Doppelgänger: Sequel to Regression

by Linda09

Is the world big enough for two Clark Kent's? – Story moves between T mostly to M for the occasional strong language and sexual content – Clois

10. Chapter 10

I figure if Smallville can make Jor-el all knowing then I can too, and so I have. If it doesn't work for you, just pretend that it does because I'm not changing it.

BTW: I have added three chapters to make up for missing last week, so make yourselves comfortable because it's a long read.

Linda

oOo

Chapter 10

Martha lay in bed and wondered what the morrow would bring. She enjoyed Lois' visits, as few and far between as they were; but she hurt for her son who usually looked at Lois with deep buried heartache whenever her attention was elsewhere.

She was glad Lois was unaware of her son's feelings, and had to admit that she was also glad that he didn't see her very often. If Clark had no feelings for her, if he still loved his wife then any time spent with Lois would be enjoyable. But knowing that she could do nothing for her boy, other than giving him the privacy of pretending that she didn't know he was hurting was always hard. Now it was going to be even harder. The only thing she could hope for is that all would be rectified quickly, and when it was over that her son did become Superman. Not only to help others but to give himself a purpose in life.

He'd rushed in and made a mistake when he was still so young, and her heart ached that this was one mistake she couldn't fix for him, couldn't do anything about. If Lois and Oliver married she didn't know whether Clark would get closure, or if the wound would become deeper, but suspected that it would be the latter rather than the former. She'd always known that he would hurt when Lois got married, but now he would also mourn for what might have been; and she could only pray that time would be the great healer and Clark didn't suffer for long.

When Clark was younger she and Jonathan kept hoping their son would realise the Lana wasn't the girl for him, but he'd been so fixed in his resolve that there was no getting through to him.

If Lana had been the one for Clark, she wouldn't have led him down the garden path so many times. If she'd really only had been interested in friendship before they dated, then her behaviour with him wouldn't have been so calculating.

Sadly Clark had been completely blind to Lana's artifice, and games. He was such a straight forward person, that he saw the good in people until they let him down over and over. Unfortunately, no matter how often Lana had done that to him, he'd never seen it. He'd blamed himself when she turned away from him, blamed himself when she became angry and upset, blamed himself for everything. He'd never once stopped to consider that Lana could be the one at fault.

Even when Lana had boyfriends, she'd still expected Clark to tell her all his secrets, give her all his trust, be an open book for her to read; almost as if she had to know everything about him before deciding if he was worthy of her. And Clark, who was completely unversed in the ways of chicanery, thought that what Lana demanded was only right and fair.

If anyone else had been as unyielding and insistent with him he wouldn't have been so patient or taken the burden onto himself. He would have challenged them and if necessary told them to mind their own business in a way they'd receive the message loud and clear to 'back off'.

Her son was a nice kind person but he could also be inflexible, and like everyone he had his limits. She knew that before Chloe had found out the truth that he'd told her off a number of times when she questioned him, or when her investigations about weird things got a little too close for his liking, and the girl had been his best friend. But Lana had been different. He just couldn't make himself tell her to 'back off'. He just couldn't ignore her interrogations and usually came away from their encounters sad and angry with himself. Resentful at being an alien, and blaming himself for driving her away, only to keep on trying to win her over time and again.

She wished more than anything that instead of staying silent that she and Jonathan had spoken up just once. Unfortunately they'd figured it was only a teenage crush so hadn't taken it seriously, but they should have the longer it went on. She wished they had pointed out to Clark how manipulative and controlling Lana was behaving while she was doing it at the time. That haunted her. She and Jonathan hadn't been teenagers, they'd seen Lana's slyness and her scheming and they'd let their son down by not speaking up. Yes, Clark would have gotten his back up, he would have stonewalled and become angry, but at least now she wouldn't feel like she'd let her son down just to keep the peace.

At the time they just didn't think they could take anymore discord, but they shouldn't have thought of themselves. They should have realised that Clark had needed their guidance not just with his alien heritage, but in the ways of deceit by a girl who knew she had their son wrapped around her little finger. Instead they'd turned a blind eye and said nothing. They were already dealing with Clark's issues of being an alien, his emerging powers, all the conflict that had arisen due to his feelings of inadequacy, and thought a teenage crush in comparison to all of that was of little consequence. They had been so short sighted, and had failed their son when he'd needed them the most.

She wouldn't have picked Lana as her daughter in law, she wouldn't have chosen her as the girl her son experienced first love with, but as she didn't get to decide those things, she should have done more than just telling Clark over and over that maybe Lana wasn't the girl for him. That hadn't been enough. That was the one thing he didn't want to hear, and the one thing he wouldn't give into anyone on; but as his mother she never should have stood by silently and done nothing. She should have spoken up no matter how much it hurt him, no matter how many times he got angry, it had been her job to protect her son and she'd failed him in this area.

