday! Alice how could you let me do something like that?"

"Quit overreacting Edward. You didn't do anything. You're too much of a prude. You just thought it would be funny if you and Bella switched pants. No idea why, that skirt is so not your color." I had to agree, hot pink was so not his color.

Edward sighed in relief. Then, the doorbell rang as if some one was pushing the button over and over. No one moved. Edward looked around, rolled his eyes with some difficulty, and staggered over to the door. He opened it to reveal a tall girl with dark skin. She had her nose wrinkled in disgust. Edward was the only one surprised that she was at the door. His mouth fell open and he turned to Carlisle. Carlisle shrugged and started making out with Esme.

The girl let herself in. She seemed uncomfortable being here. "Have you seen Jacob, Leech?" she said. Leech? What kind of nickname is that? Does he drink blood or something? This guy was seriously messed up. "I haven't seen him. Can't you hear him? Why did you think we would know where he is?"

"Because Bloodsucker, we think he was kidnapped and you are the only ones with motive. Can't you hear him?"

Edward stood there for five minutes with his face screwed up in concentration. I didn't hear anything. He said, "I hear a very imaginative current of profanities coming from the basement. What is he doing in our basement?" He gasped and looked at Carlisle before heading off to the basement.

Leah's POV

I followed him towards a door, presumably leading to the basement. "Ya know, I'm pretty sure kidnapping is against the treaty."

"Don't look at me. I didn't do it."

"Then who did?"

"Carlisle."

"Carlisle, as in perfect doctor, head of your coven, guy who created the treaty in the first place Carlisle?"

"Yep!"

"Why?"

"It was stupid and reckless."

Of course, everyone kidnaps werewolves just because it's stupid and reckless. We went down some stairs and ended up in a giant room packed with stuff. "This way," he said, "He's by the stuff from the 1920s."

"Stuff from the 1920s?"

"Vampires are hopeless packrats."

"Holy bleep! What is that?"

"That is a wig. It was vey fashionable in the seventies."

The thing he called a wig looked like a big blond afro. "Might I ask whose wig?"

"Carlisle's. He only wore it for two days but, it was hilarious. Alice threw a fit, but we got blackmail pictures!"

"Sure. What's that?"

"That, my dear Leah, is a sandwich."

"First of all, don't call me dear. Second of all, is that what it is under all that green stuff?"

"It was Carlisle's sandwich. Ya know, from back when he could eat."

"How old is Carlisle?"

"379."

"You have a sandwich from the 1600s?"

"Hopeless packrats, remember?"

"Ok, I suppose that was actually a Confederate flag from the Battle of Galveston."

"It was more like a skirmish, really. It was Jasper's."

"Right, so where is Jake in all this?"

"We have to go left at the 1830s, right at the 1950s, circle the 1910s, and if we hit the priceless lost Picassos, we've gone too far."

I looked at him like he was mental. I mean they must be mental. Really, just…mental. "We are mental," he said. After a while of wandering past such things as accordions and Elvis records, we found Jake bound and gagged. I ungagged him and his cursing became more distinct. Once he was free of his bindings as well he ran away, hopefully in the direction of the door. We went upstairs and found him cussing out Carlisle. I dragged him out the door and into the woods. We transformed and ran back to La Push.

A/N: Hello! Another chapter down, more to come. As soon as we come up with an actual plot line. Also we'll tell you who the replacement Nanny is. Her name just never came up with hung-over Edward and Leah to deal with. I wonder if there really is a 356-year-old sandwich. Melanie just hit me in the lip with a laptop. I swear, it is swelling! Sorina, it is not. Please review. We only got one review for the last chapter. And my emoticon looked more like this. : ( than this : )