UPDATE! Surprise :-)
Hey there,
you guy's are amazing! I got a literal boost on my motivation with all your reviews. Please keep it up! I just need it.
spfan09: The mess will go on for a little longer. Just needs time to fix up, eventually. But I promise, there will be a happy ending. Because, let's face it, this it tagged as J/P and there wasn't much more than a kiss by now ^^
I'm so glad you guy's like this story. Keep up the amazing reviews and I'll keep on writing!
Yours, Yana
On different way's
Chapter 10
Retrospect
'Why have you done this?' Pacey yelled at her in front of Jack, Doug and Daniel, turning like a stranger in his own four walls. Gesturing around helplessly and his face showed no mercy. 'I told you, I don't want your alms. Keep your charity elsewhere. I don't need it, you understand me?' His face an impenetrable mask of anger and rage. He had grabbed her arm and looked her straight in the eyes. Daniel had holed up in Jacks arms. Shooting fearful looks towards his father, who stood in all his bigness in front of Joey. Holding both of her hands in his big ones and cornering her. Almost killing her with his dangerously glistening eyes. Jack held Daniel tight, covering his head and than carefully lifted him up and carried him outside.
Joey looked at him with some kind of fear and the sick feeling in her gut, that she'd lost him. That she had, in all her goodwill, somehow overseen him. She felt sadness bubbling up into her, but she forced it down. She wanted to say something, but the words seem to stuck in her throat.
Doug stepped towards Pacey and tried to calm him down. 'Pacey, that is enough. You hurt her. Let her go. Pacey!' Doug had his hand on his brothers shoulder by now. Pacey tried to get rid of it. Like it was a annoying fly. He still held Joey's eyes and all she saw was anger and some sort of hatred. She knew, she'd done it wrong. She knew she hadn't been allowed to do, what she'd done, but it had been the right thing to do. Doug and Jack, her sister and brother-in-law, even Tara – all had warned her, but she just knew, what would have been the consequence of faineance.
'You. Get. Out. Of. Here. Now!' He was shaking now, but let go of her hands and so Doug dragged him a few steps away from Joey. His voice lower but dangerous. His whole body seemed to be one huge ball of anger. 'And you better don't ever come back.' His breath was raged and she could see his blood pulse on his temples.
Joey felt the tears sting her eyes and her eyes flickered to Doug for just long enough to see him shake his head in regret.
She swallowed at the lump in her throat and than she nodded. 'Yeah. I'll go then.' He nodded and Pacey must clearly be able to see the sadness in her eyes. And the love. 'Goodbye Pacey.' She merely whispered and than she was off and out of the door faster than she knew she could. The door fell shut behind her and she lend against it. Tears running over her cheeks and she covered her mouth with one hand to muffle the sobbing sounds she was making. She had expected many things, and yes, one of it was an upset, maybe even a mad Pacey, but she hadn't expected such a strong reaction to what she'd done.
As her heart rate had slowed down a bit, she reached into her handbag and pulled a key out of it, with a blue badge on it, that read 'Ice House'. She smiled sadly and put the key into the mailbox, that sat in front of the house, before she headed to her car and was gone.
As Bessie stepped out of the door in the early morning, she found Joey sitting on the outside bench. Curled up into a warm blanket and looking toward the creek. She seemed to be tiered.
Joey looked up, as she became aware of Bessie taking the seat beside her, mustering her from where she sat. She smiled sadly at her sister and wiped away her tears.
'Didn't go down so well, hu?' She offered her the coffeepot she was holding and Joey took it and sipped some of the hot coffee.
'Not really, no.' She shook her head and was in tears again. Sobbing helplessly and shaking.
'Hey... Joey, hey...' Bessie took the cup and placed it on the table, before wrapping her arms around her sister. 'Come here, little one.' Joey let Bessie hold her and felt relieved as her sisters arms wrapped around her. It suddenly all felt more bearable, as Bessie's hand stroke through her hair and her voice shushed her.
At length Joey lifted her head up and looked at Bessie. 'I'll leave, Bess. As much as I want to stay, but I can't. I really can't.'
'What happened?' Bessie asked and Joey could hear the sadness in her voice.
'All was well. We joked and filled him in in our barbecue plans. He looked at me, like he used to and even had one hand on my leg as I drove him home. Doug, Jack and Daniel waited at the house, but as soo as we entered, he kind of flipped. Than he threatened me and quite literally chucked me.' Joey smiled a sad smile. 'But I guess, I somehow earned it.'
'Don't be silly here, Joey. This is ridiculous.' Bessie was clearly upset. 'I'll call him right away and tell him what you've really done. Not what meets the eyes.'