When Clark and Lana had married she'd been worried by their haste. Her son used to have many fears, all of which stemmed from being different to everyone else, but marriage was such a huge step, and not one that should be taken as a short cut to fix problems or just to ease loneliness. But both of them had had been much too impetuous and impatient; neither one giving a thought that what a person wanted when they were 19, was rarely what they still wanted or what they needed when they grew up.

Unhappily a lot of kids made the same mistake; they lived in the moment, unable to see past the present day to the future. Even though Clark had said over and over that he could imagine himself and Lana being together forever, she'd known that his head had been filled with nothing more than school boy fancies. More than likely all he would have imagined was the two of them holding hands and running through a field of buttercups.

Kids didn't tend to think about the times when life would kick them, about bills needing to be paid, fights when money was tight, arguments about petty instances that all couples had; or realise that usually the thrill of excitement in being together mellows into a love that was just as strong, but no longer all about bright lights.

Love needed a foundation of more than just feelings to survive, or when love settled and it was no longer the glorious technicolour it had been previously, dissatisfaction soon crept in because all you had learnt to depend on was feelings. But feelings were notoriously unreliable; feelings changed with a person's mood. You could be happy one moment and irritated or depressed shortly afterwards. You might be fed up with your partner in the morning, and when you saw them that night remember why you couldn't live without them. Feelings couldn't be counted on to make a happy marriage. It took a solid combination of love, respect, liking, dedication and a willingness to stick it out.

She had seen their marriage decline, watched as Clark grew more and more discontent but had to admit that she'd been wrong about Lana. She'd expected the girl to make her son miserable, well she hadn't made him happy, but she had tried and still did. Clark now knew that Lana wasn't the girl for him, but that knowledge had come too late to be of any use to either of them. So although she wouldn't have picked Lana for her son, she couldn't fault her either. Lana had done everything she could to make Clark happy. She hadn't flirted with other men, hadn't played fast and loose with Clark's affections and she hadn't played games like when she was younger. Lana was fighting a losing battle, but she was still trying and Martha not only respected her for that, but also felt the sting of her conscience for misjudging her daughter in law so harshly when they got married.

Lana was still devoted to Clark; and she thought it was sad that for years he'd yearned for the girl, while she had been either oblivious or too involved in her own life to care, and now it was the other way around. Now it was Lana who couldn't do enough for him, so all in all she felt just as sorry for her daughter in law as she did her son.

Clark and Lana had married in a burst of teenage feelings, intolerant of delays and unwilling to wait for the future to unfold, and sadly it was now too late. They'd learnt that the wedding; no matter how dazzling or informal was the easy part, but marriage took work, and feelings weren't enough to make a happy union if there was nothing else to back it up.

She hurt for her son, she hurt for her daughter in law but there was nothing she could do. Sighing deeply Martha closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.

oOo

Chloe lay in bed and looked out the window wondering how Clark was. He had to be hurting and she wished she could give her old friend some words of comfort, but what could she say.

She knew that what she'd said earlier was true; it was human nature to wonder about possibilities and missed opportunities. Clark might have wondered what his life would have been like had he not married Lana, but he definitely would have thought about it after falling in love with Lois; and now that he'd met Smallville it had to so much worse.

As she'd pointed out earlier, Clark never used to hide his emotions and although he'd now become the master of pretence, she knew him far too well to be deceived. When he first saw Lois she'd been able to read him like a book, and she remembered feeling bitterly sorry for him because everything he was feeling was there on his face. Within moments he'd shut down but it was too late, she's seen and knew that his mom had too. She'd heard Martha's quiet gasp, saw her shaking hand lifted to her mouth before it fell to her side then they'd turned to each other simultaneously. In one quick glance they shared the knowledge of what they'd witnessed, and the unspoken agreement that it was never to be referred to openly. Then just as Clark had done, they'd both wiped their faces clear of anything but happiness in seeing the reunion of old friends.

She felt awful that Clark's feelings for Lois were known to them. Regardless of whether he was aware if they knew or not, she regretted that they were unable to give him the privacy of keeping his deepest feelings to himself. She would hate to be so exposed, even unknowingly and would have preferred to have remained in ignorance of his love for her cousin. She hurt for him knowing that he had what he always used to crave, only to discover that his love had been misdirected at the wrong person and now he was stuck.

She knew how much it hurt to want something that was forever out of reach, because he had been that for her. She had been so young, but love at that age was full of pain if it was unrequited; more so if the object of your affection was not only disinterested, but just as infatuated with someone else.

Although she'd never wanted to be Lana, she had occasionally wished that whatever the girl had that Clark seemed unable to resist could float her way too. She'd been absolutely crazy about him, and could now smile at her almost fierce devotion to him. She'd been as devoted to him, as he'd been to Lana; but unlike him, she hadn't cut herself off from other boys while waiting for him to notice her. Clark had gone out with Alicia but his attraction to her was clearly because of her uniqueness, other than that he hadn't even tried. He'd just sat around waiting for Lana which made it so much worse for him.

