Chapter 9-Consequences
The contented faces of two people very much in love peered out from beneath the hologramatic covers. Both faces wore enormous smiles, the like of which had never before been seen on either of their faces. As both people came to they stared into each other's eyes and laughed. They were happy. And as they regained control they began to kiss long and hard until, by a great misfortune, Lister walked through the door. They had been lucky before, as Lister had fallen asleep in the Copacabana. He stared at the form of Rimmer, who had his back to Lister, and wondered why he was kissing thin air. Lauren had shape shifted again. She was an invisible hologram. She was still passionately kissing Rimmer, only neither Lister nor Rimmer could see her. This totally confused Lister. Why would Rimmer be pretending to be kissing someone?
" What the smeg are you doing, Rimmer?"
When he heard Lister's voice his heart sank. He opened his eyes and got the biggest fright of his life. Lauren was still kissing him, only he couldn't see her. He suddenly pulled away from her in surprise.
" Shhh, Arnie, don't make a sound."
" Where are you?"
" I'm an invisible hologram, don't be alarmed."
" I meant to ask you, how can you touch me? I mean, I'm dead and you're alive."
" I can shape shift. It's one of the side effects of the mutation in my blood."
This whispered conversation was inaudible to Lister. He was wondering why Rimmer wouldn't answer him. He decided to take a closer look. He stepped up to Rimmer's bed and was shocked to see that Rimmer was naked. That was odd, Rimmer always wore something to bed, even if it was just his nocturnal boxing gloves. Rimmer turned to face Lister.
" What are you looking at?"
" What's up Rimmer?"
" Nothing, why?"
" You look different, less neurotic. You still look a Smeghead, but a happy Smeghead. You haven't got a holovirus have you?"
" No, why should I?"
" Because you're never happy. You always find something to whinge about."
" I don't whinge. I sometimes complain, but I never whinge. Anyway, what's it got to do with you?"
" It's got everything to do with me, I have to live with you."
" Not for the next three weeks you don't. I'm going on a little holiday to get away from your petty little mind. You can live alone with the Cat for a while, because I'm through with you. I'm sick to death - literally - of you and your disgusting habits. I'm going for a trip around the cargo decks. Now if you'd kindly leave me be while I pack."
With that Rimmer turned back to Lauren and started to kiss her again. Lister looked on in total amazement. He had never in his life heard Rimmer sound so at peace with himself. It was unnatural for Rimmer to be so carefree. Lister turned around and walked away, leaving Rimmer and Lauren kissing passionately on the bed.
They crept slowly along the cargo deck as Lauren explained to Rimmer that her home was very small and cramped, that he shouldn't judge her by the place she lives. He said he was sure it would be fine and yet again apologized for inviting himself. As they approached he started to worry that she wouldn't like him after what had happened last night. They entered the little hut and Lauren offered him a seat. When he was sat down comfortably in his seat Lauren started the conversation.
" We need to talk."
" Is about last night?"
" Yes."
" I'm sorry about that and I understand totally if you never want to see me again."
" What are you babbling about? Of course I want to see you again, as much as possible."
" You don't think I'm inadequate in bed? Because I do. I'm not very experienced with women. You were only the second time for me."
" I thought you were wonderful, especially as you were my first."
" Your first?"
On hearing this Rimmer promptly fainted. Lauren looked down at him through sorrowful eyes.
" Oh, my love, you are such a wuss, but I still love you. What will I do with you?"
The contented faces of two people very much in love peered out from beneath the hologramatic covers. Both faces wore enormous smiles, the like of which had never before been seen on either of their faces. As both people came to they stared into each other's eyes and laughed. They were happy. And as they regained control they began to kiss long and hard until, by a great misfortune, Lister walked through the door. They had been lucky before, as Lister had fallen asleep in the Copacabana. He stared at the form of Rimmer, who had his back to Lister, and wondered why he was kissing thin air. Lauren had shape shifted again. She was an invisible hologram. She was still passionately kissing Rimmer, only neither Lister nor Rimmer could see her. This totally confused Lister. Why would Rimmer be pretending to be kissing someone?
" What the smeg are you doing, Rimmer?"
When he heard Lister's voice his heart sank. He opened his eyes and got the biggest fright of his life. Lauren was still kissing him, only he couldn't see her. He suddenly pulled away from her in surprise.
" Shhh, Arnie, don't make a sound."
" Where are you?"
" I'm an invisible hologram, don't be alarmed."
" I meant to ask you, how can you touch me? I mean, I'm dead and you're alive."
" I can shape shift. It's one of the side effects of the mutation in my blood."
This whispered conversation was inaudible to Lister. He was wondering why Rimmer wouldn't answer him. He decided to take a closer look. He stepped up to Rimmer's bed and was shocked to see that Rimmer was naked. That was odd, Rimmer always wore something to bed, even if it was just his nocturnal boxing gloves. Rimmer turned to face Lister.
" What are you looking at?"
" What's up Rimmer?"
" Nothing, why?"
" You look different, less neurotic. You still look a Smeghead, but a happy Smeghead. You haven't got a holovirus have you?"
" No, why should I?"
" Because you're never happy. You always find something to whinge about."
" I don't whinge. I sometimes complain, but I never whinge. Anyway, what's it got to do with you?"
" It's got everything to do with me, I have to live with you."
" Not for the next three weeks you don't. I'm going on a little holiday to get away from your petty little mind. You can live alone with the Cat for a while, because I'm through with you. I'm sick to death - literally - of you and your disgusting habits. I'm going for a trip around the cargo decks. Now if you'd kindly leave me be while I pack."
With that Rimmer turned back to Lauren and started to kiss her again. Lister looked on in total amazement. He had never in his life heard Rimmer sound so at peace with himself. It was unnatural for Rimmer to be so carefree. Lister turned around and walked away, leaving Rimmer and Lauren kissing passionately on the bed.
They crept slowly along the cargo deck as Lauren explained to Rimmer that her home was very small and cramped, that he shouldn't judge her by the place she lives. He said he was sure it would be fine and yet again apologized for inviting himself. As they approached he started to worry that she wouldn't like him after what had happened last night. They entered the little hut and Lauren offered him a seat. When he was sat down comfortably in his seat Lauren started the conversation.
" We need to talk."
" Is about last night?"
" Yes."
" I'm sorry about that and I understand totally if you never want to see me again."
" What are you babbling about? Of course I want to see you again, as much as possible."
" You don't think I'm inadequate in bed? Because I do. I'm not very experienced with women. You were only the second time for me."
" I thought you were wonderful, especially as you were my first."
" Your first?"
On hearing this Rimmer promptly fainted. Lauren looked down at him through sorrowful eyes.
" Oh, my love, you are such a wuss, but I still love you. What will I do with you?"