Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I am just using the names that she created for her wonderful story.

This story was pre-read and beta'd by the wonderful X-NessieCullen-X. Special thanks to you, my dear, for making this not so pretty story a little more shiny ;)

~I am giving a final warning for those sensitive readers out there. This one may be hard to read for some.

Chapter 10

Breaking and Baking

"Did you and Tanya date when you were in high school?" Bella asked softly as they lay in bed that night.

"No," he answered just as quietly, playing with her hair. "She dated Em for a little while. She's...uh...she's Rosalie's cousin."

Bella gave him a confused look and he just smiled. "Emmett broke up with her before he and Rosalie really even started to talk. Tanya had just decided to go her own way and Emmett wasn't willing to follow."

"People go their own ways. People grow up and... They move on."

"I care about you." Bella was only trying to make small talk but Edward whispered the words like he had meant them to be silent, said only in his head. It caused tears to come to her eyes.

"I...I..." her voice cracked as she tried to speak but couldn't quite do so.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"We're more than what we started, aren't we? We're even more than just friends. I should have stopped. I never should have let myself..."

"Don't do this. Please don't leave," he was saying it as she was sitting up, pulling away from him.

"Edward, I'm going to sleep on the couch. I need to think. I need...I've never..."

Edward pulled himself up quickly and went to her, careful not to touch her and she knew it was because he was scared. "Bella, where did you go? Don't slip back into that scared girl. Don't leave me."

"Can you not see me? I...I'm right here. I'm standing right here and...it's not my fault. Dammit!" Bella tried to pull herself together; she had no idea why she felt so angry. She really was crazy. The bastards have taken everything! Even my chances of being loved. It's not fucking fair!

She stood there, breathing heavily and wondering how their warm, content moment could turn into this...into such anger, such frustration. How can he possibly still want me? Does he not see that I'm ruined? To her surprise, he stepped closer, close enough to hug her if he wanted to. He still would not touch her, though. "Bella, do it! Get mad! Yell and scream! It's okay to be mad!"

I didn't want it. I didn't want to be given to men but they treated me like it was my choice! Those bastards are the reason I didn't get to go to school! They're the reason I can't go to the doctor or open a bank account. Those men, those rich bastards that would look at me like I was nothing, they knew! They justified it by telling me I was a whore, that I wanted it. "I didn't want to do it!" screamed Bella, her fists clenching as her face contorted and she breathed heavily through her nose.

The second the words left her mouth, she bit down on her fist, trying to stop the other words that were there on the tip of her tongue. They wanted me for my body and they took everything from me because of their sick obsession! They're the reason I don't know who my parents are now! They're the reason I don't know if my parents are happy at all or sitting around waiting for their daughter to return. They're the reason I can't love him. I can't love Edward. I can't. I can't. "I can't. I can't. I can't."

She didn't realize she was verbalizing any of her thoughts again until he tried to interrupt her. Her stomach turned and she ran to the bathroom. When she couldn't even gag anymore, she just cried. Edward never bothered her; it was like he knew she needed to be left alone, given privacy. He had told her it was okay to be mad. It was the first time anyone told her how it was okay to act. How do I experience trauma like I went through and know how to act if no one tells me?Edward told me. I love that he told me.

After what felt like hours, she came out of the bathroom, her breathing now normal and she was much more composed. Biting her lip, she found Edward in the kitchen with a cup of tea in front of him and another sitting at the seat across from, waiting for her. "If you want me to leave I can."

"No. I never want you to leave. Please, have some tea. It should still be warm."

"You can't fix me."

"I'm not trying to."

"We can't love each other."

He opened his mouth to shoot back another reply but closed it again when nothing came out. He stared at her for a long time before pressing his lips into straight line and stirring his tea around. "I'm not trying to."

"I'm scared."

"I know," he said so softly she barely heard it. Then, and she could swear she saw tears in his eyes; he looked straight at her and said with conviction. "I won't let them hurt you anymore."

"You can't promise me that. I don't want you to promise me that."

"There are a lot of things you don't want but I am incapable of not doing," he was almost angry as he slid his chair back and dumped the rest of his tea into the sink. She watched him stride back to the bedroom, wondering if she should follow, when seconds later he came back with a pillow and a blanket. "You sleep on the bed."

"I don't want..."

"I don't care!"

Swallowing hard, she felt like running and knew she had the money there. All she had to do was grab the bag and go. He'd never find her again. He was mad and when men became angry, they were dangerous. Her feet stayed firmly planted on the ground, though. She wasn't going anywhere. She couldn't. As much as she wanted to tell herself that they couldn't love each other, it was too late. She wasn't trying either and yet it was already too late. Holding her head high, she took her tea back to his room, closing the door more gently than she had intended, and climbed into bed.

