"Why don't you go shopping or something?" The Joker told Harley one morning.
It had been almost a week since Jack became ill and Harley had busied herself around the house making sure he was always being tended to, and The Joker had seen that she had finally worn herself down when he had come home one night to find her sleeping on the floor by Jack's bed.
"You've been cooped up in this place for too long," he told her.
"Are you sure, Puddin?" she said as he gave her purse to her and walked her to the front door. "You two are gonna be okay?"
The Joker grinned. "Of course, doll. We're big boys."
Harley sighed. "Okay, well, you know where his medicine is, right?"
"I think I threw it away..." Harley opened her mouth in disbelief and he chuckled. "I'm kidding! Now, go on!" He watched her as she walked to the car, and she turned around and blew a kiss to him.
He closed the door, walked to the living room and sat on the sofa, still in his undershirt and pajama pants. He picked up the newspaper on the coffee table and heard Jack's footsteps coming down the stairs and he said, "Hey, kiddo."
"Where's Mom?" he heard Jack's hoarse voice as he walked closer.
"She went out for a while. She'll be home later tonight."
He suddenly felt something land beside him on the sofa. He turned his head to see one of the big Nerf dart guns he had brought home one day and Jack was holding the other one with a sneaky grin on his face.
The Joker sat up, threw his paper aside and looked at him as he picked up the gun. "We can't tell Mom."
They suddenly ran to different places in the house while they silently counted to ten to themselves. Jack hid in the storage closet and The Joker hid behind the dryer that was under the stairs.
The object was to hunt one another and to shoot the other with a dart. This was a favorite of Jack's that had spawned after The Joker had read him the short story "The Most Dangerous Game."
The Joker soon heard the storage closet open slightly. "Ha!" he yelled. "I know where you are, kiddo. You're making it too easy." The door creaked open and he heard Jack's feet running across the floor. The Joker quickly shot around the corner on his knees, with his dart gun aimed. He didn't see him so he crept slowly with his back on the laundry machines. He peered around the corner and saw Jack's foot sticking out from underneath the kitchen table.
The Joker grinned as he aimed the gun and shot a dart at Jack's foot, which quickly moved out of the way before it could get hit.
"Ya missed me!" Jack shouted mockingly from the kitchen.
The Joker got to his feet and kept his body crouched down as he sneaked around the stairs. Just as his head appeared, a dart flew past him, barely missing his ear. "Dammit," he heard Jack say.
"Watch your mouth or I get a free shot," The Joker said as he followed the sound of Jack's muffled giggling. He followed it to the living room, but didn't see him. He stepped closer to the coffee table and knelt down to look under it. Just as his knee hit the floor, Jack shot up from behind the arm of the sofa and shot his father in the shoulder with a dart.
"BANG!" Jack shouted triumphantly and laughed.
He ran for it as his father chased him around the living room sofa. The Joker would fake Jack out, pretending to run around one way and then run around the other. They did this until The Joker finally jumped over the sofa and Jack yelled and ran under the stairs, hiding in the pile of clean laundry that had yet to be folded.
He watched his father looked for him behind the hamper and inside the dryer, knowing this was one of his son's favorite hiding places. He walked away and Jack waited a few seconds before standing up and looking around. He found himself face to face with The Joker, who was lying on top of the dryer with his gun pointed right at his forehead. "Gotcha, squirt!" he said as he pulled the trigger.
Jack ducked just in time and ran to the other side of the room. He threw himself on the floor and slid backwards on his back as he shot his father in the stomach. "POW!" Jack announced again.
The Joker looked at him with surprised eyes. "Oh, you're gonna get it now, Dirty Harry." He took big strides over toward Jack and raised his dart gun. Jack ran to the kitchen to hide under the table again, but as he turned, The Joker shot him in the forehead.
Jack fell on the floor with a thud and The Joker's jaw dropped. "Oh, shit," he said, slightly laughing. He ran over and knelt beside his son, who had one of his hands over his eye. "Jack, are you okay?" his father asked.
