A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

Rating: M

Word Count: 8, 116

Chapter Ten

Previously on Battle Scars:

I meet Eric's knowing gaze and sneer at him before tossing my head and joining the rest of the group.

Screw him...

...oh, if only I didn't want to so badly...

After my encounter with Eric, the rest of the month continues surprisingly smoothly.

I make progress on my truck in Mechanical Training, rise through the ranks in Eric's classes and claiming the top spots, working with Tori in Tattoo Assistance and working through my fears. I have faced them all and brought my time down to 15:49.60 but it isn't enough to edge Ellie out of spot number one, only get me to spot 2. It frustrates me. I adore Ellie but I hate losing. That is where my fear of failure gets me every time.

I go into the sim room and just as I am about to go under, I feel fear at failing and that slows down my reaction time in the first fear. It sucks but I am reluctantly impressed at Ellie. She has come so far from her peaceful Amity fields. Her and Ander are going strong, regularly getting caught making out. Ellie has long since gotten over blushing at being caught and Ander always has this self-satisfied/awed look on his face every time he looks her way.

A few other members of our group are hooking up but Raza, Sam, Tabby, Zander, Izzy and I are all still single. I see Izzy and Sam spending more time together though and Zander is almost always watching Tabby with a confused and contemplating face. I guess he found out about her crush on him. Tabby is both pleased and mortified at the reason for his attention. It is a bit of a sore spot with her.

Raza and I are the only truly single ones.

We are also almost tied for second spot in Stage Two, a source of friendly competition.

I make my way into the Pit, spotting my friends and joining them as they cheerfully greet me. I roll my eyes at Sam and Izzy, seeing them sitting close beside each other and laugh as Ellie makes out with Ander. He pulls back to shoot me a dirty look but grins. Him, Sam and Ty are still a bit sore about all the pranking we did.

We started off with hiding under their beds at night and grabbing at their ankles as they went to go to the bathroom. The amount of times we did that and they still screeched and flailed was an endless source of amusement but not as much as when we would sneak up beside their beds and just stand over them with a dagger. Mike once got punched by a flailing Sam for that little stunt.

Then there was the time when one of us put on a mask and jumped out from behind the door. I swear I thought Ander was going to wet himself. One time Ellie pretended to accidentally cut her hand and sprayed Ander with ketchup. His face was so horrified when I scooped up some and ate it that we all burst out laughing.

Other members of Dauntless joined in with the pranking but the best one was the time Amar dressed up really scary and snuck up really obviously on Ty. We all watched avidly as Ty caught him and scolded him before turning around, coming face-to-face with Four, screaming loudly and passing out. There was a moment of complete silence and then all hell broke loose. Everyone was laughing so hard, slipping off benches, clutching stomachs, crying from laughter, it was beautiful.

For hours after that, there would be random bursts of laughter as the memory popped up in our heads.

Ty wasn't too happy about that but he was okay with it, knowing it was all in good spirit. We weren't doing it to be cruel but rather to create laughter and eventually, he too was able to laugh at it. In part thanks to Misty's picture of absolute comical terror on his face before he passed out.

I snort, thinking of that prank and Ty turns, glaring at me. I laugh at him, Ellie pulling away to giggle with me. We exchange gleeful grins. Small snorts are passed down the table as Four walks up and Ty flinches a little. I clap a hand over my mouth, giggling into Raza's shoulder. He chuckles with me, remembering the humorous sight.

"Listen up initiates!" Four calls, a grin twitching at his mouth before he smooths it out and nods at Eric. "Today we are doing something different. Follow us and try not to get lost." Four orders and takes off. We scramble to get up, jogging after him. To my surprise, he doesn't continue farther into Dauntless but rather along one of the paths that circle around the Pit. I exchange anticipatory glances with everyone as we get closer and closer to the top

We climb some stairs with Four, everyone look around curiously. We are now walking on the glass floor overlooking the Pit and I feel a small shiver of fear run down my back before shoving it away. My eyes are wide as I look at the bustling activity up here. Dauntless are in clusters, talking, wrestling and practicing with their weapons. I spot someone with a bow and arrow shooting a target and my eyes widen. Eric mentioned something about that in our next lesson tonight and anticipation stirs in me. Above us, two ropes stretch across the room like in the obstacle course and a female is crossing the rope, holding onto the one above her head for balance.

We cross the room with Four and I smile as I see Jett sparring with Lyrica. He grins back, winking at me, the silver of his necklace peaking out through his shirt. I smirk when I see he still has it on, rolling my eyes playfully at him and waving to Lyrica as we trail after Four into a dank room with exposed pipes.