She'd had her work at the Torch, and at later at the Planet. She'd dated a couple of guys, and then she'd had Jimmy; who'd been not only been sweet and caring but a hell of a lot of fun. It had taken her time to get over Clark, but she eventually had, and she was glad that she hadn't wasted her life pining for him while he was Lana crazed, or by becoming despondent because of his marriage.

Lois had helped. The first night after she woke up, when it was just the two of them her cousin had talked frankly and openly to her. What she'd said had helped her to get on with her life, and to finally put Clark Kent behind her once and for all. She remembered how wretched she'd felt knowing that he was definitely off the market and bringing that night to mind recalled the conversation she'd had with her cousin.

The hospital room was quiet; she was glad that her cousin was alright but felt troubled at Lois' anger at Clark and Lana. Lois had never been one to pull her punches, but she didn't want animosity to exist between two people that she loved. She'd already decided not to take sides. This was something that had to be resolved between them, and she could only hope that it would be.

She was sitting in the chair beside Lois' bed, not yet ready to go to sleep on the trundle bed that had been brought in for her. She wanted to stay awake and make sure that Lois was alright. It was silly but she still felt a little apprehensive of going to sleep and waking up only to find her cousin once again unconscious.

"I'm sorry Chloe." Lois said quietly, holding out her hand.

"Sorry for what Lo, your fight with Clark and Lana earlier?" She asked with wrinkled brow, reaching out to clasp her cousin's hand with hers.

"No Chlo, I'm sorry because I know that you were hoping Clark would notice you one day." Lois contradicted squeezing her hand gently "It was never in the cards sweetie, but I'm still sorry that you're hurting."

"I always knew that I didn't have a shot but still..." She shrugged sadly.

"Chloe, Clark has no goals, no ambitions, all he ever wanted was to marry Lana and that was it, but he never talked about what he thought their future was going to be like." Lois said gently "And Lana's only goal was to have a boyfriend, and obviously to get married as soon as she could. Marriage is the only thing either of them has ever wanted."

Lois smiled and pushed herself up higher in the bed, then reached over and tucked a lock of hair behind her cousin's ear "But you Chlo, you want to be a hot shot journalist, you have aspirations and dreams sweetie, Clark only would have held you back." She reached out, grabbed a tissue and dried the tears running down her cousin's face then held the box out to Chloe "I can't see you being happy with a lifetime of rural domesticity. If that's what a person wants then it's great, but I think you'd soon find the existence constricting and stagnating. I just can't see you being happy with that for long."

"No I wouldn't." She admitted quietly and blew her nose "And Lana?"

"Lana's happy as long as she has a guy that idolizes her."

"You really think she's that shallow?"

"Yeah I do." Lois smile apologetically.

"And Clark will idolize her." Chloe said with finality.

"That's yet to be seen."

"Of course he will Lo, he always has." She countered swiftly.

"Yeah up to now he has, but before now all he had were dreams, and a lot of dreams fade in the cold light of day." Lois replied quietly.

"You don't think they'll last?"

"No, Chloe I don't…." Lois shook her head and gave a cheerless smile "…they can barely last the short time it takes to have a cup of coffee. Clark was all 'Oh I love Lana', but what did he really know about Lana? He never spoke to her long enough to know anything about her before they were arguing, or she was with another guy, both of which made her more elusive and therefore more exciting. But he hasn't got the intangible anymore Chlo, he's now got reality and he has to live with reality."

"Yeah but now that they've resolved things, surely their relationship will be better." She put forward hopefully.

"According to whom?" She asked, winging one eyebrow up in query "Think about it Chlo; all they ever did was argue, but now that they've resolved all their differences, what are they going to talk about? Do they even like each other? Do they enjoy each others company? Did they even give themselves the chance to find out?" Lois shook her head in pity "They were both so hell bent on getting married, but why Chloe? Why couldn't they just enjoy dating, really getting to know each other? What was so enthralling about marriage that they couldn't wait to tie themselves down?" She sighed deeply, lifted and lowered her brows "They were old long before their time. They didn't want to be teenagers enjoying life like most of us do, they wanted to be adults and they wanted it all now."

"Some people know who they want to spend their lives with when they're young Lo."

"Really, ok so let me see if I have this straight..." She lifted her hand and began to count "Lana loved Clark, he dumped her, she loved Lex and decided to marry him, but now she's left him high and dry and is back with Clark again. Now let's move onto Clark" Her hand closed and once again she began to count "He loved Lana, pursued her, got her, dumped her, and then wanted her back when she was engaged to Lex." Lois scoffed sarcastically "Their so called love is nothing more than WANT Chloe, but want is easily replaced. Once you have what you want, you no longer want it anymore." She paused and continued quietly "Want is a selfish, greedy emotion but love isn't selfish, and right now they're both too self absorbed to be able to distinguish the difference between the two."

"You don't think they really love each other?"

She shook her head and sighed heavily "No I don't; to really love and I'm not just talking romantic love here, but to really love you have to look beyond yourself. What you want, what you need, what you desire, and neither of them have the capacity for that. They both go hell for leather for what they want, uncaring of who they hurt along the way."