Jack whimpered pitifully as he slowly moved his hand away from his eye, but then let The Joker have it right in the forehead with a dart. "Fooled you!" Jack laughed as he shot up off of the floor and out of the kitchen.
The Joker ran after him and grabbed him from behind. Jack dropped his gun and laughed wildly as his father spun him around really fast. The Joker stopped spinning and tickled Jack until he was writhing on the floor in a fit of giggles. "So, you like to fight dirty, huh?" The Joker asked as he tickled him.
He pulled a dart from his gun, licking the rubber tip and pushing it onto Jack's forehead making him laugh even harder. The Joker pointed a finger in his face and exclaimed, "Now, I got you! Ha!"
Jack raised himself up and pulled the dart off of his forehead. He started to cough from laughing so much and The Joker knew it was time for them to stop. "Okay," he said to Jack. "Enough rough-housing. What else can we do?"
Jack stood up and thought for a moment. "Oh, Dad!" he said excitedly. "It's Saturday!"
The Joker chuckled. "Cartoons and cereal, it is."
Later that afternoon, Harley came home with loads of shopping bags in her hands. She set them down on the kitchen table and looked around when she noticed the TV was playing Bugs Bunny as he was singing opera. She walked over to the sofa and saw The Joker lying on his back with Jack lying on top of his chest, both of them sleeping. Harley glanced at the coffee table and spied the empty box of Lucky Charms and she grinned as she pulled out her cell phone and took a picture of the whole scene.
The sound of the cell phone closing woke up The Joker and she grinned at him. "You didn't take a picture, didya?" he whispered.
Harley gave him an innocent look. "No way, Pud. Why would I do that?" She looked at the empty cereal boxes again. "Is this all you two have eaten today?"
The Joker looked at the cereal boxes and then gave Harley an offended look. "It's Saturday," he said matter-of-factly.
She smiled as he slowly lifted himself up with his son still sleeping on his chest. He took him upstairs to put him in his bed, and when he came back to the kitchen, Harley met him with her arms crossed. "So, did Jack get some rest this morning?" she asked.
The Joker walked past her without looking at her and replied, "Uh, yeah. Sure did..."
He sat at the table and Harley stood over him, showing him the toy dart she had found on the floor. "Oh, really?" she asked.
The Joker looked at the dart and then gave Harley a guilty look. He pointed toward the stairs and said, "He started it."
Harley giggled and set the dart on the table as The Joker grabbed her wrists and pulled her to him, making her straddle him while he sat in the chair. "So," he whispered. "What'd ya get me?"
Harley sneered and answered, "What makes you think you deserve a present?"
The Joker gave her another offended look. "I watched after our boy while you went out and had fun."
"Yeah, at your request," Harley barked back, playfully. The Joker smiled at her and caressed her cheek with his thumb. She sighed. "I did get you something, as a matter of fact, but you can't have any now."
She reached over and grabbed a small bag from the table. She pulled out a box of chocolate truffles and The Joker moaned. "You're evil," he said in a hungry tone.
"That's why you love me, right?" she giggled.
He played with the gold ribbon around the box and looked at Harley with pleading eyes. "May I have one now, pleeeaasse? I'll split it with ya."
He gave her his best smile and she agreed. "Okay, Daddy. Just one, though. You've already had a bowl of sugary cereal."
"Uh, three, actually," he mumbled as he took out a dark chocolate truffle and took a bite.
Harley's jaw dropped. "Oh my God! I'm amazed you were able to sleep."
"Sugar crash, baby," he said as he chewed slowly on his piece of chocolate.
"I think you've had enough sugar for one day, Puddin'," Harley scolded.
"Aw, come on, doll. You know I can never get enough sugar," he said as he grinded his hips upward against hers. She smiled as he fed her the truffle. The chocolate slowly melted in her mouth and the smooth taste of the raspberry center forced a moan out of her throat.
The Joker's eyes widened. "Wow," he said. "That easy, huh? Wish I could've known that back at Arkham."