'No Bess.' Joey grabbed her sisters hand. 'No, please.' She begged. 'He'll find out sooner or later, but please don't put his nose into it.' Joey wiped at her tears and grabbed the coffee, suddenly feeling quite childish. 'I left him the key nontheless.'
'But why, Joey? Why are you doing this for him?' Bessie looked at her sister, who'd done nothing wrong and who had such a big, good heard.
Joey shrugged and hated, that the tears began to rise yet again. 'Because I love him, Bessie. It's that simple, really.' She wiped over her eyes and sipped on her coffee again.
'You quite literally saved him, you know?' Bessie looked at Joey with amazement in her eyes. She seemed to be incredible tired, her hair all messy, but she looked utmost beautiful, with the blanket around her shoulders and the soft morning sunshine caressing her face.
'Yeah, I do.' She smiled sadly and just wished to stay and be part of it all. 'If you decide to reopen the Ice House, you'll give him the opportunity to work. He can't go back working on the docks. His doctor said, he wasn't allowed.'
Bessie nodded. 'But with what money, Joey? We'll have to renovate, I'll have to pay him and sooner or later we'll need other staff. And what is with the kids?'
'Don't worry about the money, Bess, like I repeat saying.' Joey tilted her head. 'I'll take care of it. And after the dust has settled, I plan to come back here eventually.' She smiled. 'You know, in the whole process I've decided to settle here by chance. I bought this beautiful little house on the creekside. I'd hate it, if I'll never get the chance to actually live there.' She looked back to the glistening creek and sighed heavily.
Bessie shook her head and after a while she said: 'You know, I just want to put this guy's head right where it belongs.'
'I know, Bess. But you won't do any such thing. And please promise me, you'll look after Pacey and Daniel. I'll take care of this other unpleasant issue.'
'Oh my, Joey. I'm going to miss you so badly.'
'I'll miss you too, Bessie. And everyone else.' She fell silent. The thought of going back to Boston did nothing to enchant her. She just wanted to stay here so badly, but there was this unresolved matter, she had to look after. And surely she didn't want to live here, if Pacey was this mad at her.
They had a quick breakfast, before Jack brought over Amy and Daniel. Giving Joey an apologetic look.
'Sorry, we've dropped the barbecue, Bess.' He said and Bessie nodded.
'I was just worried like hell, as Joey didn't show up here after you've called.'
'You didn't?' Jack looked at Joey.
'No, I … Kind of couldn't, really. I needed some alone-time.'
'Yeah. I'm sorry, hon.' He hugged her and letting her know what she already knew. There was nothing to do about Pacey's bad mood. He didn't wanna listen to anything there was to say and had everybody leave the house soon after he'd chuck Joey.
He gave her a bear hug. 'Just know, sweetheart, You've done everything right. And not the least, you've saved his damned life and that is a matter of fact even he has to accept sooner rather than later.' Jack looked at her with serious but somehow puppylike eyes.
'Yeah. Thanks Jack. For everything.' Joey tried a smile but failed and Jack kissed her on the forehead, holding her just long enough for her to bring her emotions under control.
'Bon voyage.' Jack whispered and pattered on her shoulder.
'Good bye, Jack. Kiss Douggy for me.'
'Will do.' He waved and off he drove.
Joey bend down and picked up a crying Daniel. 'Hey there, sweety. Why are you crying?'
'I don't want you to leave, Jo. I just don't.' She felt her heart break for this little person she held, but she knew she had no comfort for him.
'I have to, you know. I want to visit my dad and mom. And you know... your daddy is pretty mad at me right now. It wouldn't be the same, even if I'd stayed.'
Daniel nodded, but sobbed. 'But if you're done visiting your parents and my dad isn't mad anymore, you'll come back?'
'Yeah. I'd love to come back.' She kissed the boy and held him for a long time.
'Joey?'
'Yeah?'
'I just wish, you were my mom.' Joey became all warm inside and kissed him once more, before hugging him as tight as she dared to.
'Oh, sweet Danny. I kind of wish I were too.'
She smiled at him sadly. They'd spent almost all the time Pacey was at the hospital together.
Daniel wanted to sleep at home, Joey guessed he felt closer to his father here, than he could at Bessie's. Joey had spent all the rest of the time whether at Pacey's hospital bed, sometimes until Jack had chased her out, because she was just exhausted like hell. She had looked like she never slept at all and honestly, she rarely did. When Daniel finally fell asleep this first night after Pacey had been brought to hospital, she had opened the wardrobe, because she figured he wanted her to know something important and what she'd found just made her worst fears come true.
