I really loved this episode. I really did. We learnt where Mini's bitchy side came from, the apple didn't fall far from the tree. I mean that in a good way too, there's a lot of love in the McGuinness women. They just don't find it easy to show it. Who could blame them?

Alo, my little darling, don't worry. Remember the good times. They're wonderful to write. See below :-P

Now, sentimentality done, there will be a slight change of layout this week, in honour of Mini's episode. It was difficult writing this, not really because of what happened, but because of life being a bit stressy and too real to ignore. Not going to touch the whole father, assistant stuff too much, not here anyway. No beginning section this week, instead we're starting where we're going to end. But the last section harks back to what I've already written for Chapter 2, hopefully it should work out of context though. Enjoy :-)

By the way, I absolutely love how something has worked out. I'm psychic, peeps, I tell you. I didn't ever imagine condom costumes though lol.

How could pee on a stick make the world so much bigger, smaller, frightening and indifferent? Or a piece of paper with only a handful of words on it?

Mini didn't get it. She didn't get it at all. And she didn't... she couldn't... she...

"I don't think you know how to love anything."

That she got. She couldn't help it. She understood. It was Alo. Of course she got why he was so tired. Why he was done. Why he was giving up. Never mind that everyone else had. Never mind why everyone else had. She understood why he was giving up.

She had no words, no thoughts, no feelings. Not yet. She was just standing at the edge of the storm, unaffected yet. Even though the lightening had already struck.

A dramatic voice told her everything had gone to hell. Truth was, she wasn't in hell. This was purgatory. As she sat in the barn, mud all over her shoes, she stared out into the outside, where things looked beautiful in the grey light.

Purgatory was nowhere.

Oh fuck... oh fuck... she felt so fucking good...

It couldn't possibly be that sex was always this good. If it was this good with everyone, anyone, monogamy would not exist. It clearly existed because it could only be this good like this. Okay, maybe not like this in a bloody toilet cubicle, but with her... Oh fuck, it really was good. It really, really fucking was...

So he said it. It wasn't the kind of thing you should have to think about first. Which is why he smiled as he said it. How could he not smile? It was true, and it was amazing.

"Mini, I love you."

The look on her face changed a lot. He prayed to God, to anything that was merciful in the universe, that he wasn't deluding himself when he thought he saw the faintest, tiniest moment in her face when she didn't freak out, something that looked like awe. Even if he was right though, he'd fucked it up. It didn't matter what expression she pulled; he was still in her, for Christ's sake, he was definitely close enough to feel her freeze. 'Oh shit' indeed.

A tiny voice told him to be angry when she struggled away from him. Angry because she should have said it back, because it shouldn't have upset her. Instead all he cared about was that he had upset her.

It was Mini anyway. If she honestly wanted to tell him she loved him, she wouldn't tell him with words. In the world of Mini, words meant fuck all. In Alo's, words were far more honest and meaningful. Sex lay somewhere in-between.

She was quite content being there, somewhere in-between. "Jesus, Farm Boy, talk about ruining the mood!"

Okay, well... the mood was ruined, okay. So... fuck it, he needed to say it, he needed to be honest for once instead of shutting the fuck up. "Look, I think, I do though. I think I fucking love you."

She was pulling her clothes back on, anger venting out of her like steam. "You love fucking me, Alo, it's different," she countered, and then made for the door. No, fuck sake, this wasn't over, this wasn't fucking over.

Then Liv interrupted it all. Fuck sake.

She wasn't getting out of this so easily.

"I was making that for Grace."

It was the first thing she said after she kicked Eric out of her room, after she informed Alo of his sleeping arrangements. It was odd. She just clapped eyes on it again during the uncomfortable silence that followed, and felt like saying it. He looked at her utterly confused for a moment, realised what she was looking at, and wisely stayed silent. "When Liv and I went to see her at the hospital and they kicked us out, we brainstormed ideas of what to do for her to help her get better. Rich finished the song for her, Liv and I started a photo album for her to look at when she woke up."

Silence descended again. He reached out his arm for her, and without even thinking about it she sat next to him on the bed where he had gestured, rested her head against his shoulder, let him pull her gently towards him. Thankfully, he didn't say anything about it. He knew already that Mini didn't really want to talk about Grace, that that was something so stormy it wasn't even about self-preservation to let her do with it as she wanted right now. Besides, he had other things on his mind. Maybe now that Megabitch had left, it was better timing.

"Mini, I know you don't want to talk about..." he trailed off, gestured between the two of them, knowing that 'us' was one of Mini's forbidden words. She kept quiet, which meant she was listening. "This isn't just about loving the fucking. Maybe I'm wrong, and the L word doesn't really apply but..." He trailed off again, this time because he didn't know what to say. Or rather, he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say. There were a lot of things he wanted to say. "I'm not going anywhere, Mini. I'm here. I'm not interested in anyone else, and I know - I know - that you're not either. So when it's just..." he gestured between them again. "Can we not head-fuck as much? Not when it's just us."

