Stargate Command
Colorado Springs, CO

As soon as the nurse went back to her station Jack started to remove all the blankets they'd piled atop of him. Doctor Carmichael had insisted on getting him additional treatment for his severe hypothermia but Jack was pretty sure he was back to normal, or at least close enough for him to get out of that damn bed. He'd been on his feet for over two hours, including a firefight with a bunch of Jaffa, and he hadn't dropped dead yet, so he really doubted his condition would get worse now that he was finally back at the SGC. The time in the dome had also warmed him up considerably, not just because of the warmer temperatures but also his exertion and the panicking over Carter's condition. Even Carmichael had had to admit his core temperature was good enough and his blood pressure seemed to have stabilized as well.

Jack didn't have the patience to lie around in bed while Doctor Warner was operating on Carter only a few feet down the corridor. Realistically, he knew it wouldn't make any difference as to where he was while she was in the OR, but he wanted to be there in the hallway the moment Warner came out, instead of having to rely on someone coming down to tell him any news in person. Besides, he didn't want to disturb any of the other patients, among them Conner, Ferretti and Doctor Danmark who were all still recuperating from the mission too. When he, SG-3, SG-1 and Doc Brightman had returned from Voarios and undergone their post-mission exams they had woken up many of their colleagues, most of whom were exhausted and in pain and needed their sleep.

He grimaced when he had finally escaped the layers of blankets and the cool air hit his bare legs; the nurses had taken his clothes away, probably hoping to keep him bed-bound when wearing nothing but a hospital gown and skivvies. However, Jack had spent far too much time in the infirmary these past eight years to not know where he could get a pair of scrubs and slipped out of bed, taking a moment to steady himself by grabbing his IV pole and making his way to the supply closet. He decided against taking off the gown as it would require removing his IV and inserting it again, which could leave a bit of a mess or at least give the nurses enough time to locate him, and simply put on some scrub pants and grabbed a warm blanket just in case.

For a moment he feared someone might rat him out but all the patients appeared to still be asleep and the only nurses between him and the exit were huddled together while going over someone's file. Doctor Carmichael was nowhere to be seen so he took his chance and snuck out. The floor was cold to his bare feet but he ignored it and tried to move as soundlessly as possible with the darn IV pole in tow. He didn't want to abandon it as he knew he needed the meds – his head was already throbbing and his newly wrapped ribs ached with every deep breath or sigh. He made it into the corridor without anyone apparently noticing and smirked to himself, straightening a little as he made his way to where he suspected Daniel and Teal'c were already waiting.

Jack only encountered a few SFs who did their best not to look surprised at the base commander walking around the base on bare feet, wearing a hospital gown and scrub pants with a blanket draped around him and pulling an IV pole along – he just gave them a cursory nod in greeting. The hallway leading to the OR was just around the corner and about the closest thing one could get to without entering the OR, but he was already beginning to feel the strain of his injuries. The adrenalin had clearly left his system and now that they had left the battlefield behind, exhaustion was creeping up on him and he knew it was due to getting Carter to safety and in the best possible hands. Just a few more steps…

By the time he laid eyes on Daniel and Teal'c, both seated and looking anxious, he was ready to collapse so he plopped himself down on one of the empty chairs. The movement jarred his ribs but he paid them no mind and instead turned to his friends. "Any word yet?"

"Nothing has transpired since Doctor Warner took Colonel Carter into surgery, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"But that was over two hours ago," Jack complained, scowling at the door at the end of the corridor.

Daniel shrugged and cast a glance at his watch. "Almost three hours, actually." He sounded faintly surprised at how much time had passed and crossed his arms, hunching over slightly. "That's good, right? I mean, Janet was just… gone. At least we know Sam is still hanging in there."

"For now."

"Don't be so morbid, Jack!"

He couldn't help himself, though. His mind kept conjuring up the worst possible scenarios after seeing Brightman work on the gaping hole in Carter's abdomen before the medics loaded her unconscious form onto a gurney! God, she had been so pale and lifeless! When he closed his eyes he could still feel her thready pulse where his fingers had rested on her clammy skin and how the strength had left the hand that had been holding his in a death grip when she lost consciousness. Her strangled cry of pain was still ringing in his ears… Shaking himself, Jack let out a deep breath as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm just being realistic, Daniel. You barely looked at her but I saw the damage that staff blast did – all the way down to her insides, for crying out loud!"

