It's official. My VCR hates me. You see, in order to cut down the stress on my beloved PS2, I recorded everything, including me fighting through the missions, on a cassette tape so that I could merely pause and rewind everything I needed. I can do that because the PS2 stuff is hooked into the VCR and not the actual TV. Ain't that clever? Anyway, I was going through the event thing where Inuart goes crazy and… well, let's just say I'm going to give the old thing a little rest for now.

I watched the event thing, "to drink poison" I think it's called, where Caim kicks Leonard and then backhands him. I love it. I smiled and hugged the TV the first time I saw it.

Good Lord, I'm a nerd.

Shadow of a Soldier

Chapter 10

Regret

Caim hated the entire situation: the dragon's attitude towards Furiae, towards Inuart, towards the two's relationship. What could the damn, scaly bat know that he didn't? She didn't grow up with them. She didn't know them like he did. Furiae was absolutely committed to Inuart, even though they couldn't marry, and the same went for Inuart and his affections for Furiae. They loved each other. He sighed in frustration. And no matter how many times he could tell that to the dragon, she wouldn't listen. Damn stubborn, short-sighted, narrow-minded…

"Human, I'm afraid we're not alone," he heard the dragon mutter under her breath. "It seems the Empire has placed guards around this place."

The Union general let a smirk come across his face. At least now there was a way to relieve himself of some stress. Without the dragon telling him whether it was safe to dismount or not, he jumped off her side and into the cool, loose sand. Withdrawing his sword from its sheath on his back, he smiled as the bloodlust began to reappear. His menacing sneer grew onto the border of insanity as he spotted a small battalion thirty yards away from his current standing point. They would be the first to die.

Angelus snarled as she felt his mind change once again from slightly civilized Union lord to a savage beast. The change had been quicker than she thought; she had wanted to see if she could have stopped it, but it seemed she didn't make her move in time. She hovered in the air as her human counterpart ran out to the first group of Empire soldiers and mercilessly sliced through them. She would think his condition interesting, if not amusing, had she been unrelated to him. But now that his survival was linked to her own, she felt the need to put an end to it.

She flew ahead to find the exact building that this hierarch was trapped in. The closer it seemed she got to the gaol, the more Imperial soldiers she found. Was there no end to them? She dropped a few fireballs into the hearts of the bigger throngs, but as soon as she did, she heard a cry of protest from her pact-partner.

NO! he cried, Leave them to me! I want to kill them all! I want their blood on my blade! Angelus hesitated for only a moment before wiping out the archers that were trying to close in on her.

"Can you actually speak now?" she asked sarcastically, "Is your mind no longer that of a lowly, bloodthirsty beast?" The answer from his mind was the same message, except that now it was no longer voice by mere words, but by the raw emotions from his soul. The scarlet dragon scoffed as she made her way around the gaol. "Foolish human. You succumb to your bloodlust too easily. You cannot kill all of the Empire's soldiers all by yourself; even you, an ignorant human must adhere to that. Or is this attitude merely a psychotic death wish?"

Angelus searched his mind for an answer, but apparently, he wasn't listening anymore. His mind had exploded in rapture and a yearning for more and more Imperial blood. The scarlet dragon snarled again. This was a repeat of the elf village's battle. Disgusted, she turned and began killing off troops herself. She half-expected him to try and stop her once again, but it seemed that the Caim human was too absorbed in his own killings that he didn't even notice.

Suddenly, Verdelet's voice was vibrating in her mind. "I am the hierarch Verdelet, imprisoned by the Empire. Can anyone hear me? Can anyone hear me!" Angelus stopped in midair for a moment.

"This voice… is it Verdelet?" she asked herself -since the Caim human wasn't listening to her anyway- and turned towards the gaol. "Verdelet, can you hear me? Is Inuart with you?"

There was a moment before his reply. "Who is this? If I can hear your voice, then you too have a pact?"

"I am a dragon, Human," she replied with a snarl in her voice. The small, insignificant faith in humanity she held before this had been demolished by the Caim's reckless bloodlust. She found it revolting for someone to mistake her voice for a lowly human's. "That is all you need to know. Is Inuart with you?" She heard a sigh in his mental voice.

"My apologies… Inuart was taken to a different prison. I pray that he is unharmed." She growled in her frustration. So they would have to look elsewhere for this Inuart human. How unfortunate. But at least they had found one of the two. Angelus looked behind her to see that there were only scattered living soldiers around the gaol now; the Caim human had finished off all of the rest. Carcasses littered the now crimson desert sand. Her pact-partner was standing in the middle of his most recent group of victims, panting heavily. Angelus prodded his mind.

"Are you civil now?" she inquired with disdain dripping from her words. "Because I have found Verdelet, and I would rather you not kill him in your blind rage."