This time no gesturing. She peered up at him from his shoulder. She didn't really know what to say about that. Other than... "Okay."

He blinked at her, surprised at how easy that turned out to be. "Really?" She nodded. "Oh. Great! Agreed."

"Agreed." She suddenly started giggling. "Alo?"

"Hmmm?"

"Some normal fucking would be great right now."

He started chuckling, but it got smothered by her seizing his head and kissing him. This time he didn't stop her pushing him on to the bed. He even started running his hands up her thighs to start pulling her dress off. Oh God he lov -

There was a bloody knock at the bloody door. "Mini?"

They both froze. What the fuck?

"Your tea's getting cold."

She glared at the door so forcefully it was a marvel it didn't burst into flame. Alo was just very bewildered. This was meant to be seal-the-deal-sex of a very different type than the phrase usually suggests. Why was Eric ruining that for him? Not cool. Not cool at all.

"Alo, are you joining us for tea too?"

Flustered, Alo looked up at Mini, who was sat in his lap, dress bunched up around her hips, stock still exactly in a very good spot. This was a bit bizarre. Normally he looked at her for signs that no, that wasn't a good idea. Instead, her face openly waited for him to make up his own mind. "Uhh... yeah, sure," he stammered out, waiting for Mini to get cross. She didn't. "That'd be nice, thank you."

"Alright, I'll dish up another plate." There was a pause. "It's on the table." Another pause. Then, finally, they heard his footsteps on the stairs.

Mini's head fell onto Alo's shoulder again, exasperated, and groaned irritably. She felt him grin, rubbed her back soothingly. "Think we've got time for a quickie?"

He chuckled. "Oh, if only." He felt her grin too, and he kissed her skin. "Come on, before he walks in again."

Mini groaned again, but slowly stood up, pulled her dress back down and led the way, Alo following behind her.

If he'd know that that would be their last night happy together, he might have done things differently. They might have had that quickie, for instance.

If he could, he wouldn't change a thing though.

Eric made a mean bangers and mash. Even Mini had eaten it, after glaring at it as though it were dog food for a minute, and then she hadn't a bad word to say about it after. She'd even helped herself to Alo's seconds. Alo wasn't much of a sport fan, but it was interesting listening to Eric just ramble. His rambles were mostly on the beautiful game - rugby, to clarify - to comparing his experiences with the ones Nick had described. He seemed a good man, like a laid-back gentle giant. He'd probably make a good step-dad, even though Mini had spent the whole time looking a little sour and pseudo-bored. Shame. He seemed a nicer guy than her actual father. He certainly seemed a bit more caring. And present.

They ended up awkwardly chatting over the TV. That is, Alo and Eric did. Mini sat next to Alo, his arm round her shoulders, pretending to listen to the TV. But he could still feel her smothering down giggles when Eric said something funny. Shelly got back home, which meant Mini froze up, her temper flaring quickly. Thankfully he didn't have to witness that for long; Shelly soon disappeared with Eric. The TV could not have been turned up high enough.

Why is it that listening to grown-ups having sex is a major, major turn off?

So, for once, he actually did end up sleeping on the floor. They went up, and he made her giggle by teasing her about the mess he made when she pushed him off the bed earlier as they got the spare mattress out for him, grabbed spare bedlinen. He just buzzed, making as much noise as possible, just to distract her from the creaking bedsprings, making her happier. Then they brushed their teeth, she got changed into her little nightie-negligee-thingy, and they just carried on chatting. Not really about anything in particularly. Just stuff. Normal stuff. Stuff that happy people talk about.

She told him about the idea of the photo album she and Liv created. All of their favourite photos from the many, many adventures of the Bitches. Antics at school. Summer holidays. Nights out. And the group over the last year. Grace's dance recital. Pics from the Fashion Shoot, all of Grace and Franky's amazing creations. The after party, when Grace had finally got together with Rich, way back before the Justin Bieber haircut. Getting stoned at Liv's house. Drawing all over Alo's face at his surprise birthday party whilst stuffing his face with Rich's disastrous vol-au-vents. All of them geared up for Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. The not-wedding-reception, the boys all in their silly suits.

All very, very odd, even painful memories for all of them, except for Grace. After so long of conforming to the rules set by Mini the Megabitch, way back before college, Grace had become her own girl, had worked hard for the things she wanted, had believed in happy endings, and so deserved them when they came to pass. Silly girl almost got married after all.

"She looks happy."

Mini envied her. It was so monumentally stupid, considering how things had turned out, but she did. Grace had never had to deal with what lay in Mini's drawer. She turned over, feeling somber, peered down at Alo, tried to dig up something she wanted to say. But she still couldn't talk, not to anyone. Like she'd told Liv, not without her.

"Mini... I miss her too."

It stung, making her shut her eyes. He'd said what she wanted to say. But it didn't unlock anything, and she remained mute. So she turned off the light, and tried to sleep. But her grip on her covers didn't relax. She suddenly wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. Everything was so locked away. Then she felt his hand fumble in the dark, looking for hers, and she slipped out of her bed to curl into his side, not able to see him but sense powerfully through the dark how close he was. His arm wrapped round her, found the knots in her back, gently started kneading them out, making her sigh with relief.

