A/N: Yes, I updated pretty quick this time!! It's a shorter chapter, but hope you guys like it! Will try to update quicker just now! Please review.. I would love to hear what you all think! As always, thanks so much to iluvbones for beta-ing this for me.
Cuddy dragged herself out of bed that morning, already dreading the day ahead. The dinner with her parents had been taxing to say the least. Nothing in particular was wrong (as there usually was when an impromptu dinner was called), instead it was to congratulate her brother on his promotion, and although she was over the moon for her baby brother she wished she could have spent the time with someone else. That same someone who was wishing she was with him too.
--
Later that day, Cuddy wasn't exactly feeling any more upbeat. She had a mountain of paperwork and she still had to meet Laura for lunch. She was worried just what her sister was planning to do to make House notice her, and to just what lengths she was willing to go to do so.
--
As House stood at the sign in desk to the Clinic, none other than Cuddy's sister, Laura walked up to him with a coy grin as she made small talk. House's mind wandered as she began asking about her sister's 'boyfriend of the week' and yammering on – not dissimilar to Cuddy – about her work, or something. He wasn't really listening. He had always wondered what Cuddy would be like if she was more crass and said everything and anything she wanted to without thinking. And now that he knew, he also knew that he preferred 'his' Cuddy, she wouldn't be Cuddy if she didn't think everything through.
At first glance he had thought that she was Cuddy, but the second he turned back, he knew she wasn't.
Exhibit A: She had on pants. Cuddy had only worn pants to work once in the past decade.
Exhibit B: She had her hair in a ponytail, loose and casual. Not Cuddy's style for work.
Exhibit C: Her cleavage was not as … gratuitous as Cuddy's. Thank God he had Lisa as his boss. He had a thing for good cleavage.
Exhibit D: Her eyes were not like Cuddy's. They were the same colour sure, but they didn't hold Cuddy's knowledge, confidence, or her ability to almost read his mind on some occasions.
And last but certainly not least…. Exhibit E: Her ass… nope, her ass was the same. Maybe not quite as rounded, but definitely getting there. It must run in the family, he thought with a smirk.
As he looked down at Cuddy-look-a-like, his smirk widened slightly, noticing how different yet so alike Lisa and Laura were. He was not saying she wasn't attractive – she was – but in his expert opinion Lisa was the prettier one. Lisa's cheekbones were higher and her jaw was set in a stronger line, showing that she meant business, as well as her eyes that he swore could change colour and her hair that always shimmered in the light. 'God, that sounds sappy' he thought, mentally kicking himself for being so much like Wilson.
Noticing that he wasn't paying attention, Laura delivered a quick slap to his arm.
"Ouch! Didn't your mom tell you not to hit a cripple?" He whined, wondering if she had the Cuddy guilt gene too.
"Yeah, but she also taught me to listen. Too bad your mom skipped that lesson," She shot back. Nope, it wasn't genetic then.
"Your sister has better cleavage." He sneered, realising that that comment had come out of nowhere.
"What the hell?!" came her shocked reply.
"House! Clinic. NOW." Came Lisa Cuddy's distinctive voice from the door to her office. After spotting the two chatting she came to her sister's rescue, or that's what she told herself she did it for. It had nothing to do with wanting to get her as far away from House as possible so she couldn't put whatever plan she had into action.
"Aw but mu-um, you're ruining my fun. I was just telling your sister here that your assets are definitely bigger." He deadpanned, quickly grabbing a file and heading into Exam Room One, leaving one Cuddy slightly offended but pleased he noticed her figure, and the other looking a little flustered.
Lisa composed herself quickly, what with being so used to House and his humour and motioned for her sister to come into her office.
"You're early." She said, watching her sister's face break into a grin. "What?" she then added wondering what House had said to make her so pleased.
"Greg just told me your assets were bigger than mine. That means he was checking me out." She said, watching her sister roll her eyes.
Lisa kept her emotions in check, hiding behind a wall of indifference.
"He says that to every female, and a few males I'm sure when he's had just enough Scotch." She said, grabbing her bag and coat and steering her sister towards the exit. "So, where're we going?"
"I thought the cafeteria would do fine." She replied with a grin and Cuddy couldn't help but worry what she was about to walk into.
"You sure, we could go out. I could use a break from this place." She tried to discourage her sister.
"No, here's fine." She replied.
"I don't want to know what you're up to do I?" Cuddy questioned.
"Well. I would, but you wouldn't." she said with a grin and a sideways glance at her, noticing the glare that was shot her way.
--
After looking at 3 people in the clinic in the last half hour (a personal best) and diagnosing one with a cold, one with an STD and one with a friend who had no health insurance, House proudly thrust his charts into one of the nurses' chests and headed in search of food. Hoping Wilson would be in the cafeteria, he headed there, only to pause in the door for a second when he spotted the Lisa and Laura eating lunch. Cuddy's expression told him all he needed to know: she didn't want to be there. He knew he couldn't possibly pass up this opportunity to piss her off in the hope of 'winning' their little 'challenge' from that morning.
--
When Cuddy saw none other than House limping towards them with a tray of food she groaned inwardly. 'Why did he have to do this now?' she wondered, trying to telepathically tell him to go away. He saw the look she threw his way and it only encouraged him, his pace increased as he neared them.
"Hello ladies, oh, sorry lady and Cuddy." He said by way of a greeting, flopping down on the seat next to Cuddy and dropping his tray to the table with a clatter before looking to Laura and giving her his customary smirk.
"House.." Cuddy said in a warning tone.
"What's the matter Cuddles? I just wanted to talk to this ray of sunshine here." He said motioning to Laura with his fork before taking a bite of his burger, continuing to watch Cuddy's reactions.
"House. This is a private lunch." She said with gritted teeth but she knew she wasn't convincing him, he could see the amusement in her eyes.
"And that matters how? In fact, that makes it juicier. Did she tell you about the time that she – " He was cut off by her heel on his foot. "Ouch!" He all but screamed. "Yeah, hurt a cripple, nice."
Cuddy just rolled her eyes, and Laura took this lull in their conversation to butt in:
" So, Greg, what do you do here?" She asked with a slight smile.
"What when I'm not servicing the Dean?" He shot back, not missing a beat.
Laura laughed, a tinkling laugh that almost had House covering his ears, and in his peripheral vision he saw the glare Cuddy sent his way.
"House. Don't you have Clinic Duty or something?" Cuddy asked, not wanting him to spend one more second with her sister for fear of her sister's plan coming into effect.
"She just doesn't want me to spill all her dirty secrets." He said in a stage whisper.
"Oh, do tell." Laura said, leaning forward, intentionally giving him a perfect view down her top. He glanced down briefly (he was a man after all) before looking to Cuddy and then around them as if to see possible eavesdroppers.
"Well…" He began in a low whisper, leaning forward himself.
"Right. House. Go. Now." Cuddy interrupted, hauling him to his feet and ushering him out of the canteen. She thought they had made it home free until he spoke again (or more like yelled):
"She's really a hooker at night! Why else would she wear these clothes?" He shouted across to Laura, gesturing with a leer to Cuddy's attire as she gave him one last shove out the doors, away from the curious eyes.