Up to now, I have of course talked to Takasugi about his character, but have not tried to reform it. If you try to force a stubborn character to change, the person will just become incomplete, or rather, in later days, he will come to lose the intense willpower that is absolutely necessary for accomplishing great things. Takasugi is a man, who in ten years will do much. - Yoshida Shoin, responding to Katsura Kogoro's complaints about Takasugi Shinsaku
Chapter Ten: Sleep On Your Problems, Because What Else Can You Do?
1867 – Edo
Nishiko was a little surprised to find Matako's room completely lacking in pink. Of course, this was just the Kiheitai's Edo safehouse. Matako probably didn't spend much time here.
Matako pointed out the guest futon, then threw herself on hers. "I'm not getting up till afternoon," she said. "Unless you need to leave earlier?"
"Afternoon sounds good," Nishiko answered, sitting down on the futon.
"It's nice to have another woman around here," said Matako and yawned. "Too bad you can't come to Kyoto. But I guess Shinsuke-sama needs you here."
"I guess," said Nishiko unenthusiastically.
Matako looked up at her inquiringly. "You haven't seen him for a while, huh?"
"It's been nearly a year."
Matako looked reassured to hear that. She's trying to figure out if I'm a threat, Nishiko realized.
"Maybe you can come up to Kyoto soon, then," Matako said cheerfully. "Shinsuke-sama said you have family there."
"Unfortunately, I do," Nishiko replied, thinking of her mother's family. "They're big Bakufu supporters. They're useful as camouflage, though."
"My family's like that," said Matako sympathetically. "But they've publicly disowned me, so I don't have to bother with them anymore. But I'm keeping you up. We need our sleep desperately, don't we?"
Matako switched off the lamp near her futon. "Good night, Nishiko-chan," she yawned.
"Good night," Nishiko replied, and lay down to rest. She couldn't shake the odd feeling that she'd somehow traveled back in time to her mid teens and was sleeping over at a friend's house after a late night spent gossiping. And for that, she could forgive Matako any multitude of annoyances and jealousies.
1861 – Osaka
"Unbelievable." Takasugi's voice filtered through the darkness that surrounded her. She strained to hear more of what he was saying. His voice was so close to her and yet the words seemed to vanish into thin air before she could grasp their meaning.
She thought perhaps she'd hit her head, but then why did every part of her body hurt too? Her left side was squished up against a soft but unyielding wall, but her body was being jostled up and down. A scent of mingled blood and leather filled her nostrils.
". . . Nishiko?" Takasugi was asking her a question. She struggled to speak, but couldn't move her lips.
"Who have you got there, Takasugi-san?" An unfamiliar voice cut through the darkness with surprising clarity.
"This is my medic, ironically enough." Takasugi's voice reverberated through her body. "She was knocked down a flight of stairs by an explosion." She could hear his breathing close to her ear. The pieces of the puzzle finally seemed to slide together. He was carrying her in his arms.
"Unnngg," Nishiko managed, and opened her eyes. The light nearly blinded her, but she could see his face looking down at hers.
"There you are," said Takasugi soothingly. "Hold still a minute, Nishiko, till I can put you down."
She closed her eyes again.
"This is what comes of having a woman in combat," the unfamiliar voice commented.
"It's what comes of trusting Katsura Kotarou with explosives," Takasugi replied sharply.
"Not Katsura-san's fault," Nishiko muttered.
"Don't worry about defending Zura, Nishiko. He's quite the hero of the moment. Here we go," He bent down and laid her on a soft cushioned surface, then took her hand. "Can you move your fingers for me?"
She grasped his hand tightly, then let go. "I can move my fingers and my toes," she told him, forcing herself to open her eyes again. She was lying on a sofa in a small room with Takasugi kneeling beside her. "My neck's sore but I can turn it too. My name is Tanaka Nishiko and I'm a medic with the Kiheitai. When I fell down the stairs we were in the process of taking the Osaka command centre." She ran easily through her assessment checklist, reassuring herself that she hadn't lost her memory or hurt her spine.
"It looks like your medic can treat herself, Takasugi-san," the stranger said, laughing.
She turned her head to see the other man better. He looked familiar, somehow. He was dressed in the old style, wearing a most expensive-looking kimono and a formal jacket with pointed shoulders. In fact, she was nearly certain he was a Choshu domain official, though she couldn't give him a name.
