When The Day Met The Night
Chapter 10
Faithfully
A/N - I'm sure you all know it, Faithfully by Journey.
3/26/2019 - I wrote this chapter back in 2011 and then never posted it! I am so sorry to have kept everyone waiting. I want to wrap this up this week!
Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love
Along the wire
Brushing her fingers across his sweating brow, she could almost feel the thin layer of him holding his worst nightmares at bay. There was a strange energy emanating from the gentlest man she'd ever known, a small thing had changed and she wished that her mere contact would force that new thing to leave him. When he slept, he looked so innocent and peaceful, that was until his dreams would begin to take hold. By sheer force of will, she resolved, to smother him with so much love that he would have no other choice but to return to the happy - if yet a bit grumpy - Luke she knew before he left.
He knew something had changed, Lorelai could see it in his faltering gaze, his inability to hold eye contact for just a moment longer. While in the hospital, Luke could succumb to pain medication, giving him an easy pathway to sleep and temporary oblivion. Lorelai knew that when it was time for him to come home to her, his demons would likely be greater.
A surge of anger shot through her. The Army took the man she loved from her, kept him away when she needed him, put him through hell and broke him. And then when they finally returned Luke to her, they sent a broken man that she would have to fix. To fix Luke, it was ironic in a way, she'd need to repair the man that was always trying to fix things for everyone else.
Soft words startled Lorelai, shaking her from her reverie. "He keeps a lot of it inside."
Lorelai turned to glance at Sean, who was comfortably reclined in bed and blinking drowsily. When she focused her attention back on Luke, Sean continued. "Took me forever to get the bastard to open up."
"I know it won't be easy," Lorelai replied softly, brushing the hair from Luke's forehead. She turned to face Sean again. "Why did you push him to open up?"
"I don't know... he seemed, sad and angry, I guess. I felt the same way."
"Why did you enlist, Sean?" Lorelai asked, realizing Luke had never spoken much about Sean's family or history.
"My sister was killed," he told her candidly. "She was in the Army, five years older than me. It was enemy weapon fire in Afghanistan. She was passionate about this life, wanted to change things..." he paused, rubbing his forehead. The IV taped to his hand stood out in stark contrast to the blue veins and deeply tanned skin. "I wanted to finish what she started. Parents didn't like it much, but they understood."
"With this war," Lorelai began, knowing that it was a touchy subject. "It's-"
"It's difficult to know if you're doing the right thing? Really fighting for freedom and not oil? Yeah, that complicates it."
"Are you going to try to go back out there," Lorelai asked him quietly, her hand on Luke's shoulder as she pivoted her body towards Sean's bed.
"No," he told her. "I think I'm done. I got lucky, luckier than Macy did. Maybe I can do something good on the other side of the pond."
"I'm leaving tomorrow," Lorelai confessed. She had just gotten off the phone with her mother, the best time to go was too soon but she didn't have a choice. She rubbed her belly, thinking about the sacrifices she'd already had to make.
"Shit," Sean cursed under his breath. "He's gonna miss you."
"Me too," Lorelai responded, turning to look at Luke. "He'll be home soon though.
"Sean," she said as she turned back to look at him. "We you to come home with him, to us, to Star's Hollow. He doesn't think you have much to go home to, but you're a part of our family now."
"Lorelai, you really don't have to do that, I underst-"
"You'll come home with Luke, Sean," Lorelai firmly emphasized, clearly showing Sean that she didn't have the energy to deal with an argument. "We're having twins, we're going to need another hand around the house anyway."
"Yes, ma'am," Sean told her, a sudden grin blossoming on his face. "I guess I've got to show little Sean the ropes."
Lorelai wiped a tear away as she nodded along. Why did she have to cry to so much? She wondered, as she petted Luke's shoulder and took comfort in his even breathing.
They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line
It's been you and me
And lovin' a music man
Ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
"Hey, baby," Lorelai said quietly into the phone of her hotel room, having just left Luke in his hospital room. It was after eight pm in Germany, 2pm in the States, and she was exhausted beyond reason.