"Colonel Carter is a strong warrior and she has much to live for," Teal'c said solemnly, his voice steady but his concern was audible to those who knew him well.

"So did Fraiser," Jack muttered as he stared at the floor. "Didn't help her much."

There was a moment of silence as they all took in his words. "Oh God, what about Cassandra," Daniel said softly, "if Sam doesn't…"

Jack grimaced, the thought already having crossed his mind on the battlefield as he tried to keep Carter alive. How was he supposed to look the alien girl in the eye and tell her what had happened to Carter, just a year after the Doc had been killed in similar circumstances? If Carter died, Cassie wouldn't have a mother figure left and it was all his fault! If he hadn't been so eager to go off-world again…

"Doctor Warner is a skilled surgeon and he will ensure Colonel Carter survives."

"That doesn't mean Cassandra won't be affected by this, though," Daniel said, looking at the Jaffa.

"She should have been wearing her damn vest," Jack muttered to himself. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he glanced up at his friends and spoke up. "Why the hell wasn't she wearing her vest? Now she might die because she didn't have her vest insert on! If she'd been wearing the damn thing then she wouldn't be in there right now!"

Teal'c reached out and grabbed his shoulder, pushing him back down in his seat to prevent him from getting up. "We do not know that for certain, O'Neill. Was it not you who pointed out its flaws after Doctor Fraiser's death?"

"He's right," Daniel said, "we have no way of knowing whether Sam would have been fine or not if she'd been wearing her vest insert. None of us were wearing our vests. You weren't wearing your vest, Jack!"

In the back of his mind Jack knew he was being irrational and the frown on his friend's face told him he felt the same way but still he went on. "Yeah well, if you remember I was hardly in good shape on that planet. Someone should have thought about those damn vests."

"Right, so it's Sam's fault she's dying in that OR right now? After all, she was in command of the mission. Or maybe you'd prefer to blame Colonel Reynolds for not ordering us to wear our vests before leaving the cave this morning?"

"Of course not," he said angrily, "I-"

Daniel ignored his reply and simply continued. "There was a good reason we didn't wear vests or the inserts; we could barely move in those bulky outfits!"

"It would not have been tactical to wear them," Teal'c added solemnly.

"Exactly," the archeologist said, waving his finger as if to emphasize the point made. "We would have to take off our parkas to be able to use the radio and everything else attached to the vest! Not to mention how much more difficult it would be to move around with the vest beneath the anorak – we probably wouldn't have been able to evade those Jaffa with such limited movement!"

Jack glared at him and gestured in the direction of the OR. "Well, Carter still didn't manage to evade their staff blasts, now did she?"

"Oh, so you would rather we all would have risked getting injured or killed by wearing the vests?" Daniel's voice had risen an octave and he was clearly agitated but forced to remain seated by his injured knee. "With a vest on Sam could have been injured even worse!"

"The vests combined with the foul-weather gear would have slowed us down tremendously, O'Neill. We would have been much easier targets for the enemy and there is no guarantee Colonel Carter would have remained unharmed wearing one."

The conviction with which Teal'c spoke penetrated Jack's irrational thoughts and after taking a deep breath, he went over their arguments again in his head and could almost hear Carter chime in, mention something about probabilities and basically tell him he knew she was right in that way she had while still managing to sound respectful of his rank. Realistically, he knew the vest inserts had been improved since their introduction and the death of Doc Fraiser, but those changes and the addition of a back panel also meant the vests were bulkier nowadays. They offered more protection and while the extra weight was negligent, they could hinder the wearer when they had to move fast, especially when also wearing a heavy pack – or in this case, bulky gear. Glancing at his friends, he gave a reluctant nod to let them know they were right and turned his thoughts back inwards.

If the damn vest or lack thereof wasn't responsible for Carter lying in that OR then there was only one reason: him.