"Very likely she could, Maeda-dono," Takasugi answered, having stood up.
"Inoue-kun," Takasugi called his aide's name. "Go get Nishiko-san a glass of water and bring along her medical kit. Maeda-dono, let me offer you one of these Amanto-designed armchairs, but I must warn you they're difficult to rise from once you're seated."
"I'd prefer to sit on the floor," the official answered. "Please, take a seat as well, Takasugi-san."
Nishiko closed her eyes again. It was unnerving to be lying on a sofa while her superiors conversed on the floor beside her. Add to that the bizarrity of hearing Takasugi show deference to another person, and she was beginning to feel thoroughly embarrassed, as if she were eavesdropping on a conversation not meant for her ears.
"I had hoped to speak with Katsura-san before the meeting began," Maeda continued. "But I am certain he knows his business well enough to defend our interests in the negotiations."
"He won't let our allies push him around," agreed Takasugi. "Still, if we are entrusting our strategic planning to Katsura, I will go and work on finishing my death poem."
Maeda chuckled. "You have a reputation for bluntness, Takasugi-san. But your meaning is still shrouded by your forceful words."
"I sincerely apologize, Maeda-dono," said Takasugi. "I have no intention of hiding my views. We should move to Kyoto as soon as possible, with or without the extra weapons. Shiroyasha is of the same mind as me."
"We would, of course, appreciate Shiroyasha-san's input, should he appear," replied Maeda.
"I'd go find him myself if I was released from this post, Maeda-dono."
"That won't be necessary, Takasugi-san. If Shiroyasha-san is still alive, our troops will eventually find him. Or he will find them. We need you here to guard the generator. Our Satsuma allies would be very happy to take on that duty, but I shouldn't have to spell out to you why they must not gain control of this building."
"I'd happily trade them this building for the boats they've seized," replied Takasugi brusquely.
"Would you, Takasugi-san?" the official asked drily. "Are you truly surprised then that your superiors prefer Katsura-san to represent the domain's interests?"
"No, Maeda-dono. I am not at all surprised that the domain's interests are held more important than military victory," replied Takasugi. Nishiko held her breath. Takasugi had dropped any pretense of politeness. At home before the war, he'd have been thrown in prison for speaking this way to an official. Here, with his own triumphant army, he must believe himself irreplaceable to express himself so freely.
"I believe it's time to take my leave," Maeda said. "They will be expecting me at this council." Nishiko heard the sounds of both men standing up. "You and the Kiheitai will, of course, remain here, Takasugi-san," the official continued. "Your outstanding record of service would not excuse you, should you disregard our wishes in this matter."
"The Kiheitai will hold this building with our lives if necessary."
"I'm relieved to hear that, Takasugi-san." She heard a screen slide open and someone leave. Gingerly, she opened her eyes. Maeda was gone. Takasugi was standing with his back to her looking out into the hall outside.
A few seconds later, Takasugi's aide came back into the room, carrying the glass of water and her medic's kit.
"How long did it take to get a glass of water, Inoue-kun?" Takasugi asked him sharply.
"I'm sorry, Takasugi-san. Maeda-dono's guard refused to let me back into the room while you were speaking with him."
"Ah, of course."
Inoue came over to the sofa to give Nishiko the water. Nishiko tried to sit up to take the glass, but found she couldn't. Instead, he had to help lift her head so she could drink.
Takasugi watched her thoughtfully. His uniform was stained with blood again, she noticed. Inoue would have his hands full later trying to clean it. "You'll have time to rest ihere n Osaka, Nishiko-san," he said at last. "We're staying here indefinitely."
"Have we taken the city?" she asked hoarsely.
"Most of it. The Joui troops are all in the city now and we've put the shield up again. But they're fighting street to street down by the docks. Inoue-kun, do you know how to get down to the docks?"
"Yes, Takasugi-san. I've been studying maps of Osaka in preparation for this mission."
Takasugi raised an eyebrow. "Maps, huh? But it shouldn't be so difficult. Just follow the smoke from the fires down there."
"Yes, sir."
"Take a few men with you and look for Shiroyasha. You'll find him where the fighting is thickest, I promise you."
Inoue blanched noticeably, but didn't object. "What should we do when we find him, Takasugi-san?"
