CHAPTER 9:

HEARING DIFFICULTIES

"Well," Alucard said as they drove back to Hellsing after the hearing at the Ministry of Magic, "that went well enough."

"How do you mean?" Harry said, scowling as the four of them sat in the limousine.

"You're still able to go to Hogwarts, thanks to Andromeda Tonks' advocacy and the support of Madam Bones and Mr Scrimgeour," Hermione pointed out. "Not to mention Alucard and Sir Integra's testimony about the ghouls. I'm angry they didn't let you use Veritaserum or a Pensieve, though. And the way they changed the time and location at the last moment…"

"Fudge and those looking to discredit Harry are playing extremely dirty," Integra said. "I am lodging a complaint with Her Majesty and the Round Table. Magical Britain does have to adhere to certain tenets of the law, even mundane law. They even tried to have me Obliviated, even though under law, certain members of certain organisations cannot be Obliviated, as they may need to liaise with the Ministry of Magic and the DMLE."

"These fools either disregard or change the laws when it suits them," Alucard said dismissively. "Such folly is not confined to magical governments, sadly, though it seems to be amplified in them. I've seen it happen many times in my long lifetime. I want the good old days back, when I could bring out the stakes for anyone who annoyed me."

Hermione, who had read something of the exploits of Vlad the Impaler, shuddered. Harry, meanwhile, was still scowling. "I hate the way they treated me. I mean, I know why they are, thanks to what everyone told me, but…they treated me like I was you, Alucard, only they don't know I'm your grandson or a dhampir. Like an object of contempt. And the way Percy looked at me…I mean, we weren't friends, exactly, but even so…"

"Have you ever heard of the concept of 'acquired situational narcissism', Harry?" Integra asked. "While it's perhaps the incorrect term to use in this context, as it usually means those intoxicated by celebrity and fame, like they claim you to be, but Percy Weasley has been promoted to what he believes to be an important position, and has been intoxicated by being 'important'. I have been in contact with Arthur Weasley since you came into my care, and Percy has distanced himself from the family, more so than his older brothers. And people will do many things for power. I have told you of what my own uncle did when my father perished."

"I know, I know, Percy was a bit of a prat. But even so, I thought he was better than this," Harry said.

"Sadly, it's a lesson of life, Harry," Alucard said. "You can never quite know a person completely. Well, unless you're a vampire and drink all their blood, but that's not the point I'm making."

Hermione nodded, before she frowned, looking out the car windows. "Umm, is this the same route we took to the Ministry?"

"It shouldn't be, to deter anyone who might attack me, but…" Integra looked out the windows. Her eyes widened behind her glasses. "Alucard…"

"On it," the vampire said, phasing through the limousine's partition to the driving area. After a moment, the limousine changed its route, and Alucard returned to the passenger area. "I just broke an Imperius on our driver. Thankfully, I was able to do it easily enough without having to resort to lethal measures. Just as well, too. I can only drive automatics anyway. I couldn't tell who cast it, but I could discern the instructions. We were to be driven to an isolated area, where the Death Eaters would attack, abducting Harry."

"Voldemort's laying low, the events at Cheddar aside," Integra mused. "So why would he make a move now?"

"Maybe the temptation to get Harry was too much to resist," Hermione said.

"Actually, I can help you there," came a familiar, Teutonic voice. And Harry and Hermione found Schrödinger sandwiched between them all of a sudden. "A tight fit, ja?" he asked a little sheepishly.

Alucard raised an eyebrow. "So, am I to understand that the Major had a hand in this?"

"Indirectly, Alucard. He wants the Hellsing Organisation and the Royal Order of Protestant Knights run ragged as a prelude to his own operation. Although originally, he only intended to send artificial vampires to test Hellsing and Alucard, he has now decided to have Voldemort target Hellsing. He had me sent there to offer Voldemort information in exchange for an alliance. And let me tell you, getting my head blown off by a Cutting Curse is very unpleasant."

"I didn't think Voldemort would accept an alliance with a Muggle organisation," Integra said.

"Oh, he didn't, but he took the information all the same when the Major gave it to him as a 'goodwill gesture'. In truth, the Major was banking on that."

"How can you have loyalty to a man like that?" Hermione demanded.