"But Clark broke up with Lana because he thought she'd get hurt if she was with him..." She considered her words carefully and gave Lois the truth in a way without telling Clark's secret "...he's always helping me out and he was worried that she'd be hurt and that's why he broke up with her; it was hard for him to let her go, but he did it for her Lo."

"Really, then tell me something. Clark's been helping you investigate stuff for years, so he must have known the whole time he was chasing after Lana, that once she was with him she could be hurt, but that didn't stop him from going after her did it?" Lois gave a mocking half smile "And then what? The danger that surrounded him suddenly disappeared and he realised that she wouldn't get hurt by being with him, or did it only vanish because she was with Lex." She shook her head in disgust "Clark can spread that 'I dumped Lana for her own good' snake oil to someone who believes it, but I don't."

Chloe dropped her head in defeat knowing her cousin was right. Clark said that he'd broken up with Lana to keep her safe. To prevent her from being hurt by him either physically or emotionally; he said that he'd done it for Lana's own good and protection. Yet her safety seemed to be his secondary concern once she was with Lex. She didn't believe for one moment that his only goal had been to save the girl from Lex. She didn't doubt that he was afraid Lana would be hurt by the other man, and that was a small part of why he'd still pursued her but it was far from the full reason. As Lois had pointed out without even being aware of the full situation; the danger Clark had been so concerned about before hadn't disappeared. He was still an alien, still had powers, and Lana could still be hurt by being with him whether they were married or not. If Clark had really only wanted to protect Lana from Lex, he could have tried to get her away from the other man without attempting to win her back for himself, and if he'd really been concerned about her welfare he certainly wouldn't have gotten back together with her again under any circumstances. The simple truth was, Clark wanted Lana back and that was all that mattered to him; end of story.

Lois' voice finally intruded into her consciousness making Chloe realise that she'd drifted off. She briefly wondered what she'd missed in the interim, but shrugged it off to concentrate on her cousins next words.

"...their wonderful romantic relationship was composed of nothing more than arguments, kissing, breaking up, making up blah blah, and because of that, they think their 'love'..." She crooked her fingers "... for each other is a lot more than it really is."

"They didn't only argue Lo." She gently chided her cousin.

"No you're right, they also snivelled and complained." Lois replied without any humour.

"Lo…." Chloe broke off and shook her head.

"Sweetie neither of them knows jack shit about being in a genuine relationship. They both talked a lot about love, but I think if real love came up and bit them on the ass, they wouldn't even know what it was." Lois smiled slightly in ridicule "The only kind of love they understand is the kind that's full off melodrama, and if they didn't have it they created it."

"That's not true." She said doubtfully.

"It is true Chloe. Both before and after they dated Lana questioned Clark about this, that and the other, and instead of telling her to piss off or mind her own business, he sat around like an idiot with his mouth half open, or tried to pacify her with soft words which obviously cut no ice because everyone was then subjected to yet another round of the Clark and Lana bullshit hour." She replied peevishly. "If I had a boyfriend or a friend or just anyone, who kept on at me about trust and questioned me about everything, I'd tell them to fuck off. Just because someone likes you or vice versa, either romantically or platonically, it doesn't give them the right to know your private business unless you want to share it." Lois frowned shaking her head.

Chloe shrugged half heartedly "He liked her Lo and he wanted her to like him so..." She trailed off uncertain how to finish.

"What he should have done was liked her less and gotten some balls. He should have told her that the problem wasn't with him but with her, and maybe she needed to start trusting people more instead of doubting everything, and if she didn't like it to hit the road." Lois returned swiftly.

Chloe sighed heavily but silently agreed. She herself had questioned Clark but not half as much as Lana had; getting the conversation back on track she posed the next question "But surely now that they're married things will be better."

"Chloe the drama's gone, that's what drove them; the tension and anxiety of 'will they or won't they be together', that's what made their relationship so exhilarating to them. But if you look back at their relationship they had nothing Chlo, NOTHING; and that's just what I've observed in the two years that I've been here, but I doubt it was any different before I arrived." Lois shook her head and smiled in pity "If they had really wanted to be together they could have been, but they put up roadblocks at every turn because it gave them a thrill to constantly be at odds. Together but apart, never quite making it but with the hope that someday they would; some people really do get off on that kind of thing." She sighed deeply and shrugged "Most people actually want their relationship to work; they want to be together. Most people aren't interested in this 'beauty and the beast' crap of always together in spirit but eternally apart." Lois shrugged and continued "But Chloe they didn't have anything concrete to hold them together, nothing substantial, all they had was their love for each other; or the love they were both big on talking about, but have yet to prove really exists. Their track record of using that as a base should have shown them they just don't have what it takes to make it."

"But Clark's loved Lana for years."

"Yeah, but that was when she was out of reach, she's no longer out of reach Chlo. If all you have is love or a facsimile of it, but you don't have liking or at the very least enjoyment in each other's company, then love's not going to last."

"He did enjoy her company." Chloe said automatically.