Darkness fell early that night as she waited outside in the snow. As the sun went down, it seemed that the world around her was freezing more and more. There was no feeling in her toes and her hands weren't fairing much better in the scraps of fabric she had them wrapped in. A man was meeting her on the road beside the old motel she was forced to frequent. Her heels were open-toed and she wanted to cry, wondering if frost bite was setting in. It sure as hell felt like it.

"Izzy?"

Bella couldn't smile; she had trouble even lifting her eyes. She tried to remember what she was told to do. Smile. Act like you want it. She didn't say anything but took his cue to walk into the motel by herself. Making her way up the side steps that would lead to the top balcony floor; she waited outside of the usual room and bit her lip. Hard. Finally finding courage, she went into the room and closed her eyes.

She had long ago stopped trying to make herself come up with reasons why things weren't so bad. Had this been a few months ago, she may have thought the man at least looked slightly attractive, had he not been there to take advantage of her so that her boss could make a cheap buck...or not so cheap buck...she had heard rumors about how much some of the other girls cost. She had no idea what her worth was and with that thought, she turned when the door opened and then clicked shut.

From the look on his face, Bella could tell he was new to this. That didn't make him any better in her mind. He was dressed up like he was going out for a night on the town and she swallowed hard as he slowly approached her. He emptied his pockets as he went before taking off the suit jacket and laying it on one of the twin beds. When he turned to face her, he took off the belt of his pants and she began to shake. As he pulled off the belt, he set a gun on top of the jacket.

"Poor little girl," he smirked, walking towards her, the belt still in his hand. "Come undress me."

He was now in front of her and she reached her shaking hands up to unbutton his shirt. Her stomach turned and she closed her eyes for just a second, just long enough to pretend for a moment that she was somewhere else. A sharp pain hit the back of her leg and she screamed out. Almost falling into him, she swayed a little and he hit her with the belt again, right across the other leg. "No. Please..."

"Come on, Izzy. It's consensual, right? Doesn't this turn you on, even just a little bit?"

Silent tears fell down her cheeks as she tried to hold her head high. The short skirt was doing very little to protect her so she was thankful that her legs were slightly numb from being outside. She managed to get the shirt off and she reached for the zipper of his pants. He hit her hand with the belt; a welt immediately appeared across the bottom of her knuckles. "My turn, baby."

Kneeling in front of her, he slid off her skirt and pushed her to the ground, ripping her shirt as she fell. "Don't look at me."

This was a command that she could actually comply with. Her humiliation had already gotten the best of her and she stared at the floor in front of her. She screamed as he hit her again but this time, he stuffed something in her mouth to keep her quiet, not giving her the chance to do it yet again...

"Bella?"

This was wrong. Even as she was receiving the punishing blows from this man, she managed to straighten a little. This wasn't what happened. No one used that name here...

"Bella? Bella, please! Please, please, please just open your eyes. Wake up!"

Suddenly, there was a bed underneath her and she panicked, wondering if she had passed out from the pain of the blows. Her pillow was soaking wet and she wondered how badly she was bruised. "Bella! Thank God! I've been trying to wake you..."

That's when she realized there would be no bruises; this was just a sick dream, even if it had happened to her before. As she lay there, hearing a soft voice above her, she felt dizzy and grabbed out for anything to hold her steady. Before she knew what was happening, she was on someone's lap. They were holding her to their chest and rocking her like a child. Edward. Too tired to fight and too shaken to care if it was right or wrong, she wrapped her arms around him and held on for dear life. If he was talking to her, she had no idea what was being said as she just cried and cried.

"What did you dream about?" he asked softly after a while.

She shook her head, keeping her eyes closed and just leaning into him. They remained that way for so long that Bella must have fallen back to sleep. When light came in through the raised curtains, she felt Edward stir underneath her and she opened her swollen eyes. They weren't on the bed at all. Instead, they were on the floor by the bed. He still held her to his chest, in the same position she had fallen back to sleep in a few hours ago. He was cross legged on the floor and she was cuddled into him.

"Edward?" she asked, touching his face gently. He was still half asleep. When he finally opened his eyes and looked down at her, she hugged him tight but then let go and said very softly, "You can let go now, Edward."

After another long moment, Edward reluctantly let her go but immediately helped her settle back into bed. "It's still early. Go back to sleep."

He stood up to leave and she panicked in her sleepy state, reaching out for him again. "Don't go. Please."

Edward kissed her forehead before standing up and walking over to the windows. Once the sun was blocked, he lay down beside her and pulled her towards him once again. "I'm right here. I shouldn't have acted the way I did last night. There was no reason for me to yell at you. There is also no excuse for it."

"It's okay..."

"Do you typically scream for help in your sleep?"

"Sometimes," she nodded honestly as her eyes almost closing again on their own, "but no one ever comes."

