Chapter 10

Anne walked into the English lecture hall early on Monday morning, and settled herself in a seat by the window. She looked dreamily out at the row of maple trees lining the courtyard. Their branches were already dressed in the blazing reds, oranges and yellows of autumn, and she watched the wind pick up a scarlet leaf from the nearest tree, tossing it carelessly to the ground.

As she laid out her course materials, she thought with satisfaction that life seemed to be getting back to normal once more. Interesting people to observe, the rivalry and hard work of the classroom. A beautiful home filled with friends, with loved ones near and far. Little sketches she had found herself suddenly picking up her pen for- something that had grown very rare of late. Anne had spent a happy hour sitting in the old orchard on Saturday afternoon, weaving stories that had lain dormant for months.

And of course, Gilbert. Anne felt a little trickle of happiness flow through her, warming her like summer sunshine. How had she survived without his friendship in her life? He who could make her laugh, who knew her better than anyone. Who saw all her flaws and accepted her for all of them. And the transformation in him seemed as great as her own- his teasing smile, the jests and outrageous comments that he saved for only her. She had missed his laughter. The sombre, distant stranger she had become used to had gone, replaced by the very much alive Gilbert she remembered of old.

Anne's happy musings were abruptly brought to a halt when Royal Gardner swept into the classroom. Anne felt the chill come over the atmosphere as he walked by her desk, seating himself directly in front of her. She busied herself with her notes, resolving to not be perturbed by his presence. It was his class as well as hers, she would remain calm and composed.

After a moment of quiet, Roy turned to her. His voice was polite, but his manner cold.

"Anne. It's nice to see you."

"Thank you, Roy." She returned quietly. "You too-"

"I wondered if you would do me the courtesy of meeting with me," he coolly interrupted. "I believe we have some loose ends that need to be tied up."

Anne was taken aback for a moment. "If you wish."

"I do wish. Are you free after class today?"

There was a slight pause. "Yes, I believe that will be fine."

He turned back to the front. "I will see you at Darcy's at noon."

The rest of the class entered, and Anne sank down in her chair as the seats filled, wishing bleakly for a friendly face to appear. She had known this would be coming, however, this would not make the afternoon's interview any easier. Maintaining a calm exterior cost her much concentration in the poetry class, and she reflected grimly that at this point a reading of Othello would be more conducive to cheer than the interview she now dreaded.

Two hours later Anne emerged through the courtyard of the Arts department, and almost ran into Phil and Gilbert, who stood talking animatedly near the classroom. Anne was too caught up in her anxiety to notice that the conversation stopped as soon as she appeared and that Gilbert's eyes had lit up at the sight of her.

"Anne, what's the matter?" Phil said, puzzled. When she had parted with her that morning, Anne had seemed far happier that she had been in a long time- something she had only just been saying to Gilbert.

"I have an appointment for tea right now at Darcy's. With Roy."

"Oh- oh. That appointment." Phil said, with a grimace.

Gilbert's eyebrows had shot up at the mention of Gardner's name, and he asked in a deceptively light tone- "What appointment is that?"

"The please explain one, Gilbert." Phil said impatiently. "The one where the question why is asked."

He stepped in front of Anne, and bent down to get in her eye line. Her body was stiff as a ramrod and her eyes guarded.

"Anne, you don't have to do this." he said gently.

"I think it would be best to get it over with," she said, calming slightly as she looked at him. "We have most of the year left in many of the same classes, so putting it off is unlikely to help."

Gilbert's eyes never left hers. "Phil, what are you doing right now?"

"Why, nothing, Gilbert. I don't suppose you would like to have tea at the rooms across the road from Darcy's?" Phil said wickedly.

"Yes. Yes, I would," he said in a surprised tone, and then grinned. "And then when you are finished you can come and have an appointment with us."

