I'm alive! Now for all those of you who were hedging bets… I accept . :D Anyways, thanks for continuing to read and review – the support does wonders for me. And for any who wondered… no, it's slash. It's definitely slash. I think Kaname and Sousuke are cute and all for a canon couple, but where's the fun in canon? So, yes, it will be a dominant slash pairing.

PS: For those who don't know, "BFE" stands for "butt-fucking Egypt", or "the middle of absolute nowhere." Only Mao, dude.

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Sousuke

Chidori and I sat for a long time in silence, poking at our food. She would glance at me every now and then, but she never said anything. My mind was a million miles away – or perhaps only a thousand, in the icy plains of Antarctica, where my future probably lay.

I wouldn't have been surprised in the least if that was how things ended. Even if my superiors never discovered that things weren't as quiet as I led them to believe, I could still be punished severely if word got out about past indiscretions. As long as the information ended at Tessa, I was relatively safe. But after the disaster in Helmajistan, all Mithril needed was an excuse to get rid of me: if I was involved with the enemy, in any form or fashion, I was obviously passing along information. There could be no other answer in such a situation, or at least not one that mattered.

While her timing was usually terribly inappropriate, Kaname managed to politely break the stretching silence with a sigh. "I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier."

"Apology accepted."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

She bit her lip. "I'm just worried, Sousuke."

"I understand that."

"You know why I'm worried, right?" she pressed. "I mean, you get that I'm not being a huge, anal bitch just because it's fun, don't you? You're playing with fire, Sousuke. And when I say fire, I mean like those fireworks that you try to shoot off, but they don't launch, and so they blow up in your face and you smell like sulfur for a week."

"I think you're reading too much into it," I told her mildly. "I understand that you don't want me to place myself in any kind of danger."

"Damn right I don't want that," she agreed vehemently. "And I think that anywhere within a hundred feet of that creep is dangerous. So, by association, I think you should stay way far away from him."

"It would probably be safer," I agreed wryly. "But the irony lies in the fact that you remain safer as long as we have his information, and your safety takes precedence over mine."

"Well, I don't feel safer," she grumbled. "I keep waiting for him to pull another fast one and kill us all."

"The upside," I told her in a neutral voice, "is that he can only kill us once."

She stared at me for a moment, then grinned. "Sousuke, was that a joke?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She looked on the verge of squealing. "Sure, sure. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

But she was beaming proudly, and I had the feeling she was lying, as well.

888888

I took my seat before Kalinin grimly, the light feeling I was left with after dinner gone entirely. "Sergeant Sagara reporting, sir."

He nodded in acknowledgement. "We have a dilemna, Sergeant. You've noticed, I take it, that MUSE has gone on the offensive in the case of Miss Chidori."

"Yes, sir." It would be hard for me not to notice.

"We do not tolerate terrorism, Sergeant, nor do we tolerate the means they will use to seek that end, therefore we must also go on the offensive. Our primary objective at this point is to eliminate their main base of operations."

"I understand."

"That, however, is where we run into a problem," he continued. "MUSE anticipates an attack at any given time, and so their base is constantly changing locations. If we're to have any hope of launching a successful attack, we need to know where they're going to be before they get there. Your assignment is to find their next location and report back to me."

Silence stretched as he sifted through a file, more likely bringing down his temper than actually reading. "That," he added, "is where he comes into play."

I didn't need to know who he was talking about; Gauron was seated to my left and stretched out as though the metal chair beneath him was made of the finest leather.

"There is a man in Moscow whose ties to MUSE run very deep – he arranges the facilities they operate out of, all across the globe, and sees to it that they have adequate equipment to work with. So far, he has proven invaluable to their operation," Kalinin explained, careful to ignore the man beside me lest he lose his temper.

"His name is Raskowitz," Gauron added, "and he so happened to be on my soccer team twenty-five years ago. I also happened to post his bail once, and he owes me a favor."

"A favor," I repeated blankly.

"The two of you will be departing for Moscow at 0800 tomorrow to pay this man a visit," Kalinin said neutrally. "You will use whatever means necessary to learn the next location of MUSE's central operations, and we will launch an offensive operation as soon as we have that information."

"What about Chidori?" I pressed, effectively keeping any dawning shock at the revelation to myself.

"Sergeant Weber and Major Mao will accompany her back to Tokyo and act as her bodyguards until you return. We have one of our own posing as her double in Hong Kong to draw MUSE's attention away from her actual location at the moment, so she will be perfectly safe until you return."

I sighed, biting back all the arguments in my brain as they formed and settled for a "Yes, sir."

