...to a thing I can use...
~.....~
"You
can't stay here." The words rushed from her mouth before Jenny
could stop herself.
"I can. But if you'd prefer my world to
yours, I'll be happy to take you there."
"You're crazy,
you know that?" Jenny said angrily.
"I don't suppose an oath
would be any good this time." Julian continued on as if she hadn't
spoken. "And a ring means nothing to you, seeing as you've thrown
it away like a piece of junk the first time, and had it melted down
when I was gone."
Jenny stepped away from him wearily. Her anger
had quickly evaporated as Julian drew close to her again. She tried
to put distance between them, but he matched her every step with his
own.
"Words and materialistic things won't do." Julian said
smoothly.
Jenny
backed up against the wall, heart making terrible plunging beats in
her chest.
"The promise will have to be a little more physically
binding." Julian said. His eyes glittered mischievously.
His
fingers hunted through her hair lightly, spreading little sparks
across her scalp.
"What do you think?" Julian asked. His voice
had changed into a playful almost sing-song tone.
She had to
diffuse the situation. Get herself out of it, and quick. Jenny didn't
want to go down the route he was steering toward. "I wish you were
dead." Jenny choked the words out.
It didn't
quite have the effect she was going for. Julian let out a deep sigh,
and tilted his head to the side. His eyes roamed over her face,
piercing.
"I thought you admitted defeat, Jenny. Or are we
still playing hunter and prey?"
"I did. That doesn't mean
I'm going to bend over to fulfil your every whim."
"No, I
don't expect you to." Julian said gravely, and his eyes narrowed
at her. "What I expect is that you will stop resisting."
"I'm
not resisting." Jenny said quietly.
"You haven't stopped
fighting me."
"I'm... I'm not." Jenny stammered. She was
caught between lashing out at him again, or apologizing. Both actions
were too ridiculous to follow through. Jenny's nerves were melted
into hot liquid – she couldn't look away from his eyes.
"You
could have fooled me." Julian said in a hushed voice. "Saying the
words alone isn't good enough, Jenny. You have to actually give
up."
"I did. I told you, you've won." Jenny said.
"Then
prove it. Let's make it official."
Jenny couldn't breathe.
"Fine. I'll do anything, but I'm not... I'm not doing that.
What you're thinking of. I won't."
"Ah, see."
Julian's eyes flashed. "You're fighting it."
"Can't
we reach some other compromise? I mean, there has to be another
way..." Jenny said, her cheeks burning bright red.
"Stop
trying to play your way out of this. Jenny, this isn't a game."
Julian said, resting his hands against the wall beside her, trapping
her with his gaze.
"I know." Jenny said, shrugging, looking
away awkwardly.
"What can I do to emphasise how serious this
is... I could kill Audrey and Michael."
Jenny blinked hard, the
blood draining from her face.
"Or Zach. Or maybe Joey." Julian
carried on. "Catch my drift, Jenny?"
Jenny nodded slowly, and
swallowed the lump in her throat.
"I'm keeping them alive for
your good behaviour. If you continue to resist, I won't give you
another warning. Understand?"
"Yes." Jenny said
weakly.
"You'll stop struggling against me?"
"Yes."
Jenny said. She was going to faint. She could see white dots dancing
in front of her eyes. She was petrified beyond words.
"Let me
love you, Jenny. You don't know how good it could be with us."
His voice changed from cold anger to softly encouraging.
Jenny
closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. Don't
pass out, just don't pass out right now, Jenny thought
desperately.
"Come with me, and I'll show you."
The world
was spinning when his fingers curled around her hand, and she
followed him blindly up the hallway. She was suddenly too aware of
everything; the sound her sneakers made on the smooth floorboards,
the pungent scent of some air freshener hanging around them, the
clock ticking the seconds away far too loudly. It's over. She
really, really did lose.
Winner take all. She remembered Julian
telling Tom that, when they'd met the first time in the paper
house. The memory brought a flood of tears forth. Julian had said he
would win. Jenny never had a chance.
He was
pulling her up the stairs, and Jenny could do nothing but follow.
Resist, and have another funeral tagged onto the rest. She had to do
this to save her friends and family.
The front door clicked open,
and Jenny stopped to turn toward it.
"I locked the door..."
Jenny whispered, staring at the door as it cautiously swung
open.
"Argh, damn it." Julian spat, glancing from Jenny to the
door with a look of utter loathing.
A head poked into the house,
sunlight dazzling off long golden locks. Green eyes warily scanned
the room, darted past Jenny and fixed on Julian.
"Damn it."
The girl snapped, stepping into the front foyer and kicking the door
shut behind her, all caution gone. "I thought nobody was home
because no one answered the door when I rang."
