'I never got your message.' 'She's only a friend.' 'I'm fine.' 'It will only take up five minutes of your time.' 'This hurts me more than it hurts you.' People lie, it's in their nature. To protect themselves, because they panic, because they are scared or because they believe it's the righteous thing to do.

But there's one lie that takes the crown. Always.

'At least you'll have the memories.'

After a month, his scent faded out of his clothes. Six months later, I forgot it. A year had passed before I had troubles remembering where he had the scars he once told me about. I couldn't picture them anymore, yet I've seen them plenty of times. Over the time other things faded out of existence. Memories slipped away like sand through a clenched fist. The sound of his voice when he whispered my name, the rhythm of his breathing I listened to when he was sleeping safely kept in my arms. How his hands felt when they were pressed against my skin.

What our kissed tasted like.

His voice when he told me he loved me.

Five years later...

'I-I'm so sorry, Catherine.'

She sits in front of me, unable to look me in the eye. Her hands are folded and she fiddles with her thumbs uncomfortably. I only now notice how after all these years she's still wearing that silly hat from back in the day. Its color had faded to a washed out red and noticeably patched up many times in the past.

'Don't be.' I mumble and pour her more tea. 'Now you have the whole story. You wanted to know, well now you do.'

'Thank you.' She smiles at me, but her eyes tell a different story. She reaches for my hand and places hers on mine. 'Honey, why didn't you tell this to anyone sooner?'

A soft, short caress. Friendly. Compassionate. She narrows her brown, big eyes. 'You didn't have to go through this alone. Why did you decide to vanish?'

I pull up my shoulders. Because I didn't want to hear people talk about it. Because I thought no one would understand.

Because sometimes, I thought if I didn't talk about it, it never happened.

Because I couldn't explain it to her.

'Who's the pretty lady, mommy?' I pull the child close to me and place the palm of my hand on her chest. Her heart beats fast. Faster than mine has beaten in a long time.

'This is an old friend of Mommy. Why don't you go say hi to her?' I rub dirt of her face and ruffle her blonde, long hair.

'H-hi! My name is Lisa.'

'Hello, sweetheart. My name is Piper.'

'That's a funny name!' Lisa chuckles and reaches for her hat. She doesn't know boundaries all too well.

Just like her father.

Piper takes off her hat and places it into Lisa's hands. As she puts in on and runs back to the fields behind my house, Piper's face returned to one filled with sorrow.

'How old is she?'

'She's five.'

She needed one second to figure out what happened.

'She has his eyes, you know.' I say and I leave my chair. I stretch and walk towards the fireplace. I stare at the only two memories I have from him, placed on the mantel. His green hat, of which one bullet was lost. It hasn't aged a day. I decided to hang his rifle above the fireplace. It seemed fitting.

'Have you been living her for long?' Piper asks.

'Yes. I-ah...' My words stop in their tracks, a lump forms in my throat.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-'

'No.' I sternly reply, press my lips together. 'It's okay. It's been five years, I can do this. Hell, I gave you the inside story.' I look behind my shoulder and notice her cheeks are flushed red. She remains silent as I continue. I caress the side of the cap, briefly touching it with my fingertips. I bow my head and I feel my eyes sting. Almost, almost I could picture him wearing it. Maybe if I pressed my eyes together, tried really hard the image would appear before my eyes.

'Take your time.'

'I didn't return to Goodneighbor. I walked home. I don't remember how, don't remember what roads I took. When I came home, I remember looking into the mirror. My face was covered by blood. I didn't recognize myself. The reflection I saw was alien to me.' As I go through the memories of that day, I still can't believe I did nothing harsh to myself.

'I stayed in the boathouse for a few days until-.' Crying. Screaming. Breaking furniture. Falling exhausted asleep with my dog in my arms, clenching his mane, my tears falling into his fur while he wept with me.

'I found a map under his-' I choke on my words. I swallow and regain my mental strength. 'A map. I found a map under his pillow. It had directions written on it.'

'Did you find out where it leads?' Piper asks carefully.

'Yes.' My voice trembles and a shock of lightning runs over my spine. I turn around and a tear rolls down my cheek.

'Here.' I point down.

She stood up from her seat, walked over.

'It's okay.' She hushed me, 'Don't cry.'

'Mommy, why are you crying?' Lisa asked, standing in the doorway.

'It's nothing. I was telling a sad story is all. Are you done playing? It's almost dark outside.' I sniffle and wipe my face clean of the tears.

'I think so.' Lisa replies, looking at me with her big eyes.

'Go get Dogmeat for me, okay honey? Let's get ready for dinner.' She nods and returns outside.

'Does she know?' Piper asks, caressing my upper arm.

'No. But she has the right to know. One day.'

Piper left an hour later. I stayed outside, in the door opening and watched her walk away. She looked back a few times, probably wondering in what state she left me. She need not worry.

'Lisa! Come here!' I shout.

She runs towards me and Dogmeat follows in her footsteps, a little slow. He's getting old. It was almost dark, the sky painted in beautiful red, golden hues. A warm, summer breeze played with my hair. Trees surrounding our house swayed peacefully. The radio on the window still was audible.

'It's all over but the crying...'

The fields surrounding my house were beautiful this time of year. She runs straight into my arms and I clench her tight against me.

'Mommy!' She yells.

'You know I love you, right honey?'

She looks up and smiled.

'I love you too, Mommy. Can we eat now? I'm so hungry.'

I look down and look her in the eyes. She truly has his eyes. It pains me to look into them, yet this is the only real memory I got left. I smile at her and we make way to head inside.

'Everything's going to be alright, as long as we stick together.'