A/N Sorry this took so long, this was so very frustrating to write so thank you for your patience. Oh and as of posting this story has gotten 216 reviews, so you guys are awesome. I try and to reply to all of them but if I haven't or can't please know that they are all appreciated. As always I have no rights to Rookie Blue or its characters and all mistakes are mine.

Chapter 10

Holly's pov

After wandering around for a few hours after leaving Brandi, Holly decided that it was time to call it a night. It had started to snow again but this time it was a heavy wet snow that was chilling her right down to the bone. Her coat was heavy from the dampness and the last thing she needed was to get sick. Holly sighed as she checked her phone for the…well she had lost count of how many times she had checked the silent electronic device, Gail hadn't responded to any of her texts or calls. For a day that seemed to have started out with such promise it had turned into a day that she wished that she could put behind her and right now burrowing under her blanket and going to bed sounded like a good idea. She trudged up her stairwell, the multiple flights of stairs never bothered her before but right now she just wanted to get home. Holly fought the urge to try and call Gail again, she knew that she needed to give her space but she just really wanted to hear her voice and know that she was alright; she had run out of the loft without shoes or a shirt on, not exactly the best wardrobe for winter.

Brandi had given her a lot to think about. And the truth was she had put Gail on the spot with telling her about her actions the night before and dumping her feelings for her on top of that. If their positions had been reversed Holly would have been tempted to run as well. No, she would give Gail some time and she would see her in class on Monday. It went against every desire she had to reach out but this was about Gail's wellbeing not hers.

Holly rounded the last landing and walked down her hallway, she searched her pocket for her keys and was surprised to see a hooded figure sitting hunched over, her head resting on her knees, in front of her door.

"Gail?"

Gail's pov

At hearing Holly's voice Gail scrambled to her feet but from sitting in the awkward position her lower body had fallen asleep and her numb feet wouldn't support her and she crumbled back to the floor. Red with embarrassment she sighed and gave Holly a halfhearted wave from her seated position.

"Hey."

Holly leaned against her door jam with a concerned look. "Hey."

Gail tried once more to stand and finally succeeded, she rubbed her legs for a moment before standing completely upright. "Hey…I said that already didn't I?"

Holly smiled her patented half smile, "It did sound familiar."

Gail breathed a sigh of relief, Holly didn't seem mad and she took that as an excellent sign. "Can we talk?" she asked quietly as she scuffed the toe of her sneaker on the red carpet of the hallway.

Holly nodded eagerly, "Yeah…I mean yes…I want to uh…if you want talk um…sure we can talk."

Gail smiled at Holly's ramblings and she had the urge to calm her down so she took her hand and simply held it. As soon as she gripped Holly's hand she could see Holly visibly relax. "Inside?" Gail asked gesturing with her head towards the unopened door. "Your neighbors are this close to calling the police on me." She said in a lower voice, "They think that I am stalking you." Holly tried to cover a laugh with her free hand and rolled her eyes as she unlocked the door and Gail let go of her hand to enter.

"Have you been waiting long?" Holly asked as she opened the door and Gail shrugged, it had been a couple of hours but she would had waited days, not that she was ready to tell Holly that. As soon as they were through the door Gail's heart started beating faster, she hadn't completely worked out what she wanted to say to Holly but she knew that it started with an apology, now if only she could find the right words. She watched Holly struggle to pull damp jacket off and wondered how long Holly had been out in the bad weather. "I'm going to change into some dry clothes, make yourself comfortable." Holly said softly as she headed towards the bedroom area. Gail walked over to the couch but remained standing as her eyes followed Holly. Gail watched wordlessly as Holly pulled off her sweater and slipped on an oversized hoodie over her skintight thermal shirt, she turned away when Holly started to work her belt loose.

After what felt like a short forever she saw Holly make her way back to the living room area wearing fleece sweat pants and the loose fitting hoodie. Gail walked to the couch and sat on one end and waited for Holly to sit on the other end before she started. "I don't do this very often…"

"What sit? You seem like a pro." Holly teased nervously and instantly looked like she regretted the comment.