Jack grimaced as he realized it all came down to him; if he hadn't let his guard down during the festivities then the Jaffa wouldn't have had the element of surprise – let alone gotten the upper hand in the ensuing fight. In retrospect it was clear he should have listened to Carter before going off-world and taken an extra team with him, just to be on the safe side but he had been too excited to go through the 'gate again. He'd figured more than one team for backup as CO of SG-1 had been enough and nothing had changed now that he was the base commander… except Grogan, Mansfield and now Carter ended up paying the price for his stubbornness and pride!

"Sam is going to be fine," Daniel said, interrupting his train of thought, "you'll see."

The statement would have been reassuring if it hadn't been said in such a hopeful tone or, Jack decided as he glanced in his friend's direction, with such a worried expression. Teal'c wasn't faring much better; he wasn't visibly injured or bandaged up, but upon closer examination the concern on the Jaffa's face was plain to see for those who knew him. "They've been in there for over three hours," Jack needlessly reminded his friends. He clenched his fists as the image of the gaping hole in Carter's abdomen came to his mind unbidden and all he could think of was the damage done to her and how pale she'd looked on that planet. How could Warner even start to fix that mess? It wasn't as if the man had a magic wand he could wave around to magically restore her back to health…

Jack scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to calm down, but the gesture only reminded him of Carter's injuries as he spotted traces of dried blood on his skin. Damn, he should have washed his hands. The nurses had taken his dirty clothes away but he'd been so focused on Carter that he hadn't even thought to clean himself up before slipping out of the infirmary. Unable to look away, he scowled at his hands as he turned them over and studied the blood in morbid fascination. Carter's blood. All of a sudden, he wanted it gone and started to furiously rub at the skin, ignoring the pain shooting up from where his IV entered the back of his hand.

"Jack," Daniel suddenly reached out and grabbed his hands. "Jack, stop it. You'll hurt yourself."

Looking up, he realized his friend had moved closer and was looking at him with concern in his eyes. Blue eyes, like Carter. "It's her blood," he whispered, glancing back at his hands.

"I know, but if you keep it up you'll either rip out your IV or damage your hand – maybe both."

"I don't care," he snapped, pulling away and resorting to using his nails to scrape off the dried blood.

A moment of tense silence descended upon the corridor with the only sound being the rubbing of skin and scraping of nails, until Teal'c spoke up.

"You are not responsible for what transpired on Voarios or Colonel Carter's current condition, O'Neill."

Jack's head snapped up at the statement and for a moment he just stared unbelievingly at the Jaffa. "Of course I am! It was my mission and I screwed it up. She was only there to save my sorry ass! If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have a hole the size of a baseball glove in her stomach right now!"

"Technically, we were all there to retrieve you, Ferretti and SG-9." Daniel shrugged when he glared at him and raised his hands defensively. "I'm just saying, it wasn't all about you…"

"Gee, thanks for reminding me, because I'd almost forgotten Grogan and Mansfield died and Ferretti, Conner and Doctor Danmark are still recuperating in the infirmary," he said sarcastically. "Christ Daniel, I almost got all of SG-9 killed!"

The archeologist was quiet then but Teal'c slowly and purposely unfolded his large frame from his chair and came to stand in front of him. "You saved the lives of three of our own from an unexpected attack by a previously unknown enemy, O'Neill. You did all you could to keep them safe and you succeeded in bringing them home relatively unharmed."

"'Relatively unharmed'," Jack muttered to himself, refusing to look up at his friend. "Ferretti's got a broken leg that will take weeks if not months to heal, Conner is barely stable and Danmark nearly lost her arm from that death glider attack!" Angry, he pushed to his feet and waved wildly in the direction of the OR, heedless of his blanket dropping to the floor or the pain in ribs. "And Carter might not make it! If I hadn't been there, she wouldn't have gotten shot!"

Teal'c clasped his shoulder in a reassuring manner and looked him in the eye. "Had you not been there, all of SG-9 and Colonel Ferretti might have perished."

"Not to mention the Voari would have all been killed," Daniel added.

He huffed but let the Jaffa push him back into his seat as he became aware of his aching ribs and glanced at his two friends once he was seated. "We don't even know if any Voari survived. They didn't want to leave the dome with us."

