Enjoy - And no death threats please :-D

I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside
And they pull me under
And I would give you anything you want
You were all I wanted
All my dreams have fallen down
Crawlin' 'round and 'round and 'round…

Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through me
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save me, save
Come on
I've been waiting for you…

Save Me - Remy Zero

His golden eyes were fixed, focused on something in the darkness beyond the frosted glass, into the forest that only he could see. His fingers tapped the window pane, moving rhythmically as if piano keys lay there instead. He forced all thoughts out, willing his mind to be blank and empty, anything to pretend as if his whole world wasn't falling apart. It apparently wasn't working because he was consumed with thoughts of her; she filled him to the brim, and every part of him nearly vibrated with the need to be with her.

He had promised himself after the accident that he wouldn't blame Alice for not seeing it, especially because Jacob was involved, who always made things a little more confusing than necessary. But the anger was still there. Beneath the icy façade, he was still furious, and it took every bit of his 109 years of life to keep from ripping Alice's head off.

Even though logic still told him that it wasn't her fault.

It didn't change the fact that now the love of his existence had no clue who he was.

Much less what he was.

And to put the icing on the cake, he knew that she didn't have the feelings for him that she thought she should have. It was beyond obvious.

She didn't see him anymore. The recognition, the love, the adoration that was always so aflame in her eyes was gone. He missed seeing it there, but some broken, dead, faithless part of him was happy to see it go.

He felt like he should welcome the change. Wasn't this what he wanted? For Bella to have a chance at a real life? He had never wanted her to become like him. A vampire. He shuddered in disgust, hardly believing that he would have followed through with it. He hoped that he would love her enough to believe that he would have convinced her that she didn't need to kill herself over him.

It felt like a constant battle. Undecided. Motivated. Certain. Unbelievable. Forgotten. Broken. Painful. Spontaneous. Joyous. He had a century of vocabulary to pull from and yet nothing could really put into words what he was feeling. What he was afraid to feel. He was on the edge a precipice, an endless cliff, and for the first time since Carlisle had turned him, he didn't know what the outcome would be. No visions of the future could help his heart prepare for the injury it was about to receive.

It was empty, useless, anyhow, to have this inner conflict. None of it matter when she had already made her choice. He didn't need Alice to know that. It was obvious in her body language. The connection between them was gone, vanished, just like her memories of their past together. Her body knew her choice was warm, not cold. Her heart knew even when her head didn't.

And he wasn't about to take that from her. He loved her enough to let her go, if that's what she needed. No matter how much it hurt him. He had survived 100 years without her - what was a 100 more?

As much as he loathed the mongrel, Jacob could give her more than he ever could. Warmth. Babies. A lifetime, rather than immortality, where they could grow and age and change. Together. And most importantly, the opportunity to have an afterlife, the ability to keep her soul, her purity, intact. Something that would be in impossibility if she had continued to insist that vampirism was a virtue and should be a top priority in her life.

He felt empty, vacant, knowing that this was his curse - those moments with Bella were supposed to be his. Jacob was going to get his life with Bella… he wanted to be the one she loved, he wanted to be the one she turned to, he wanted to be the one who would father her babies, he wanted to be the one she would grow old with…

And it would never happen.

It was a curse, his immortality. This was his karma, his damnation, coming back to haunt him. It was as if the heavens were using Bella to remind him that he had strayed too far from the path, so far so that he would never be allowed to return.

She was out of his reach.

He wanted to sigh, run his hands through his hair, stomp his foot, any sort of human fidget that could actually distract him from his thoughts. But there wasn't anything - he wasn't a human and hadn't been for a century.

It was a lonely place, this supernatural life he had. Never mind the family. He cared for them, but when he met Bella, he was convinced that he had finally found his mate, his partner. What he hadn't foreseen was his unwillingness to make her one of them. He had never considered that his mate would not be a vampire, and to have to consider ending someone's life, to take their soul, to make them empty, damned, forsaken…. He loved Bella too much to do that to her. She was pure, untainted, innocent, and she did not deserve to lose so much of her innate holiness because she was too blinded by love to see the truth.

That he was a monster.

"Edward!" Alice's panicked voice crashed through his thoughts and he spun, already frantic by the fear he heard running rampant around her head. "It's Bella. We have to go. Now."

