A/N: Okay, so first off I'm sorry about how long it's taken me to update this, school just ended for me yesterday and we had finals and everything on top of work it was kind of crazy, but now I'm on break and just have work, so I should have plenty of time to continually update this ASAP :D And also I just wanted to thank everyone who's been reading this, you guys are the best 3 (especially those who review! *hinthint*) also, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to respond personally to your reviews, I'm definitely going to from now XD
*Disclaimer* I still don't own Glee. This writing is purely for my own enjoyment.
For the next two nights Becca slept between Blaine and Kurt, while her fever had broken she still complained of a sore throat and continued to keep Blaine and Kurt up sniffling and begging for tissues. Kurt woke up a few days later with Becca's arms wrapped around him. He let out a yawn as he carefully got out of bed as not to wake Becca, noticing that Blaine wasn't there. It was unusual for Kurt to walk up without Blaine without knowing where he was, but Kurt didn't think much of it as he headed into the living room. It was strange for it to be so silent, Becca was usually playing with her dolls or putting on some sort of show for him and Blaine. Kurt looked around the room, thinking about when he and Blaine had first gotten the apartment a year ago.
They'd searched everywhere for a new apartment in a different area of the city after a horrifying experience in their old neighborhood. Neither Kurt nor Blaine were sure exactly how they'd managed to get the apartment, located in the Upper East Side they were up against other potential buyers who had much more credit to their names than two twenty-eight year old newly-weds. Even with their salaries, everyone else vying for the house had the same impressive salaries, if not more. Blaine had always thought it was because the landlord developed a soft-spot for the two after meeting them.
"Hi, I'm Lindsay Hues, the landowner." A tall, middle-aged mother smiled broadly at Blaine and Kurt as they walked around the apartment with their real estate agent.
"Oh, hi. I'm Blaine and this is my husband Kurt." Blaine said shaking her hand before gesturing to Kurt, who waved quietly, uncharacteristically.
"We just love the décor of the apartment." He added as Blaine squeezed his hand.
"Well thank you, and it's nice to meet you." She continued to stare at Kurt "What happened to your eye? And your arm?" She asked blatantly, the two would notice later that subtly would never be her strong suit. She had noticed the bruises that covered his face, and the cast on his arm covered with writing from various friends, mostly Blaine and Finn's random doodling.
"I was mugged outside our apartment recently." Kurt explained quietly.
"That's why we're looking for a new apartment." Blaine added "We decided we needed to move to a safer neighborhood and the lease on our old place was coming to an end so we just decided not to renew it. We'd talked about doing it sooner, because we have the money, but we, well mostly I grew attached to the place."
"Oh you poor thing," Lindsay had said embracing Kurt, making him wince in pain, her not knowing Kurt's ribs were also bruised.
"I love this room," Kurt murmured as they walked into the room that would later become Becca's room "the color's perfect." He marveled at the light shade of yellow covering the walls.
"Just imagine," Blaine said "Our son or daughter sleeping in here."
"Any name ideas?"
"Elizabeth if it's a girl, Cameron if it's a boy."
"Elizabeth," Kurt looked up at Blaine, a slight smile "you'd be okay with naming her after my mom?"
"Of course."
"I like Cameron too." Kurt nodded before adding "You know last night, when we were at Finn and Rachel's, she offered to be our surrogate."
"Seriously?" Blaine raised his eyebrows "And you're just telling me this now? Is this because you don't want to?"
"I just needed to think about it, but I think I do." Kurt looked at Blaine "But only if you do."
"Rachel?" Blaine gave a look of mock disgust before laughing "Imagine, another Rachel. Just like Becca."
Kurt laughed "But seriously," He looked at Blaine "do you want to do this?"
"Yes," Blaine said as a smile spread across Kurt's face.
"We can call Rachel and Finn tonight." Kurt smiled between kisses.
"Aren't they just adorable?" Lindsay said to their real estate agent as they pulled away and let themselves be shown around the rest of the apartment.
"Oh my God Kurt! Check out this balcony!" Blaine exclaimed as he headed out two glass doors Kurt hadn't even noticed "This is so much better than the fire escape!"
"Yeah," Kurt breathed as he looked out off the balcony, which was admittedly beautiful. It had white stone ground, and a clear glass barrier surrounding it with flowers set in the corner. But the view was what amazed him as he gazed out at Manhattan "Can you imagine what this must look like at night? And this balcony, this whole apartment, it's so… fancy." He finished, Kurt had always loved lavish things, and it was strange to be in a position where he could actually afford them.
"We're in the Upper East Side babe," Blaine smiled pulling Kurt towards him as they both gazed off the balcony at the city.