"Mom!" Rory shouted with excitement. "I have been trying to get a hold of you for days now!"
"I know, I'm sorry, I've been busy with Luke," Lorelai explained to her daughter, laying back on the bed.
"How is he? I miss him so much!"
"I know, kid. He's doing well, in pain, but well, and he's going to be fine. They're-they're worried about his leg, but we're just glad he's alive. It's a small price to pay... We'll have him home soon."
"That's good, that's where he belongs," Rory said with a matter-of-fact tone. "I'd give him my leg if I could!"
Lorelai laughed, a little of her exhaustion dissolving away at the mental image presented by her daughter. "That would look very interesting, daughter mine, to see Luke walking around awkwardly with a scrawny Rory leg attached to him."
"I'm not scrawny!" Rory squeaked with mock objection.
"Kid, there's just one thing," Lorelai said, sobering. "I'm sure you've spoken to your grandmother, so you know I'll be back to the Hollow soon. I'm having Luke bring Sean home with him, the soldier that saved his life. When I get home I think I'm going to need to take it easy, with the twins and the stress... I need you to do me a favor."
"That's good that he's coming to Star's Hollow, he's family now. And yeah, anything Mom."
Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you
"I'm trying to be brave about this, Luke," Lorelai wept and blew her nose loudly into a tissue, hiccuping a few times before she could speak again. "But I don't think it's possible with all the hormones."
"Lorelai," Luke said roughly, clasping her hand tightly in his. He was sitting in a wheelchair near the hospital's entrance, and Lorelai was perched on a bench next to him. The muscles in his jaw tensed as he bit down. "I'm gonna be home soon," he forced out, knowing he was going to lose it at any minute.
"It doesn't make it feel any easier," Lorelai cried, laying her head on his shoulder. "Why does this feel worse than when you left?"
"You have to keep calm," he tried to sooth, running his free hand over her shoulder, knowing he was failing at staying calm himself.
"You're hurt in a hospital, I should be with you!"
"We don't want to have the babies in Germany, Lorelai, you have to go," he told her, running his palm along her hair, trying to memorize how it felt. "You got me through the worst of it," he gritted out before a tear fell. "I'm not even pregnant..."
Laughing sadly, Lorelai lifted her head. She kissed the tear on his cheek away, which was a messy operation as her own face was wet and puffy and her whole body was shaking.
"You've gotta go," he said, trying to help her stand by grabbing her arms and pushing her up. He belly hurt from the effort, but he didn't care. "Your ride's here, you'll feel better when you're home."
Lorelai nodded and kissed him one last time, both savoring the touches and smells of one another, to be thought of later and in their dreams. Luke watched Lorelai pass through the front doors of the hospital, wondering why the idea of her leaving felt so ridiculous. He wanted to chase after her, bum leg be damned, and every instinct in his body shouted at him to do it.
He should have married her, he thought, while she was here with him yesterday. Suddenly the hoops to jump through for a marriage license didn't seem too daunting. Why the hell didn't he do it? Oh yeah, he couldn't walk, he couldn't stay awake for more than a few hours from all the medications and his wife was five months pregnant with twins. His wife? He realized he thought of her that way already.
He signalled a nurse to wheel him back to his room, where he found Sean sitting up in bed reading a Playboy magazine. Probably for the articles.
Luke told the nurse he'd like to stay sitting for a while, if that was okay, and watched the guy leave, shutting the door behind him.
"Will you be my best man," Luke asked Sean without any hesitation, before he even realized the thought had been there in his mind.
"Of course," Sean replied, not looking up from his magazine. Luke realized how bad he probably looked from trying so hard not to cry, and letting a few tears eek out. He rubbed his face vigorously and repositioned the blanket in his lap.
"Got any more of those?" he asked Sean, nodding at the magazine.
"I don't think Lorelai would approve," Sean told him, tossing another magazine over from his bedside table.
"You kidding me? Lorelai loves that show, the Bunny Bunch or something. She'll be thrilled I know what she's talking about," he explained as he caught the magazine.