"Ready for a vacation, Kashim?" Gauron asked dryly. "I could sure use some nice, cold Russian air – and let's hope the KGB doesn't get my number while we're there. I burned a few bridges awhile back, and they seem the type to hold grudges…"

"You," Kalinin said with what sounded like masked relief, "are excused. Guards are waiting at the door to escort you back to your quarters."

"It was a nice chat, Andrey," he said cheerfully. "Let's be sure to do it again sometime, eh?"

"Good day," was the cold response.

Once he was out of the room, I found myself releasing a bated breath. "Sir, may I speak freely?"

"You may."

"I don't like the idea of trusting him in any way, or trusting anyone who he trusts," I began.

"Nor do I, but we've run comprehensive scans on every aspect of this mission, his contact included. Everything checks out against his story, and as much as I hate to say it, he is the only one who can call this favor in."

"It must have been a big favor," I muttered wryly.

"The man you're going to see was imprisoned ten years ago in the United States, awaiting trial for several misdemeanors. Once they had him behind bars," he explained, "they started to dig deeper into his past and see what they could bring up for future indictments. Had they held him long enough, he would have been charged with embezzlement, espionage, murder, grand-scale technology theft, and a slew of other things. Considering the nature of the murders he was involved in, he would have certainly received the death penalty."

"But his bail was met before they could discover any of these things?" I guessed.

"Correct. Once he made bail, he left the country immediately, had several identity changes that were each very difficult to trace, and underwent several reconstructive surgeries so that he hardly could have been connected to the man wanted in America. He has been living out his life on the fringe of society, aiding organizations from the CIA and Mithril to Al Quaeda. Not so many years ago, he aided Mithril in the collapse of the communist hold over Berlin. Speaking financially, he's done well for himself. I understand he has a wife now, as well."

"All thanks to Gauron," I realized.

"More than you can imagine," he agreed darkly. "I believe his wife was one of Gauron's hostages in an operation for the KGB – her father was of great influence in Russia, and he was trying to swing the vote in a presidential election. She and Raskowitz met through him, while she was looking down the barrel of his gun. Somehow, they formed a rather unorthodox bond, and married not long after her father was told she had been killed."

"And he hasn't called in this favor yet?" I wondered.

"Not as far as he says."

"So now we're taking his word when he gives it."

"At this point," he said grimly, "we have no other choice. I know you would rather not be involved in this mission at all, especially given the fact that it will just be the two of you, but you are the only person I trust when it comes to dealing with him. You and I alone comprehend what he is capable of, and for his companion to lack that awareness would prove catastrophic to the mission. I don't like it either, Sergeant," he admitted. "I believe that when it comes to you, he is prone to act recklessly and with little to no regard for the lives of others. I also worry that your own judgment may be impaired, but believe me when I tell you I'm left with no other options. I would go myself," he continued, "but our mutual dislike would inevitably cause the mission to end in disaster. I trust you, Sergeant Sagara, to appreciate the gravity of this assignment and keep your head about you, even in the most unorthodox of circumstances."

"I'll do my best, sir," I promised. "I'm –" I swallowed around a suddenly dry throat. "I'm no longer as idealistic as I once was, nor am I as susceptible to him as before. I've learned that when he is underestimated, people will die. I lost my team to him, sir," I said quietly. "No matter what arises over the course of this mission, I can't forget that, and I can't forgive him."

In that moment, Kalinin seemed very, very old. "Sometimes," he began quietly, sounding less like a military commander than I'd ever heard, "I wish that you hadn't seen the things you've seen in your short years. I believe you could have grown up to be a very happy person, if you'd been dealt a better hand."

For a moment I found myself speechless. "Sir, I –" I wasn't sure what to say.

He cleared his throat and turned back to the thick file before him, the persona replaced by the man I'd known since childhood – born to lead and control. "That will be all, Sergeant. Dress warmly; Russian winters have often been the fall of the mighty."

88888888

"You've gotto be joking," Melissa said flatly. "Kalinin is actually sending you out to the middle of BFE with him?"

"We're going to Moscow," I told her darkly. "It's one of the largest cities in the –"

"You know what I mean, Sousuke," she snapped. "As far as I'm concerned, you're in enemy territory with the enemy and absolutely no backup. And all of this for some friend of a friend who says he can call in a favor? I can't believe this. First we're worried that you're going to get court-marshaled over letting the son of a bitch live, and now you're going to Russia to get information from one of his guys?"

"The fact is, Gauron has had access to information about Mithril that has proven catastrophic before, and if he considers Raskowitz to be an informant of his caliber –"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," she grumbled. "It's like drug dealers. You bust a big dealer, only to find out that they get their drugs from an even bigger dealer, and so on."