"Tell him that we need him . . ." Takasugi trailed off, then his face twisted into a mirthless smile. "No, tell him that I humbly request his presence. That will fetch him."
Inoue looked as shocked as Nishiko felt, but quickly obeyed.
"Would you like a painkiller from your kit?" Takasugi asked her once Inoue had gone.
"Yeah . . . If you could get me the green package . . ."
He knelt down to open the kit. "Zura took out an entire company of Bakufu soldiers with his grenades," he said. He pulled out a small green box. "This one?"
"Yes. One pill, please. With water. Could you help me?"
He nodded, popping the pill out from its foil, then helped her hold up her head to swallow the pill with a mouthful of water.
"How long have I been unconscious, Takasugi-san?"
"About four hours, but you were drifting in and out of consciousness the whole time. You don't remember anything?"
"No. I just remember falling."
"Better not to remember Zura in hysterics, maybe. He was weeping when he brought you down."
"It wasn't his fault, I should have noticed I was standing too close to the edge."
"So you can share out the blame between you." He settled down to sit on the floor beside the sofa. "I wondered if we would be leaving you both behind in Osaka, but now it seems we're all staying here. The joint command came looking for Gintoki about an hour ago, once the city was under our control. Gintoki hasn't shown up yet, so they took Zura instead."
"Why aren't you there, Takasugi-san?"
"I can't be spared from guarding this building," he said acidly. "These so-called higher-ups treat the Kiheitai like a pet dog trained to bite on its master's command, but to be muzzled when its barking annoys his ears."
"What will Katsura-san do, then?"
"I don't know." He paused. "There's been a complication to our plans, Nishiko. There's a big weapons depot here in Osaka that we'd hoped to take, though I never counted on it. Far too easy for the enemy to destroy at the last moment, I thought. I almost wish they had."
He paused and pulled a thin case from his breast-coat pocket. "I couldn't smoke on that damned station without setting off an alarm," he said, taking out his pipe. "Been too busy since. My nerves are frayed."
She waited for him to finish lighting up. "What happened to the weapons depot?"
He took a long puff from his pipe. "One of the Bakufu guards sacrificed himself by blowing up the entrance to the bunker where the weapons are stored. As far as we can tell, the weapons are still down there intact. But it may take days to burrow down there without exploding them. Meanwhile, our Satsuma allies are insisting we can't move on to Kyoto until we retrieve the weapons. Everyone else is worried Satsuma won't share out the weapons once they've got them."
"Would they?"
"Probably not." He took another puff, then put down his pipe. "Our very own idiots-in-command think they can force Satsuma to cut us in on the deal, as long as we control the shield generator in this building. They'll try to work out a deal where we divide the weapons and the control of the city. Zura must be in his element right now, playing at being a diplomat."
"If he does make a deal, would that be such a bad thing?" she ventured.
"We sit around and wait for the Bakufu to send reinforcements to Kyoto?"
"Oh."
"When Gintoki first came to me with this plan, he thought we could push on tonight, if everything went well. He doesn't know anything about leading troops. He could go hard for two days straight, so he imagines the average soldier could. In the end, I convinced him we should wait a day, so our men could recover. But no more than that."
"Takasugi-san," she hesitated to ask the question, but if the situation was as bad as he said, perhaps he should explore this alternative. "Would you go on to Kyoto against the joint commanders' orders?"
"Certainly not. You heard me give my word." His green eyes flickered with amusement. "More importantly, we'd be found out before we could leave. Our allies here aren't the best troops but they outnumber us.
"Do you think these officials will listen to Gintoki then?"
"Heaven only knows. I wouldn't, but some of these paper-pushers are ridiculously in awe of Shiroyasha.'" He spoke Gintoki's nickname as though it left a bad taste in his mouth.
"If you do get permission to leave, I think I'll be able to go with you." said Nishiko earnestly. "I'm just bruised, I think."
"Hmmph. You're starting to sound like Zura. Maybe I should find myself a medic who isn't working through a concussion."
"Takasugi-san!"
He chuckled. "Don't worry, Nishiko. We'll give you plenty more work before this war is done. We couldn't have used you today, anyway. We lost three men: Matsumoto and Watanabe died quick, clean deaths. You saw Fujii shot down on the roof. He was dead when we finally cleared our way up there."
"I stopped Katsura-san from going back up to save him," said Nishiko guiltily.
