Marie D. Suesse And The Mystery New Pirate Age!

A Deconstruction, where the author has just instructed the narrator to stop digressing so much and just get on with it.

Chapter 10: The Filial Bargain

Mar was running. Again.

In fact she was running back the same way she had come, towards where she had left her kayak.

As she passed the corpse of the swordswoman who had been 'culled' by the deranged Disinfector, she noted that 1) No one had bothered to do anything about it, and 2) The man himself was no where to be seen.

Still, there was no time for her to regret being unable to get information about the Straw-Hats from him. Right now she was racing against time. There is a good reason why.

Earlier, when Mar had caught her breath and attempted to enter the slave shop she was sure she had seen her father being herded into, the guards at the door, on seeing her humble attire and tatty straw-hat, immediately positioned themselves in front of the entrance. She was duly informed that "street-trash like you aren't allowed in". She'd taken a single look at their intimidating bulks, armed to the teeth, and wisely backed off like a frightened rabbit.

Mar was not a particularly bloodthirsty person, but it had to be said that at the very moment, she did wish that her devil-fruit had been something that would have allowed her to blast those two guards into oblivion. But sadly, the only fight her devil-fruit was probably ever going to let her win was probably one at a debating club.

It was very good at helping her think of alternative solutions to a problem though.

If looks were the reason why she was being kept out, the logical thing to do would be to change her appearance to that of something more befitting the clientele of a slave shop. That, and find some money to buy her father's freedom with.

There was also the question of where to get the items she needed to do all this, and the answer was obvious. Surely between Robin's and Nami's clothing she could find something suitable. In addition, she was on the ship of the man who was in the running for the Pirate King. It was highly unlikely that they'd be flat broke, although perhaps after the disastrous battle of Loguetown it was hard to say. Still, if she was desperate, there was the jewelry...

If the Sunny didn't kill her for taking that.

While all this was running through her mind, she was still physically running as well. Well, I say 'running', but most people, especially the sedentary ones from the modern world, are not capable of running non-stop. Most of them have the stamina to run at full pelt for about oh, a hundred meters before succumbing to exhaustion. Mar was no exception. In fact, most of her journey was really her running, then slowing down to catch her breath, walking, and running again. Rinse and repeat.

When she finally got to her kayak she realized that she still had rowing to do, and then there was the whole rowing back and getting back to the slave shop, and it made her want to scream in frustration and tiredness. It doesn't sound like this was such a herculean effort, but I assure you it was. If you don't believe me, try it sometime. It's not as impressive as what you read about people doing in the books, but trust me when I say it says a lot about Mar that despite all, this she didn't give up and kept forcing herself on.

In fact, you could say fear lent her wings. Because she knew how these things worked in stories, and to get her father back she had to buy him back before anyone else did.

Now with the information that Mar was trying her best to get her father back in mind, let's take a break from Mar's perspective and go back to the slave shop. The owner of the slave-shop was having a slow day, but he was hoping his new stock of slaves would change that.

Sure enough, before long a richly-dressed woman came waltzing through the door.

A quick glance at her jeweled attire and elegant dress convinced him that this was a woman with with money to spend. But even as he handled her enquires for a disposable slave to carry her shopping for her (her previous one having just dropped dead, the useless hunk of trash) he was struck by how familiar she looked even though he couldn't place her exactly. He could have asked for her name, but that would offend her if she were somebody important and he didn't know, so he was too scared to ask.

It was just as he was showing her one of the new arrivals, when it hit him just who he was talking to.

"What's wrong with you now?" said the woman in annoyance, notcing his sudden change in demeanour. "You're sweating all over the place. Disgusting!"

"It's j-just a little hot here today," the slave salesman said, trying his best to conceal his fear.

"Well how much is this one then?" said the woman, jerking her head at the new stock, which was fidgeting furiously but had learned from experience that it was wise to keep quiet in these circumstances.

"For anyone else, it would be five-hundred thousand beli," the salesman, still dripping with sweat, managed to say.

The woman threw back her head and looked at him as if he were a puny worm. "And me?"

"Y-you're an exception. Only two hundred and fifty thousand..." the man trailed off as he saw her eyes narrow. "...would be still too much for your august presence, your Majesty! For you it's free! Free!"

"Very well then. The slave-collar controls." At this, she extended her hand, the expensive gold bangles jangling as she moved. "Thank you. Oh and... your compliance will be rewarded. Come, Slave!"

With that, she left, with the slave in tow and the salesman with his knees still shaking.

The guards, seeing the state of their manager, were curious. "Was that woman trouble, boss?"