She giggled as he sat up and started kissing her neck. This made her shiver and she wrapped her arms around him and grabbed his hair. She grinded her hips into his and he did likewise as his hands cupped her bottom. "Let's take this upstairs..." he whispered with a sly grin as bit her shoulder, making her moan.
They were soon interrupted by Jack's coughing as he was coming down the stairs. Harley quickly jumped off of The Joker and he moved his chair further under the table to hide his "excitement."
"Hey, baby," Harley said to Jack as he walked up to her. She knelt down and he lazily hugged her.
"Mom? What'd you buy me?" he mumbled.
Harley stood up and looked at The Joker, smiling. "You two are just alike."
The Joker gave Jack a "thumbs up" as Harley grabbed a big bag from the table. Jack smiled as she brought it over to him. "This is actually for you and Dad," she told Jack as she pulled out a huge box. The Joker shifted in his chair to get a better look and saw that it was a big toy helicopter.
"Wow!" Jack exclaimed. "That's so cool! Can it actually fly, Mom?"
Harley laughed. "Of course it can, Jacky. Look. It says here that it can fly up to 60 feet high and it can be steered by turning the controls instead of using joysticks."
Jack jumped up and looked at his father. "Wow! Isn't that cool, Dad?"
The Joker laughed. "Very cool. I didn't have anything like that when I was your age."
Suddenly, The Joker's cell phone rang and he answered, "Yeah?" He got up from the table and went to the corner of the kitchen to lean against the counter. "What the hell does he want?" he continued to talk on the cell. "Ringo, are you sure? Because if I know Maroni…"
Harley's head shot up. He had promised to no longer make deals with Maroni, and she gave him a curt glare. He caught it, but just glared back at her as he continued, "Okay. Get the others and meet me here." He slammed his cell phone shut, held Harley's gaze for another moment and walked up the stairs to the bedroom.
Harley looked over at Jack who was looking at the picture of the helicopter on the box with a disappointed look on his face. "Where's he going now?" he asked her quietly.
She ran her fingers through his hair and sighed. "I don't know, baby."
He was curious as to what he had been talking about on the phone, but it didn't matter right now. All he wanted to do was fly his new helicopter.
"It's okay, Mom," he told Harley. "I'll wait until tomorrow to play with my new toy. I don't want to play with it without Dad."
Jack rose from the floor and walked up the stairs. "Where are you going, honey?" Harley called after him.
Jack turned and looked at her. "To my room to read." He closed his door and Harley went upstairs to the bedroom to find The Joker touching up his face paint in the bathroom.
Harley sat on the bed and called after him, "I bought that toy for the both of you, ya know."
"Don't start, Harley," he growled.
She sighed and looked down at her hands. "What's going on, Pud?"
"I don't know," he answered as he applied dark makeup to his eyes. "But something sounded fishy about it."
"But it's Ringo, babe. Don't you trust him?" Harley pulled the sheets over her legs and leaned back against the headboard.
"He said that Maroni had ties with Cuccino."
"So?"
The Joker turned and stood in the bathroom door. "Cuccino is an arms dealer...well, was an arms dealer. Why would Maroni have ties with him if he was competition?"
She thought a moment. "Is Maroni still making deals with the cops?"
"Yeah...I'm sure Cuccino was peddling to them, too...what would meeting with me have to do with them having supposed ties? I could really give a shit just as long I didn't get screwed by either of them. Then again, he has put a rather small hit out on me..."
They were silent as he turned toward the mirror again to apply his paint. "Does...Maroni still manufacture coke outta that old warehouse?" Harley asked.
The Joker sniffed as he put away his toiletry bag. "I guess..."
She pursed her lips, saying, "You're not...taking any, are you?"
He stood still and looked at her reflection in the mirror as she sat on the bed. "I think you'd know, darlin'."
Harley nodded to herself in agreement, remembering watching him go through painful withdrawals in Arkham.
She also thought about how Ringo had been acting weird lately, and had noticed him carefully observing the other men as well as The Joker's plans. "Do you think, then, that Ringo has been in the Family all this time? Is that it?" she asked him.