"I'll always be there...if you'd just let me."

"I need you," Bella whispered, exhaustion speaking for her as she held onto him tighter.

"Sleep. We'll talk later."

"I can't talk...I love you."

Bella woke hours later, feeling slightly refreshed and smiled when she saw Edward there. He was still holding her. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged, "I'm sorry about last night. About all of it. I can't believe how I acted."

"I don't think that anger and sadness was aimed at me. I'm just glad I was here when you were screaming last night. I wanted to give you space but when I heard you..."

"No. I'm glad you were there to wake me. They get...intense."

"Bella, when you woke up, you said something..."

What did I say? Was it about the dream? "What did I say?"

He looked away and Bella watched him run a hand through his hair. "You said...I might have heard you wrong...but if I didn't that's okay too..."

"Edward, what did I say?" Bella asked again, desperately needing to know.

"You said you love me."

"No I didn't," Bella answered quickly, almost too quickly. Please, God, let him understand. They weren't even supposed to be friends. It just felt so, so good to have someone to turn to. It felt so good to have someone to protect her, even if he could only protect her from herself. He looked crestfallen.

"Okay. That's fine. Really."

"I should go. I should leave now..." Edward sat back as Bella spoke those words, she could tell she was hurting him. After everything he did for her, it broke her heart. It was the one part of her that hadn't been shattered. Her body, her mind, and even her soul might be gone but unlike every other girl she knew, she never had her heart broken. She had never had a first love, something else those bastards took from her. "I can't, though. It's not okay that I can't. Edward, there's a reason I don't have many friends. I need to be able to just leave if I have to. I can't do that with you. I'm really, really scared of that."

"What if I told you that you don't have to run away. Whatever this is that you're afraid of, we could face it together."

The idea of Edward anywhere near those bastards was something she couldn't stomach. If it wasn't over the danger he would be in, it was the image of her avenger near those soulless human beings that made her stomach turn. She could not even imagine him anywhere near those motels, warehouses, and old office buildings. That would never be him. It couldn't. He didn't belong in that world.

"You don't understand!"

"Are you worried about going to jail? Bella, are you wanted..."

"No! I'm not running from the police." The irony of that statement slammed into her. Only one police officer, my father.

"Is it your parents? Have they hurt you?"

"No. My parents were...are...wonderful."

"You haven't spoken to them in a while, have you?"

"No."

"How long, Bella?"

She didn't know why she answered truthfully but she did. "Four years."

His eyes widened. "If they weren't dangerous than why won't you speak to them? If they're so wonderful don't you think they at least deserve a phone call?"

Bella knew she made a mistake in telling him. Family was obviously very important to him and he very much cared for at least his mother. This is just another reason that I don't deserve you. I don't belong in this world just as much as you don't belong in mine. "I don't have a choice."

"So, you're not in any legal trouble and you aren't running from your family...well, not because they hurt you but for another reason. How long have you been here in the city?"

"A little over a year."

"And before that? Where were you then?"

"A lot of places. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

He tilted his head to the side but nodded. "I have an idea."

She sat up in the bed then, pushing her hair out of her face. "Let's shower and then head over to your place. You can get fresh clothes and do whatever you have to do and then I know a certain group of people that could really use some help making cookies and things to serve at the benefit..."

"I don't know if I can do this. Your family seems great but I..."

"I'm not taking no for an answer. Do you want to eat or shower first?"

"Shower," Bella answered quickly, then blushed, looking down at her hands.

"Alright. I'll have something ready for you when you come out."

"Oh." Bella caught herself before she gave him the biggest frown of her life. She thought he meant for them to shower together. You just had a horrible dream about a horrible sexual experience and now you want to take him into the shower with you? Yup. We're off to the loony bin...

"Don't look so disappointed..."

"I'm not. If you want to, though...I mean...it's okay if you want to..."

"I'd be honored to join you, Bells," he smirked, kissing her on the cheek, "but if we wait too much longer, they'll be done with the baking before we can even help them. There's no way in hell I can resist a wet Bella. Let me make you something to eat while you take a hot shower. Try to relax a little."

Bella felt sick. His family's home was possibly one of the coziest homes she'd ever been to. It was a beautiful brick house: complete with a porch swing and apple tree. The driveway was full of cars and Edward pulled up right up front before coming around to open her door. "Are you going to tell them about me?"

"I'm not going to lie to them but they'll be okay with it..."

"I'm not the women your mother wants you to fall for, Edward. How can you say..."

"Look at me," he said, stopping at the top of the porch stairs and taking her by the chin to look at him. "I'm not going to stand by and hear anyone cut you down. My family will not treat you badly. Rosalie is the only one who may be upset but she's not upset with you. She's more pissed at Jasper and I. Please, just give them a chance."

"I shouldn't be here. This is a family thing."