"Did he? Clark talked a lot about how much he loved Lana, but did he ever say that he liked her as a person, that he liked spending time with her?" When Chloe's mouth opened, Lois shook her head "Feeling a rush of hormonal lust isn't the same thing. That's just natural with the opposite sex and we've all experienced it, but lust isn't love you know that." She blew out a breath and nodded in agreement "If all you have is lust or attraction then once it's gone boredom usually sets in. I've gone through it with more than one with a cute guy that I was hot for in the beginning, and I daresay you have too. For their sakes I hope they have more than that, but I haven't seen any evidence of it so far."

"How long do you think they'll last?"

Lois shrugged again "I give them three years, four, max."

"Three years! C'mon Lo." Chloe asked incredulous "They dated for months. Clark was really heartbroken when they split up, and that was before Lana even took up with Lex." She pointed out.

"Yeah a few months big deal Chloe." Lois replied scornfully "A few months is nothing when you've been dreaming as long as he has. Anyone can overlook a person's faults for a few months, anyone can wear a mask and pretend they're something they're not for a few months, that's what dating is all about. It's supposed to be so you can get to know the other person, but mostly it's just a game of pretend where you only see their good side and show yours, but they're no longer just dating."

"You think he'll want out?"

"I think they both will." Lois paused and continued soft voiced "They're in for a rude awakening Chlo. Lana's going to realise that she doesn't have the option of running to another guy when the going gets tough; and once the initial thrill is gone Clark's going to find out that dreaming about being with Lana, is a lot different to actually being with her. When that happens he either will like her for herself, or he won't. But if he doesn't then he'll stop regarding her as he always has, and that in turn will make her discontented."

Chloe threw her cousin a doubtful look "But…"

Lois shook her head softly "I don't know whether they just don't like their own company or if their afraid of it, but what I have found is that she's the most needy person I've ever met in my life, and he's scared of ending up alone. So there you have the perfect combination, Miss Clingy and Mr Frightened; hardly the love affair of the century Chlo, more like a love of co-dependency. Hell the two of them will marry anyone just so they have someone; Lana with Lex this year, and Clark with Alicia last year." She scoffed slightly.

She couldn't tell Lois why Clark had married Alicia, so focused on Lana instead "Yeah but Lana was marrying Lex because she and Clark broke up and ..."

Lois voice swiftly cut in "If she was marrying Lex in some kind of twisted revenge against Clark then she's a freaking idiot. That's an even stupider reason to get married than just because you need someone by your side 24/7."

"No Lo, I mean that after she and Clark broke up, she felt lonely and turned to Lex, and they got engaged but it was an accident and ..." She trailed off at the disbelieving frown on her cousin's face.

Lois frowned and sighed again "Was it, or is it because she's one of those girls who's scared that if she doesn't say yes when a guy proposes, no one else will ever ask her again; or is she one of those girls who'll marry anyone just so she can say that she's married?"

Chloe shook her head in protest "She and Clark wanted to be together long before they were. If he hadn't broken up with her, she never would have turned to Lex."

Lois shook her head and smiled minutely "They said they wanted to be together, but what they really wanted was to be Smallville's answer to the love struck teenagers. The ones who just couldn't seem to get it right, but would hopefully beat the odds one day. The ones that everyone spoke about in hushed voices and sighed in pity over; they wanted to be the 'it' couple of Smallville..." she crooked her fingers then softly mocked "...so that when they finally overcame all their adversities and ended up in each other's arms, everyone in the land would rejoice." She finished by throwing up her arms theatrically.

"I ...ok yeah." She shook her head and started again "Ok, we all felt sorry for them because they had a tough time getting together but..."

"People have their own lives, their own problems and relationship troubles Chlo, they couldn't give a damn about someone else's. The only people who really cared were them, Mrs Kent for obvious reasons and you, because you're their friend."

"And you." Chloe put in softly.

"Truthfully, I wanted them to get over it because I was fed up with both of them." She smiled ruefully because she'd already known that about her cousin "You know me sweetie. I just don't have the patience to wet nurse someone through one self indulgent fit of pity after another." She nodded knowing that Lois' patience with self absorption was short in the extreme.

"Their relationship isn't hard to understand Chlo and it isn't the grand love affair they've made it out to be either; it's really very simple. Lana has to have a guy to look out for her, it doesn't matter who it is, she just has to have someone. Clark meanwhile fell for the pretty girl who lived next door, and talked himself into being in love with her, convinced that she's the only one who can take away his loneliness and all the rest of that rot, but I suspect he's in love with Lana as much as I'm in love with Shelby." She finished with a quick eye roll to the heavens.

"Clark does love Lana Lo."

Lois nodded slowly "Granted he's always talking about how he and Lana are meant to be together, but he was convinced of that before he'd even said two words to the girl. Lana could have been a mafia hit woman for all he knew, but he saw her face and decided that he loved her. Love is more than skin deep Chlo. Will he still love her if god forbid, anything happens and her face becomes a mangled ball of pulp, or will his so called love die a quick death?"