A moment passed, and then she felt the Caim human's mind return to normal. She saw him nod his head and then made his way to her by the gaol. Yes… he replied without emotion. Angelus cocked her head. There was a hint of something in his demeanor as he trudged up to the gaol's entrance, where Verdelet was now standing. It wasn't victory, or pride. His shoulders were slumped, and his feet were heavy. Was it regret? Or was she merely mistaking exhaustion for it?

Caim treaded up the small incline to the gaol entrance that was now cleared out due to his -and the dragon's- efforts. A few Union soldiers were standing guard outside it, which surprised him. When had the Union soldiers gotten there? A small frown appeared on his pale, blood spattered face. Had he killed a few of them in the process of clearing out the Empire? One particular soldier came running up to him, gaunt and out of breath. "I thought we were done for!" he cried, his voice full of relief and gratitude. "Thank you!"

Caim shrugged it off and kept going, his sword -now dripping with blood- still in his gloved hand. The soldier, undaunted by Caim's obvious want to be left alone, trotted to catch up to the general. "Sir Caim? Is that you?" The soldier's reply was a momentary glare. The soldier continued. "We've heard about you from the prisoners that are under your command. That you don't give mercy to any Empire soldier, that you'll dominate the Empire all by yourself." He looked his superior officer up and down. "You are younger than I thought."

Sighing, Caim pushed the soldier aside and ascended the steps to the gaol entrance two at a time. An old man with the tattoo of a pact branded on his bald scalp was standing there in black and silver robes, robes of a heirarch. As Caim reached the old man, he took in the old man's appearance. So this was Verdelet? In respect for the old man's position, Caim bowed deeply.

The dragon seemed to be amused by this. "I didn't know you had the capacity to bow, Human. You surprise me again." Caim glared at her over his shoulder before he erected from the bow. Verdelet didn't seem to hear the dragon's comment and spoke.

"At last…" the hierarch began dramatically. "So you are Caim."

The dragon, who was standing on the sand behind Caim, growled before speaking. "Verdelet, you know something. Tell us, what is happening?"

Verdelet bowed to her before replying. "The Empire is not satisfied with mere conquest. They seek complete reconstruction."

Caim's eyebrow cocked and the dragon snorted behind him. "Of the world?" she asked.

Verdelet's reply was weary. "Yes. They want the Seeds of Resurrection that appear when the Seals are broken. The Goddess' life is in great danger."

Caim's brow furrowed at the hierarch's reply. He had only heard small details about the Seeds: mostly old wife tales and bedtime stories, nothing that presented any real threat. Only that a vague description of their appearance meant that the world was ending.

However, the dragon seemed to know what the old man was talking about. "The Seeds of Resurrection?" she asked incredulously. She turned away from them, disgusted once more with humanity. "Humans twist even the myths to their own purposes."

The old man took a step towards Caim, hands out and pleading. "Please help!" he cried. "The Empire must not destroy these holy places. The entire world is in danger! As each Seal is broken, the burden on the Goddess grows greater still!"

Caim needed no boost for morale. He was motivated enough with revenge for his parents and his sister. As a tiny bit of bloodlust bubbled to the surface at the mere thought of battle, Caim raised his sword, silently swearing death to each and every Imperial soldier that came within the reach of his arm. He felt the dragon's disdain at his apparent warmongering, and the old man's eyes grew with fear.

"Please!" Verdelet cried, "Even the Empire's soldiers deserve our mercy!" At this, Caim scoffed and swiped his bloodstained sword back down.

Coward, Caim snarled softly. The dragon growled as he turned towards her.

"You should show some respect to him," the dragon chastised. "Isn't he your superior?"

The general scoffed. In name only. He's a useless old man. Another liability.

"You cannot preach to this one," the dragon stated with a hint of disgust in her voice as she turned her attention back to Verdelet. "He cares only for… settling old grudges." For a moment, the two pact-partners faced each other and glared. After the brief instant, Caim broke the eye contact by shaking his head and slowly walking down the steps. Verdelet sank to his knees and clasped his withered old hands.

"May the Gods bless us, their poor children." Caim stopped to look back at the old man. He scoffed. As far as Caim knew, the Gods were dead. He turned back to the dragon and stated, Praying won't help him when Imperial soldiers are about to decapitate him. He should learn how to wield that staff of his like a weapon, not a walking stick.

The dragon shifted on her haunches as she stared at her pact-partner with her glowing yellow eyes. "What difference between he who prays and he who kills? Fools, one and all, these humans." After another bout of glaring between the two, Caim finally relented and crawled onto her back. Verdelet took a spotted grey horse -with another white steed tied to Verdelet's for Furiae- that had been brought out of the stables of the gaol and made their way to the Desert Seal.