"Good. Zura would have been killed as well, most likely. You need to make life-and-death decisions and then go on without remorse or regret."
"I don't think that's possible."
"No, it may not be." He looked away from her, as though he were facing down some private regret.
Nishiko waited silently for him to return from his thoughts. The painkillers were beginning to kick in and a warm drowsy feeling was replacing the aching pain. Takasugi's gloomy reflections couldn't dispel the fact that they'd won a giant victory. If only he'd take a moment to celebrate it. But still . . . she'd rather be with him than anywhere else. . . If only she could help him carry his heavy load . . .
She yawned.
"Should you really be going to sleep after you hit your head?" asked Takasugi.
"Someone should wake me up every fifteen minutes or so," she conceded.
"Tedious work. I'll find someone else to do it." He stood up. "Good night, Nishiko-san."
The rest of the night passed like a nightmare. The Kiheitai soldiers took turns sitting with her and waking her up regularly, till she felt like she was being tortured. It made it even worse to remember that she was the one who'd instructed them to do so. She needed sleep desperately, but she also knew they should make sure she could be waked.
At one point, Takasugi's aide, Inoue, took up the post beside her couch, and she asked if he'd found Gintoki.
"Yes, he was just where Takasugi-san said we'd find him," Inoue replied. "Fighting Amanto mercenaries down by the docks. We had to wait till he'd killed them all before we could talk to him, though," he said with a chuckle. "That was a sight to see."
"Did he come back here then?"
"Yes, but he headed out again after talking to Takasugi-san."
"Good." She closed her eyes again and quickly fell asleep. Only to be woken up again, after what seemed like only seconds of sleep. And so on.
"You're not looking so good," a familiar voice broke into her nightmare. She opened her eyes and saw Gintoki standing at the door of the room.
"Don't wake her up," hissed Katsura, coming up behind him.
"Too late," she murmured.
"We're here to relieve you," Gintoki told Inoue. "Go hide out before your commander gives you another job."
Inoue protested at the suggestion that he would ever hide from Takasugi, but obeyed Gintoki's order and left the room.
"Nishiko-dono, I am so sorry," Katsura began.
"It wasn't your fault," Nishiko assured him.
"You don't have to worry about Nishiko forgiving you," Gintoki commented. "But I'm fairly sure Shinsuke's marked this down as yet another thing to hold against you till the day you die, Zura."
"It's not Zura -" Katsura cut himself off, and turned back to Nishiko. "Please accept my apology. I should have told you to stand back against the wall. It was my fault. I'd ordered you to guard the stairs."
"Takasugi-san said we can share the blame between us," said Nishiko, smiling at him. "Don't you think that'd be more fair?"
"But you were under my protection," objected Katsura. "I failed in my duty."
"Oh, let Zura be the noble one," put in Gintoki. "How long do you want to dissect this incident anyway?"
"All right, I accept your apology," Nishiko told Katsura. "What did you decide at your meeting?"
Katsura looked uncomfortably at Gintoki. "Ah . . ."
"Zura did a top-notch job negotiating with the Satsuma representatives," said Gintoki. "If negotiating was what we had actually needed in this situation, we would be all set."
"It'd be utterly irresponsible to continue on to Kyoto without back-up," Katsura insisted. "You'll be very glad to have the weapons and men when we do proceed."
Gintoki shrugged. "Yeah, so you say. Go argue with Shinsuke if you want to talk about it. I'm sick of the subject."
"You brought the subject up!" snapped Katsura. "I wasn't going to say anything about it!"
Gintoki waved this aside. "It's like a festival outside on the streets," he told Nishiko. "With more house-burnings and revenge killings, of course. We'll have to postpone that ice-cream expedition until order's restored."
"Which it will be soon," Katsura insisted. "It's only a small minority of our troops making trouble out there.."
"The local citizens are doing their fair share."
"You can't really blame them, Gintoki. They've been oppressed so long by the Amanto and their Bakufu collaborators."
"Katsura, tonight I saw a man whose eyes and tongue had been cut out being paraded through the streets. The bystanders told me he was a luxury goods dealer who worked in partnership with an Amanto firm. Maybe he was a bastard who deserved death, but no one deserves that torture."
"No one?" Nishiko looked up at Takasugi's voice. He had entered quietly without any of them noticing. He was dressed, Nishiko noticed with amusement, in a completely clean uniform. Inoue must have brought along a spare. "You have gone soft, Gintoki."
