Zac's internal alarm went off at 4:30. His eyes opened and he squinted as the green digital numbers glared at him. He felt a pressure on his arm and realized Stacey was sound asleep with his arm as her pillow. He smiled until he realized he was awake without a baby crying.

He lay there for a few minutes looking around the room, taking in the décor. His mind wandered to the conversation he overheard between Stacey and Vanessa, his reaction to the information that his wife had revealed, and then it wandered down the hall, to the bedroom he had been more than familiar with several years ago, and the woman who was currently sleeping there.

The heat that Zac felt flushing his face woke him up fully. His body tensed as images of Vanessa flashed in his mind. He squeezed his eyes together and swallowed roughly. His mind told him that the woman beside him was his wife, but his heart sent him backwards five years. His heart pumped with a vengeance while thinking about Vanessa's plea to stay together without a chance of pregnancy.

They had spent a year debating children. He had spent two months away from her, begging her to come visit him in the foreign country, seeing her just two broken weeks during that time and wondering what had happened. The only explanation he could ever pull from her involved something with an acquaintance of Vanessa's who was pregnant. Whatever issue that young woman was having completely scared Vanessa away from the idea of having children.

Zac worked for the following year to change her mind, but nothing he could do would convince her. It was as though something had happened to Vanessa personally.

Zac gently pulled his arm out from under Stacey's head and scooted himself to the edge of the bed. He had to get out of the house. He needed to run to clear his thoughts and empty his mind. The beach was calling. He pulled on a pair of running shorts and a wife beater then leaned over the bed and placed a kiss on Stacey's cheek. "Back in a bit." he whispered.

Zac opened the door of the bedroom and tiptoed across the hall. Alex was sleeping peacefully. Zac ran a finger over his son's head and blew a kiss at him. "Give me 30 minutes big guy and I'll be back with a bottle. Don't wake Mommy!" he whispered softly and headed out the door.

ZVZVZV

The noise that woke Vanessa at almost five a.m. was something she didn't recall hearing since her parents had brought Stella home from the hospital. She rolled in her bed and pinched her eyelids together trying to get her bearings.

It took her just a minute to realize she was really hearing a baby crying in her Malibu home. In the next moment she woke enough to interpret the sound as baby Alex, Zac and Stacey's son, the little boy who was supposed to be sleeping down the hall.

Vanessa listened to him cry for another minute before remembering that Zac had fixed a bottle and left it in the refrigerator. The tug at her heart pulled Vanessa out of the bed and out of her room. She stopped at the closed bedroom door and opened it slightly. The darkness inside led her to believe that the married couple was sound asleep.

She then followed the sound of the whimpering little boy to the crib across the hall. This time when she peeked in Alex had kicked his covers off and his little arms and legs were somewhat flailing against the mattress.

"Hey Little Guy, shhh. Alex, Baby…are you hungry?" Vanessa marveled as the little eyes looked up at her and momentarily quieted. But as soon as the crying stopped, the whimper began again leading Vanessa to pry her eyes farther open and reach into the crib to pick up the little boy.

She glanced at the clock on the desk. The 4:58 that was showing there just made her shake her head as she nestled Alex into her arms. "This is nuts little one. Is this what your mommy and daddy were talking about? You do this to them every morning?" She stretched her eyelids and shook her head.

Vanessa carried Alex to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. The blue bottle looked foreign sitting on the shelf with fresh vegetables, fruit, milk, beer and wine coolers. Vanessa pulled the plastic container out and held it in front of her face.

"38 seconds Vanessa." She took the cap off the bottle then turned and opened the microwave door sliding the bottle inside. She cradled Alex in one arm and felt him begin to nuzzle against her chest. The burning inside her body started again, making her hold him closer.

"Someday?" she swallowed the word down her throat and looked at the baby who was attempting to find a place to latch on. The frustration on his face made her smile.

"You're not gonna find it there Buddy, look…fifteen more seconds and we'll try to get you settled." The sarcastic "Wah" that followed her encouragement made Vanessa laugh out loud. "Where on earth did you learn to be such a sasser already? You're six months old. If you want this bottle you better mind your manners. Don't make me wake your Daddy up." Vanessa scolded gently.

She grabbed the microwave door and pulled it open just as the timer began to beep. She slid Alex up onto her shoulder as she carefully juggled him and placed the cap back on the bottle. As they headed back down the hall she remembered Zac's other instruction. She gave the bottle a good shake to even out the temperature.

When she stepped back into Alex's room she realized the desk chair was the closest thing to a rocking chair that she would find so she settled into it with the baby. After just a moment she grabbed a pillow off the bed to shove under her left arm making it easier to support the little head against her elbow. She checked the temperature of the heated liquid and barely felt it touch her skin. "Here we go Little One." She pointed the nipple in his direction.

