A/N: Update time! Thank you to Healed535, StarBolt1966 and Guest for your reviews! Hope you all enjoy this next chapter.

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The king sighed and forced himself to chew another piece of bread. He hated long trips like this now. They were quiet and depressing. His knights were always friendly and respectful but he was aware he'd pushed them away over the last few months and they had naturally started to excluded him from their jokes and conversations. There was no malice, if he did ever join in they were always open and happy to include him but he rarely did and it was no longer with the ease that had been the hallmark of their friendship before.

He knew it was a bad habit. He'd had enough lectures off Gwen to know that, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. No one was to be trusted. There were lies and secrets everywhere. Some were inconsequential, others...others were soul-destroying. And he was clearly an appalling judge of character. He had no right to even guess who in this world could be trusted fully. There had been a time when he knew he was right about one person but Merlin had turned out to be the biggest liar of all. So now he had no one. He trusted Gwen with all his heart but occasionally he couldn't help but remember that even with her, there was a limit to her faithfulness.

At least when he was on short patrols or dealing with the day-to-day running of the kingdom he was usually distracted enough not to dwell but on long trips like this one, when his men relaxed enough to start talking and laughing, he realised how much he'd lost all those months ago.

It was his own fault. He should never have grown so attached to anyone, never mind a servant. He was king and kings should be strong and independent - aloof. But he wasn't. He hadn't been for a long time. Not since the day he realised he really did care whether his annoying idiot of a servant lived or died. Even now, he still caught himself turning to say something to the man when they were on patrol, still expected to see him mucking out the stables, still found himself expecting him to be polishing his armour while he and the knights were training. He hadn't even been able to tell anyone the truth about Merlin. It had been so tempting - he could have revealed the lying servant's secret, made an example of him that not even the King's own manservant was above the laws of magic, but he couldn't. In the end, the same friendship that had made him spare Merlin's life had stopped him revealing his secret to any but Gwen. After all, what good it do? Nothing would change what had happened and despite himself, he couldn't bring himself to destroy his former friend's reputation. It was pathetic.

He wondered if Emrys was out there watching him. He was no fool, once he knew what he was looking for, it was obvious that they had been receiving outside aid. The ambush by Odin's men earlier that week was a perfect example - that many men did not just trip over tree branches and knock themselves out. Almost certainly, the old sorcerer was there, watching this very moment. Frustration burned in his throat and he forced down the urge to shout something offensive at the surrounding vegetation.

He'd told Emrys to leave him alone six months ago. The old man had sneaked into his chambers the morning after...his run in with Gaius, while he'd been picking through his breakfast. How a doddering old man consistently managed to sneak past all the castle guards and into the king's private rooms was a complete mystery - Arthur was fairly sure his guards weren't that bad at their jobs.

"My Lord," Emrys had said, bowing slightly.

"What are you doing here?" Arthur demanded, pushing his plate of food away.

"I came to see you. You banished your servant last night - I thought you wanted him back more than anything, hence why I returned him to you. Had I known you were just going to exile him, I might not have bothered!" Emrys sounded truly upset at Merlin's banishment.

"How I treat my servant is my own business," Arthur replied coldly. "Perhaps you should have thought about that before you had him do your dirty work. Don't worry though, I'm sure you'll find someone else willing to feed you information. Gaius, perhaps?"

"I thought," Emrys began sadly, "that we were coming to an understanding, Arthur." The king laughed bitterly but said nothing. "I had hoped our time together would open your eyes to the truth of magic but you've banished your servant because he has magic - did nothing I said to you get through that thick skull of yours?"

Arthur stood suddenly then, knocking the chair over as he did. "I didn't banish him for the magic," he snarled. "I banished him because he broke my heart! He was my greatest friend and it was all just a lie! That is the true legacy of magic: lies and heartbreak. It may not be evil in itself but nothing good ever comes of it."

"It wasn't a lie!" Emrys cried, taking an urgent step forward.

Arthur held up a hand, "Don't. You have no right to use him as a tool against me. I know of your prophesy and I swear to you now: magic will never be allowed in Camelot!"

"Arthur - "

"I thank you for your service, Emrys," Arthur ground out, cutting across the old sorcerer, "and I thank you for rescuing me from Odin and my sister. For that reason you are free to leave here in safety but you return upon pain of death."

"Please, Arthur," the old man begged, "please do not condemn all those with magic for the foolish actions of one man!"

"My decision is final."

Emrys had stood watching him for a moment, expression unreadable, before turning swiftly and leaving. Arthur hadn't felt so broken since he'd discovered Gwen in Lancelot's arms the night before their wedding.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts of six months ago that he barely noticed Mithian appear and sit beside him, careful to maintain a handspan between them.

"Are you well, my Lord?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you, Princess," he replied absently.

"It's just you seem more...distracted these days," she continued. "Sadder, somehow. I couldn't help but wonder, why? I take it Guinevere is the blacksmith's daughter you spoke of, so surely you are happy? Is marriage not all you hoped it would be?"

Arthur couldn't help the flicker of annoyance the ran through him. How dare she question him about such a thing? But as he looked at her, he realised that she was sincere in her concern, there was no malice behind her question and he found himself answering.

"My marriage is one of the best things I've ever done."

Mithian's smile was radiant and true. "That's wonderful. You deserve to be happy, my Lord."

"I am."

"And yet not as much as you were when I last saw you," she responded quickly. "Despite getting your heart's desire."

"I've...I've been distracted. This war with Odin..." he trailed off, waving a hand in a random direction. To be honest, his heart really was not in the lie anymore. People had got used to never asking him why he was so tense or short-tempered, even Gwen avoided certain topics around him, to the point where even if he'd wanted to talk to someone he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was sick of it. Sick of lying and pretending he was fine and being strong for everyone.

"Ah, I confess I had wondered if it was..." Mithian paused. Gwen had told her not to mention Merlin to the king, that the servant had left Camelot to look after his mother, who had fallen ill, and was unlikely to return, but over the last two days he had seemed so alone, so lost that she couldn't stop herself trying to help him. "If it was because Merlin is not here."

Arthur looked like he'd been punched for a moment and Mithian wondered if she'd made a terrible mistake, after all, who was she to second guess the man's wife?

"What do you know about...about that?" the king demanded harshly.

"Only that he left to look after his sick mother, Sire. I wondered if you were unhappy because he had decided not to return to Camelot. He was so dedicated to you before, I couldn't help but notice he wasn't there."

"I knew he wouldn't come back," Arthur said so quietly Mithian could barely hear him. "I just got so used to him being there...He used to insult me at least once a day, served me the most awful food, went and got drunk with my knights more often than he should and barely tidied my chambers. But he was my friend," he ran a tired hand through his hair. "I miss him."

"My Lord, surely it would be the work of a few moments to request his return? He was so loyal to you, I don't doubt that he would do so immediately once his mother is well again," Mithian said earnestly, pleased to have got such an open response from him.

"No!" Arthur said furiously, making Mithian lean away slightly at the venom in his voice. "He's gone and he's not coming back. All that is over and it's for the best." Arthur stood and bowed slightly, "Please forgive my outburst, Princess. It was a moment of weakness and will not happen again."

With that he stalked off into the forest, leaving Mithian completely bemused.

A/N: Please review! They give me the incentive to write more!