"I don't, not true loyalty, not for years. But…there are ways of ensuring that anyway, Fraulein. Did it ever occur to you how I can be everywhere and nowhere?" After looking at their blank faces, Schrödinger said, "The cat genes within me are mostly to enhance my combat attributes, even though I am not technically required to be in combat, as well as to fulfil the Doctor's sense of humour to have a Schrödinger's Catboy. But to be everywhere and nowhere, as well as loyalty, requires another source. A magical source. And there is one species of magical creature that is often underestimated for its ability to be everywhere that it is needed, and loyalty."

Harry understood first. "Holy shit," he murmured quietly. "You've got some House Elf in you, haven't you?"

"Ja. Not much, but it was through experimentation with House Elf biology that the Doctor created my ability to be an actual Schrödinger's Catboy, as you put it, Fraulein," Schrödinger said, looking at Hermione. "He also thought it would ensure my loyalty, but it took a while for the imprinting to take place, along with the indoctrination that required me to die for the glory of Millennium. But Luna's mind cried out to me when her mother died, and I think that disrupted it. I just need to find a way to ensure that I cannot be brought under their control again. Look, I can't linger. Otherwise, they'll ask questions. Just be careful now." And with that, Schrödinger vanished.

After a moment, Harry said, "I'm getting flashbacks to when Dobby tried to warn me away from Hogwarts. So we've got a Nazi experiment who's part-human, part-cat, and part-House Elf warning us about these guys."

"It makes sense," Alucard said. "The whole House Elf thing."

"We'll have to treat his warnings with due caution," Integra said. "He may be double-bluffing." She looked over at Alucard. "Has Dumbledore accepted your proposal to become a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

"I had to twist his arm a little, metaphorically, but he's agreed," Alucard said with a grin. "It was the thought of Umbridge teaching these kids so appallingly that cinched it. He made that mistake with Quirrell and Lockhart. Seriously, why did he hire a fraud in order to expose him, and thus endanger the teaching of his students? I've decided to send an older version of what Walter used to call 'Girlycard'."

"Girlycard?" Hermione asked.

Alucard smirked, before changing form into a pale, teenaged girl with long black hair. "Like this," he said, his very male voice still emanating from the feminine lips of his current form. "I'm going to have to change the age and use a woman's voice, obviously. Ah, this brings back memories, like the time I played Snow White for the Queen during one of her pantomimes at Windsor Castle."

"…What?" Harry asked.

"During the Second World War, while at Windsor Castle, Her Majesty staged pantomimes there for the Queen's Wool Fund to raise money for yarn. The yarn was used to knit into military garments," Integra said(1). "This was before she was actually crowned, when she was still Princess Elizabeth, of course."

After some time, Hermione said, "I'll probably head back to the Order's headquarters today. I think someone should let them know what Schrödinger said about the Major giving Voldemort information. We'll also have to pick up supplies at Diagon Alley." She looked at Alucard. "What text have you assigned for us, Alucard?"

"For Fifth Year and up, I have assigned Confronting the Faceless, though Quentin Trimble's text will be looked at as well, and you've had that since your first year, according to Dumbledore," Alucard said. "Technically, Confronting the Faceless is a NEWT-level book, but given the rather uneven nature of your Defence Against the Dark Arts education, as well as the potential rise of Voldemort, Fifth Year will have a bit of a jumpstart in learning how to defend yourselves. And I'm sure someone of your inquisitive and eager nature would find it an interesting read, Hermione. I've also promised Dumbledore that I will try to see if I can figure out what sort of curse was put on the position by Voldemort."

"Curse?" Hermione's eyes widened. "That's why we've had a different teacher each year."

"For decades, this has happened, according to Dumbledore, but despite his bringing in cursebreakers from Gringotts, he has been unable to lift it. I will look myself, although it may be that the curse is tied to Voldemort's life. Between Voldemort and Millennium, I think things are going to get interesting…"

In the Millennium base deep in Brazil, Schrödinger sat, sulking, having already submitted to the latest round of testing by the Doctor. While he was sure that the Major and the Doctor didn't suspect his treachery, the latter had been particularly vocal about his disapproval of Schrödinger going anywhere without permission. And while the Major told the Doctor off with a joking tone, there was a look in the Major's golden eyes that told Schrödinger that he privately agreed with the Doctor. And the Old Men of the Opera House, the nominal heads of Millennium, agreed, though this was one of the few times they agreed with the Major or the Doctor on anything. Those old relics loved to bitch, especially about them not receiving vampirism or immortality. And Schrödinger realised that he really should leave Millennium. There was virtually nothing for him here, save for a suicide mission he was born for, for a cause he didn't believe in, not anymore.