"Only I believe we're near the top of the food chain," I agreed.

"Which is a hundred percent more dangerous," Kurz put in. "Technically, he's not getting anything out of this, so his information might be a little vague."

"From what I can gather, they sound almost like friends."

Mao shook her head. "You know he doesn't trust anyone that far, Sousuke. And how could he? – He's the biggest sell-out I've ever had the displeasure of meeting, and I wonder sometimes if even he doesn't trust himself. Can't love anyone if you don't love yourself – same goes for trust. If you know you'd sell out your own grandmother for the right price, who's to say that everyone else isn't like that?"

I hesitated. "I don't like it either, Major. I don't like it at all."

"Well, then I'm glad we at least agree on that," she scowled.

"If there was someone else going with you, I might be a little more okay with it," Kurz sighed. "Maybe. Maybe. But this alone shit is what I've got a problem with. Dude, I don't even trust him when Melissa and I are there, and we at least have some grasp of what he's capable of. You two out there on your own? Hell, no."

I studied the mission report with an intensity that I didn't feel. "It's not an ideal situation," I said vaguely.

"That's an understatement," Kurz scoffed. "And on top of that, doesn't Kalinin know why you shouldn't – "

I glanced up sharply. "That's enough, Kurz," I interrupted shortly.

Melissa's fist slammed down onto the report, so close to my face that I could fell a breeze. "Enough of this dodgy bullshit," she snapped. "I think it's about time I got some answers, Sergeant. You know exactly what I'm talking about, so I'm going to ask you a yes-or-no question: Are you? Truthfully."

A direct order from Melissa was a direct order, and I didn't give myself a chance to falter. "No."

"Did you?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Hey, babe, that's not exactly yes or no…" Kurz began, only to stop when she fixed him with a death glare. "Right. So, uh, ignore me."

"Not a problem. When, Sergeant?"

"On leave in Hong Kong."

She nodded. "And it ended?"

"Yes."

"Is that why you relocated to Chidori's apartment?"

"Yes."

"And when he kidnapped Chidori?"

"Nothing. It was well over."

"Any occurrences lately?"

"The situation is under control," I replied neutrally.

"THAT WASN'T A YES OR NO ANSWER."

"Doesn't that automatically answer your question?" asked Kurz dryly.

"Shut up, Kurz," she snapped.

"It'd automatically answer the question if you asked me," he countered.

"Yeah, well, let's not get you and Sousuke confused, all right?" she said sourly.

"Well if something's happened," he pressed, "then Kalinin doesn't know, because if he did, he wouldn't send you two off together."

"It's not a difficult mission," I told him acidly. "Just a complicated one. The mission report states that security is very tight around Raskowitz, and he trusts no one, so there can't be anyone else from Mithril nearby. It's already a stretch go get me in as it is. The only danger comes if he gets any reason to distrust us, and as long as we're the only ones in the area, we should be relatively safe. The problem is that outsiders tend to stick out once you get closer to the underground, and so we can't afford to have anyone else noticed. It's that simple."

Kurz spoke to the rhythm of his head pounding against the table. "I don't have any questions about your ability to complete the mission, okay? I don't like you there unprotected from him. It's that simple, Sousuke. Jesus."

"Stop that," Melissa told him absently. "You can't afford to waste those brain cells."

He sat back in his chair and scowled. "This is a bad idea," he grumbled. "That's all I have to say, is it's bad."

"I won't even be around him until we arrive in Moscow," I told him. "He'll be in a restricted part of the aircraft until we land."

"Yeah, and then he's set free on Moscow,' he finished. "You know, you're usually the one pointing this stuff out, Sousuke…"

"My judgment," I said tightly, "is not impaired. I am completely aware of the hazards of this mission – more aware, in fact, than anyone else on this submarine. That is why I was chosen for this mission, and no one else. I've already discussed this with Kalinin, who is acutely aware of our past, and yet still decided to send us. If he trusts me to complete the mission despite the circumstances, then I'd hope the two of you could at least pretend to extend the same courtesy."

"Yeah, but then we wouldn't be your friends," said Kurz dismissively. "If we didn't bug the shit outta you, then who would?"

I shook my head. They might not know it, but I appreciated the energy they put into – well, into me.

Even if it was circumstantially unnecessary.

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Oh… and by the way, I believe so far that I'm the only GxS writer. Trust me, I've looked like mad. There was one other story, but I think it got flamed off the site. Sad face

So… if anyone knows of anyone else, or is personally hiding fiction… let me know!