"In this room, you all will be experiencing something called a fear landscape. It isn't working right now so you can't try it out just yet. The fear landscape will access the data we have stored on your fear simulations and will present your fears to you as an obstacle to get past. Depending on who you are, you may have new fears, less fears, more fears or old fears. The difference between this and the sims is you will have your wits about you. You will be fully aware that this is not real but the mind has an uncanny ability to overwhelm logic so keep that in mind. You will all be facing a varying number of fears, depending on who you are and how many fears you have yet to conquer. This will be your final stage. Like I said before, this stage will focus on your mental ability, just like Stages one and two focused on physical and emotional ability. This will combine stages one and two into one practical final test." Four says confidently and Eric steps forward.

"Next week you will all go through your fear landscape in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders, myself included. The one with the fastest time will be the most likely to win so I would advise you to keep that in mind. This will determine your ranking for stage three. This is the most important stage of all of them as it can also determine what you will be doing- if anything- after your final rankings. There is only two ways to get past your fear. You face it or you calm yourself down. I suggest you take the time to think about all of your fears. You will have the rest of today off." Eric finishes and nods brusquely at us before striding out of the room and leaving.

Once again he is back to denying anything and everything between us.

I huff and bite back a sigh. I split up from the group as they head to the Pit to party. I make my way to the room, grabbing my paper and pencil pack before heading to the Tattoo Parlor. I nod at Tori, who is tattooing Mike. I grin at my fellow initiate, not pausing and heading into the Drawing Room. I open my paper, shutting the door behind me and going over to a desk. For the longest time, I stare at the blank sheet of paper but nothing comes to mind.

Sighing, I toss the pencil down and rub my face tiredly with my hands. Anxiety is swirling inside me at the thought of not only finally facing my fears but facing my fears in front of the Dauntless Leaders- in front of Eric. Especially since he is in a few of my fears. I throw myself down on the red velvet couch, staring up at the dark ceiling. I don't know how I am going to do this.

I sign again and roll on my side, stretching out on the couch, shaking out my long curls, pulling off my baggy sweatshirt, kicking off my shoes and socks and slowing my breathing. Before long, I am deep asleep stretched out on the couch.

xXXXx

I sigh sleepily, little jolts of pleasure sweeping up my spine.

Not wanting to give up this dream, I keep my eyes closed and stay in this dreamy world. Lips brush my bare shoulder as fingers slowly push my tank top up, tracing my hips and stomach with heated fingers. I sigh, arching into his broad chest.

"Eric..." I breathe softly and the fingers pause before lips touch down on mine. I open my mouth willingly under a questing tongue as he gently teases me, swirling his tongue around mine. I moan softly, submitting to the fiercely gentle kiss as his fingers trail up into my hair. I open my legs willingly as I feel his muscled body gently touch my knees and he settles in with a quiet growl.

He pulls my tank top down, revealing my lacy chest and I wait, the anticipation killing me. I trace his abs, the muscles clenching under my gentle hands. I slip my fingers under his shirt, gently thumbing his muscles and moving my hands slowly up his chest. I reach his nipples and gently circle them, causing a shuddering growl to be released as hot kisses are being pressed to my chest.

I arch closer into him, hooking my legs around his waist and slotting us together perfectly. My eyes roll behind closed eyelids as I feel his throbbing erection press against my heated core and he rolls his hips against mine. A soft mewl escapes me and my mouth is gently probed open, his tongue slipping in and starting a slow, languid kiss. I run my nails down his chest, slipping my hands out from under his shirt and into his hair. I scrape my nails over the shorter sides and tug gently on the longer blonde hair on top.

Our bodies curve together like we were made to be together as a slow fire burns inside of us. His thumb sweeps gently over my jaw, small kisses following his fingers and sucking gently on my earlobe. My breath catches as I arch closer to him, pressing us closer together. Commandingly, he settles his weight onto me, holding me in place as he tilts my head to the side and slides his hot mouth over my salty skin, suck and gently scraping his teeth over my pulse. I gently sink my nails into his neck causing him to jolt and brush against me.

I open my mouth, gentle pants escaping me as his fingers wind through my dark curls, gently grabbing a fistful and tugging my head back. He explores my neck with his heated mouth, marking and tasting languidly. I whimper, needing him. I reach my hand between us, reaching for his erection but his hand clamps down on my wrist, dragging it up above my head and holding me hostage. I wiggle my hips but he uses his own to pin them down.

"Don't. Let me take care of you." He whispers huskily, burning lust in his voice and I moan, my head falling back again as I submit to him. He grows impossibly harder against my core, rocking forward. Pleasure races through me as he rolls his hips steadily. I toss my head, feeling the coil tighten but then he stills his hips.