"He initially liked her on looks alone, but he has gotten to know her."

Her head shook back and forth in counter "No he hasn't. If Clark really loved Lana for who she is then he'd accept everything about her, not just the bits and pieces he likes; but he's never gotten past the veneer of her face."

"You really think his feelings for her are that superficial?" She asked subdued.

"Yeah..." Lois sighed and nodded "...look most people are attracted to the outer wrappings at first, that's just human nature. Guys are attracted to the pretty girl, or the girl with the big boobs; girls go for the school Adonis, or the sports star. But eventually the guy realises he needs more than a pretty decoration for his arm, the girl will find out that good looking doesn't mean she's attracted and they move on but Clark never has, and it's not because he's really in love with Lana. He's proven that he's in love with nothing more than her face simply by never discerning any faults in her. If you really love someone you should love them regardless of their imperfections, but he doesn't. It's not that he sees Lana's flaws and accepts them, y'know figuring they're not important and he loves her regardless; he chooses to pretend they don't even exist, or blames himself or someone else for the things she does, and we've both seen him do that Chloe. There's a big difference between loving someone despite all their failings and not; I actually feel more sorry for Lana."

"Why?"

"Because one day he will see her as she really is. Now that they're married they'll be living together 24/7 year after year after year. So he won't have the luxury of choosing to disregard the less than pleasant aspects of her personality he doesn't like. He'll probably ignore them for a while which is only natural in the afterglow of getting her back again, but he won't be able to overlook them forever, which he's now got with her; forever."

"And Lana?" Chloe asked questioningly.

"As long as he still adores her she'll be fine. I imagine it must be pretty intoxicating to be regarded as a goddess, but if or when his feelings change that pedestal he has her on will topple, and it's going to be a hell of a fall for her Chlo because she's gotten used to his adulation." Lois' lips lifted in a small smile "Have you ever seen the movie Camille?" She shook her head in response "There's this part in it where she says to the guy Armand, 'love me less and understand me better' and I agree with that. I'd much rather be with a man who loves me warts and all, then to be with someone who only loves the bits of me he can handle and ignores everything else. Or someone who says he loves me, but has no interest in understanding me as a person, wouldn't you Chloe?"

"Yeah, I would, but I hope that you're wrong about them Lo. Regardless of my feelings for Clark, I'd like them to be happy." She said truthfully.

Lois sighed heavily and nodded "Even though I'm angry with them, and I can't say I like either of them very much at the moment, I don't want them to fail. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and I do care about them, but it's you that I love, so it's you that I'm concerned about." She leant forward, reached out, clasped Chloe's hand and squeezed "Don't waste your life waiting for Clark to turn to you with his problems, or for Lana to come crying on your shoulder. Their problems are their problems and they need to learn how deal with them." When she nodded Lois smiled softly but continued, determined to get her point across "The time for childish games is over. They need to learn to turn to each other instead of away, they need to figure out how to handle their problems, and not expect you to drop everything for them. They wanted to be married well now they are, and now they need to realise that marriage is about more than just saying 'I do' in a pretty meadow full of orange blossom. I know that I've never been married, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that if two people constantly take the first exit at every hiccup in their relationship, then getting married isn't going to suddenly change their personality or give them a backbone so they'll actually work together to get them through the hard times."

"Yeah." Chloe nodded and sniffed.

Lois nodded, smiled and patted her hand "Jimmy's a nice guy. I'm not going to say he's the love of your life, or even the one. Hell Chlo you're only 19 and you've got your whole life ahead of you. I just don't want you to waste your life tending to Clark's needs; you've done enough of that already. You need to start living for yourself." She finished firmly.

"I will, and don't worry while you were unconscious I already figured out that, but I guess it was hard to give up because I always wanted him to like me." Chloe said softly.

"He does like you Chlo, just not in the way you wanted; but I know how much it hurts to want someone who doesn't want you back."

"Have you felt the same way about someone?"

"No not the same way, when I was in Junior High I liked a boy that wasn't interested and it hurt, and Ollie who left but that's different. I've never liked a guy for years like you have." Lois said softly "Maybe you wanted Clark so much because you knew he was safe."

"Safe, what'd you mean?"

"The two things you wanted most were Clark Kent and to be a Journalist, but even when he wasn't with Lana, you knew that he'd already set himself aside for her. So you could safely like him and hope that one day he'd like you back the same way, but you didn't have to worry that a teenage romance would screw you up and derail your dreams, because you knew that Clark was out of reach all along."

"You think that's why I liked him." She asked with a slight frown.

Lois nodded and crooked her lips into a smile "It could partly be the reason why. You didn't have to worry that he was going to chuck your heart into a blender and press maximum speed. He's hurt you but you've never let that stop you from reaching for the stars, and making a career for yourself. You still had the Torch, you've now got the Planet, and you didn't let your feelings for him stop you from going out with other boys."

"You make me sound cold."