Gail couldn't help the eye roll and the shake of her head as she steeled her nerves. "No…I don't apologize and I need to." She scrunched her eyes closed tight and took a breath. "Holly I am so sorry. I shouldn't have run…it was stupid and you deserve better…I…"

"Stop." Holly said as she scooted closer to her. "Gail stop, you don't need to…"

Gail stood and strode over to the fireplace keeping her back to Holly and picked up small figurine of the Eiffel Tower, she turned it between her figures before she turned back to Holly. "Holly I do. You need to know that I am sorry. This…" she gestured between the two of them, "I don't know exactly what this is between us but my running away jeopardized it ever becoming more and for that I am sorry." She was near tears but she held them back as she searched Holly's face for a sign that she understood what it was that Gail was trying to convey. Gail returned to the couch still playing with the figurine. "You need to know that I ran because of me not you."

They were both quiet and the silence was a little unnerving but then Holly spoke.

"Why?"

The weight of that single word had burdened Gail all day. She wanted to look down, to focus on her hands or the floor but this was Holly and Holly deserved eye contact.

"I have been asking myself that since the moment I bolted. I am not sure that I can put it to words." Gail said sincerely as she set the mini monument on the coffee table.

"Try."

Gail nodded and bit her lower lip and held it for a moment, "All that you said…what you felt for me…you have to understand no one has ever said anything like that or felt that way about me before and my words…they fail me so I acted. I kissed you and it was everything that I never knew that I wanted and…it was too much too fast that…I just reacted." Gail dug her fingers into her leg and felt a stab of pain but it kept her focused as she continued. "As soon as I left I felt terrible. It is not a good excuse I know that…you have to understand all the feelings…" She cleared her throat, "For a while now I have been having…feelings…feelings that I didn't…I don't know… understand?"

Holly nodded and let her continue. "Everything with you…it just happened and it was so easy. I didn't even notice that there were feelings until they hit me like a ton of bricks. Kissing you…"

"So you have feelings for me?" Holly asked gently.

Gail almost snorted at the absurdity of question and gave Holly her best 'no duh' face. "I thought that much was clear but let me very specific. I. Have. Feelings. For. You." It actually felt good to say the words out loud Gail noticed and she loved how Holly's eyes lit up at them. Maybe this conversation wouldn't be so bad.

"So these feelings…" Holly hinted.

"They freak me out okay? I am not used to having them and I don't know what to do with them." Gail confessed as she tried to stand but Holly reached for her hand and held it on her lap, effectively keeping her in place. "You have to understand that with Nick and even with Mike I…I knew that they weren't going to last and…and I didn't really care that much…but with you…its different…you are different. You got past the walls and have become important to me." Gail looked down at their joined hands and squeezed, it felt good to have the connection. "See even this…" she said as she lifted their hands a little, "I don't do this…I don't hold hands but I do with you and I like it."

"I like it too and you are not the only one freaking out here." Holly assured her.

"Yeah?"

"Trust me when I say that I didn't want to have feelings for you."

Gail couldn't help but feel a smidge hurt at the statement. "And why not? I am awesome."

Holly laughed, "And so modest. I only meant that when I started to realize that my attraction for you went beyond the 'damn she is hot' stage I knew that I was headed for heartbreak."

"You think that I am hot?"

Holly shook her head and Gail smirked. "As I was saying; falling for a straight girl who wants to be your wingwoman is not exactly a recipe for success."

"To be fair I was a lousy wingwoman. I scared away everyone by calling you my partner after I would talk you up. I meant it as lab partner but I guess they took it a different way." Gail confessed.

"That would do it." Holly said with a small smile but it didn't reach her eyes and Gail knew that she was masking hurt.

Gail tightened her grip on Holly's hand, "I don't want to hurt you. That is the last thing that I want."

Holly nodded, "I guess I need to know if this is real."

"Real? As opposed to what? Imaginary?" Gail asked feeling a bit confused.

"I need this to be as real for you as it is for me, I don't want to be an experiment." Holly said bluntly, letting go of Gail's hand.

This time Gail did stand and she positioned herself directly in front of Holly and knelt down to eye level. "You are not now or will ever be an experiment."

"Are you sure?"

Gail nodded affirmatively, "If I had wanted to experiment I would have done it two years ago with Andi…long story."

Holly quirked an eyebrow and Gail sighed, "Sophomore year we got drunk on some absinth that Andi had stolen from her dad…she said I was pretty and I said that she wasn't too bad looking and she tried to kiss me. She missed and ended up vomiting all over my lap."

"That would kill the mood." Holly laughed and it was music to Gail's ears.

"Yeah…I guess it wasn't that long of story but seriously Holly I am not the type to experiment."

"So what would you call this?" she asked motioning between the two of them.