"What
are you doing here?" Julian asked, intensely annoyed.
"I
forgot my laptop." The curt reply came. "Don't worry, I'll be
outta here in two seconds. You never saw me, I never saw you, we all
live happily ever after."
Jenny took a step down when the girl
disappeared down the hallway. She reappeared a moment later, leather
bag slumped over her shoulder.
"This," she gestured toward
them without really looking at them. "Never happened. And tell Dee
I'll mail back her Tai Chi handbook next week."
"Dee's
dead." Jenny said quietly, watching Andrea yank the door open. A
second later the door slammed shut, and she was alone with Julian
again. If Jenny had control of her legs, she would have run after the
other girl. If she could find her voice, she would have shouted for
help.
Julian let
out a deep, heavy, angry sigh.
The door opened again, startling
Jenny, and Andrea's head popped back inside. Her eyes were narrowed
as she glanced from Julian to Jenny.
"I know I sometimes hear
things... but did you say Dee is dead?"
Jenny opened her
mouth, and took another step down. Julian's grip on her hand
tightened, and she stopped.
"She died yesterday." Jenny felt
tears burn her eyes again.
Andrea looked like Jenny had punched
her in the face. Shock melted into brief sorrow, turned into cold
fury and settled into pure indifference.
"I'm sorry to hear
that." Andrea said. Her gaze darted to Julian and back to Jenny.
"Where's Tom?"
Jenny closed her eyes, willing herself to
stay in control. But the hurt had formed a wave and it was washing up
her throat and down her cheeks.
"Oh." Andrea said gently, and
let out a shaky sigh. "Car crash?"
Jenny managed a slight nod.
She pleaded with her eyes to Andrea.
"Well." Andrea said
awkwardly, sliding her hands into her pockets uncertainly. She
shifted her weight from one foot to the other, staring down at the
floor for a moment before dumping the bag against the wall. "I'm
staying."
"You're
leaving." Julian retorted sharply.
Jenny turned to him, startled
when he pulled her closer to him suddenly.
"No. I am staying."
Andrea said slowly, as if she was explaining a difficult task to a
child. Restrained impatience.
Julian was fuming. His grip on
Jenny's hand tightened bruising hard, and then he was pulling her
up the stairs behind him.
Every
heartbeat reverberated through Jenny, every breath she took fuelled
the panic flaming inside her chest. She cast a glance over her
shoulder, but Andrea wasn't at the bottom of the stairs anymore.
He led her into the room where she and Tom had slept in one
another's arms only two nights ago. The bed was neatly made, the
room immaculately tidy – everything had its place. That's how Tom
liked things.
"I can't do this." Jenny said shakily when
Julian turned to face her.
She couldn't look at him. Her eyes
were diverted to the green commercial carpet, staring at it blindly
through tears that didn't fall.
He lifted
her chin gently, and Jenny blinked to focus on his face. He looked
vaguely troubled.
"Why do you insist on defying me?"
"I'm
not ready. I can't do this. If Tom..."
Julian's cold, bitter
laugh cut her off abruptly. "I can make you forget all about him,
Jenny."
Jenny opened her mouth to respond – and he kissed
her.
It wasn't
like the soft, slow kisses or the wild, passionate ones they'd
shared in the past.
The kiss was shivery, delightful, and very
sweet. It enveloped her in floating warmth that sent shivers through
her. Jenny found herself flowing toward him, her arms coming up
around his neck. He held her close, his body's heat soaking into
hers. She was trembling against him, but the fear was overshadowed by
his touch. Every nerve ending in her body was put on slow burn –
pure sensation.
There was something she was supposed to remember,
that she knew she had to remember...
His hands silkily caressed
her cheeks, his touch as soft as moth's wings, and then his fingers
were dancing through her hair. The small deed nearly short-circuited
her brain.
Jenny clung to him. The tremors of fear evolved into
rickety desire, and she was kissing him back. He changed the pressure
of his lips on hers, and she came undone in his arms.
Jenny forgot
everything else.
She was
faintly aware that he was edging her toward the bed. He broke the
kiss long enough to bring them both skin on skin, and before Jenny
could find the breath to protest, his lips locked onto hers. His
fingertips brushed across her flushed skin, leaving pleasant tingles
in their wake.
The kiss deepened and spurred the wildfire
attraction into action.
For a long time, the world existed of
infinite passion. Nothing mattered but their arms around one another.
Nothing else was real until Julian cradled her against him, their
bodies clammy and the sheets beneath them soaked with the evidence of
their binding.
Jenny's
breath slowed, and her own lips responded to Julian's smile. She
snuggled closer to him.