"More." I moan and Eric's muscles shift against mine as he leans down and swirls his tongue on the tops of my breasts. "Yesss." I hiss tranquilly, darting forward and nipping at his throat. Eric curses, dragging a rougher kiss out of me as he drops a hand down and slides it under my bra. He circles a nipple, pinching and teasing until I whine into his mouth. "Eric..." I moan again and his breath comes faster.

"Paz..." He groans back, my name uttered hoarsely with burning need and barely there restraint. I need to test him so I rock my hips forward, opening my mouth invitingly. There is a pause and I flick my tongue out teasingly and then he snaps. He roughly tugs my head back by my hair, dominating my mouth sweetly.

He moves against me smoothly, his heated fingers trialing down my side until they slip under my waistband. My breath catches as he traces my sex with his fingers and then I moan throatily as two thick fingers sink in. My head falls back as my mouth falls open, small pants escaping. He pulls his fingers out slowly and pumps them back in, reaching deeper. I writhe slowly under his ministrations, tugging away from his iron grip on my wrists.

When he releases, I dart forward, burying my fingers in his soft blond hair, tugging gently and pulling him into a deep kiss. I swirl my tongue around his, nipping playfully and his fingers curl deep in me, pulling a long moan out of me and Eric groans into my mouth, pressing in faster. I arch into him, scratching his neck as I wrap our mouths together. He presses closer, curling his fingers and hitting that one special spot.

"Oh!" I moan breathily and he freezes before brushing that spot again. Ecstasy washes over me and he slips in another finger in, pumping them deeper and curling them. I can do nothing but accept the pleasure washing over me. Eric laughs huskily, his lips closing around my pulse and sucking hard, scraping his teeth over the skin on my neck and I snap. Bliss washes in waves over me and a sleepy feeling washes stronger over me as Eric strokes me gently before pulling his fingers out.

His fingers press against my lips and I open them willingly, surprised at the salty taste. Regardless, I clean his fingers thoroughly, swirling my tongue between his fingers and taking them deep in my mouth. His breath comes in pants and I reach for his throbbing erection but a gentle hand stops me.

"What about you?" I whisper, never wanting to wake up from this dream as Eric's laughter rumbles in his chest.

"I can take care of me. I've been doing it for a while now." Eric whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to my neck and then his weight is slowly lifting off me. I frown sleepily, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling his cheek. He freezes, tense and hard. I can sense the shock in his body language at the affectionate gesture that up until now, has been only ever granted to Jett.

"But I want to take care of you." I whisper, nipping his jaw and Eric's breath catches before he gently untangles my arms from his neck. He brushes a gentle finger down my cheek on the butterfly tapes and I nuzzle his hand.

"One day." He promises. "Go back to sleep." He tells me quietly and I grab his hand, holding it to my cheek.

"Stay." I say drowsily and he pauses before scooping me up and settling me on his chest. "Thank you." I whisper, pressing a gentle kiss to his chest and allowing myself to fall away.

XXX

I wake up slowly, curled on the couch.

A flash of a sleepy dream makes me look around but I am the only one in here. I sigh with disappointment but get up, moving to the desk. The throb between my legs is gone and I feel curiously sated. I flush, thinking I might have taken care of myself in my sleep. I don't know how I can face Tori, knowing what I did with myself in the heated throes of a dream.

For a moment, an almost painful longing for it to have really been Eric surprises me before I shove it away.

I grab my pad of paper and pencils, zipping the case shut and turning to leave. I shake my shoulders out, raising my head and striding determinedly to the door. I slow in my movements, noticing my shoes have been moved from in front of the couch. I frown, slipping them on and seeing my sweater tossed over the coffee table. I could have sworn I had left it tucked under my head. I must have had a nightmare. I move around a lot when I do. I sigh, shrugging it on and turning to go. My gaze falls on my image in the mirror and I pause. I step closer, tugging the collar of my sweater down and my eyes widen.

I have a hickey on my neck.

I yank the door open and stride out, my wide eyes easily spotting the blonde Dauntless leader getting a tattoo on his arm. I step closer, his gaze meeting mine blankly. I snap my mouth shut, ignoring Tori's questioning glance. I look down at his tattoo and my eyes widen even more when I see what he is getting.

He is having Tori ink in the nail marks I left on his shoulders.

My breath hitches as I dart my gaze up to his. He watches me with bold look, his clenched fist giving away a sign of nerves. I blink rapidly, curiosity and confusion spiraling through me.

"Did you-" I cut myself off, wetting my lips and glancing at Tori. Eric leans forward and catches my gaze in his burning gaze.

"I'll take care of myself." He quotes softly and my breath catches as I stare at him with wide eyes.

"But I want to." I mummer reflexively and he nods, settling back. In awe that my dream wasn't a dream, I turn and rush out of there, his gaze burning into my back the entire way.