Gail shrugged, "Honestly I don't know. I like you and while you are a girl which I will admit is out of my normal wheelhouse that doesn't change the fact that I think about kissing you…a lot." The smile that grew on Holly's face was almost too much for Gail and she looked away as she blushed. "I don't know if that means that I am gay or if it means that I am Hollyexual."

"Hollyexual?"

"You know someone that is insanely attracted to nerds named Holly. It is a growing subculture right up there with people that love getting it on with people dressed up like hobbits."

"Really?" Holly said as she reached for Gail.

"Yeah I don't really get that one, the big feet are pretty creepy if you ask me." She smirked before turning more serious, "All I know is that whatever I am I want to be with you…if you will have me." Gail said without a hint of sarcasm.

"Well…"

Gail stood and took a step back, "You need time…I get that. I am going to go so you can think. Please don't think that this isn't me running, just giving you room to think." She promised as she started to leave.

"Gail sit your ass back down! You are not going anywhere. We are not done here." Holly demanded and Gail turned to see the med student trying to look serious but failing miserably.

"Okay." She eyed Holly curiously as she sat back down.

"It is my turn to talk." Holly stated.

Holly's pov

Holly inhaled deeply and slowly let it out, "I ambushed you this morning and I know that I should have done it differently but I was so tired of ignoring what I feel for you and it kind erupted like an emotional volcano. So I am sorry too. I do understand the running away, it hurt but I do understand. Do I wish you would have stayed and just talked to me? Of course I do because that is what is so great about us hanging out is that we can tell each other stuff right?" she rushed out in a single breath.

Gail nodded awkwardly as Holly kept going, "You kissing me was unexpected...I was bolstering every bit of courage I had to kiss you and you…you surprised me. I believe you when you say that you don't want to hurt me…trust me when I say that I don't want to hurt you either."

"Holly?"

"Just let me finish Gail." Holly pleaded holding a hand up to the blonde. "I get that this is all new to you but understand that this is all new to me too. If we are going to take this step we are going to take it slowly."

Gail arched an eyebrow, "So are you saying that you want to try?"

Holly barely nodded as she watched Gail's reaction. "I want to try."

Gail shifted on the couch so that she was pressed right up against Holly's side, her hand moving to her thigh, her head resting on Holly's shoulder. "Good."

Holly turned so that she faced Gail, adjusting her position so that she was sitting cross legged on the couch, "This will only work if we are honest with one another…if something happens you talk to me no more running. Understand?"

Gail nodded enthusiastically as she mirrored Holly's position, "The same goes for you too."

"Deal." Holly agreed smiling as she took Gail's hand and started to rub small counter clock circles by her thumb.

Gail licked her lower lip as Holly noticed her gaze drift from Holly's eyes south. "So when you say we need to take this slow…how slow are we talking?" Gail asked as she leaned in, a smirk on her flawless face. "You ask me to move in after three dates slow or the next ice age will be upon us before I get to second base slow?"

Holly grabbed Gail and pulled her towards her so that she was sitting on her lap. Holly could feel her breath hitch as all of her senses were triggered by Gail's proximity. She could smell the raspberry scent of her shampoo and she could hear Gail's slightly hurried breathing, she could swear that she could almost taste the other woman's lip balm as her lips edged closer and all she wanted was to finally touch her…she was so close when she pulled back with a smirk of her own as Gail pouted. "I want to go out on a date." Holly declared as Gail's fingers played with the strings of Holly's hoodie.

"A date?"

"You wanted to know how slow we are going to go?" Holly asked and Gail nodded. "I think that we should date, see if we work as a couple." She explained and Gail looked thoughtful.

"So are you asking me out or am I asking you out?" Gail asked furrowing her brow.

Holly adjusted her glasses and chuckled, "Would it be easier for you if I did the asking?' she didn't wait for an answer. "Gail would you like to go out with me on a date?"

Gail rolled her eyes but smiled, "When? I have a pretty busy social calendar."

It was Saturday night already and getting too late to go out so Holly answered, "Tomorrow afternoon, I will pick you up at noon."

Gail tapped her chin as if in thought, "Can you make it one o'clock?"

Holly tilted her head slightly, "I guess so, why?"

Gail gave her most teasing smile, "I need time to go out and buy some fleece and a backpack."

Holly stuck her tongue out the other woman who was laughing at her own cleverness. It was a good thing that Holly found it cute.

A/N So what do you think? I will try and get the date chapter done faster but I make no promises. Let me know what you think and pass along any date ideas.