"More water, Sue Ellen?" Cliff asked nervously as the two waited in the resting area of Dallas Memorial Hospital.
"Cliff, you have done more than enough for me," Sue Ellen smiled, relieved that he had found her that day, and rescued her – twice.
"How long do you have to wait for a doctor!" Cliff demanded impatiently, glaring at the nurses in the nurses' station.
"Actually, Cliff, you could do something for me."
"Anything."
"Relax. We haven't been waiting that long."
"I thought the Ewing name carried weight in this town," he huffed.
"Why don't you get something to eat for dinner? I'm sure there's a Chinese place around here somewhere," she laughed.
"Is that comment supposed to mean something," Cliff countered, smiling at Sue Ellen's good spirits. The fact that Sue Ellen could keep a smile with everything that was going on around her spoke volumes about her character. She had truly grown over the years: from the woman who relied on the Ewing name, to the woman who was willing to walk away if necessary. Cliff admired her, found a new admiration for her, not as a potential romantic partner, but as a friend.
"Mrs. Ewing?" the nurse called from behind the door, "Dr. Morris can see you now."
"Thank-god," Cliff exclaimed, helping Sue Ellen out of her chair.
"Honestly, Cliff, relax, you're more nervous than I am."
"Have a sit, Mrs. Ewing," the doctor gestured to an orange plastic chair. "I'm Doctor Andrew Morris. I understand that you're regular doctor is Harlan Danvers?"
"That's right, Dr. Morris. I would have gone to him, but I thought it was an emergency."
The elderly doctor smiled, "it always pays to be careful with our health, Mrs. Ewing." The doctor sat down, "tell me about these pains that you've been having."
"They occur near my stomach at varying degrees, lately they've become much harsher. At first I thought it was stress, but it kept coming back, and it shows no sign of going away."
"If you'll step into the other room, Mrs. Ewing, I'd like to perform some routine tests." Sue Ellen looked at Cliff as she walked away.
"Do you want me to call J.R.?" Cliff asked gently.
Sue Ellen paused for a brief moment, "no, Cliff. I'm sure it's nothing."
Sue Ellen returned to Cliff in under an hour. "They have so many tests and examinations to do," she stated.
"Good, that way they'll know what's wrong," Cliff reassured. "Can I get you something to eat?"
"I'm not very hungry, Cliff. I'll just wait here for the doctor to bring the results." Sue Ellen looked at the clock, realizing that it was after ten o'clock at night. "You should go home, Cliff, it's getting very late."
Cliff took her hand, "I'm not leaving until I know that you're okay."
"Mrs. Ewing, they have your results." A nurse led the couple back to the room.
Doctor Morris smiled as he greeted the beautiful Texan, his hand outreached to shake hers. "I have wonderful news, Mrs. Ewing."
"There's nothing wrong with me." Sue Ellen smiled, relieved to know that her health troubles would soon be over.
"On the contrary, Mrs. Ewing, you should be celebrating."
"And why is that, Dr. Morris."
"You're going to have another baby," he beamed.
"My god, Sue Ellen," Cliff gasped, never guessing in a million years that Sue Ellen could once again be pregnant.
"What?" Sue Ellen asked, sitting down in a chair, thinking back in her mind to the last time she had sex, which was on her anniversary weekend with J.R. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, ma'am, you are six weeks along, and the baby is doing fine. The baby was causing the pains in your stomach."
"Pregnant," Sue Ellen whispered, taking Cliff's hands.
"You and Mr. Ewing will be so happy."
"I don't believe it."
"I want you to visit Dr. Danvers regularly for health checkups for you and the baby. As I understand, your last pregnancy was a bit traumatic."
"Those were very different circumstances," Sue Ellen said quietly.
"Is there anything else I can do for you, Mrs. Ewing?"
Sue Ellen looked down at the ground, in shock from the recent events. She was carrying another child, another life. This was happening at the worst possible time. Her life was a complete mess: temporarily separated from her husband, she had not found a solution to their relationship issues yet. A baby would complicate an already sticky situation. Sue Ellen looked at the doctor and primly extended her hand, creating another dazzling smile, "thank-you so much for your assistance, Dr. Morris. I promise to visit Dr. Danvers very soon." Sue Ellen slowly stood up, her mind whirling with questions and concerns. Her heels clicked as they hit the ground, Sue Ellen looking straight ahead, ignoring the onlookers and staff at the hospital.
"Sue Ellen!" Cliff called after her, grabbing her arm. "Wait!"
"Cliff, I'd like to be alone."
"Right now, being alone is the last thing you need," Cliff said gently, guiding her to his car. "I am going to get us both something to eat, and then we'll talk."
"Just as long as it isn't Chinese," Sue Ellen muttered, buckling her seat belt, running her fingers through her hair. There is no way that I am ready for another child.