She wouldn't remember falling asleep. Alo would. He would remember thinking that all was right with the world.

Later, he would wonder whether he was just being naive, or whether things all changed from that point on to FUBAR. He would tell himself for a long time that it was the former, and he was an idiot to think that Mini could possibly have felt happy at that point.

Sadly, it was neither. The things that did change already had. They just didn't matter at that point.

But it was those changes that got him kicked out so unceremoniously in the morning. And he was naive to believe that it was just Mini being Megabitch again.

Who knows, things would probably have turned out very differently if Mini had shown Alo the contents of that drawer that morning. Who's to say he would have reacted any better than she did? They were kids. Kids aren't meant to deal with that just yet. Even grown ups fail to deal with that.

Mothers and fathers aren't born at conception.

It could have been any time. They were such fucking idiots. Years of Sex Education had turned out to be a bit useless. They don't exactly tell you what to do when you're out of condoms and you're far too horny to be sensible. When you knew how fucking amazeballs it would be. How to find a way of not taking the morning-after pill too many times because you can't bear for the people at the pharmacy counter to start recognising you. What to do when forgetting became habit.

Mini could think a little about the stuff before it. The causes, so to speak. They were in the past. Alo was still in the present. But the future...

Yeah, not going there.

She shouldn't have chucked him out that morning. That was mean. It wasn't his fault she freaked out. Well, it was his fault, it was his sperm after all, but he didn't choose today of all days to consider telling him about the tests. But the thought of it... it scared her too much. She couldn't even process that fear into thought.

So she went from waking up feeling completely happy, playing with his hair as he slept serenely, to blindly angry, 'blindly' being the key word. She regretted it as she heard him finally give up trying to whisper sense into her through the door and stomp down the stairs to the front door. She considered going after him, apologising, telling him after all. But she didn't. She did send him a text though: sorry Eric's slop last night hasn't sat very well, bad tummy making me feel grrr today, not pleasant sight. It took her half an hour to debate whether to say more, or just send. Then it took another half an hour to decide whether or not to add an x.

She added two. He deserved it, she had been a bit brutal with his 'morning glory' after all. His text message back didn't take nearly as long as hers took: that sucks :( want anything? Promise i'll turn the grr to :) x

thats ok. going to meet my dad again. will let you know when i'm free x

And then she distracted herself from reality for the rest of the day.

It was the music. It was a pretty sexy beat. By the time they found an empty room in the villa - after someone had yelled 'get a room!' - she was so turned on they could have started immediately. Instead Alo had the presence of mind to find the key in the lock so no one could disturb them or kick them out, and started stripping them of all their clothing, lifted her up and backed them on to the bed, and touched her everywhere, making her toes curl with every sensation. But his eyes never left her face, and when he was finally inside her, making everything feel so fucking good, he wouldn't let her look away. Wouldn't let her close her eyes even when she couldn't help herself. If anything, it just made her come faster, harder, and definitely longer, no matter how self-conscious he made her feel, watching her face change as her climax built and breached. It was even better than closing your eyes, focusing on your other four senses. Having her eyes wide open, unable to look away from her lover's face, she couldn't disassociate how he made her feel with him. She moaned his name over and over again as she came, watched as his face changed agonisingly, clutched the headboard so tight her knuckles turned white as the waves kept on pounding through her body as he lasted through it, and finally released when he did, his body shaking with the force of it.

It took just over four different songs to change before either of them could move, but even then all it was was letting go of the headboard and wrapping them round him, to run her fingers through his hair, shifting his body slightly on top of hers, and un-tightening her legs around his arse.

"Fucking hell, Mins..."

She started giggling. She couldn't help it. Maybe because it had been so intense, and she just had no idea what to say. 'Fucking hell' summed it up quite nicely. He peered at her oddly for a moment, tried not to laugh too, and failed. He rolled off her, still giggling, happily wrapped his arm round her as she curled up into his side.

"Not bad, Farm Boy."

They looked at each other, and burst out laughing again. He reached down and kissed her, risking suffocation as his breathing still hadn't returned to normal. "Knew watching that much porn would come in handy..."

She pulled a face. "Ew, Alo. Just ew."

He chuckled. She was still smiling, she hadn't pulled away. He turned on to his side to face her, ran his hand through her long hair. "We're going to keep doing this when we get home."

She raised her eyebrows. "You so sure of that, Farm Boy?"

He was seriously actually. "You telling me you want to stop?"

She tried to look away from him then, but his hand was still in her hair, keeping her head fixed. All she could do was nod or shake her head, or use actual words.

Of course it was no. No, she didn't want to stop. But she wasn't... she didn't know what she didn't have to actually say it. So she said it another way.

She kissed him, didn't stop. She climbed on top to him, didn't stop. She made him moan again, didn't stop.

It all had to stop sometime though.