She found a whole bunch of letters, all still unopened. With a wildly beating heart she'd opened them and just couldn't believe it. John Witter had obviously written to the Youth Welfare Office in Boston and made a report against his son, because of the poor environment his grandson lives in. They'd made an announcement for a visit and Joey noticed in horror that it was due in two days. They could have made a attempt for a revision or made an report themselves, but clearly the revise was up like about four weeks ago.
Without thinking, she grabbed her mobile and dialled Andie's number. It beeped a few times, until finally she'd picked up her phone.
'Josephine?' Andie's voice was clearly sleepy and it was only than Joey realized it was around 3:30 in the morning.
'Oh, hi Andie. Sorry to interrupt your sleep. See, I need a favour. A real, real big one...' She hestitated.
'At 3:30 in the morning?' Andie'S voice was soacked with sleepy sarcasm.
'It's for Pacey, actually.' Joey stated.
There was a long period of silence. Joey could almost picture Andie getting up and out of the room, to not interrupt Dawson's sleep as well.
'Why? What's up?'
'Okay, I can't get in the utmost profoundness of this, Andie. Just that I need you to convince your friend Olivia, that she has to postpone her appointment on Thursday. At least a few weeks.'
'Olivia is coming down? But why?' Joey could hear Andie brew herself some coffee and taking a seat, wide awake now and in lawyer-mode, as the both of them call it, when they'd counsel each other in the middle of the night, with this or that case, mostly job-related eventually.
'Because... because of Pacey's son, Andie.' Joey tried to explain, without giving too much away, but she knew, that Andie knew what that meant, without her telling her so.
Andie almost chocked her coffee. 'His... son?'
'Yeah, Daniel. He's around Amy's age.' Joey was tiered of explaining everything to Andie, and totally exhausted, but she figured she had to, if she wanted her help.
'But why hasn't he told us? We didn't know he even had a son... So is he married?'
'No Andie. No, he isn't married. And it is quite obvious, why he hadn't told you. Because you are the main reason he lives the life he does.' She breathed. 'You know, he still have a picture of you. And one of the four of you – he, you, Dawson and Jen – clearly taken on the beach at a time you two were still a couple. But why am I telling you this?' She smiled silently, because she knew full well why she told her friend. What she wasn't telling her, was that she found those pictures way under those damned letters, deep down in the wardrobe.
'Oh...' Andie responded, clearly deep in a pleasant memory. And at length she asked: 'And why is it, Olivia wants to postpone her appointment?'
Joey grinned, knowing she had been victorious. And suddenly realizing, why she loved Andie so much, despite what she'd done to Pacey. She could rely on her, no matter what. Call her in the middle of the night and just knowing, that she wouldn't deny her her help. So Joey told her, there were some little things, that has been to put in place, before anyone could come over.
'...and you know, with Pacey in the hospital right now, it's up to me, and I'm not that good with the whole refurbish stuff.'
'Yeah, I can imagine that.' She paused. 'And why is he in the hospital? Was there an accident while refurbishing?'
'No Andie...' Joey's voice was quite low and she was surprised by the sudden sting of tears in her eyes as she could almost picture him sitting in the entrance, wan as death. Seeing him before her inner eye, lying in this damned hospital room, with all the monitors and needels, and infusions and everything. With this machine helping him breath and the unsteady beeping of his heart. Caught somewhere between dying and dead rather than life. She took a deep shaking breath. 'No, he's seriously sick. And to be honest, at the moment nobody dares to make any prognosis.' She swallowed hard, as Andie began to babble away. 'Look, Andie. Thanks for helping me out, but I have to go. I really need some rest.'
'Sure, sweetheart. Don't worry about Olivia, I'll take care of her.'
'Thanks Andie. Bye.' Than she flipped her phone close and leant back onto the couch, closing her eyes for just a moment.
That was, where Daniel found her only three hours later. Sitting in an awkward position, with a hell of a pain in the neck, because her head must have been backwards as she had fallen asleep.
'Hey there, gorgeous.' She smiled at him as he cuddled up beside her.
'Morning, Joey.' He looked at her and his shiny blue eyes, his fathers eyes, swam in tears. 'He will die, won't he? And then I'm all alone...'
'Oh, Danny...' She held him and tried to soothe his little heart. 'You know what? We'll go over to Bessie, have a nice breakfast in her garden and then I'll drive to the hospital and look after him. I promise you, Jack does all he can, that you daddy won't die. All we both can do is hope and pray and be there for him, okay?'
Daniel nodded.
'And if nothing else, I'll be still here, even if he shouldn't be.' Joey kissed the boy's head and hold him close. Remembering how Pacey used to look at her, when she did this. 'And we have something very important to do, to shorten the time until he is well again.' She looked him in the eyes.