As soon as Alex sucked the tip into his mouth he began to drink voraciously. Vanessa's mind drifted back to several instances…numerous even…between her and Alex's father. Their intimate encounters often included a voracious Zac, attached to Vanessa's chest. She laughed at first at the memories and then felt a warmth run through her…an empty warmth.

Vanessa looked back down at Alex and intercepted his little hand that was reaching up toward her hair. She locked eyes with the baby and simply stared. "You are a lot like your daddy, aren't you?" The sound of the liquid leaving the bottle began to soothe her emptiness.

"I love your Daddy, Alex. And I love your Mommy. I would never do anything to hurt them. Not intentionally. That's why I can't tell either one of them about the secret that Aunt Stella knows. But I did what I thought was best at the time. Between you and me? I can still feel that little flutter inside of me. I can tell you the exact night that I got pregnant." She halted her whispering story and watched Alex's eyes watching her.

"We had gotten the schedule for Daddy's movie. He was going to Haiti for the shoot. And he was gonna be gone for two months. Visa's were hard to get so we had no clue if I could come visit him or if he'd be able to come home. His plane tickets were in with the schedule. We had six weeks till he left. I was scared. I admit it and he knew it." Vanessa took a minute to breathe and felt Alex snuggle a little tighter against her.

She laughed at a thought that came to her. "Don't tell your Aunt Stella this ok? But your Daddy and I were probably as bad as her and…well, might as well call him Uncle Sawyer. We kept…" Oh good grief, he's six months old and I'm talking to him about birth control. She smiled and continued her thought. "We kept condoms everywhere. But that day…that day…he started to get one out of the bathroom drawer to bring into the shower with us and I just told him 'no'. I just told him 'no'."

They sat there silently, Alex's eyes just beginning to droop but he was still fighting it. Vanessa continued her memory, but only in her mind. She felt no need to voice to Zac's son the fact that she could still feel his father making love to her. Nor did she need to tell him that she knew she was pregnant the minute Zac had left her body that afternoon and carried her to the bed.

Her mind moved forward before she began again. Vanessa's hands moved lovingly over the little boy's arms, feet and face. "It would've all been different Alex." She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and took a breath. "I was so happy when I found out that you were gonna be born." She stopped and looked into his face. "Who am I kidding Baby Boy? No I wasn't. I had this stupid hope that your Daddy wouldn't find someone else to have a family with…and that maybe I would change my mind down the road. And you know what's really sad?" she nervously rocked the chair with her toes. "Because of you…I think I have changed my mind."

The rustling against the door frame caught Vanessa's attention. She didn't turn her head completely. She didn't need to. She knew who was there.

"Never's a long time Vanessa." He spoke softly, suddenly feeling the surge of want that had sent him to the beach a half hour ago.

"Go back to bed Zac." She said without turning around.

"Let me finish up with my son." He attempted to order, hoping time with Alex would curb the signals his body was giving him as he watched Vanessa and listened to her talk.

"He's already asleep again. We're fine. Go back to Stacey." Vanessa refused to turn her head around to look at Zac. Instead she kept her eyes fixed on the little irises that were watching her as he edged closer to the end of his bottle.

Vanessa waited until she heard the door across the hall latch and lock before she let the first tear fall down her face. "Hold me now…" she began to sing to Alex whose grip on her finger was beginning to loosen. "I can't tell if I'm lost or found. And I don't know how to let you in or let you go…I'm so vulnerable."

She hummed the tune of the song as Alex's eyes began to close. "Hold me now…Please Baby don't let me go. I know for sure that you're the cure…Coming down with a case of I Love You More…I don't wanna be vulnerable."

Vanessa lifted the little body to her shoulder and patted him on the back until a sizeable burp erupted from his throat. She smiled through her tears and continued rocking and singing for just a few more minutes.

She had accomplished what she came to Malibu to do this weekend. Zac agreed to be in the sequel. Her next thought as she gently put Alex back into the crib was to just grab her bag and go back to LA. She hadn't intended to give Zac any indication that she had changed her mind about having children. That conversation was supposed to be just between her and the six month old boy who would never tell her secret.

She knew Zac wouldn't act on that information, nor would she.

She spread the blanket back over the sleeping baby and moved her fingers gently over his face and back. "As much as it hurts, thank you Alex. I hope we get to do this again sometime." She smiled feeling the little body relax under her touch.

As she walked out of the room she heard the soft voices behind the locked door. With years of experience she knew what was getting ready to happen in that room. A confused and somewhat tortured Zac was going to clear his mind the best way he knew how. By connecting with his wife, losing himself inside of her and making love to her until the pain of Vanessa's words subsided…again.

ZVZVZV

Zac had become a pro at entering their home silently. In the Hollywood Hills he knew every creak of the door and how to avoid the various toys and furniture sitting between him and the bedroom. His early morning runs had taught him long ago to at least be aware of his surroundings when coming back home. His attempts to surprise Vanessa, then Stacey, then the birth of his son aided in the stealth part of his cause.