"Nah, I always was soft," said Gintoki undisturbed. "There's nothing more disgusting than blood and guts."
"Is that why you're always wading in them?" asked Takasugi.
"Shinsuke, Gintoki, you shouldn't talk like this in front of Nishiko-dono," Katsura scolded them.
"Zura, stop treating her like some shut-up noblewoman who knows nothing of the world outside," Takasugi retorted. "She's mopped up enough of your blood already."
Katsura's face flushed deep red. "You may have no sense of propriety left," he hissed. "But that's not how we were taught to -"
"I didn't come here to listen to your nonsense," cut in Takasugi, just as Nishiko realized that Katsura was about to appeal to memory of their teacher. "You've completely undermined our mission and if you had any sense of shame, you wouldn't dare show your face in my headquarters."
"This building isn't yours. You're just guarding it," Katsura replied. "Our domain officials are going to make this their headquarters."
Takasugi stared at him.
"Is that a problem?" asked Katsura spitefully.
"I will never let those bureaucrats take control of the Kiheitai," Takasugi said slowly. "That gang of opportunistic officials only joined us because we'd already rallied our countrymen to rise up against the Bakufu. Have you forgotten that, Katsura?"
"They're not all like that," Katsura protested.
"They don't care about our cause. Their only problem with the Bakufu is that they're not running it. They stood by and let our teacher be murdered."
There was complete silence for several moments, then Katsura said, "I'll tell them they need to find another place for their headquarters. Keep well, Nishiko-dono."
He turned and left the room.
"They didn't listen to you at all," Takasugi said flatly to Gintoki.
Gintoki scratched his head. "Not for a second. Though I was greatly honoured by your confidence in my abilities. Your message just about melted my heart."
Takasugi snorted. "A drowning man will clutch at any straw."
"So you sacrificed your pride to make sure I'd come. I'm proud of you, Shinsuke-kun. You've grown so much from the snot-nosed boy I used to know."
Takasugi ignored the provocation. "Why do you let Zura carry on as he pleases, Gintoki?"
Gintoki's eyes narrowed. "I don't control Zura."
"You encourage him in his stupidities."
"I do not!" Gintoki howled in outrage.
"He just undermined you in front of the other commanders and you came back together chatting? What did you talk about on your way over here: the weather?"
"I came to see Nishiko," said Gintoki. "Are you enjoying all this drama, Nishiko-chan?"
Nishiko, who had been trying to stay as silent and unobtrusive as possible, was disconcerted to find herself the sudden centre of attention.
"Umm . . . " she stalled. "I have a head-ache."
"Not surprising," commented Gintoki. "Shinsuke, we do need to discuss our options further. But there's nothing more we can do now except get some sleep. We'll know our situation better tomorrow."
Takasugi didn't say anything, but nodded.
Nishiko closed her eyes, and tried to settle back to sleep.
Author's Notes: Next chapter. Is Osaka turning into a death-trap? And Gintoki starts off on his adventure to find that ice-cream place.
Arggh, that took a long time to write. There wasn't as much Zura in this chapter as I expected. Takasugi insisted on kicking him out.
I can't express how much I long for reviews, and appreciate my reviewers, so please leave a comment.
Murayama-Tsuru: Thank you. Action scenes aren't really my strong point, so I spent a long time working on the last chapter. Glad to hear it worked for you.
ScotSniper: I've debated with myself exactly how to write Zura. The thing is that he's actually extremely competent when he's in a life-and-death situation, and I also have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of his more engaging lunacy is a reaction to his experiences in the war. He uses his delusions to keep him going. (I don't want to give spoilers here, but the latest manga chapter is a spectacular example of how he can dial up and down his insanity at will.) So I decided to write wartime-Zura as a bit more low-key silly.
Guest: Thank you so much for your thoughtful review. It's always great to catch a glimpse of another reader.
an .co .xx: Ah, yeah, the wordcount on that last chapter took a bit of a dip. Though still not as short as the first couple chapters.
xsayuriuchiha: Well, Nishiko seems to be all right, but she's pretty desperate not to be left behind, so she might downplay any ongoing problems.
The opening quote from Yoshida Shoin can be found at dot meiji2 /takasugi-shinsaku /takasugi-views-on-yoshida-shoin (this site doesn't allow me to type the address properly).