XXX

"Listen up initiates. Your final rankings for Stage Two is up in your room. Tomorrow you will be doing Stage Three. You only have one shot, so make the most of it." With that said, Eric nods coldly at us and strides away, sitting beside Max and Four. I watch him curiously but Eric is back to ignoring me. I clench my fists under the table.

It is so frustrating.

That is the only time he has been the one to start something with me. Every other time I am the one who teases and flaunts myself until he snaps and dominates me. I frown, staring sightless down at my food. His hot and cold treatment hurts a little but I distract myself by turning to my group.

"Today, I will be getting tattoos. As you all know, I only have the one on my wrist that binds us as a group." I speak quietly, a gentle authority in my voice as I address them. "I have 11 tattoos I plan on getting. They signify my 14 fears. I plan on getting them today so they can remind me to be strong tomorrow. I am no longer going to held back by my fears. I plan on facing and conquering them all tomorrow. Because whether or not I make it, I am Dauntless through and through." I look around at my solemn group. "It has been an honor meeting all of you and growing together. I will never forget any of you." I say, looking each of them right in the eyes.

Zander and Tabby.

Sasha and Dean.

Izzy and Sam.

Ander and Ellie.

Emily and Blade.

Sandra and Razor.

Josh and Misty.

Raven and Mike.

Ry and Violette.

Andy and Howard.

Raza.

Jon and our still sick friend, Taylor. I feel a flash of pain, knowing even if she pulls through, she will be condemned to the Factionless for her score of 0. I know though that Jon is fiercely devoted to her and will follow when she goes. As is, he will be cut anyway because of his low ranking. He will be going with Sandra and Razor. I feel pain throb in my heart. I am not particularly close to those three but I do know they are courageous and loyal and that the world is a truly twisted place, no matter what you do to change it.

I raise my glass in salute to the three and they salute back, understanding the toast.

I can't save them.

It was risky enough the first time I did it for the first six to be cut but I cannot do it again. We have been informed that if anything of the like happens again, they start shooting the initiates until they find who endangered on of their senior leaders, Max. They have a look of peace in their eyes though that I envy. They look like they have accepted their fate with a grace few posses.

Pride swells in my heart as I finish my food and take care of my tray, friends silently following as we pass by the Leaders table. I pause, my friends stopping behind me. I watch them critically. Max, Eric, Angel (a female Dauntless Leader), Sienna (another female Dauntless Leader) and Conner, the final Dauntless Leader watching us curiously back.

After a moment, I slowly, regally tilt my head in a bow. I raise a fist and clasp it to my chest, right over my heart in a silent confession of loyalty. I don't have to look to know my group is following my example. After an appropriate pause, I straighten out and stride past them, lengthening my stride into a light jog, the thud of boots behind me allowing me to grin; knowing my group is with me the whole way.

We silently stream through the tunnels, experiencing everything to the fullest as we come to a stop in the tattoo parlor. Tori grins, knowing from the look on my face what I want. She pulls me to her work space and for the next 14 hours, I sit quietly and allow Tori to paint my tattoos on me.

Fear of Burning Alive/Fear of Drowning

It starts out thin on the bottom and swells out, curving like a wave but the water has the unmistakable small curves and licks of flames. The blue flames are outlined with black, lending it an edgy look. It will curve up from above my right hipbone and stop just under my boob.

Fear of Being Buried Alive/Fear of Betrayal

A slightly smudged, thin, curved trees with few branches and patches of leaves. Three of them curve out of a small dark patch of dirt. The smudge makes it look ominous and it's all in black and dark shades of gray. It goes on my left hip. It will rise from the small plot of dirt on my hipbone.

Fear of the Future/Having no Control

Tori uses looping letters and copies it from my paper: Come what may. Something that will help me with my need for control. It goes on the back of my left leg, on the calf.

Fear of Pain/Father

The pain you feel today,

is the strength you feel tomorrow;

Never be a victim,

forever be a fighter.

This one will go on my right hipbone, right over my belly and it makes it seem like the flame/wave is rising from my words of strength.

Fear of Falling with no one there to catch me.

Sometimes you wake up.

Sometimes the fall kills you.

And sometimes, when you fall,

you fly.

This one is going to be done in bold black block letters down the inside of my left forearm.

Fear of being Factionless

It is a shimmering golden-orange sun with the rays curling around each other and reaching out, the longest rays straight up, down and out the two sides. Set firmly in the middle is the orange-red Dauntless flames on a black circle.

Fear of Failure

It says: never give up. It will go on my right hand along the inside of my ring finger.

Fear of Snakes

A slender black snake encircling my right wrist above the howling wolf head. The snake will bite its own tail, signifying life goes on.