"It's The Girls Next Door. They aren't usually in this. Not in the way you think, at least."
Luke opened the magazine at a random spot and immediately blushed when he saw a dark haired women laying sprawled on an old truck, her hair wavy and spread about on the hood. She only wore a red ribbon tied around her waist and looked solemnly out from the photo.
Sean burst out laughing when he finally looked up and took in Luke's reaction to the magazine. "Luke! Dude, stop making' me laugh, it hurts!"
Luke grumbled and wheeled himself over to the other side of his bed, trying to hide his blush from Sean. He looked down at the woman again, knowing it was wrong when he felt so strongly about Lorelai, but she looked so much like this woman on the page. Christ, he cursed, he hadn't thought about sex in months. What the hell was wrong with him? He wondered, suddenly getting hard from a Playboy. Pathetic. He flipped the page quickly and tried to concentrate on an article, trying not to feel bad that he was mentally getting off to a picture when his woman just left him for the other side of the planet.
"It's okay, ya know," Sean told him, grunting as he moved to lay on his side.
"What is?" Luke asked, staring intently at an article but not actually seeing it.
"To look at another woman in a magazine, to think she's hot," Sean explained. He put his magazine down on the bed and crossed his arms.
"She just left." Luke rubbed his face vigorously, it felt like a part of him was missing. He wasn't sure if it was because Lorelai left or something else.
"Sometimes when a guy gets mad or frustrated, he gets hard, Luke, it's a fucking fact of life," Sean said roughly, not even pausing or flinching at the word "hard". Luke flinched. "Let me guess, you were looking at the brunette with the ribbon on the '65 F-100," Sean continued, obviously having studied Luke's magazine thoroughly. "Look like anyone you know?"
"Fuck you, Sean," Luke said angrily, his hands shaking as he tried to spin his wheelchair around.
Sean sat up, suddenly just as angry. "You just want something to feel angry about, something to feel guilty about? Guess what, you didn't do a fucking thing wrong, stop acting like a idiot and accept that!" he shouted, rage turning his face red and making the veins in his neck stand out. "You didn't call yourself back into the God-damned Army, you didn't blow us up with a fucking bomb and you didn't force her to stay with you, to have those babies! Shit happens, asshole, deal with it! And for fuck's sake, stop trying to ruin what you have!" he finished, sitting back against his pillows. Softly and under his breath, he murmured, "you're a lucky bastard."
"You don't have any idea what you're talking about," Luke told him, his voice shaking, he felt himself losing control.
A German nurse popped her head into their room and Luke took the opportunity to wheel himself out, the magazine still sitting in his lap.
And being apart
Ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
"How's our boy doing, sugar?" Babbette called out as she speed walked across Lorelai's lawn, less than a minute after the limo driver had dropped her off and carried her bag into the house. Babbette huffed as she marched up Lorelai's porch, to meet an exhausted pregnant woman in the door jamb.
"Babbette," Lorelai said, leaning against the door jamb. She rubbed her belly for a moment for continuing into the house. "I'm-"
"Oh sugar, go lay down, I'll call Emily and Rory, tell 'em you're home. Want some tea? I'll make ya some tea, go lay down, they've been playing Gray's Anatomy all day on ten."
Lorelai smiled as she waddled over to the couch. She listened to Babbette close the door and go into the kitchen, then removed her coat and all but collapsed onto her couch, not having the energy to turn the tv on. She huffed out a short laugh when she heard Babbette conversing with Emily Gilmore, letting her know that she put her daughter to bed and was going to keep an eye on her. Rory came next, who was apparently already on the road to Star's Hollow.
She must have passed out for a moment, because all of a sudden the TV was on, there was a mug of tea on the coffee table and Babbette was sipping another cup in the armchair.
"I was idle for most of the day," Lorelai told her as she sat up. "And I feel like I ran a marathon."
"Travelin' with two babies will do that to ya, born or not."
"Luke's doing well," Lorelai said, remembering her neighbor's earlier question. "The damage from the shrapnel in his abdomen is healing up nicely, there shouldn't be much scarring. The doctor's worried about his leg," she paused and swallowed. "We'll see how it goes, they're playing it by ear, it was pretty bad. Luke's just happy he still has it."