Daniel reached out and handed him his fallen blanket. "At least you tried. Who knows, some may have been able to escape the domed city before the transport system was destroyed. We'll know more once HWS gives permission to send a couple of teams back to the planet…"

"Regardless of the fate of the Voari, Colonel Carter would have mounted a rescue mission when you and SG-9 failed to return home," Teal'c said. "Had you not been there, she would still have insisted on retrieving the team and Colonel Ferretti."

Jack sighed, recognizing the certainty in both his friends even if he did not feel the same. They could tell him all day long that none of this was his fault but that didn't mean it was true; he was all too familiar with the darkness gnawing at his heart to not recognize it as guilt. Guilt over his irresponsibility and inability to bring all his people home unharmed. Guilt over nearly getting her killed. That should have been him in the OR, not her. She was supposed to get married in a couple of weeks and get the normal life she deserved after everything she'd done the past eight years, but instead she was fighting for her life on a cold table after getting hit by a stray staff blast!

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps and hope flared briefly, until he realized they were coming from the other direction. After a few seconds the person to whom the footsteps belonged turned the corner and Jack winced when he recognized Doctor Brightman. Had she come here to chase him back to the infirmary? Upon closer examination he realized she didn't have her doctor's coat on and was still wearing her rumpled BDUs on from their recent mission. As a matter of fact, there wasn't anything suggesting she was on duty at the moment which made him relax slightly – at least she couldn't use her position as acting CMO to order him back. "Doc."

"General O'Neill," she replied. Her eyes narrowed in disapproval as she took in his appearance, her gaze lingering on the IV pole before she glanced at Daniel's leg and shook her head. "Doctor Jackson, I believe you weren't supposed to walk around with that leg of yours."

Daniel blushed and, subconsciously, placed his hand on his knee and rubbed it absentmindedly. "Technically, I was told to get plenty of rest and keep my weight off the knee. They didn't tell me where."

"Doctor Brightman," Teal'c said, pre-empting her reply, "how are you faring?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Yeah, you don't look so hot, Doc," Jack said simultaneously, noticing the wariness radiating off her. "Take a load off."

She held her tongue and reluctantly sat down on the chair he indicated, obviously assuming it was more of an order than a suggestion. "Changing the subject won't make me forget that you and Doctor Jackson aren't supposed to be here, Sir."

He briefly patted her shoulder before leaning back in his chair. "Hey, you did a good job and got all of us back alive, now it's time to relax and get some rest. No offense, but you look awful."

"Thank you, Sir." She appeared pleased with the compliment and ignored the comment about her appearance, studying him from the corner of her eye. "You were the one who got us back safely, though. Sir."

Jack snorted in disbelief. "You, Carter and the boys," he referred to his former teammates as well as SG-3, "saved our sixes on that planet. If it hadn't been for you, Conner and I'd be popsicles by now and Ferretti and Danmark probably wouldn't be doing any better. Then you risked your neck again to retrieve SG-1 and me the next day, even though you barely have any field experience – and if you hadn't come, Carter wouldn't still be alive…"

Brightman pushed a stray lock of hair out of her face and glanced in the direction of the OR. "You kept Colonel Carter alive until I could tend to her, Sir. If it weren't for you, Doctor Jackson, Mister Teal'c and SG-3 fighting off the enemy none of us would be sitting here right now, regardless of how well I patched you guys up out there."

"O'Neill is correct; you handled yourself well in the face of battle, Doctor Brightman," Teal'c spoke up, nodding at her in respect.

"You're both right," Daniel said, before grimacing and making a vague hand gesture. "All three of you are right. Jack got us out safely, Sam wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Doctor Brightman and you also did very well for someone who'd never gotten into a firefight before, Doctor."

A small smile graced the woman's lips for a moment but it was soon replaced with her professional mask again. "Doctor Warner will do everything he can to save Colonel Carter," she said, before eyeing their respective injuries. "In the meantime, you should probably all get some rest – bed rest, either in the infirmary or your personal quarters."

"I have no need to rest and shall remain here."

"Mister Teal'c, you have been on a very demanding mission which must have exhausted you both physically and mentally considering these were your friends whose lives were in danger. Even if you don't feel like sleeping, your body needs to rest now that you no longer have your symbiote."