Fear of Birds

Is a long black feather with light blue highlights along the outside of my right ankle.

And last:

Fear of Dying

It goes under my sunburst dauntless tattoo on my heart. It is two simple words: choose life.

Tori finally pulls away and wipes away the last of the blood and ink. Quiet pride gleams in her dark eyes as she looks me over and nods in approval. I slowly get up and look.

I look fearless, all tattooed.

I look Dauntless.

XXX

Stage Two Rankings

1 - Ellie

2 - Paz

3 - Dean

4 - Ander

5 - Tabby

6 - Raza

7 - Sam

8 - Mike

9 - Misty

10 - Zander

Izzy

Josh

Sasha

Violette

Ty

Blade

Andy

Raven

Emily

Howard

Sandra

Jon

Razor

Taylor

XXX

When I wake up the next day, I lay in my bed, staring up at the bottom of the top bunk.

I feel completely at ease. There is a peaceful feeling washing over me and I realize this is how Sasha, Razor and Jon felt yesterday. I feel at peace; calm and fluid. I roll out of bed, the peaceful feeling reflected in my eyes and in my movements. I pull out what I am going to wear and lay it on my bed, leaving to take a shower. I notice that most everyone is already gone to the Pit, only a few of the girls left in the room.

I shower slowly, taking care to shave what I need, washing every inch of myself. I close my eyes and let the water run soothingly down my head, slithering over my shoulders and caressing the rest of my body. I sigh quietly, letting my head fall back as I arched under the water, letting it wipe the slate clean. Today, rankings don't mater. Personal strength does. Physical, Mental and Emotional.

I dry off, leaving the bathroom and dropping my towel to get dressed.

I slip on a pair of black underwear and then pull on jump suit. The sheer black lacy top has small crystal beads sewn into it so it catches the light. I wear no bra and the lace is layered over the plunging v neck over my boobs, only giving small hints. The lace is lighter on my sides so you can clearly see the tattoos that go down my sides. This sheer lace is sleeveless and connects flawlessly with sleek black shorts that hug my every curve. There is a concealed zipper on the side and the shorts make my legs look like they are miles long. I pull on a pair of sleek, chunky heeled black boots with two silver buckles on the ankle where they cut off.

I hook on Jett's phoenix necklace, the silver stunning against my skin and the black lace jumpsuit. I pull on a pair of sleek black finger-less gloves with a silver zipper down the side. I paint my nails a glossy black, letting it dry while I brush my eyelashes to their fullest length and swiping an electric blue line on my top lid and dusting sweet pink over it. The dazzling effect is my eyes are piercing and look dangerously innocent.

I brush out my glossy curls, the different shades highlighting my Dauntless. That done, I admire the picture I make. I look so very sophisticated, bold, innocent and sexy at the same time in my stunning jumpsuit. I nod, satisfied at my outfit and stride out of the room. I make my way to the piercing shop and enter it.

There is one lone person there and his eyes widen as he takes the sight of me in.

I give him my instructions and sit back. The small stinging pains lining both of my ears makes me tense a little. I admire the silver studs lining curve of my ears, a small but thick silver hoop at the tops, a small silver stud then a silver and black flower, a small silver stud, then a clear stud, a final tiny silver stud and then black studs.

I get two silver spider bite piercings in silver hoops side by side on my right bottom lip. I get a black hoop in my left nostril and top it off with a silver stud in my tongue. The pain radiating is eased by a salve rubbed on the tender flesh. The piercings take most of my points and I am lucky I have been building them up the past couple of months.

As I leave, I see nipple piercings and my eyebrows shoot up as a wicked idea curls in my mind.

But in end, I decide to forgo the nipple piercings...at least for now.

XXX

I reach the Pit and it is odd to see it so bare.

Turning, I look up and the glass ceiling is dark, covered with the booted feet of the Dauntless ready to watch our final Stage. I take a deep breath and twirl around on my heel, striding determinedly up the steps. I marvel at the easy way I traverse the steps, despite how far away it is, my muscles don't burn or show any other sign of tiring.

I am strong.

I push through the Dauntless gathered around three screens. One screen shows an initiate facing their fear (we can't see the fear, only the person), another screen shows the heart rate and the last screen shows her time. Every time she can calm herself, the screens flash green and the gathered Dauntless cheer.

Right now, I see Razor in the room.

I push through the crowd to the door and stride through, nodding at Four; who stares a moment before flushing and nodding me through. A small smirk curls around my red lips as I move in the room and the other initiates stare.

"Damn girl!" Raza whistles, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and tugging me over to the rest of them. I laugh a little and look fondly at my group.