"Trouble?" the boss squeaked as he sat down hard on a chair. "Did you not see who that was before you let her in, you numbskulls?"

"Some rich noble...?"

"Some rich noble?"

"That's what we th—"

"You damned fools! Have you not seen wanted posters of her before? That was Monkey D. Madelyn, the Pirate Queen!"

"What?"

"But, she disappeared... years ago!"

"Well, she's back now." The salesman reached for his den-den mushi. "I'm calling the Marines. And you two, get ready and pack everything up, we're closing the shop for the day."

Some distance away from the shop, the woman identified by the salesman as 'Monkey D. Madelyn', and her newly acquired slave were walking.

"This should be far enough. Stop," said the woman to the slave.

Now, the savvy reader will have realized earlier that the slave bought was obviously Mar's dad.

The even more savvy reader will expect that this is the point where Mar comes running up, only to find the shop closed and her goal of buying her father back thwarted, because that's how it always works in those stories where the author is a cruel, sadistic bastard who likes making their protagonists suffer and where the most pragmatic solution is never the one that works.

But as it turned out, what happened next would throw all those expectations out the window, because at that moment, the woman's haughty attitude had dropped. The next moment, she was hugging the slave, who was hugging her back just as fiercely.

And, the most savviest of readers will have guessed the truth by now of course, but I might as well go ahead and confirm it for you with some dialogue:

"Dad, are you all right?"

"Mar! I'm so glad you're safe! You were amazing!"

"...I'm so glad it WAS you... I wasn't expecting it to be so easy! I mean he mistook me for someone important but I decided to just play along and ohmygosh I can't believe it worked out so well!"

"...and you looked just like your mother for a moment! Never ever seen you wearing a dress... where did you get those clothes? How did you get here? Is your mother with you?"

"Wasn't she with you?"

"She was, but she was sold before we even got to that shop." Mar's father's bespectacled face darkened as he said this.

Mar was understandably distraught at this, but Logic-Logic fruit immediately dictated that its user not spend time angsting and work on a practical solution instead.

"Do you remember who they were? Maybe we can get her back from them."

To those of you who thought that the author was being charitable to Mar for letting her get her father back so easily, the next line should assure you that the author is still a mean, evil and sadistic person.

"I couldn't hear the name properly, but I got a good look at him," Mar's dad told her as he tried to figure out the controls to the slave-collar. "But he was rather stupid-looking, so we might have a chance. I mean—" (at this he shook his head), "—if we weren't slaves at that time we would have laughed at him I think. He looked so ridiculous, walking around with that gold-fish bowl on his head and all."

At this point Mar's dad had to stop and ask Mar what was wrong, because the expression on her face had been one of absolute horror.

Now, in case you weren't convinced that the author has a sadistic streak yet, this narrator is sure that next occurrence should cinch it. Before Mar could explain to her dad what a Tenryuubito a.k.a. Celestial Dragon was and make him understand how horrible it was that her mother had been taken by one of those world nobles, the next development put that out of their minds.

It was the patter of feet and a startled look from her dad at something behind her that made Mar turn around. Behind here was a marine official (she guessed he was at least a captain by his attire, he was wearing the Pimp Marine Coat) and a squadron of marines.

"Mar, who are those?"

"They're marines," she said slowly, her heart sinking. "They're like, police in this place?"

"That's great! That slave shop has to be illegal, and if we report it to them they'll be sure to close them down!"

"Dad, I don't think it works that way here..."

Mar, being more knowledgable than her dad about the world's workings, was right of course. But in hindsight, she really should have expected what happened next. And if she hadn't been so carried away in her reunion with her dad she would have known to hide after leaving the slave shop. Well, she was going to have to pay for her indiscretion now.

"Don't try anything! Put those hands where we can see them!"

The marines had all leveled their rifles at her and with fingers on the trigger, much to her dad's confusion. But when you are facing the business end of a gun, the wise thing to do is comply. Mar and her dad both did.

The captain, looking incredibly self important, but a little afraid, stepped forward, cleared his throat, and spoke.

"Monkey D. Madelyn! I hereby place you under arrest for the crime of Grand Piracy!"

...

Well, I told you the author was evil, didn't I?

End of Chapter 10

Q/A:

Paulo: I like the story but... I dont like the fact that there is "now in most other stories there is... etc" I know you're just trying to make your story different from the thousands that are pretty much the same here. Im sure you can do that already just by reading it.

A: Never let it be said that I don't take concrit. You're right, I do seem to be getting dangerously heavy-handed. Thanks for the advice and wake-up call.