She felt strangely complete. Fulfilled
somehow. And closer to Julian than she'd ever been to anyone in her
life.
Jenny closed her eyes when his lips embraced hers as soft as
twilight, before trailing across her heated cheeks, his breath cool
and slow.
"I love you." His whisper wound around her snugly.
His voice was husky, and the words were almost as comforting as...
Jenny
crashed down hard from the blissful high she'd been riding on. Her
eyes snapped open, and for a moment she lay stiff in his arms before
wrenching herself off the bed. She landed clumsily on her knees on
the carpet, snatching the nearest pillow to her chest. Her eyes
scanned the familiar room as if it was the first time she was really
seeing it, and Jenny thought she might be sick.
"Are you all
right?" Julian was sitting up, smooth muscles flexing beneath
golden skin.
Jenny stared back at him for a second, and scrambled
to her feet, still clutching the pillow to hide herself. "Yeah,
I... I'll be right back."
Jenny bolted to the bathroom. She
locked the door securely behind her, and leaned over the sink.
Wave
after wave of nauseating shame crashed into her. Every inch of her
body felt raw, scorching with severe guilt. She tried to control
herself, to keep from hyperventilating.
Jenny had never truly
regretted walking into the More Games store until today. When she
looked at her reflection, the wide pine green eyes were accusing. How
could you? The question resonated through her core.
Jenny climbed into the shower and turned the hot water full blast on her skin. It was meant to be purifying, to wash away the betraying body odour and the lingering tingles Julian's touch had left behind. She didn't stop scrubbing until the hot water ran out. Her skin was pink and itchy when she wrapped a towel around her, and then Jenny just sat. The reality of what she'd done was painful.
Not even the fact that she'd quite possibly saved her friends and family's lives justified it. She'd betrayed Tom. Everything she was meant to share with him had just been snatched up by someone else. She should have thought about him before Julian kissed her. She should have held onto his memory longer, she should have fought Julian harder. She would have negotiated something as a substitute, but she didn't – and there was no one to blame but herself.
The tears evaporated into whirling disgust. You have no right to cry and feel sorry for yourself, Jenny thought. For heaven's sake, Tom hasn't even been gone for twenty four hours and you've already moved on.
When Jenny finally got dressed, she went downstairs. The TV was on in the empty lounge, and the smell of bacon grilling wafted through the air. Jenny's mouth was dry when she stepped into the kitchen. Raw egg had left an oily stain against the wall, lying scattered on the floor next to an upside down pan. The counters were strewn with flour and raw scraps of dough, and a cupcake tin filled with black charred balls was sitting next to the overflowing sink.
Jenny slowly sat down on one of the stools. She'd forgotten Andrea had come back. She watched the other girl bustling around the kitchen, heaping more dirty dishes onto the pile. Julian appeared behind Jenny, his hand light on the small of her spine. She could feel his warmth soaking through her clothes, and restrained herself from slapping his hand away.
"Hungry?"
Andrea asked, noting their presence.
"No." Jenny
said.
"Starved." Julian said.
"Not starved enough."
Andrea muttered. "You haven't dropped dead yet."
"Hmm."
Julian said apathetically.
"Anything to drink then? You look
like you need a picker-upper, Jenny. I'll make you a drink. I can
whip up a mean Bloody Mary." Andrea offered.
"No, thanks."
Jenny said, subdued.
Andrea didn't seem to hear. She was pulling
out glasses and bottles of alcohol, mixing liquids together expertly.
"I used to work at a bar, y'know. There are lots of tricks people
don't know about that goes into making the perfect cocktail."
"Really."
Jenny said distractedly, staring at the golden liquid. She kept
seeing Tom's face in her mind's eye, that time when she'd
announced she was going to the prom with someone else. His face had
gone pale, his mouth had quivered – and the pain in his hazel
eyes... He didn't deserve to be forgotten and replaced. Flaws and
all, Jenny had loved him endlessly. Or she thought she did. People
didn't do the thing she just did when they lost the one they
loved.
"You know," Andrea sighed heavily, pouring a tall
glass. "You could have at least waited until Tom was buried. It's
common decency."
Jenny felt her throat constrict, and her cheeks
go pale. Had they been making noise? Jenny couldn't remember.
"Sorry."
Andrea shook her head, a grim smile on her lips. "No,
no, no my dear Jenny. Rebound sex is evil. I don't blame you,
you're only human after all. I'm talking about Julian being an
eager puppy to mark his territory."
Jenny's face went bright
red.
"What do you want?" Julian said indifferently.
"I'd
like my friends back." Andrea looked at him steadily.
Jenny felt
a flicker of hope. Maybe, if anyone could get anything done right,
Andrea could do it.