'And what?' Daniel raised his head and the pain in his eyes made Joey's heart ache.
'We'll have to refurbish.' she shot him an conspiratorial look and the boy ginned that amazing grin his father did, when he was intrigued. 'You know, there will be a woman that comes and have a good look, if you've have an extra room and everything. So we have a whole lot of work to do.'
'But why? I have no extra room and I like to share a bed with daddy.'
'I know. But she will be here nonetheless and if she found, that it's cold in here and you two share a room and all this stuff,' She gestured around the room. 'She will take you to Boston.'
'But I don't want to go to Boston, Joey. I want to stay here, with daddy and Bessie and you and all.'
'Exactly.' She smiled warmly and pointed at the boy's nose and looked him in the eyes. 'And this is why we have to get to work right after I come back from the hospital, ok?'
Daniel had nodded and so the days were filled with breakfast at Bessie's, Joey visiting Pacey, sometimes with Daniel, but mostly without him, with refurbishing, redecorating and a visit at IKEA for some new pieces of furniture, not to forget new chimney's to finally get the house warm, with calls and mails and Joey getting a report against Pacey's father ready.
They got all walls white, the formerly bedroom was now Daniel's room with a bed, a wardrobe (for Pacey's and Daniel's clothes), a bookcase and a playing carpet, simple white curtains on the window and a nice warm lamp on the ceiling. They placed a shoe cabinet in the entrance, along with a mirror and a hall-stand. They left the kitchen as it was. In the living-room they placed a plain wooden table with four matching chairs and a sofa bed for Pacey, with an equally wooden couch table and two small armchairs. They hung white curtains here as well. In each room they installed lamps to cover up the loose lightning bulbs. Joey had thought about a picture on the wall, but Tara had successfully talked her out of it. The main chimney now stood in the living-room (to sit by on chilly winter's nights, quite romantic as Jack pointed out), a smaller one in Daniel's room and they managed to warm the bath with a tubing on the ceiling from the chimney in the main area. Joey had someone come for the house front and for isolating the windows porperly. The outside they'd left as it was.
Everybody just had raised their brows on Joey. Had warned her, that she wasn't allowed to intervene in this way with Pacey's life, but she just couldn't help it. But eventually everybody was helping her getting everything done. After all, he had asked for her help, well, at least she thought he had. Doug was an amazing craftsman, Jack and Tara did all the redecorating and Joey just managed everything, went for all the stuff they needed.
They had lots of fun renovating together and spent many nights around a bonfire in Pacey's backyard. Bessie and Bodie came over with the kids and something to eat every evening and they all grew very close.
On one of those evenings, they came up with the idea of buying this place, though it was obvious, that Pacey would never be able to work at the docks anymore. But Joey shook her head. 'I don't think, he would accept it, even if it meant a whole bunch less worries. They all agreed, after all, the owner had shortened the anyway low rent by half, because they'd refurbished on their own costs.
'I'd came up with a better ideas.' Said Bodie and downed at his beer. 'I would like to reopen the Ice House. We could have a credit at the bank. And I would like Pacey as a chef. If he wants to.'
All agreed, that this was a great idea and Joey had offered to pay half of the price in one, so the credit was a lot lower. Her only request was, that they would have Pacey announced as a co-parnter.
They celebrated and Daniel had finally believed, that his father would actually come home after all.
They were all so excited, as Pacey finally was released, with amazingly little damage left. But as he entered the house and saw what they'd done he just freaked out. Yelling at her and chucking her out of his house and quite literally his life.
And so she just hugged the little boy in her arms for the last time. 'I'll go home now, Danny. And you take care of your father for me, okay? And if he'll have it, tell him I'll love the both of you more than I've ever loved anybody in my whole life.' Tenderly she caressed his back and brushed with her thump over his cheeks, wiping away his tears. 'I promise, I'll come back.'
He nodded and took a brave deep breath. 'I love you too, Jo. And don'T take too long, won't you?'
'I won't, I promise.' She kissed him and than she stood, hugging Bessie.
'See you soon, little sis. Here's always a room for you.' Bessie said seemingly shaken.
'I know. Thank you for everything, Bess. And please promise me, you won't tell him.'
'I promise.' They hugged for a long few moments.
'Good bye, Bessie.' With that Joey almost flew into her car, leaving the roof up. Just hoping, nobody had seen her tears. She lowered a window and waved, until she couldn't see them anymore. As she drove off, down the road that leaded her back to a town, that wasn't her home anymore and away from those who'd become more dear to her than she'd thought possible, she felt as alone and low as she never had felt ever in her life.
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