Anne wiped a tear from her eye, a little hysterical laugh bubbling to the surface. As good as her word, Phil pulled Anne's arm through hers and chattered merrily to her as she and Gilbert walked with her from the college entrance. Ten minutes later, they stood before the lace-draped windows of Darcy's tea rooms, and Phil reached up to smooth Anne's hair carefully.

"Just remember honey, you be as calm and regal as any bluenose could be." she said, her voice soothing.

"And you don't have to justify anything," Gilbert added quietly.

"I know; thank you both." she said to them in a low voice.

"We'll be right across the street when you're done. Come now, Gilbert." Phil said, pulling him with her as Anne turned to walk inside.

Darcy's tearooms were elegantly furnished with claw-footed tables, and velvet padded chairs in rich colours. Roy was already seated at a small table in the corner screened by palms and rose to his feet as she was seated by the attendants. Tea was silently poured into dainty cups, and trays of finely cut sandwiches suddenly appeared.

Anne made only a pretence at drinking as they sat. To her relief, Roy wished to get to the point.

"I was very surprised to receive your letter, Anne." he said, his face taut.

"I know."

"I was wondering if you would have an explanation for the unexpected change of heart you seemed to experience?" he said, his tone biting.

Anne was pale, however, she answered him quietly. "Roy, as I explained in my letter, you and I come from very different places. Different worlds, in fact. I did wonder just how much we could have in common."

Roy waved a hand, with a deceptively mild tone. "We admire poetry, art. Fine music and the English language. What more in common would we need?" he asked.

Anne took a deep breath. "It's true. And those things do make the world more beautiful. But a relationship requires more than simply having common interests."

Roy's voice was bored. "Oh really? What more is there?"

"A relationship- or even a marriage is a partnership, Roy. People who love each other, and are willing to work hard together, to grow and learn and see each other through harder times." Anne said, seeing little sign that he understood her point.

"And this we didn't have?"

Anne sighed. "Roy, you know very little about me." she floundered, trying to figure out how to explain thoughts that were still so new to herself. "I was a home child, who lived with very poor and broken families until I was sent to the orphanage. I didn't have a home or attend school regularly until I was eleven years old. In all the time you and I have been together, you never once asked me about where I came from."

"Wouldn't you have spoken up, if it honestly mattered to you? I would not have lightly brought up something that might cause you pain, Anne. And who you were is not important- it is who you are now that matters." he said impatiently.

A slight spark came to her eye then. "And yet who I used to be is extremely relevant, if you were wanting a life with me. It's part of who I am."

Roy narrowed his eyes at her. "Anne, I am not interested in all the ways that you believed I failed you. I am far more concerned with what happened just before you sent me the letter."

"Roy, I told you my reasoning," she said with a sigh. "We don't belong together, and I think you must see that. Your world is a very different place to mine, and I think I would have needed to walk away from mine to live in yours. And my world matters a great deal to me- it saved me."

Roy began to laugh bitterly. "Anne, let's not beat around the bush. This is not the first time someone has decided that I am not the one for them 'suddenly'. With the other women-"

Anne's eyebrows lifted at this comment, and Roy responded bitingly. "Yes Anne, the other women all found someone else when I wasn't around. There were two days between your letters, Anne. Two very different letters and a very big difference displayed in them."

Anne was shaking, but she held his eye steadily. "Roy, there is a book of revelation in everyone's life. I read mine in that time. There will come a time when you will have to read yours, and evaluate yourself by what you find in its pages. I need to be with someone who truly belongs in my life- and you deserve someone who belongs in yours. But I am not the woman for you, and I won't toy with your heart by pretending otherwise. You deserve better than that."

Roy's face took on a look that startled Anne, the polite façade he had always worn before her slipping.

"I don't believe this change can have been so sudden unless there were other factors involved," Roy said darkly. "You have amused yourself with me, and then thrown me aside when something better came along. So I'll ask you again- what happened in those two days?" he snapped.

Anne sat up, her eyes turning green. She stood to her feet, but her voice low.