He was surprised to hear noises when he quietly latched the front door of the Malibu home. Fully expecting to find his wife nursing their son he went ahead and shed his sweaty shirt and left his sneakers and socks just inside the front door. He smiled as he walked down the hall and peeked into the room. But before he could say anything the beautiful figure with tousled dark hair pulled his heart into his throat.

He at first didn't pay attention to her words. He could only recall the many dreams he had had that included Vanessa holding a child that belonged to her and him; and he remembered a few times imagining Vanessa in Stacey's place, holding Alex. That part of his psyche kicked in again making him struggle to believe what he was watching.

Zac stood in the doorway, arms crossed, just watching the scene unfold. He heard the sound of Alex drinking from the bottle. He could just make out the fact that Vanessa was holding Alex's small hand in hers. And as his ears adjusted he began to understand the words she was saying. She wasn't just cooing baby talk at his son. She was telling him something of importance, something she wouldn't share with anyone else.

"Who am I kidding Baby Boy? No I wasn't. I had this stupid hope that your Daddy wouldn't find someone else to have a family with…and that maybe I would change my mind down the road. And you know what's really sad? Because of you…I think I have changed my mind." The words hit Zac like a ton of bricks. He felt himself teetering and stepped slightly carelessly to lean his shoulder against the doorframe.

He couldn't keep the words in his body. He had said them so many times those years before but she never seemed to believe him. "Never's a really long time Vanessa." They slipped out before he could stop them.

She didn't turn around to look at him. He halfway expected her to. He halfway hoped that she would put his son back in the crib, walk to him with the shy look that she would wear before instigating a passionate thought, and lead him farther down the hall to her bedroom.

In that moment, his stomach churned. What would he do if she turned around. What would he do if she tried to lead him down the hall?

But she didn't. Instead he heard her instructions purely with his heart. She told him to go back to bed. His body reacted even more to her voice. His arms, legs, neck, abdomen and groin stiffened at the sound. As wrong as it seemed, going to bed was exactly what he wanted at the moment…but not the bed she was referring to.

He needed to be with her. Her obvious refusal wasn't what he expected or wanted. Still he knew she was right. "Let me finish up with my son." Again she refused with a simple instruction.

Zac didn't need to be told a third time. He believed her lie that Alex was already asleep again although he could still hear the suckling sound from the bottle. He had no reason not to believe her. So he turned his heart, his head and his feet and made his way back into the other bedroom.

He placed his knees on the bed and knelt beside his wife. Zac bent down and began to place whispers of kisses against her ear. "I love you Stacey. I love you with every part of me. I don't ever want you to question that. Don't ever …" he rubbed his thumb around the shell of her ear and ran his fingers through her hair.

Stacey stretched under his touch. "What time is it?" she asked with a sleepy voice before opening her eyes.

Zac moved his lips over top of hers and let his tongue glide along the line where her lips met. "A little after five." He whispered and repeated the action.

"I didn't exactly expect my special wake up call this early." Stacey let her eyes flutter and found her husband practically sitting on her thighs and looking at her hungrily.

She smiled at first and waited for some kind of retort from Zac. When it didn't happen she lost the smile and looked up at him in the darkness. "What happened Zac?"

"Vanessa…being here…seeing her with him. I…had some thoughts." He shook his head. "I need you Stace. Right now, I need you."

Stacey ran her hands over his chest and gripped his shoulders, pulling him down toward her. "Just don't…"

"I can't promise I won't, not right now. She's in my mind Stace, I need to be with you to change that."

"No." Stacey put a finger over his lips. "It's not her name…I mean, don't rush."

"What?" Zac gently grasped her hand and sucked the tip of her finger into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue.

"You need to wake me up Zac." She dared to smile at him. "You promised me you'd wake me up in your special way. I'm gonna hold you to that. I just need you to take your time."

Zac didn't return the smile but he continued stroking her arms, staring into her eyes and sensually moving the tips of her fingers against his tongue. He moved his body off of hers and found his way down to his side stretched out next to her.

He let Stacey move her hands over his body to know that his arousal was heightened. She knew it was the thoughts of Vanessa that brought him to this point. But now she would take over and bring his mind back to her, back to his marriage vows, back to their bed. She wouldn't let him say the other woman's name this morning. Stacey was determined. This morning would be for her, for them and for their family.

Both Stacey and Zac knew when Vanessa passed by their door. They looked into each other's eyes with love. Stacey filled him with compassion, and in return he gave her passion that brought on the purr from Zac's Kitten to let him know exactly who he was making love to.

She wondered why Alex hadn't woken up during the time that they spent together. The thought that Zac had taken care of him before waking her caused her to prolong their lovemaking. As they lay together in the bed, curled together and still connected Stacey bit gently on Zac's ear.

"Thank you for taking care of Alex. I didn't even hear him cry." She whispered seductively.

Zac breathed in deeply and looked down across his wife's naked body before he spoke.

"Don't thank me, thank Vanessa."

10ZVZVZV10