The ride home proved to be tortuously slow as neither Sue Ellen nor Cliff spoke. She couldn't speak, her body was numb. The nighttime lights of Dallas swirled together, making the expectant mother sick to her stomach.
Cliff proffered his arm to Sue Ellen as she shakily exited the vehicle, and into the dimly lit house. Sue Ellen sat down on a sofa, her arms and legs trembling.
"You picked a fine time to strike out on your own," Cliff lightly joked as he wrapped a blanket around her shivering body. "I'll be right back."
Cliff wisely chose to pick up something light for Sue Ellen's stomach: chicken noodle soup and crackers.
"Thank-you," Sue Ellen whispered, allowing the warm liquid to enter her body. "What would I have done today without you?"
"Don't think about that, Sue Ellen," Cliff ordered, taking a seat for himself. "I'm sure that anyone else would have done the same thing in my position."
Sue Ellen gently pressed her fingers to her forehead. "I seem to have a knack for getting pregnant at the most inconvenient times."
"At least you know who the father is," Cliff joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"No paternity tests to worry about," Sue Ellen smiled. "No guesses to make."
"And in a few months, you'll feel better than ever."
Sue Ellen lowered her hazel eyes, "what am I going to do?" she whispered, tears forming in her eyes. "There are so many things in my life that I'm confused about, I don't know what I want or where I'm going. How can I…"
"Sue Ellen, it will be okay."
"How can you say that?" Sue Ellen sobbed. "I am going to bring another child into a world of deceit, confusion, and uncertainty. I'm not ready for this responsibility. I still don't know what I want with my life. How can I, in good conscious, bring another child into the world?"
Cliff looked at her, not knowing quite what to say. Sue Ellen was right when she said she has a knack for bad timing. Not knowing what else to do, he put his arms around her body. "Sue Ellen, you are freezing!" he exclaimed, feeling her arms and face. "Where's the thermostat?"
"In the back," Sue Ellen replied, chewing on a cracker.
"What you need to do," Cliff began, taking authority, "is figure out where you want your life to go. Do you want to go back to your husband?"
"I miss him," Sue Ellen admitted, feeling guilty that she was keeping this monumental secret from him. "When things were good between us, I was in heaven." Cliff looked at her in disbelief, prompting a laugh from Sue Ellen. "There is a side to him that other people don't see."
"Do you want to go back to him?"
"Right now, I'm still confused, this pregnancy changes everything. If I were to leave him, and he found out about the baby, he would fight me for custody, not to mention custody of John Ross."
"You could fight him, Sue Ellen. Don't be afraid to leave him because you believe that you won't win."
"I don't know if I want to leave him. What I do know, is that I miss him terribly, and that he seemed very sorry for all of his indiscretions, including reading my diaries. I can't hate him," Sue Ellen said finally. "I have tried so many times to hate him, resist him, but it never sticks. He has a power over me, a power that no one else has. And every time I fight it, every time I try to make an escape, he draws me back in."
"You still love him," Cliff said gravely, wishing that it weren't so, yet wanting the best for Sue Ellen, to see her happy.
"I do," she breathed. "I need to tell him that I love him."
"You seem to be forgetting your stalker from this afternoon: Clint."
"I'm still confused about Clint."
"But you know that you love J.R.?"
"Clint… I still can't get over what he said, or the way he said it. This man has loved me for years, and now he decides to tell me, after all of this time. What am I supposed to think?" Sue Ellen's eyes wearily closed, realizing that what she needed right now, was sleep. "Have you ever loved someone and never told them?"
Cliff looked at hands, knowing that he was currently in the very same situation that Clint was in. He sympathized with Clint's plight, admiring him for having the guts to do what so many couldn't. "Yes," Cliff said deliberately, he eyes meeting hers.
Sue Ellen looked at him in awe, "Oh, Cliff."
"You don't have to say anything, Sue Ellen. Any chance I had with you was lost a long time ago." Cliff took her hand, "I let my career, and your husband control me, I made my choice, and now I need to deal with the consequences."
"Cliff," Sue Ellen said quietly, "I never knew that I meant that much to you."
"I didn't realize it either, until it was too late."
"I'm sorry for hurting you, Cliff, for you having to carry this burden for so long."
"Wounds heal, Sue Ellen. Someday, I will get over you, I don't know when or how, but it will happen."
"I know for a fact that you will find someone incredible to spend your life with," Sue Ellen reassured. "You are too good to end up alone."
"You need to see him again, Sue Ellen." "You need to see Clint and you need to talk to him."
"I have so many doubts. I still can't get over the way things ended between us."
"He seemed genuinely sorry for what happened."
"I need J.R. first. Before I go to Clint, I need to see my husband. He deserves that much." Sue Ellen buried her face in her hands, "I can't even think about what he's going through right now."