"I want to feel Dauntless when I face my fears." I explain simply and they all nod, wide eyes lingering on the piercings and tattoos that cover my body. I sit down beside Ellie, grasping her hand tightly and she squeezes it, looking fearful but composed. "You are going to rule this." I whisper and she grins at me, tugging me into a hug. I hug her fiercely back, my little sister showing me all of her affection.

"Love you Paz." She whispers and I stiffen. I have only ever said that to one person. Jett and now...I take a deep breath and let it out, pulling back and looking her straight in the eye.

"I love you too, Ellie. A girl couldn't ask for a better sister or Dauntless companion." I tell her seriously and tears well in her eyes as a breathtaking smile spreads across her face. We sit together, cuddled against the wall as one by one, everyone goes in. And then it is just Ellie and I.

"Eleanor Robinson. You may come in now." Max calls and Ellie gets up, striding over to him.

"It's Ellie." She says coldly and swiftly lays down in the chair. He raises an eyebrow as I smile proudly at Ellie.

"Alright then."

I breathe slowly, watching the screens avidly. By my calculations, Ellie has about 15 fears. She moves quickly through them, more often than not calming herself in the face of her fears. When she finishes, pride and admiration burst through me. She has the fastest time.

14:49.58

By far the best time.

In order to keep my slot in second place, I need to get at least 15:36.29. I take a deep breath and stand up, waiting for my name to be called. Finally, the door is pulled open and I see Eric's brawny shoulders. His head is bowed over a tablet as he calls for me.

"Pazi-" He lifts his head and stares at me. I stride slowly over to him, his stunned gaze locked on my every movement. He swallows, a quick jerky movement before masking himself. "Pazia Reynolds, follow me." He says stiffly, his eyes lingering on the sly smirk curled on my red lips before he turns sharply and leads me into a different room. I move gracefully over to the chair and sit down, pulling my hair to the side and causing it to fall over my left eye. I look up at him as I run my hand through it and brush it back.

"Ready." I say demurely, baring my neck and heat flares in his eyes again. A wolfish smirk curls on his lips and I shiver a little but lay back. His fingers linger on my neck a moment before he presses the injection gun to it. He doesn't say anything to me but then he doesn't need to. I close my eyes and wait for it to work.

Gentle rocking motions alert me to my first fear. I sit up and open my eyes, I am on a life raft.

The sky is a beautiful blue, clouds drifting along; a fluffy white. I lay back, enjoying the gentle rocking of the sea waves. The wind gently ruffles my hair and I sigh happily, all my tension melting away. The sun warms me and keeps me calm. I hum lightly to myself, something I haven't done in years. The wind pulls at my hair and I laugh, not bothering to open my eyes. I fling my arms above my head and arch my back, settling back down sleepily. The wind picks up speed and I pout at having to open my eyes.

The raft rocks violently and I shoot up, grasping the rubber. I look up, the sky turning an ominous black with flashes of lightning. The raft rocks violently again and I whimper, afraid. The waves are growing bigger, swelling up and crashing down onto each other. I watch with wide eyes, the spray slapping me harshly in the face. The raft rocks again and a small scream escapes me.

Liquid gathers around my feet and I look down with horror. There is a small tear in the raft and I drop down, grasping the edges and desperately trying to keep them shut. I sigh as the water stops leaking through the blue raft but more water is pooling around my ankles. I look around, my eyes widening when I spot several more small tears that water is gushing through.

At a loss, I start scooping the water out frantically, fear making me sloppy. I slip and scream with fear as the raft splits open and I drop into the ocean. The cold water is a shock to my system and I cough violently, the salt water scraping my throat.

"Help!" I scream loudly, my head slipping under before I paddle myself back up to the surface. "HELP ME!" I scream out, crying. Tears stream down my face and mix with the sea. I slip under again and come up, coughing. "Help me! Somebody!" I cry out, my arms tiring. A large wave crashes over me and I tumble around like a leaf in the wind. Salt stings my eyes and little cuts appear all over my body. My blood swirls around me, strangely hypnotic but terror pounding through my veins makes me discard it. I start to swim, my lungs burning and pleading for air.

Pain radiates all over my body from the salt and cuts and I can barely focus. My heartbeat becomes louder and louder and I almost give in. I almost open my mouth and let the water take me away but a flare of defiance gives me strength and I renew my kicks and struggles.

I open my eyes, the salt stinging them and look around. My blood clouds the water but- there. A dark shape floats to my side and hope lights in my heart. I know how to swim. Back Before, Jett and I used to sneak over to Amity and play around in the lakes they had over there. I strike out, cupping my palms and kicking my feet.

I get closer, my lungs burning for air and finally reach it.