"What are we going to do, Sam?" Quil demanded, pacing back and forth across the kitchen, so distraught that he was ignoring the muffins Emily had just removed from the oven and placed on the table for the anxious wolves to enjoy. "Victoria's back, there's some crazy super strong beast vampire with her, Jake's hurt, Dr. Vamp doesn't know when he'll be better again, Bella is all messed up, no memories, I'm losing my mind here, people, someone help me out, I mean-"

"Quil." Sam cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows.

One word. That was all it took. Quil sat down and stuffed a muffin in his mouth to stop the steady stream of word vomit that was pouring from his lips.

Emrby snorted and shook his head. "Seriously?" Quil looked at him, mumbling around the muffin, and Embry took the opportunity to shove another chunk of pastry in his face, laughing, and it broke the tension in the room. Smiles appeared on the rest of the faces of the pack, followed by flying muffin crumbs as they slung insults in Quil's direction. Emily mildly chastised their adolescent behavior as she smiled and reached for the broom.

"Quil does have a point though," Leah interjected, causing seven pairs of surprised eyes to turn in her direction.

Quil's mouth dropped open. "Me?" He rubbed his face vigorously, blinked, his mouth falling open. "Me?"

She laughed at him and threw another chunk of muffin. "Don't get ahead of yourself now, assclown. But we do need to figure out what we're going to do now that we're a wolf down. Victoria has a least one helper, and dollars to donuts, she's coming back." Her eyes narrowed slightly but she managed to keep her voice neutral. "She hasn't gotten what she wants yet," she paused again, her voice almost choked. "….so we need to have a plan of action."

"Leah…" Paul drawled out, his voice oozing with fake admiration. "You actually sound like you know what you're talking about."

She glared at him and threw another piece of muffin.

"Alright, alright," Sam announced loudly, waving his hands in the air, attempting to get everyone's attention. "Jake's going to be out for a few weeks. Dr. Cullen said that it will take at least a week for his shoulder to heal and even longer for the skull fracture. If something with Victoria does come up, we need to do our best to keep it from him. He shouldn't be phasing right now - if he changes with his bones the way they are, he'll have to start from scratch when he turns back. All the healing will be entirely reversed. He's going to be drugged for a few days, so hopefully that will help. But in the meantime, we still need to think about what to do when Victoria returns."

"What about some kind of trap?" Jared suggested, brushing away the crumbs that had collected in his lap.

Sam looked thoughtful. "Ok," he said slowly. "What kind of trap?"

Jared blushed. "That's all I got."

"A Bella trap," Leah blurted out. She clapped her hand to her mouth. "I, uh - sorry!" The group looked at her quizzically. "I didn't mean a trap like, let's-get-vamp-girl-eaten, but like, really, if we, uh, used her as bait and then attacked the red-haired demon while she was distracted."

Everyone's gaze turned back to Sam, not sure whether to applaud Leah for her genius or yell at her for being, once again, an insensitive bitch.

"I think it's a good idea," Sam replied, taking his time, his brow furrowed as he considered Leah's plan.

"Good luck getting Jake to agree to that," Paul snorted, reaching into the muffin basket again. "He's so far up that Swan girl's ass, he never seems to know what day it is."

Embry punched him in the arm, causing the other boy to sway slightly in his chair. "Give him a break, asswipe. She was in a car accident. He's protective. He's… just being Jake."

"And remind me why I should care?" Paul challenged, his jaw tightening. His fist connected solidly with the table. "That leech lover has brought us nothing but trouble."

"Paul." Sam's calm voice interrupted. Paul quickly dropped his eyes back to the muffin he still held. He stuffed a piece in his mouth angrily, but didn't say another word.

It was then that the front door burst open, Seth silhouetted in the frame, his face panicked, hair wild, sticking up in all directions. His fists were clenched, and his small body, still waiting on his wolfy growth spurt, was visibly shaking. No one had even noticed he was gone. "Seth?" Quil asked, rising out his seat. "What's wrong?"

"Can't you smell it?" Seth demanded. His eyes were wide and his feet were spread, tense, like he was ready to run right back out the door.

"Smell what?" Embry replied, confused as everyone else. "I smell muffins."