Cliff scowled at the mention of J.R.'s name. "How can you be so worried about him, after everything he's done to you?"
"Because he is my husband, I made a vow to love and honor him ten years ago, and I haven't been honest with him. I have kept my relationship with Clint hidden; I have kept my feelings for him hidden. He wants another chance."
"Does he deserve it? After every single affair, every lie, every broken promise, does he deserve you?"
"Cliff, one of the biggest mistakes that I could make, is allowing J.R.'s previous actions to destroy my future with him. In the past, I have been so blindsided by hate that I have driven myself to drink, have affairs, and neglect my son. If I keep hating him, I will end up destroying myself, and I can't do that."
"Do you think he loves you?"
"He loved me enough to let me go without a fight. He knew that this was what I needed, and he let me leave, regardless of how he felt. Clint, he put himself first. I can never forgive him for the way he acted towards me. Clint never came back for me after the death of his wife. He had so many opportunities to come to Dallas and find me – there were nights when I needed him – but he never came."
"I've never known J.R. to be the selfless type, Sue Ellen."
Sue Ellen smiled, "No offense, Cliff, but you don't exactly have an impartial view on my husband."
"After everything he's done to me – and to you – can you blame me for not trusting him?"
"Cliff, I know that the past can never be erased, but J.R. has taken great pains to changing his entire attitude towards me. I think he really wants us to be together."
"No one knows J.R. the way you do, Sue Ellen. You've been married to him for so long, you know him better than I ever could."
"I just can't give up on J.R., not without talking to him first."
Cliff nodded his head, understanding where Sue Ellen was coming from. "What you need right now, is to relax, get your body heat back up to normal, and reflect on being a mother."
J.R. entered his Cadillac Allante, needing desperately to get out of the house. He didn't want to believe that Sue Ellen could be happier with another man, that any other person could take his place in her heart.
The town was unusually quiet as J.R. drove, not caring where he was going. He hated to admit that one person held so much power over him, consumed all of his thoughts, without whom, life would be insignificant. His daddy had taught him how to be a 'man's man', not allowing any other person to control him or his actions. But Sue Ellen was different, the exception to every rule his daddy ever taught him. He needed her – he hated to admit it – but she gave him the drive to go each day. It was her smile, her laugh, her kindness, her beauty, he felt whole when she was with him. Sue Ellen was more than just a trophy wife, or the 'Ewing possession' that he often called her, she was his other half, without whom, he would be empty.
She had to hear it from him; he had to tell her everything that his pride and power taught him to ignore. It was more than just a passing infatuation; it was pure, unadulterated love, worship.
He would give up everything he had to have Sue Ellen come back to Southfork as his wife, to be the first person to see her in the morning and give her a morning kiss. To have run into his arms to greet him after a hard day at the office, and spent evenings together with their son.
J.R. was going to be vulnerable, but at this point he didn't care. If vulnerability and honesty would win Sue Ellen's heart and affections, then he would let down every single wall that he ever created.
Ewing 3 sped down the local streets, one of the many advantages to an unusually small amount of traffic. The silence suited him well, he had time to organize his thoughts and focus on what really mattered.
The local streets were vacant, everyone out with their loved ones, J.R. muttered, realizing that he had pushed his 'loved one' away from him. There were however, a pair of people, a man and woman, at the end of the street, standing in front of a cheerily lit house. Driving closer, J.R. realized that the woman looked eerily familiar, someone he had known all of his life. He edged closer, not wanting her to see him, her long dark hair sparkling in the moonlight. J.R. let out a harsh gasp when he saw the mystery woman.
"Cliff, I can't thank-you enough for tonight," Sue Ellen smiled.
"I want you to call me if anything happens," Cliff said.
J.R. fumed at the woman that he called his wife. It wasn't enough that she left him with no explanation, breaking his heart in the process, but she was seeing other men. His suspicions were right; he didn't need a private detective to tell him that his wife was stepping out on him. He looked through the front windshield, desperately seeking the man that was violating his wife, but her body was blocking him. J.R.'s heart stopped beating when he saw that the man was none other than Cliff Barnes. How could she go back to Cliff Barnes? Of all the men in Texas, Cliff Barnes! J.R. angrily drove away, not wanting to see any more.
Sue Ellen watched Cliff drive away as she rubbed her fingers over her stomach. Another baby she mused, realizing that it was too late to do anything but accept it.
J.R. drove home, ignoring the stop signs and traffic as he headed back to Southfork, his mind clouded with anger over Sue Ellen's actions. He was in love with her, in love with a woman who didn't love him back, who sought comfort with other men.