"Roy, I have never lied to you, and I will not do so now. In those two days, I was at home. I went to my most beloved friend's wedding. I was with people who reminded me who I really was, people who know me and love me exactly as I am. It was this that made me understand why we cannot be together. I am sorry that I hurt you- and I hope one day you will understand that it was not consciously done. There is no other explanation I can give you."

She turned and walked out through the brass-rimmed doors, and outside into the bright sunshine. Roy looked around the empty tea room in dismay, thankful that at least few patrons remained to speculate and stare. In the time it took for him to settle the bill and leave the tea rooms, Anne's bright hair had already disappeared from the street.

Meanwhile, across the road, Gilbert had been watching the door to the tiny tea house for twenty long minutes. He and Phil had discussed classes, comparing algorithmic functions and Markov's theorem. While all this was very interesting, he amused himself by staring hard through Darcy's lace drapes and wondering what was happening over there.

When his voice would suddenly drop off mid-sentence, Phil watched him shrewdly. There was something going on with Gilbert and Anne- and she was going to figure it out.

Almost two and a half months since Anne broke up with Roy. And two and a half months since Anne's school friend's wedding- which she knew the two of them had attended. A proposal refused a year ago.

And no sign of Gilbert until right now.

When the silence grew noticeable, Gilbert looked back to Phil, who had an arrested look on her face.

"You're still in love with her, aren't you?" she said, her brown eyes looking at her candidly.

Gilbert looked back at her, seeing no sense in denying it. "Yes."

Phil was taken aback at the confirmation. "What of Christine Stuart?"

"She is an engaged friend," Gilbert replied calmly, folding his arms.

Phil let out a small gasp. "Did Anne know that?"

Gilbert grinned sheepishly. "She does now."

"Gilbert Blythe!" Phil said crossly. "You let the general public believe that you were with her?"

"That was just Redmond gossip. If anyone had asked me I would have told them straight." he retorted.

Phil groaned. "For Pete's sake, what is the matter with you two?" She looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Did something happen when you were both in Avonlea?"

"Yes. Something did," he said shortly. "And that's as much as you need to know."

Phil's lips thinned. "Gilbert, I care about Anne as I would a sister. I cannot handle how upset she has been lately, and unless you plan-"

"I plan to ask her to marry me again one day," he said heatedly, trying to keep his voice low. "I love her, and I never stopped. Phil, I gave up when he was on the scene, and I walked away from our friendship because I couldn't deal with the pain anymore. I stood by, hoping she would at least be happy- and you know she wasn't. And she and I both found that out this summer."

"What do you plan on doing?" Phil asked, after a few minutes to gather her thoughts.

"I plan on being the friend to her that she needs right now," Gilbert said firmly. "I am that still, and I will not ever walk away from being that again, no matter what she decides. We need each other, Phil. I know that, and she knows that."

Phil shook her head, a slow smile coming to her face. "Oh, Gilbert. You do know I will be at your wedding, don't you?" she commented.

Gilbert grinned. "I certainly hope so." The smile left his face as he turned and looked across the street. "Do you think I actually have a chance?" he asked slowly. "Does she ever talk about me?"

Phil gave him an artificial smile. "I wouldn't know." she said, in a slightly brittle voice.

Gilbert frowned. "But Phil- if you and she are so close-"

Phil gave a dry laugh. "Yes, she will talk to me readily about anything else in the world. Just not you."

Gilbert's face froze, a little shard of hurt piercing him. Phil didn't seem to notice and kept talking, her face unusually sober.

"She hasn't mentioned your name to me since the night you proposed to her. When she told me- I- said some things to her that I shouldn't have, and was very harsh with her," she said slowly, and Gilbert looked across at her in shock. "I tried to apologise the next day, and she forgave me- but she simply wouldn't discuss you with me again. In everything else, it's been fine, but she won't go near your name with me- not for the last year and a half, not even the past two weeks."