Sam closed his eyes, inhaling. His lids snapped back open. "Shit!" he announced, scrambling out his seat, sending his chair crashing into the floor as he dove in Seth's direction. "Vamp! Now!"

The wind swirled around her, and she felt it call to her, tugging on the strings of her heart, of her fingertips, drawing out her body heat and leaving numbness in its wake.

She leaned closer to the edge.

It would be so easy, to just let go. To be free.

Everything hurt. Her head, her heart, every cell, sinew, muscle, hair on her body, ached. Her body begged for something, anything, that was real and true and honest. The lies were overwhelming, trapping her mind in a place that she didn't understand, that she couldn't believe in. She was tired. Tired of the amnesia, tired of Edward, tired of Jacob, tired of the pain. She wished that will alone could bring her memories back, but apparently it didn't work that way.

Bella heard howling in the distance, and she forced the sound away, out of her mind. The sound should have made her nervous, but it didn't. Her brow furrowed, eyes still closed. Perhaps she should have been disturbed for her lack of concern for the situation - nighttime, wolves, the cliff, and her all alone… but the feelings never came. All she felt was pain, hollowed, flaming agony, throbbing through every vein, pulsing with each beat of her heart until she felt like the ache would simply swallow her whole.

She pushed away the distracting thoughts, once more clearing her mind.

Bella focused once again on the night, reopening her eyes. The moon was bright, like delicate crystal, casting unequal shadows across the forest. Clouds drifted towards her, and she prayed that they wouldn't surround her, take away the only light the night could give. She wanted to cry as the blackness reappeared, and she felt more alone than ever.

She sat down then, her legs dangling over the edge. Her arms were clasped tightly around her chest, and she fought against the tears that hung hot in her eyes. She bit her tongue fiercely, refusing to cry, refusing to break down anymore.

Bella wanted to go, wanted to run. She didn't want to be here anymore.

Not just Forks. Not just La Push. Not just Washington. Anywhere else.

It was all too much, too much.

She brought her cold fingers to her temples, rubbing slightly, wincing at the ache that was buried there. She was so stupid, so idiotic and she was angry at the ridiculous choices that she somehow found herself making over and over again.

Bella stood then, determined. She wanted it all to be over. The torture had to end; it needed to end. Now.

She brought herself back to the edge, stretching out her arms once more. She closed her eyes, afraid to look anymore, too terrified that if she opened them, she would actually be able to witness the last moments of her life.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…."

A smooth, velvet voice interrupted Bella's thoughts, her private thoughts. She tried to ignore it, focusing her attention on the night, the wind, the water. This was her moment. Who was ruining it?

She turned then, and came face to face with a blond, pale man. She studied him, confused. He was tall, lean but muscled, and his eyes were dark, and if she hadn't known better, she could have sworn they were… red. He looked familiar, but she knew that she had never met him before, despite the memory loss. He just looked… like someone. "Who are you?"

He smiled, and his teeth shone in the moonlight. White. Brilliant. Frightening. "I came to get you."

Her eyes narrowed and for the first time since she'd left the Black's, she felt her heart clutch in fear. She couldn't speak. There were no words for the horror that was slowly filling up every crack and crevice in her body.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be MY choice.

His smiled widened, and he looked wicked, venomous. "I like that you're afraid," he whispered, licking his lips. "It smells so strong, so sweet, I can almost taste it."

She swallowed hard and fought the urge to scream like a child. She would not be afraid of him. She would not let him have this night, this moment. She turned around again, giving him her back, her eyes once again on the water.

Bella heard him move behind her. She waited to feel his body heat as he came closer, but the warmth never came. Feeling the small hairs on her neck prickle in fear, she whirled and gasped when she realized he was only inches away, his smile sharp and evil.

She would have stepped back, away from him, if she hadn't already been so close to the edge. She never saw him move, didn't see him coming, but he was there already, snatching her up in his stone arms, as if to carry her away with him. She screamed, struggling against his iron embrace, but it wasn't enough.

He was on her before she could blink, and then it all fell away, and she slid into oblivion. "Jacob…" she whispered, her last gasp, her last grip on reality, unconsciousness happening so quickly she wasn't even sure it was real, and she forgot to be afraid.

He was all she ever wanted.