"Poor guy's been through the mill with this," Babbette groused, sipping her tea.
"Mmhm," Lorelai commiserated. After trying a sip of her tea, to be polite, she set the mug down and dropped her head on a pillow. She woke up some time later to see that she was covered in a blanket, the tv was off and Babbette had left. She wondered where Rory was until she fell back under the tide of exhaustion once more.
Faithfully
I'm still yours
It was Lorelai, on his truck. He couldn't believe his eyes. There she was, red fingernails and toenails, on his green truck, leaning back on her hands, her knees held together and bent slightly. The only thing she wore was a bright blue ribbon that brightened her eyes. He caught a glimpse of the thatch of hair between her legs and quickly looked away on exhale.
There was something about this that was odd, and he tried to hold on to what it was, but then he caught sight of her once one more out of the corner of his eye and he was a goner. God, her legs went on forever, and the way she looked at him from up there, he never stood a chance at resisting her.
He walked over, the gravel of her driveway crunching under his feet. It was broad daylight, and it should have been wrong and risky, but he didn't care. As soon as he got close enough she reached toward him and grabbed his hat. She placed it on her head at a jaunty angle and smiled down at him. "Come and get it," she said as she leaned back, watching him rove his eyes over her body.
He planned to kiss every inch of her body and drive her mad for a change.
Luke woke up with a jolt. He realized he was in his hospital room and groaned. He was as hard as a rock and there was no way he was going to take care of it with Sean in the other bed. Besides, his leg hurt and his belly ached, and he wasn't sure it would such be a great idea even if he had his own room. He grabbed his laptop from the nightstand to check the time. Great, 3am, he thought. Lorelai would have been home for a few hours by then. On a whim, know it was 9pm in Star's Hollow, he signed onto the instant messenger account she had set up, and looked for her name in his list.
There she was, Sephoralai, staring up at him. Without hesitating he pulled up an IM window and started to type.
LDanesSH: Lorelai, are you there?
He waited a few minutes, hoping to God she was.
Sephorlai: Luke! Yes, sorry, I fell asleep.
LDanesSH: I'm sorry, I don't want to wake you.
S: Babe, S'okay, been in and out all day & night. Had to go to the little girl's room. :)
L: Made it home okay?
S: Yeah, glad to be home, but missing you. Sorry I didn't call, went straight to bed.
S: I think Rory was here, but must've slept straight through her visit.
L: Missing you too. Don't worry, rest is important. I was asleep, too.
L: Tell Rory I miss her, too.
S: Mmmkay :)
S: Can we video chat?
L: Sean's asleep.
S: Luke, it's 3am there!
L: Yeah, had a dream, it woke me up.
S: A bad dream?
L: No, definitely a good one.
S: Was I in it?
L: Yes.
S: What'd I do? Wear? Say?
L: It's bad.
S: I thought it was a good dream?
L: It was.
S: Ohhhhh! I was in it. ;)
L: Shit.
S: What was I doing?
L: Should we really be talking about this?
S: Yes.
S: What was I doing?
S: Luke?
L: You were sitting on my truck.
S: You mean Oscar?
L: Stop calling my truck that, it's Truck, not Oscar.
S: Was I naked?
L: Mostly.
S: Ooooh!
L: There was a red ribbon around your waist & you stole my hat.
S: Sounds like me! I always wear nothing but a ribbon.
L: I miss you.
S: Me too.
L: In all ways.
S: Same. *wink*
"What the fuck are you doing, Danes?" Sean called from the other side of the room. "I'm trying to sleep here."
"Shit, sorry," Luke said quietly, trying to type a few last sentences.
L: I woke Sean up, gotta go.
S: :(
L: I love you.
S: I love you too!
L: Sean agreed to be my best man. Night!
And with that, he shut his laptop, shoved it amongst the detritus of his nightstand and plopped back onto his pillows.
I'm forever yours
Ever yours
Faithfully