I realize it is a part of the floating raft as I struggle onto it, couching the burning saltwater from my lungs. I collapse onto my knees, noticing the burning of my cuts. The salt stings in them and the pain grows. I wipe at my arms frantically, my eyes widening when I see blue flames licking up my skin.

I scream, terror racing through me. I stumble to my feet, looking around. I am now in a forest and flames are circling me. I back away from the smothering heat, yelping and whirling around when I bump into a burning tree. I look around, the flames crawling towards me and I see a small, untouched tree.

I race over to it, climbing up.

For a moment, cool air envelopes me and then I yelp. I am tied up! I struggle against the ropes, the thick smoke invading my lungs and causing me to cough violently. I whimper with fear as the flames start to creep up the tree, coming closer and closer to my feet. I struggle against the ropes, yanking against them but I have no way to get free.

I scream, high and agonized.

The flames lick at my feet, eating my flesh. The flames make crackling, popping, hissing noises and I pant desperately. In the past, I have let myself be burned alive but now is different, I can do this. I look around, shoving the pain away as I have so often done in the past. I look down at the ropes and then look up. There.

I can see the glinting handle of a knife. Struggling, I purposefully cut my wrist on the rope, the slickness of my blood helping my hand slip free. I reach up and grab the knife, sawing the ropes and look at the flames defiantly. I bare my teeth and jump straight into the flames.

Blessed coolness washes over me and I sigh happily. The cushions underneath me providing comfort. A sound like gravel hitting the roof makes me furrow my brow and a sigh whooshes out of me. I reluctantly open my eyes, trying to be quiet so I don't wake up father. Gravel showers the roof again and I roll my eyes into the dark night.

I sit up and blinding pain erupts in my forehead.

I clap a hand to the sore spot and take deep breaths until the pain fades. Uncertainty resonates within me but I raise a shaking hand up anyway. About six inches up, my hand hits wood. I gently explore it, my breath coming in fearful pants and my heart in my throat.

I push against the smooth wood and hope alights in me when it gives a little. I push harder, and the top swings back. I scramble to my feet and look around. Sun shines down and I can clearly see the four walls of dirt. A shower of something hits my head and I shake it onto the white fabric that is in...a coffin. I notice the dirt fall from my head and slowly look up.

My Mother, Father, Jett, Ander, Ellie, Misty, Violette, Sam, Mike, Ty, Taylor, Raza, Dean, Josh, Sasha, Izzy and Ander stand around my grave with stoic faces. Then, in one smooth movement, seventeen shovels of dirt rain down on me. I stumble back, hitting one of the walls of my grave as the horror mounts inside of me.

"Stop!" I shout, but they show no sign of hearing me. More dirt rains down and I am frozen with horror. My feet won't move and I can't say anything. I look pleadingly at their faces, fear and sorrow winning the battle in my heart as they bury me alive. I shove the dirt off myself and struggle up. I wait and time the right moment. As they tilt the shovel in, I grab one and use it to swing myself out of the grave, tossing Zander in. I whirl, anger flaring boldly in my brilliant blue eyes.

"You are not my family!" I shout, and attack them. I shove and push them into the grave and then shovel dirt in. When I have filled the dirt in, I plant the shovel on top and hold my arms out to the sky. "This doesn't scare me! I will never let this happen to myself."

Abruptly, I am in a room, cowering.

I slowly raise my head, looking around uncurling. I am home. My room looks the same as always. Inspiration posters of Jenine Mathews line my walls, my bed is neatly made, and my books are lined from tallest to shortest in my bookcases. I relax a little, sitting on my bed and smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles.

A loud noise causes me to flinch and I slowly slip off the bed, padding over to my door. Uncertainly, I reach out for the nob, my hand shaking...

The door bursts open and I scream, flinching back as my father storms in.

"-anything less than an 'A' and you get beaten!" He roars and my disbelieving eyes fix on my first ever B. I stare in shock. I have never in my entire life gotten anything other than an A. Especially on a written paper. The teachers always praised my eloquent writing and persuasive thinking. "Are you listening to me?!" My father roars, shredding the paper and advancing on me. "You will listen!" He hisses, drawing back his foot and slamming it into my ribs.

A loud cracking noise rings out and I scream with pain, my vision going grey. He draws back his foot and kicks me again and again. I sobbed quietly as I lay helpless, and weak. Then my fingers fall to my tattoo and I struggle to my feet. For a moment, my father watches me as I shake from head to toe.

"You scare me." I admit in a wavering voice. "But you don't have to paralyze me with fear anymore. I know how to protect myself and I will not let you hurt me. Not anymore." I shake my head and throw my shoulders back defiantly, an arrogant tilt to my chin."I am Dauntless. And Dauntless are never weak." He roars with rage and rushes at me. For a moment, I tense in fear but I duck the punch and tackle him around the waist. "YOU. WILL. NEVER. HURT ME. EVER. AGAIN!" I shout, my fists shooting out and bloodying his face. I hit him and the bone giving way under my anger drives my blood-lust higher.