"No Chloe you could never be cold sweetie, you're strong, and that's totally different." She smiled then patted her cousin's hand again "Look at Clark and Lana, at the first sign of trouble in their relationship they're all but paralysed, unsure of what to do with themselves. All they do is cry on someone's shoulder, but you keep throwing yourself into your work to ensure you reach the goals that you want. You don't let being crushed by a guy squash your spirit; and I think that's not only brave but a damn good thing. It puts you in a class above a lot of other people."

"Thanks." Chloe said wiping her eyes.

"We're a lot alike in that way, we must have gotten it from our mom's." Lois said teasingly. Chloe smiled at her cousins self praise, even though she agreed with it.

"You're going to be ok Chloe, but please sweetie do what I said. Don't waste your life waiting for Clark to call you with his newest problem. He needs to learn to deal with it himself and turn to his wife for help, and I want you to go out there and be the best damn journalist you can be. Start living for yourself, not Clark, ok?"

"Ok." She replied standing up to hug her cousin.

Lois' words had helped; after her cousin left to travel a couple of months later, she moved to Metropolis and no longer came to Smallville. She'd done just what Lois had advised her to do and put all her effort into her work; and soon she was so caught up in her career that she didn't even miss seeing Clark every day, or every week. Then one day she realised that he was no longer the boy that she dreamt of. She hadn't seen or spoken to him in months and she no longer missed him. He was someone she thought of as an old friend, one she cared about but no longer wanted for her own.

But what made her sad was that Lois had been right about something else. The next time she'd returned for a visit almost two years had passed, and it didn't take her long to note the signs of dissatisfaction in Clark or to perceive that although Lana was still devoted to him, his feelings for her had definitely cooled. From an outsiders perspective, neither appeared happy with their situation.

Three years later she came was with her cousin, and she knew just by the look at Clark's face when he saw Lois, that his mistake in marrying Lana had far bigger consequences than just being unhappy. It had been a sober reflection for her. She'd been grateful that Clark had never pursued her or been interested in her romantically. If he had, she would have married him and been happy that he was hers, and now she would be in the same boat that Lana was; married to man who was in love with another woman.

When she opened her door one day and found Clark on the other side, it didn't take her long after ushering him in to discover that he'd come for a reason. They'd sat in the lounge room, drinking wine and chatting about nothing of importance. His voice while casual and blasé was at odds with the tension in his face. His excuse of dropping by because he hadn't seen her in a while and wanted to say hello. After all the small talk had been exhausted silence fell between them, and then the real purpose of his visit was revealed. He very nonchalantly mentioned that the last time Lois had visited the farm Oliver had dropped by, then he began to indifferently pump her for information. She knew then that he'd discovered her cousin was dating Oliver so told him what he wanted to know. He'd listened silently, and afterwards asked a few questions, but although he said that he was happy they'd found each other again, the pain in his eyes couldn't be hidden.

She'd since gotten used to his dropping by for a visit, but wasn't sure if he just wanted to get away from Lana and his life for short bursts of time. Enjoyed living vicariously through her exploits about the hazards she and Lois faced being Journalist's. Wanted to find out how Lois was doing without being obvious about it, or wanted to hang onto their friendship, but felt it was a combination of all the above, with Lois topping the list.

The next time they were all altogether was at Oliver's birthday party, and if his eyes had moved from Lois, it hadn't been for long. She wanted to say something but how could she. All that would do would put them both in an uncomfortable position when he clearly didn't want to talk about it.

When she was returning from a trip to the ladies she found Clark standing near a huge potted plant, almost shading himself near the balcony door. She'd looked at his face, peered outside, saw the couple locked in a romantic embrace, and knew that she couldn't leave him there. If anyone saw him, the wretchedness on his face would leave no one in doubt that he was in love with Lois, and she didn't want him to be humiliated like that. Stepping forward, she plastered the most winsome smile she could achieve under the circumstances on her lips, slipped her hand in his and felt her heart stir with pity at the unshed tears in his eyes. She'd dredged up a light laugh to his comment then tugged him back inside and onto the dance floor, all the while hating that her friend was hurting so badly.

She hoped they would be able to resolve this situation quickly for everyone's sake. For Smallville so that he could go back to his life and the world where he was needed. For Clark so that he wouldn't have the constant reminder of his twin in his face; and for Lana. Clark's discontent with his life was clear to see if you knew him. That Lana was aware of it and trying to pretend it didn't exist was just as obvious, but it could only grow and deepen the longer Smallville was here reminding him of what could have been, which wouldn't help their marriage in the slightest.

oOo

Smallville rolled over on the couch, lifted his head and punched the pillow, shifted to face the back of the couch, turned back again and sighed deeply.

It was no use, if he got any sleep tonight it would be a miracle. Last month Lois had been taken from him and this month he'd been taken from her. He didn't know if Lana was responsible; it seemed likely but without proof not only would the accusation be unfounded, but it could potentially cause a lot of damage.

And as he'd thought earlier, if Lana was responsible, it would be the Lana from his world not this one. If it wasn't Lana at all, then he didn't know who or what could have caused it, which meant that he was in the dark on how to fix it.