"Can't do that." Julian said with a
shrug.
"Well then, I think it's safe to say you're in for
it." Andrea said calmly. "Because, you know, there are a lot
of people who are out for your blood."
"And?"Julian
said.
His hand moved up her back gently and rested warmly on her
shoulder. Jenny shivered. It was wrong that it felt so good. It only
served to increase her shame by tenfold.
"And I'm willing to
deliver their target. I mean, bargaining your life in return for my
friends' lives – it's a bit of a no-brainer, don't you
think?" Andrea said.
"You have no authority to do that."
Julian said, and Andrea laughed.
"I don't need authority."
Andrea said the word mockingly. "I can have someone make the
bargain on my behalf. And do the dirty work for me, too."
Julian
stiffened and an oppressive silence hung in the room.
"You don't
want to go down this route, Andrea. Trust me." Julian said,
insidiously.
"What stops me? You?" Andrea snorted.
Julian
advanced on her suddenly, and Andrea stumbled away from him,
startled. Jenny straightened up, alarmed. Her hands flew to her
throat and her eyes went wide in fear. She'd seen what Julian could
do to Audrey. He was capable of so much worse, Jenny was certain. But
the images popping up in her head shattered when Andrea spoke
up.
"Hey! Hey! Do I need to remind you that all the
horrors of hell will be on the doorstep the second you touch me?"
Andrea cried out, backing up against the counter, and seizing hold of
a cutting knife.
She wielded it smoothly in her hands, and
pointed it threateningly at Julian.
"For the record, he's the
only one who approves of your success to actually get this far."
Andrea said carefully. "He's the only reason why none of the
others have hunted you down yet."
"And I
should be grateful for getting Mikael's stamp of approval?"
Julian hissed through his teeth.
"You should be grateful he
doesn't know the details. He thinks you've accomplished the one
thing he's always wanted to do. Happy girl, happy boy, happy love,
happy life." Andrea said, and jumped when Julian took another step
toward her. "If he knew that you were here and I was here,
he'd be here too. And trust me, Julian, you don't want him
here."
There was a spark of friction between them. Jenny didn't
know how she could be sure, but there was something in the way Andrea
looked at Julian that was disturbing. It was the same expression
Andrea had worn when she'd caught them on the stairs earlier.
Disgruntled recognition.
"I don't
want you here, either." Julian said.
"I know." Andrea said
evenly. "But Jenny does."
Jenny's mouth went dry, and she
swallowed hard. "Do you know each other?"
All eyes swivelled
to rest on Jenny, and she stood tall before them.
"We've met
before." Andrea said. "Briefly."
Something flashed across
Julian's face.
"What?" Jenny asked, stumped, and then
angry. "You know him?"
"It was nothing. Really."
Andrea replied. "He knows me better through my reputation. The girl
who warmed an ancient wraith's heart. Like Hades and
Persephone...ah, never mind, you probably don't know the
story."
"Oh, I think I know you a little better than that."
Julian said callously.
"Mikael is one of the oldest shadow
people there are." Andrea explained, arching an incredulous eyebrow
at Julian before turning to Jenny. "And one of the most powerful.
And the nicest."
Julian snorted, a sceptical look on his face.
"I don't think so."
"Well..."
Andrea sent a sidelong look at Julian, holding his gaze for a moment,
before pursing her lips and smiling at Jenny. "He's nice to me.
Most of the time. He's named after the arch angel Michael. Mikael
is the Jewish version of the name, I think." Andrea handed one of
the glasses to Jenny, and took a long sip of her own. "Want to know
why?" Andrea asked, her eyes dancing.
"Why is he nice to you?"
Jenny asked uncertainly. Hadn't Julian once told her that he was
the nicest of his race? Or had that just been another farce of his to
get her guard down?
"No, why he's named after an angel."
Andrea rolled her eyes, paused, and broke out in a genuine grin that
lit up her face. "Because everyone shits themselves when Michael
pitches up on the scene."
"Mikael isn't exactly an angel."
Julian said brusquely.
"Yeah. Neither are you." Andrea cast a
pointed look at him.
"I'll give you one last chance. Get out
now."
"Or what?"
Amusement
strolled across Julian's features then, and he made a slight
gesture with his hand.
"Here, I'll show you." He said
furtively.
~.....~
*wants
to pounce Julian, gosh darn it*
Um... yeah, okay. If some of it
sounds familiar, it probably is. My mind stores the really hot
descriptions in the books. I can recite the Hunter to you off memory
alone.
...is it bad if I laugh at my own writing, though? I don't
plan on the word play – it just happens. I don't know if that's
good or not, lol.