He raised one brow and regarded her for a few tense seconds, after which he inclined his head. "Very well, Doctor Brightman. I will perform kelno'reem in my seat while awaiting news of Colonel Carter's condition."

"You think maybe you should follow your own advice?" Jack asked, gesturing at the Doctor's rumpled clothes and drawn features. "If this mission was enough to wear out Teal'c, then you'll probably keel over in an hour or two from exhaustion, Doc."

She smiled gently and rose from her chair, as if hoping to lead by example – and it worked, as Daniel got up too with a bit of effort. "It'll take while until someone can give you an update on the Colonel's status, Sir. You might as well hit the sack."

He waved off her 'suggestion' and jerked his head in Teal'c's direction. "Nah, I'm with him. I'll just meditate or something, okay Doc?" He could tell from the eye roll his answer elicited that she didn't take him seriously but at least she didn't look like she'd try to order him either. "You go, Daniel. Those knee injuries are a bitch. Better follow the medical advice or it'll remain a weak spot and you'll end up needing surgery. Teal'c and I will call as soon as we know anything."

"Sir…"

"Go, get some rest, Doc." She appeared to be indecisive but he could see Daniel relenting – which meant the pain had to be worse than the archeologist had pretended – from the corner of his eye as he limped away and made a shoo gesture at the CMO. "Go on. We'll be needing your expertise soon enough around here, so you better catch some shuteye while you still can. That adrenaline rush has probably worn off by now and you should know what that means."

Brightman grimaced and glanced at the two of them, as if contemplating whether it was a good idea to leave them in the corridor. "At least keep an eye on your IV and get a new bag if necessary, Sir. And use that blanket to cover yourself properly because you'll need the warmth if you're going to stay here. Both of you should eat something too. Call an airman to bring down food if necessary."

Jack thought she was becoming more and more like Fraiser with every day and nodded in agreement, a small wistful smile playing around his lips at the thought of their late friend. It wouldn't be fair if they had to lose Carter the same way they'd lost Janet Fraiser and he balled his fists at the injustice of it all. "Doc?" He called out just as she was about to turn around.

"Sir?"

"Do you…" He paused, unsure whether he should voice his doubts and insecurities. Teal'c's hand coming to rest on his shoulder in silent support let him know it was all right, though. "Do you think… Carter will make it?"

Doctor Brightman looked taken aback by his question but her reply told him they'd chosen the right woman to take over from Frasier as CMO. "I'm not going to lie, Sir: there was a lot of damage from that staff blast and it will probably be touch and go, but Colonel Carter is very strong and she's made it this far… stranger things have happened around here. Just keep in mind that the surgery will likely take a few more hours."

"Thanks, Doc," Jack said as he mentally prepared himself to sit there all night and longer, if necessary.

In the early morning hours Daniel joined them again, bringing some food and coffee with him and they ate in silence. There had been one update a couple of hours earlier but basically all the nurse had told them was that Carter was still hanging in there for the moment. No one had come out since then, so Jack assumed that was a good sign. Walter had dropped by at the start of his shift to update him on all kinds of things, none of which had really registered with Jack. Colonel Raimi had been to see him earlier too, informing him that HWS had given permission for a couple of teams to return to the planet to retrieve the sleds, snowmobiles and the bodies of Grogan and Mansfield as well as doing a recon of the domed city. Jack had given him his okay and suggested a few teams, even though he was officially on medical leave and Raimi was still in charge.

Reynolds had also stopped by at some point to ask after Carter before going back to the infirmary to check on the remaining members of SG-9 and Penhall, whose arm had been injured during the attack. Some others had come for updates too but Jack had let Teal'c handle them, pretending to meditate or be asleep in his chair.

At least Daniel looked a little better this morning and his limp was less pronounced as well. The archeologist even said the injury he'd received in the mini avalanche separating him and T from Carter and Jack himself barely bothered him, but Jack figured that was the painkiller talking. The infirmary had both of them on the good stuff for their respective injuries, although Jack was pretty sure Daniel had taken them willingly – one of the medical staff had snuck in in the middle of the night and changed Jack's IV bag when he'd been resting his eyes.