The balcony was where Kurt found Blaine later that morning, he noticed him through the open glass doors, standing there staring out onto the city. As Kurt moved closer he could hear Blaine's voice, he grew confused as he noticed Blaine had no phone, he appeared to just be talking to himself.
"I know I don't do this often, and it's kind of weird right now, it's been three months since the accident, but I need you. Things are just so hard with everything, it'd be nice to know something's out there. I want to believe this is all part of some plan, but it's difficult because I hate this." Blaine was saying, and it hit Kurt what he was doing; Blaine was praying. Every part of Kurt told him he shouldn't be eavesdropping, but he was oddly fascinated, this wasn't like when his dad had had a heart attack and the Glee Club had prayed for him, it was strangely different and less formal. Yet at the same time it was more or less the same, Blaine reaching out trying to find solace in something.
"I hate what happened." Kurt watched as Blaine continued after a few deep breaths "I hate that she won't have her parents. I hate the term legal guardian and everything it stands for. I hate that look people give us when they find out what happened. I hate that I'm afraid to ever mention Finn or Rachel because every time I do I upset her. I hate that Kurt and I will never be the same. I hate that I can never tell her no. I hate that I feel guilty every time I get drunk because all I think about is her, because what if she needs me? I hate that Kurt and I hardly ever have sex anymore because we're afraid she'll hear us. I hate that this has changed everything. I hate how I still haven't gotten used to everything, how it doesn't just come naturally. I hate how Kurt and I were planning on kids, but now it's difficult to even consider anyone else besides her." He breathed heavily as he stopped "I knew raising a kid wasn't going to be easy, but I thought I was prepared for that. I just wasn't prepared for this. I never wanted it like this." He sighed "I'm not trying to complain, or ask what to do; I just want to know why." He suddenly stopped as he heard Kurt's footsteps.
"Sorry," Kurt said quickly blushing, finally joining Blaine outside on the balcony "Good morning," he added weakly.
"Morning," Blaine said, a soft smile appearing before quickly fading "Did you hear all of that?" Kurt nodded, but didn't say anything "You probably think I'm selfish," Blaine murmured.
Kurt just chuckled softly "I feel the same way though. Besides, I'm not the person to say that to someone, I wouldn't exactly call myself selfless."
Blaine smiled before looking back onto the city "I haven't prayed in years." He sighed "But last night Becca told me about going to temple with Rachel, and it just got me thinking, maybe it'd make things easier to get them off my chest."
"Did it?"
Blaine shrugged "Yeah, I guess." He took Kurt's hand "And we have each other to get through this with, and Becca makes it all worth it. I'd do anything for you two."
"You're so cheesy," Kurt laughed scrunching his nose "but I know." He kissed Blaine chastely, before either had a chance to say anything else Becca came bounding out to join them on the balcony.
"RAWR!" She said holding her arms out in claws.
"Guess someone's feeling better." Blaine commented before taking her in his arms.
"Yup," Becca nodded as she continued to make clawing motions towards Blaine "I'm a monster!" She informed him.
"Oh my God, she's doing Gaga claws." Kurt cried excitedly "I'm so proud!"
"Gaga?" Becca looked at Kurt confused.
"I think she was just trying to be a monster." Blaine laughed "You know, like the ones we have to check under the beds for every night because we don't allow them in our home?"
"Right," Kurt said seeming slightly disappointed. Becca believed monsters lived under her bed, and after many failed attempts to get her to believe they don't exist, Blaine and Kurt decided to humor her, which had resulted in multiple night-lights after Kurt had informed her that monsters didn't like light because it showed how ugly they were, and how pretty she was.
"Well come on little monster," Blaine said tickling Becca into a giggling fit "go get ready if you want to go to school today, I'll make you some breakfast."
"Pancakes!" Becca cheered.
"With chocolate chips!" Blaine added laughing at the incredulous look he was receiving from Kurt.
"Fine," Kurt consented "but just because she's feeling better." They walked inside to see Becca come out of her room dressed completely mismatched with a polka-dotted pattern dress with striped tights and bright green shoes that clashed magnificently with them.
"You're the one who said letting her dress herself let her express her creativity." Blaine said trying not to laugh as he headed into the kitchen.
"But I didn't know she'd have Rachel and Finn's fashion sense." Kurt said before sighing "I suppose it's okay for now, it does express her creativity, and it is outside the box enough to make a statement, even if it isn't necessarily fashionable."
"Kurt, she's almost five. I really don't think she's planning on making any sort of statement with her outfit out on the playground."
"I was just trying to justify letting her out of the house in that." He said curtly "But if she still dresses like this when she's older I'm becoming her personal fashion coordinator, my niece will not have the fashion sense of her parents."
"Duly noted." Blaine laughed as they ate breakfast and left to take Becca to school where she proudly told anyone who'd listen that she dressed herself.