"They need the help. Trust me." Bella assessed his tone and determined that he was being honest. If he was going to introduce her to them, she was glad she had something to offer. Help. Taking a deep breath, she reclaimed his hand and braced herself as he opened and stepped through the front door.

"Emmett, I swear to the big man upstairs, if you throw one more stinking cookie..."

"Esme, hand me those pot holders!"

"Alice, love, if you eat all the cookies there won't be any more for the benefit!"

"Emmett! You heard your mom! Stop it!"

Bella's hand had a death grip on Edward's as they rounded a corner into their very warm, very noisy kitchen. At first, no one really even noticed their presence and Bella took in the scene before them. The pregnant Alice was putting icing and sprinkles on the cookies as she munched away on them. Rosalie was stirring the batter in a large bowl while the woman Bella recognized as his mother, Esme, was helping to spoon blobs of the batter onto a banking pan. Jasper was helping Alice while Emmett was just kind of setting cookies onto a cooling rack and handing the empty trays back to an older blonde man.

A flour-covered Rosalie looked up at them, the first to notice they were there, and just stared at Bella. It wasn't like she was being rude; she just seemed to be contemplating the situation. Esme looked up next and beamed when she saw her son. With a wooden spoon still in her hand and flour covering her arm, she strode over and hugged him before even noticing Bella. "Well, hello. Who is this Edward?"

Bella wished she could run and hide. This was terrifying. "Mom," Edward began, "this is my close friend, Bella Swan. Bella, this is my mom, Esme Cullen."

"Hi," Bella smiled shyly but was taken by surprise when Esme's face lit up again and she pulled Bella in for a tight hug. Not expecting it, and still holding onto Edward, she squeezed his hand and he looked at her with concern on his face.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Bella. Welcome to our home."

The blonde man came over then and smiled warmly at Edward, Bella took a step back from him. "Bella, this is my father, Carlisle Cullen."

"It's nice seeing you again," he responded towards Bella warmly, though he looked rather embarrassed. She stood up as straight as possible. This was getting awkward and it was about to get worse.

It was Emmett that really made her almost lose her cool. He was huge, over six feet tall and very muscular. "She's a cutie, bro. Where'd you find her?"

Here it is, Bella. Prepare for them to kick you out. I never should have let Edward talk me into this... "Actually, I met her the night of your bachelor party."

"I think I'd remember a pretty girl like her."

Rosalie scoffed, mixing the batter with a little more force than necessary. "You don't remember much of that night. Conveniently, you mainly don't remember the end..."

"Lighten up, Rosalie," Edward said, walking around the table to give her a gentle punch to the arm.

"Yeah, if he doesn't remember a stripper from that night..." Jasper began before Alice elbowed him.

Immediately, Bella's entire face turned red and Edward walked back over to her, taking her hand again. "You're one of the girls?" Rosalie asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow not at her but at Edward.

"She is. Speaking of Rosalie, I spoke with your cousin, Tanya. She works with Bella."

This seemed to shut the blonde up and Esme spoke for the first time. "Is that where you've been all these nights? Do you have any idea how worried we've been about you? Why didn't you tell us you met someone? Edward Anthony..."

"Mom, relax. Bella and I are just...together...right now. I would never intentionally keep something like this from you to make you worry."

"Bella," Carlisle spoke, addressing her directly, "would you like to help Alice decorate the cookies?"

"Of course."

"Good," he smiled. "Esme, leave our son alone and get that batch in the oven. We only have a few more hours and I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to grill Bella on everything later."

"Of course. I didn't mean to be rude. It's just...Edward likes to be his own person so much. We go days without seeing him and he almost never brings anyone to meet us..."

"Esme," Carlisle warned, looking pointedly at the still empty baking pan.

Esme sighed before hugging Bella again and patting her son on the cheek. "Edward, you can help box everything up."

For the next two hours, Bella laughed along with the fun, loud family and tried not to think of her own parents who she had left behind. His family really was wonderful, even Rosalie who she could tell was none too happy with her future brother-in-law. Everyone seemed to genuinely enjoy themselves and the only problem she was having was dealing with Emmett. He was big, loud, and not at all what her jumpy self needed. A few times, she'd grabbed onto the table...or Edward...when Emmett got too close to her. Breathing heavily, she did manage to get through those couple of hours and helped Edward carry the rest of the boxes to a van outside.

As if they assumed she was there to stay, at least for the day, Esme kissed her on the cheek and then turned to Edward. "Emmett will follow you down to the club. We'll bring everyone else once we're cleaned up a little. Rosalie and Alice are working on the dishes."

As much as my diehards love the story, I'd also love to hear from everyone. The next couple chapters-particularly chapter 12 is a bit intense. I'll send you a preview for eleven if you leave me some love. Please review. Letzigprincess xx