They'd just finished up their breakfast when a boisterous SG-3 rounded the corner and took a seat. "General, Doctor Jackson, Teal'c," Reynolds greeted them, nodding at each of them as he said their names. "Any news on Carter?"

"We have received no new information since you last inquired, Colonel Reynolds," Teal'c said.

"That's too bad," he replied with a grimace.

Jack nodded in agreement, even though he suspected no news was good news in Carter's case. He eyed the other three men who all seemed to share their CO's opinion, his gaze lingering on Penhall's bandage. "How's the arm?"

"Just a flesh wound, Sir. Nothing to worry about."

Daniel shook his head in disapproval of the belittling of the injury but kept his thoughts to himself and instead gestured in the direction of the infirmary. "Do you happen to know how SG-9 and Ferretti are doing?"

Reynolds shifted in his chair and made himself comfortable. "Carmichael said Conner is improving, Ferretti was already cracking jokes and said he'll be back on rotation in a couple of months after PT and Doctor Danmark said she was doing well, although she might need to have surgery to transplant some skin to the burn wound on her shoulder." He winced at the latter before visibly forcing himself to relax and continue. "The teams are still on Voarios searching the dome for lingering enemies and surviving Voari. Their next check-in is in a couple of hours, I believe."

"Thanks," Jack said, appreciating the update. "M-"

"I believe someone is approaching," Teal'c said, interrupting him, his gaze locked on the doors leading to the OR.

Jack's heart rate went up at the news and his breath hitched, wondering whether it would be good or bad news. When the doors opened he forced himself to breathe normally and unclench his fists, his eyes searching for familiar features under the mask and scrub hat of the person approaching. It was only when the mask was pulled away that he recognized Doctor Warner and he was on his feet and approaching the surgeon without a second thought. "Doc?"

Warner stopped in front of him, hand scrubbing over his face but he didn't appear to be tense or fearing for his life for failing to save a national treasure and his reply confirmed it. "We've managed to stop the bleeding and repair most of the damage Colonel Carter sustained from the staff blast. We've closed her up and moved her to recovery, but it's really a toss-up as to what happens next, General."

"But she's alive?!"

"Yes, for now," the surgeon said. "She hasn't stabilized yet so we will be monitoring her very closely, but the next couple of hours are going to be crucial."

Jack sagged with relief, his hold on his IV pole the only thing keeping him on his feet and behind him he could hear excited chattering. "Thank God," he muttered.

Daniel came up next to him on his crutches and looked equally relieved. "Sam will pull through. I told you she was strong."

"She's certainly a fighter," Warner agreed.

"What about… lasting damage?" Jack asked, his voice lowered so SG-3 wouldn't overhear. Not everyone needed to know the details of Carter's condition but he had seen the damage with his own two eyes and considering it had taken Warner and his team almost ten hours to fix her…

The doctor shrugged noncommittally, being his usual cautious self. "It will depend on what will happen the next few hours but if Colonel Carter makes it to tomorrow, I'll be far more optimistic. The way it looks now is that if she hangs in there, she'll face a lengthy recovery and possibly more surgeries depending on how the burn wounds and some of her internal injuries heal."

"Can we see her?" Daniel asked, voicing Jack's next question.

"Under normal circumstances I would say no, but I guess there's no harm in watching her from the observation deck. At the moment we just can't risk you sitting at her bedside."

Jack had expected as much from their previous dealings with Warner and, well, SOP for such surgeries in the infirmary really, but he was pleasantly surprised the man had thought about the observation deck. To his embarrassment, he nearly collapsed to the floor when he turned around too quickly in his haste to see Carter but fortunately Teal'c was at his side, grasping his elbow and keeping him upright. "Thanks, T."

"You are welcome, O'Neill. It would do no one any good if you injured yourself now, least of all Colonel Carter."

He huffed but let his friend support him as Warner led them out of the corridor and towards the observation deck. It seemed to take forever until they got there, not in the least because of how weak and tired Jack was suddenly feeling but finally they arrived and he got his first glimpse of Carter. She was incredibly pale and nearly as white as the sheets surrounding her but according to the slow rise and fall of her chest – and the beeps on the monitor – she was alive, even if she looked frail and was surrounding by wires and machinery.