All he knew was that he wanted to go home, back to Lois, back to his world; he now understood what Jo meant when she said that everyone was the same but different. Although they had tried to make Jo feel comfortable, she'd known that she didn't belong and that was how he felt now; like he didn't belong.

Last month when Jo was in Lois' body, he remembered thinking that if he'd married Lana it would have been a mistake, and one he would have regretted even more after meeting Lois again. Clark was now in that position. As he'd told his twin, if he'd known about his marriage to Lana 8 years ago he would have been jealous as hell. Remembering full well what he was like, he knew without doubt that if Lana had come to him that night, he also would have eloped with her in a heartbeat, and now he could now only feel deeply grateful for whatever stroke of luck it was that had saved him from the same fate that had befallen his twin.

It was really strange to think that 8 years ago he'd been lying on the couch in his loft, and by the simple action of a road not taken, the universe was split and two worlds were created. In one Lana returned and Clark eloped with her, in the other she married Lex. Clark had finished that night happier than he ever could have imagined, while he had gone to sleep devastated; and now 8 years later the tables were turned. He was thankful that Lana hadn't come back to him that day; and Clark was living with regret that she had.

Just as he and Lois were always meant to be together, he believed the same was true for Clark and Lois in this universe. However, as that wasn't an option here then it really did seem fitting that she was with Oliver and he sincerely hoped they were happy. Ollie was a good guy, and if he loved Lois as much as the Oliver in his own world did, then he'd do everything he could to make her happy; and Lois would do the same for him. Even before she'd loved him Lois had made him feel special, blessed. So he could state from personal experience that regardless of how deep her feelings went, Oliver would still feel happy and fortunate.

But he was sorry that Clark was grieving for what he'd lost, and he knew that his twin did grieve. Their lives had diverged 8 years ago, but they were still essentially the same person, so it was easy enough for him to know how his twin was feeling, because he would be feeling the same way. The only thing he wasn't sure about was if Lois' presence helped or hurt Clark.

He'd told Lana only a few days ago that if Lois had never loved him, he wouldn't have been able to move on either. He would have wanted to keep her close; but since he was single his reasons for that would be in the hope that one day she would be his. As Clark was married he didn't have that option, so he might be glad of only seeing her rarely. His mom said that when Clark knew he was going to see Lois, when she was around, and then gone again were the worst days, and he understood that too. First would be the anticipation of seeing her, then the thrill and pleasure of having her near, then the melancholia of when she was gone not knowing how long it would be before he saw her once again.

Oliver had told him that maybe attending his engagement party would give him closure, help him to move on. He hadn't asked his friend if it had or not, but if it did then hopefully if Lois married Oliver, Clark would also find closure. He wouldn't, Smallville knew that, but for his twin's sake he hoped that he did.

He wanted to be at home with his fiancé, but as that wasn't possible he wished that he could at least know that she was alright, and not worrying about him. He didn't know if she'd automatically believe Lana was behind his disappearance or not, but he did know that she'd do everything she could to bring him home to her.

He refused to accept that he wasn't going home, last month Lois had come back to him, but it wasn't because of anything they'd done, she'd just returned. If the Lana from his world was responsible then he hoped that just as she gave Lois back to him, that she'd allow him to return to Lois.

If she was responsible then there was no point in leaving him here forever, because even though he wouldn't be with Lois, neither would he be with her. If she also came here hoping to get him on the rebound, or to inform him that he was never leaving, never going back to Lois so he might as well make the best of things; he'd likewise inform her in no uncertain terms, that the best of things would never be the two of them together.

Sitting up, he quickly pulled on his clothes and boots before walking outside. It was dark, and he could move faster than the human eye could see. He had to go to Metropolis, had to see for himself that it wasn't their apartment anymore. He flew to where the barrier had been earlier but after putting out his hands to check and encountering only space, put on a burst of super speed and flew to Metropolis, stopping above their apartment building and x-raying down. It wasn't theirs, he'd known it already but he had to see for himself and now he had.

Only last night they were together. Only last night they'd talked and fought and nearly broken up; and now he was further from Lois than he ever had been. The thought that consumed him earlier came back once again; had his world filled in the void of his absence so Lois wasn't missing him because he'd never existed there in the first place. If that is what happened, did it mean that when he went back everything would reset itself as if he'd never been gone, or did it mean that everything that had previously been his would now be lost to him.

No. As before he refused to entertain that thought, Lois was waiting for him, more than likely she'd give him hell for scaring her, but she would be anticipating his return, just as he had been waiting for hers last month. Of course this time there was nothing in the past to connect it to. He hadn't fallen into a coma, he hadn't disappeared off the radar in an instance that couldn't be explained, and this wasn't the past; he was still in the right time just not in the right world.

He flew back to the farm and was lying on the couch a few minutes later. He wanted to go home, he wanted to return to his life, his world, his fiancé, but since that wasn't possible right now, he closed his eyes and brought Lois' face to the forefront of his mind hoping to at least find sleep.