J.R. looked at the list of contacts that Dan Marsh gave him a few days ago, remembering the eager investigator willing to do his bidding. He loved her too much to follow her, to once again invade her privacy behind her back. For years, she had trusted him with all of her heart, not wanting to believe that he would ever cause her pain. How could he underhandedly try to control her? With a few quick motions, he ripped the paper into tiny pieces, deciding to respect Sue Ellen's privacy, no matter how angry he was at her. He opened the car window, and threw the remains out the window, sprinkling the ground like confetti or snow.
"Cliff Barnes!" J.R. shouted, slamming his hands on the steering wheel, "that son-of-a-bitch has done enough to Ewing Oil in one year and now he wants my wife!"
The car sped into the driveway at Southfork, barely missing Bobby's vehicle. J.R. jumped out of the car, swearing under his breath.
"J.R.!" Miss Ellie shouted, running out of the house, "J.R., what happened?"
"Did something happen at the office?" Jock questioned, his forehead crinkling.
"I don't want to talk about it," J.R. grumbled, meeting Pamela on the stairs. "Do you have any idea what that idiot brother of yours has done?" he demanded, his blue eyes glaring into Pam's green ones. He had her cornered on the stairs, refusing to let her pass. "I should have taken care of him years ago!"
"J.R," Bobby scolded, running onto the stairs to protect Pam, "I don't know what happened to you tonight, but you have no right to take it out on Pam. Why don't you go sleep it off and we'll talk in the morning."
J.R. wasn't in the mood for arguing, or for a confrontation. He pushed past Bobby and headed up the stairs.
"Bobby, I'm worried about him," Pam said as she watched J.R. leave.
"Honey, you have nothing to worry about, I won't let J.R. touch Cliff, he's safe."
"It's not Cliff that I'm worried about," she said, pulling Bobby into the kitchen.
"Don't tell me you've begun to worry about J.R.?" Bobby laughed, appalled by Pam's concern.
"Do you know what he's been going through, now that Sue Ellen is gone?"
Bobby sighed, "I know that the temporary separation isn't easy on him, but J.R. is the type of person who usually keeps his feelings to himself. I try not to intervene."
"Maybe someone should, Bobby. He's obliviously upset."
"Talking to him now won't do anyone any good, Pam. He's too upset."
Pam closed her eyes, "I think Cliff is connected to Sue Ellen."
"What!" Bobby exclaimed. "How do you figure that?"
"Well, it can't be business related, Cliff has been working so hard on building his own practice that he hasn't had time to fight the Ewings. And then there's the conversation that I had with J.R. about an hour and a half ago."
"You talked to J.R?"
"Bobby, he is broken over Sue Ellen's departure, he misses her."
"And you think that J.R. knows about Cliff and Sue Ellen?"
"Maybe he hired a detective, or maybe he spotted them together, or maybe he's just taking a shot in the dark, but it is plausible."
"I suppose so, they do have a history together."
"That's not the only reason, Bobby," Pam said slowly, recalling a previous conversation that she had shared with Sue Ellen. She had alluded to another man in her life, while the two were talking a week ago. Pam wondered if Cliff were the mysterious suitor. Surely Sue Ellen knows better than to get involved with Cliff again, after how poorly their affair turned out last time, what reason could she have to see him again? But then, history does have a way of repeating itself.
"Pam?" Bobby gently questioned, drawing her out of her thoughts, "what's the other reason?"
"Other reason?" Pam asked, not wanting to expose her conversation with Bobby right away, not until she talked to Sue Ellen first. Pam believed in being completely honest with Bobby, but if told Bobby about the conversation that she had with Sue Ellen, that would destroy the new-found relationship. Plus, Pam wasn't entirely certain of the affair, and if she said the wrong thing there were would be a great deal of trouble for both families. And the last thing Pam wanted was to add fuel to the Barnes-Ewing feud.
"Why do think that Cliff and Sue Ellen are having an affair?"
"Women's intuition," Pam said lamely, not wanting to go any further.
"Should I talk to him?"
"Not now, Bobby. It's getting late, and he's too upset to listen."
"I can bring it up at the office tomorrow," Bobby said confidently, hoping to temporarily put the issue to rest.
J.R. paced the room, his anger slowly subsiding. It's true, the Ewings are cursed with bad tempers. J.R. picked up the wedding day photograph, Sue Ellen looks just as lovely ten years ago as she does now. She has aged beautifully. J.R. put the picture, in the bedside drawer, the contents too painful to look at. Does Cliff Barnes make her happy? Would she be better off with him then with me? J.R. recalled the discussion he had with Pam earlier that night, her never answering his question about whether Sue Ellen would be happier with someone else.
He loved her too much to see her miserable, and too much to live life without her. It was an ugly situation: he could try to keep here, do right by her and be happy, while she remained a prisoner, or he could let her go, sacrificing his own joy for hers. Damn, there is no perfect answer he muttered in this thoughts, throwing the covers over his body.