He came out of the bathroom with his fresh face paint on and started to put on his shirt. "Yep. I also think he isn't calling the others either...so I did…as well as back-up."
Harley's jaw dropped. The only time The Joker ever called any of his other guys was when he was pulling off something big. These were the guys that Harley wasn't too familiar with because they were all troubled teens or homeless crooks that she didn't trust around her or her son.
He noticed her concerned look and came over to her as he buttoned his vest. He knelt in front of her and looked into her eyes. "I want you and Jack to go over to Ivy's tonight and stay there until I call for you to come back," he told her as he caressed one of her legs. "This may get ugly."
"You're not gonna do this thing here, are you?" she said with slight caution in her voice.
The Joker sighed. "That's why I don't want you or Jack around."
She nodded, but continued to look down at her hands with a worried expression.
He chuckled. "Hey?" he asked. "What does it feel like to kiss a guy who's wearing your lipstick? Is it like kissing yourself?"
Harley gave him a confused look, but couldn't control her laughter. "Does that mean you want a kiss, Daddy?" she asked back.
"No, it was a rhetorical question..." he whispered as he pressed his lips against hers.
Townshend was soon loading their bags in the car as The Joker walked Harley and Jack out the front door. He knelt down to Jack's level and ran his fingers through his hair. "You be good, ya hear me, kiddo?" he told his son.
Jack nodded and started to climb into the car when The Joker put a hand on his shoulder. Jack turned and faced him and his father picked him up and embraced him. Jack squeezed The Joker's neck and asked, "Can I stay here, Dad? I wanna help."
His father was caught off guard, saying firmly, "Absolutely not." When he saw the slight surprise in Jack's face, he licked his lips and muttered, "You need to stay with Mom, okay? Take care of her..."
Jack smirked and nodded as he was helped into the backseat and watched as The Joker turned to Harley, who looked worried.
His father pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. She broke the kiss and hugged him tightly. "Take care tonight, Puddin'," she pleaded to him.
He kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry about me," he told her. "Take care of our boy." She nodded as he continued, "I'll call you in the morning."
Harley climbed into the car and as they drove away, The Joker saw Jack's head pop up in the back window.
Jack had a feeling of what his father was going to do tonight and he wanted to be there.
Before he could think on it more, Harley rubbed his back and said, "Maybe Aunt Ivy can pop some popcorn and we can watch a movie." Jack grinned and nodded his head. He liked going to Aunt Ivy's but his curiosity was getting the better of him.
I wanna show Dad that I can help, he thought.
Later that night, Harley and Ivy put Jack to bed in her guest room. They shut the door and sat in the living room where Ivy turned on the radio to soft jazz. "I knew Ringo was up to something," she said to Harley. "I never did like him."
Harley shrugged. "He never liked me for some reason. Hopefully, Mistah J will fix everything."
Ivy raised an eyebrow at her and said, "You mean like kill him?"
Harley looked at her and shrugged again. "If that's the way it goes, I say good riddance."
Jack was listening through the crack in the door and had heard every word they said. He could tell that Ringo had never liked him or his mother, which is why Jack would avoid his path whenever he was around. He thought about the condemning and reproachful look Ringo always gave him when he would catch him listening to the details of a job as they sat in the kitchen.
Jack quietly closed the door and put Humphrey, his elephant, on the bed. "Sorry, Humphrey," he whispered to his stuffed animal. "But Dad needs me."
He pulled on his jeans and his sweater and bundled himself up in his thick purple plaid coat that his father had gotten him. He quietly opened up the window and peeked his head out and peered down at the ground. Ivy's apartment was only on the second floor, but he couldn't chance making a wrong move. He climbed onto the ledge and let himself drop onto the canopy of the entrance of the building. He peered over the edge and saw that the doorman had temporarily gone inside, and he swayed himself on the bar that held the awning and dropped onto the concrete.
He spotted his first landmark, the Kosher deli to the left of the building, and ran as fast as he could back home.