Gilbert nodded, knowing Anne well. "Well, that would do it," he said dryly.

"I'm guessing that it's too close to home for her to go there, Gilbert." Phil sighed and gave him a slight smile. "But she will be talking to someone, surely. Perhaps Diana. And I told you- she's happier that any of us have seen her in over a year. Happier, and even more scatterbrained than usual. I think on some level, even if she doesn't know it yet, that has to be about you."

Gilbert's big smile creased his handsome face, as he distractedly ruffled the brown curls on his forehead and folded his arms.

"Well Phil, if one fine day Anne does marry me, and you attend the wedding: she'll surely have to mention me at some point to you."

Phil laughed, and then saw the doors they had been watching open, and a pale Anne stood there waiting to cross the street.

"She's coming now. Gilbert, I promise I'll do anything I can to help. But you aren't allowed to rest till she's yours-" she said fiercely.

"As if I could-" he muttered.

"And I am dying of curiosity- you have to tell me what happened between you two over the summer." She pleaded.

Gilbert flushed and shook his head, but couldn't stop the grin from popping up. "Sorry, Phil. I won't tell you till she does." It was with Phil's groan that Anne finally entered, and she made her way through the room crowded with college students, and to their sides thankfully.

Later that night, Anne sat in the lounge room at Patty's Place, a book in her hands and a cup of tea beside her. Phil had yawned and put herself to bed, however Anne relaxed in front of the fire, enjoying some time by herself to think.

Phil had been a darling- when Anne entered the little dining room, she had tucked her in close to her own chair, petting and soothing her ruffled feathers. Roundly abusing Roy, and chattering animatedly to bring a smile to Anne's face. Anne looked across at her twinkling brown eyes and realised with chagrin how much she had underestimated her friend. Gilbert himself had been fairly quiet, giving her a reassuring smile whenever she looked across at him.

When the three of them were finished and were standing on the streets, Phil left them to go to the grocers to pick up things for supper that evening. Anne and Gilbert were then left to walk home in the afternoon sunshine, in a companionable silence.

Once at Patty's place, Gilbert turned to her with a compassionate look.

"Are you alright, Anne?"

She smiled. "Thanks to you and Phil, I'm perfectly fine. I am glad that I will never need to have that particular conversation again," she said, making Gilbert chuckle.

"Are you at home on Friday night?" he asked her.

"Oh, I think so. I'm sure I have no plans," she said cheerfully.

"Good. Cancel them."

"Cancel my lack of plans?"

"Yes. You can have no plans with me. We can freeze in the park, or roast by the fire. Your choice." He looked at her happy face and sighed; reluctantly pulling himself away.

"I'd better go; Professor Wheeler gave us three chapters to get through by tomorrow. And as fun as Phil is, she is a distraction in class. I'm getting behind."

Anne laughed. "Yes, someone really should have warned you about that, Gilbert."

They had been talking over the gate, overgrown with the tiny tea roses that grew on the trellis; the tangled vines getting underfoot, and the sweet, faintly spicy smell hovering over their heads. Gilbert stretched long arms above her and plucked a small cluster of flowers from the archway. He leaned across the gate between them and tucked it into her red hair with a gentleness that made her heart beat wildly. She looked at him with big grey eyes, wondering how she had never noticed the sweet little gestures he had always lavished on her. He grinned at her then and tweaked her nose, and strode off down Spofford Avenue whistling. Anne watched him until he disappeared around the bend, and turned to go inside with an odd little smile.

Now, snuggled deeply into her favourite chair with the firelight flickering, Anne gave a contented sigh. Friday night was only a few days away, and she herself needed to catch up with some reading before then. She pulled the little flowers out of her hair with a smile, tracing the shell pink petals tenderly. Calmness and peace and friendship had returned to her life once more; and as she lifted the flowers to her nose, she smiled. Maybe some things weren't impossible after all.