To tell the truth, there were only a couple of members of Millennium Schrödinger could be said to be friends with, though of those two, there was really only one he could trust. Of these two, the one he didn't trust was Lieutenant Rip van Winkle, a childish, almost carefree young woman (in appearance, anyway: she had been young during the Second World War) who was obsessed with Der Freischütz, or The Freeshooter, a famous opera by Carl Maria von Weber. While quite cute, she was also psychotic in many regards, loving to play with her foes with her enchanted musket balls she fired from her musket.

The other, the one he trusted, was ironically in diametric opposition to him. This tall, muscled man, with snow-white hair (despite his apparently youthful face) and red eyes, was known as the Captain. Some people claimed his name was Hans Günsche, but Schrödinger didn't know whether that was the case, as the Captain never spoke(2). Where Schrödinger was effusive and emotive, the Captain was quiet and stoic. Where Schrödinger was short and effeminate, the Captain was tall and masculine. And where Schrödinger was a cat, well, the Captain was a dog. Or rather, a wolf. A werewolf. And not just any werewolf, but one of the rarest kind, the born Loup-Garou, a more mystical form of werewolf that was virtually extinct. The Captain was probably the last of them alive. It was said that most other werewolves were the result of a foolish wizard trying to replicate Loup-Garou powers, only to end up becoming a more mindless beast, with more weaknesses and less strengths. And because he was suffering from rabies at the time, lycanthropy was turned into a virus, active at the full moon(3).

But the Captain was one of Schrödinger's only friends in Millennium, and the Loup-Garou was the only one Schrödinger trusted. So when the Captain entered the lab, Schrödinger knew that this was the one person he could confide in.

The Captain rarely communicated through anything other than body language, gestures, or actions. Schrödinger knew that the gesture the Captain used meant, What troubles you?

"A lot of things, Captain," Schrödinger admitted. "You know that."

The Captain nodded. You doubt the plan, his eyes said, with no condemnation, anger, or contempt in them. Just a sadness. The Captain went over to a desk, and wrote something down on a piece of paper, and then showed it to Schrödinger. You want your freedom, don't you?

"Ja," Schrödinger admitted.

Another bit of writing, and then, the Captain showed it to him. Then I will help.

Schrödinger blinked, and then he looked at the Captain. "…Why?"

More writing. You are young. I am old. Too old. I am only going along with this because I want a good death in battle. But you are only young, Schrödinger. Too young to sacrifice a life you have barely lived. I am glad your mind is free of the filth they have pumped into it. The Nazis go on about purity of blood, but they are quick to sully it with vampirism and other adulterants for power. And even if their plan to use you to defeat Alucard succeeded, Alucard has a bad habit of coming back from the dead. You know that you will have to be branded a traitor to Millennium.

"Ja. But…there's a friend I have…"

A girl? Say no more. I can see it in your eyes, the Captain wrote with a gentle smile. I don't care if you work with Hellsing. The only thing I care about is one last glorious battle. The Loup-Garou's eyes flickered around. He noted the various parts of the Doctor's research into Schrödinger, and then wrote, We'll have to fight, make it look like I discovered your treachery instead of enabling it, while I destroy whatever can be used to bring you back here during our 'fight'. Take the paper with you, so I am not incriminated. But tell Alucard…the Captain wants a rematch with either him, or any of his fledglings.

"Ja, Captain," Schrödinger said, his eyes glistening with tears, taking the paper from the Loup-Garou solemnly.

The Captain nodded, before removing his cap, his head shifting and warping into a snowy-white lupine form that seemed not quite there, almost like a ghost, or a mist. Schrödinger hadn't seen that form often, and for most, it would mean death.

The ensuing fight was almost a choreographed dance, for the benefit of anyone who might be watching. Schrödinger leapt desperately around the attacks of the Captain, dodging most, but some getting him smashed painfully into equipment. Most of it was normal equipment, but some were the devices used to hold Schrödinger's loyalty to Millennium, and would take too long to replace. Magically enhanced electronics, after all, were expensive to assemble properly, and while Millennium's budget would be the envy of many a nation, it would also take too much time to rebuild.