I hit him harder, needing to cause him pain. Then his skull gives way and I pound his brain to mush. When I finally step away from his body, I straighten up and sneer down at him.

"I am no longer scared of you. I can do this anytime." Then I turn and stride away from him, blood dripping from my hands.

My vision fades out and I wake up in a classroom.

"What is the excuse for this?" My teacher questions, holding up a paper with a red B in bold on the front. My eyes widen and fear races through me. "You failed!" She shouts as fear runs through me.

'Failed.'

'Failure.'

Her voice echoes and all of a sudden, I am on top of a building, my friends surrounding me.

"Guys?" I question and they back away from me.

"We don't associate with failures." Tabby sneers and I flinch. I scan the group, fear writhing sickeningly in my gut.

"Ellie?" I ask and my voice is soft, child-like. But her blue eyes look at me with cold contempt.

"Failure." She hisses and they pick up the chant as she steps towards me.

"Failure, failure, failure, failure." They chant as she stops in front of me.

"No one will be there to catch you." She whispers and I frown, confused. Then a scream rips its way out of my throat as her hands shoot out and for one moment, I am suspended in the air. Then gravity takes over and I plummet to the ground. The wind rips cruelly at my hair, slapping me in the face and tossing me around.

My heart races faster and faster as I pass each floor, a friend watching me cruelly from each level. Fear races through me and I scream. But then I look at my arm. "Sometimes when you fall, you fly." I mummer and my eyes widen. "Of course! " I laugh. " I need to fly. " I hold my arms out and close my eyes, refusing to look down. I let the wind comb through my hair and laugh as I slow down. I open my eyes and see I am in a zip line sling. I pull the latch and drop, landing lightly on my feet...

...I am in a room with my mother, Ellie, Jett and Eric tied to chairs. I try to rush to them, but my feet are stuck to the ground. I struggle frantically and they watch with sad eyes behind their gags. I struggle, punching the air, the complete lack of control I have over the situation washing over me. I scream to them, begging for someone, anyone to come. I break down, sobbing and the moment I do, a gun appears on the floor in front of me.

"Two bullets." A voice whispers and I whirl around, but no one is there. I face forward and Ellie is out of the chair, right in front of me. "Shoot them. You can only save one and I am already lost." She says and smiles with bloody teeth, a wound on her chest and blood rapidly spreading around the edges. I scream with fear, cradling her body. "Shoot or loose them all." She whispers and I grab the gun, my hands shaking. I face the three.

My mother smiles sadly at me, and my heart lurches.

"I am so sorry Mama!" I cry, suddenly 5 years old again. "But you are already dead and I need to save him!" I slowly raise the gun, my hands shaking and my vision blurry. I blink the tears back, never knowing what to do. In the end, I take a deep breath, ready to pull the trigger as I calm myself and shoot- my mother slumping ungracefully over, her eyes blank and dead.

A small cry escapes me and I suck in a deep breath.

I turn to the two men watching me. Jett's dark eyes meet mine and I smile tearfully at him. I look at Eric, my heart thudding faster. His blue eyes are cold and composed, his eyebrows drawn over the blue orbs. I take a deep breath and raise the gun again.

"I have feelings for you." I whisper brokenly, clicking the safety off the gun. "But I am not in love with you. Maybe one day though." I laugh a sob, tears burning in my eyes and a tear in my heart. "One day. I'm sorry. Good bye, Eric."

And I pull the trigger.

Yay! I love my reviewers. They make me grin.

MyhusbandsaPRICK - Hey, that's okay. I'm just glad you got caught up on my story! Ha, I agree- I'd spar with Eric any day if that is the outcome!

zammy156 chapter - Yeah, but the thing with Eric, is he has problems with giving in and that is definitely what he would be doing if he went after Paz. Because that is definitely what she wants!

Gw82 - Thanks and I don't know how you guys do it! If I was reading a story like this, the tension would kill me!

Guest - Ha! Glad you like Roman. I didn't even know I was going to include him but Paz wanted someone to screw..with Eric's head. He has an iron-clad hold on his restraint but Paz has no trouble pushing that.

Friggatriskaidekaphobia - I'm glad! Thanks for reviewing!

binderya22 - Speechless? Awesome! And yes, you aren't the only one to think their tension is wild! ;)

And last but never least, a big thank you to those of you that fav/followed my story!

Tinselr8, ZrH221, starlightning0, rachel1819, ktlv, BexMoore and binderya22

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