Chapter 10

I felt exhausted and defeated. I fell onto my knees. My fingers dug into the soil on the ground. I didn't know if what I had with Wes was love, but he was my freedom. He was my one friend, who knew who I was, that wasn't brainwashed by my family. I couldn't believe that they killed him. I felt sickened by their double standard. They wouldn't tolerate killing of humans yet they could kill any vampire they want?

The others arrived. They stood before me like a panel of jury waiting for my trial. Now I would taken back to be corrected, re-trained. My dad heard my thought and shot a glance at Carlisle. Carlisle signalled for the others to leave with him. Rosalie lingered.

"Rose" Carlisle called out. Rosalie backed away slowly.

Only my mom, my dad and Jacob remained. My mom kneeled down beside me. She tugged a strand of my hair behind my ear. My mom and I used to be very close. There was nothing I would ever hide from her. It only got weird after I found out that Jacob was in love with her before I was born. No one wanted to tell me about that. It slipped out of Uncle Emmett's mouth one time when he was talking about an incident in the past involving a dangerous vampire named Victoria. Uncle Emmett didn't want to elaborate on the matter any further, so I asked Jacob straight up. He admitted to it and he told me everything that happened. He told me how he fought for her, risking his own life. He told me how he hated my dad for stealing her away from him. Although he swore that all his feelings for my mom disappeared after he met me, I couldn't help but wonder if he was ever thinking about her when he was with me. I couldn't talk about this with my mom. I couldn't talk about this with Jacob. I didn't want my dad to hear it in my thought, so that was partly the reason why I decided to move in with grandpa.

"Ness, let's go home." She said gently.

"Not so fast. She needs to own up to what she has done." My dad said angrily.

"Fine." I replied with the same angry tone. "I killed a murderer. I sucked his blood." I could hear Jacob took in a deep breath. "And that is much worse than you killing Wes" I added sarcastically.

"Don't be a fool! He was using you…"

"Enough!" Jacob interrupted my dad. "It was me. I killed him." It was Jacob?

Jacob and my dad looked at each other and then my dad nodded once.

"Come Bella, let's give them some privacy." My dad took my mom's hand and they disappeared into the forest.

Jacob had his back to me. His head hung low.

"Jake…"

"You don't have to tell me anything." He paused. "I promise I will never ask you about it." Jacob turned around to face me. "All I want is for you to come back to me."

Jacob loved me that much. He was willing to overlook the one thing that he despised the most – vampire taking a human life. This has been the way of our relationship from the start. Jacob forgave me for one thing after another.

I could run to him right now and go on pretending that I was the right girl for him. I would always be on the verge of making the next mistake and he would always be ready to forgive me for it. We would continue to live in denial over the fact that I was half-vampire and that I ache for human blood. I would promise him that I would never slip up and kill another human. It would be an impossible promise for me to keep. At some point, I would be hurting him again.

There was also the ugly fact that I have cheated on him. He may never ask me about it but he would not escape the painful suspicion that I would cheat again, for as long as we are together. The damage was done. I have delivered a fatal assault. Jacob would stubbornly hang on, just like how he hung onto my mom even when she was with my dad.

Tears starting flowing down my cheeks. I knew what I had to do.

"I can't. It's too late"

"Ness…" Jacob's eyes were filled with tears. I put my hand on his face one last time and projected for him all of my happy memories of us together. My tears were streaming down on my face uncontrollably. Jacob closed his eyes.

"Goodbye, Jacob Black." I whispered through my tears.

I took one last look at Jacob's face and I ran off into the forest without looking back.