Soon, Schrödinger was lying, mortally wounded, or at least what would be a mortal wound in anyone else, on the floor. The Captain was standing over him, glaring at him, while the Doctor had finally arrived. "What is the meaning of this?!" the blonde-haired neurotic man demanded. "Why have you attacked him, Captain?"

"Because…he discovered…I'm leaving…Millennium," Schrödinger rasped. "Leck mich…am Arsch." He gave the Doctor the finger, before vanishing, the enraged snarl of the Doctor the last thing he heard…but the last thing he saw were the sad eyes of the Captain, even in his more lupine form. Saying, I'll miss you, even as Schrödinger fled Millennium, forever…

Luna was surprised to find Cheshire suddenly appear out of thin air. Not because he did so so suddenly, she was used to that, but now, he looked haggard, even like he had been crying. "Cheshire?" she asked.

"Luna…please hold me," Cheshire said, tears running from his pinkish-purple eyes. And without hesitation, Luna threw her arms around him in a hug, allowing his tears to soak her dress as she comforted. She knew he had finally fled his dark and twisted home with Millennium. Now, she was all he had left…

CHAPTER 9 ANNOTATIONS:

I told you the defection of Schrödinger was coming sooner rather than later. One reviewer wanted me to bring the Captain (aka Hans) in as an ally of Hellsing, or at least Harry, but I decided against it. I decided he has no true loyalty to Millennium, but that working with the good guys isn't going to get him the glorious death he desires either. He did this purely for Schrödinger. And yes, Schrödinger will be attending Hogwarts with Luna. Hope you liked the partial explanation for Schrödinger's powers. I thought of it after reading one of Reishin Amara's reviews for Xenophilia, regarding Dobby's abilities (in that story) to teleport between dimensions. And one wonders, where do House Elves go when they're not working for their masters? White Squirrel's The Arithmancer posits one possibility, and this story posits another. Are House Elves everywhere and nowhere? Maybe, but they're not immortal or invincible. That aspect of Schrödinger is due to the Doctor's experimentation.

Also, I hoped you like Voldemort's first shot at Harry and Hellsing. And we'll see an adult Girlycard at Hogwarts. I didn't write the hearing partly because I didn't want the story to get bogged down, and partly because I think of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to be the nadir of the series, and I didn't want to re-read the hearing chapter in order to write the defence.

As I post this, I have also found out that not only two of my fanfics, namely Harry Potter and the Cetra Heritage and Is Your Great-Aunt an AI?!, have been recommended on TV Tropes, but the Cetra Heritage Saga now has an actual Tropes page, under Harry Potter and the Cetra Heritage! Booyah!

Review-answering time! To those who complained about the Harmony pairing, if you don't like it, the door is there. I'm not going to try and force another pairing because of your whining.

paladin3030: In all likelihood, no, or at least not many. I think Voldemort would be leery of turning anyone into something more powerful than he is, unless they are absolutely loyal to him (Bellatrix may be a candidate).

Call0013: In all likelihood, as Harry is yet to consume any soul other than his own, he would gain Schrödinger's powers. However, that's not going to happen: Luna'd be pissed at the loss of her best friend and possible love interest.

Reishin Amara: Wait and see… ;)

Neo-Devil: I fucking love Mars Bringer of War. In fact, the first two Quatermass television serials (yes, my username actually comes from somewhere!) actually use Mars Bringer of War as their opening theme. So when it was used in Episode 4 of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, well, I was ecstatic.

Guest: Fair enough. This Anderson will probably be a mix between the two, but how much so, I am yet to determine.

1. I remembered how Alucard and Queen Elizabeth II were longtime friends (or at least on pretty good terms) in the manga, as well as the Abridged Series' rather grotesque jokes about their relationship. I actually had a look on Wikipedia about what Queen Elizabeth II (then Princess Elizabeth) did during the Second World War, and learned of these pantomimes she would hold at Windsor Castle for that fund. And the thought of Girlycard playing Snow White was all too-appealing.

2. There's a popular fanon that the Captain's name is this, derived as he was from a character from one of Kouta Hirano's earlier works. I decided it might be more interesting to 'neither confirm or deny' the name, hence the rumours.

3. The Captain is clearly a vastly different type of werewolf to the ones seen in the Potterverse, and Alucard, apparently, considered the Captain's kind to be extinct. This is my attempt to reconcile the two apparently disparate types of werewolf, and why the Captain still seems in full control of his faculties, while Potterverse werewolves have the classic 'berserker in the full moon' behaviour.