…………

Inuart opened his eyes slowly, wincing as the pain blasted him awake. His arms were chained to the ends of some kind of cross, and his feet were chained together below. His armor and sword had been stripped off of him, leaving only his casual wear on him. He glanced around lethargically, though that didn't help him decipher exactly where he was much. There was a small beam of light in front of him, but that only revealed a dirty stone floor and something that looked like a carcass in the shadows. He grimaced. Where was he? Where was Verdelet? …Had Furiae been captured as well?

"Is anyone there?" he called out. He mentally kicked himself. Never had he heard his own voice sound so weak and frail. If Caim were there with him, he would hear no end to the jeers and insults. Inuart scoffed. That is, had Caim been able to talk.

Suddenly, a monotone, deep and masculine voice sounded. If only I had more strength, I could protect Furiae.

Inuart's head jolted up at the sound. "Who's there?" he cried.

The voice made no answer to his question. I could protect her and make her my own.

Inuart's heart missed a beat as he realized what was going on. This… this voice was somehow reading his thoughts! No! "Stop it!" he wailed again.

The voice did not relent. Take her in my arms. Surrender her to no man, my betrothed. She shall love only me.

"Please stop!" Inuart screamed. He didn't want to hear it. He couldn't bear to hear it. He wasn't strong enough to face those dreadful thoughts and feelings yet.

All mine, Furiae. All mine. All mine. All mine. No man can have her. No man. Not even Caim.

"No! No more!" The pain of knowledge welled up inside Inuart's weak and fragile heart. Why wouldn't the voice stop? What could it possibly want?

Loves only me, looks only to me. Holds only me. Furiae. Loves only me. Me. Me.

"Uhn…" How could he think such horrible things? How could he be such a terrible, horrible person? How could he allow such thoughts and feelings to enter his soul and bury themselves in it? Tears began to trail down his face as regret and fear of himself seeped into his soul. If Caim knew what he felt… knew the jealousy that controlled his feeble mind, would he be disgusted? Disappointed? What would Furiae think?

The voice picked up on Inuart's change of thought. Forgive me. Deeply. Deeply. Please forgive me. No longer able to take the pain of his raw and foremost emotions, Inuart let out a long, anguished cry that echoed throughout his hollow prison. As he screamed, the voice kept going. Gaze only on me, please. Gaze upon me.

Inuart let his head go limp and fall against his chest. Tears were now flowing out like streams, and as they fell, they created a small semi-circle of wet drops around Inuart's cross. He couldn't take anymore. But what could he do? He was too weak...

The Goddess will die. His head lifted at this lone statement. What?

The one who serves as the Seal must be killed by the strain. The burden will destroy her.

Inuart's eyes widened. Furiae… was going to die? "No…"

The anonymous voice continued. She is just a normal woman. One who was to lie beside you, laughing and carefree.

Inuart's eyes darted around the room frantically, no longer concerned about how he was to escape this strange voice. He had to help Furiae! Then, a thought came to him. "If she ceases to be a Goddess, can she become a woman again?"

The strange voice sounded almost kind in its answer. For many, many years.

"What should I do?" Inuart cried out helplessly. "I want to help her!"

You need strength. Strength that comes from a pact with a dragon.

A dragon? The only one that Inuart knew who had a pact with a dragon was… "Caim! Caim could help!"

Somehow, the voice sounded disappointed in Inuart's answer. Caim? Allow him to bathe in her gratitude and love?

Inuart lost the strength in his voice once more as he groped for some kind of explanation. Was he supposed to give Caim an invitation to surpass him yet again? Was he supposed to be the one left in the shadows of victory as Caim bathed in its light once more? Surely Furiae would see him… Surely Furiae would know that it was Inuart who saved her…? "She…" he whimpered.

The voice was unrelenting in its answer. She is my bride. She is MY bride. Her kisses are mine alone. Her love is mine alone. If only I had the strength….

A revelation occurred in Inuart's mind: if HE could make a pact with a dragon, then HE could save Furiae. HE could be the one in the glorious light of victory and Caim would be the one left in the shadows. HE would be the one to surpass Caim, and there would be nothing that Caim could do about it. CAIM would be the helpless one. CAIM would be the one cowering and calling for help. Inuart let a sneer slowly form on his face as his eyes began to glow a menacing red. If only he could find a dragon…

"If only I had the strength…"

…………

WOO! I wrote this in like… two days… Wo0t. Hurray for me. See, it's easier when it's mostly events and missions that have to follow a specific plot… Quicker that way. Anyway, thanks for reading! In any case, I would have had this chapter up earlier, but apparently, doesn't like my disc...

Ja!