Music Choice: Cavalleria Rusticana - Intermezzo by Pietro Mascagni

CHAPTER 10 - It's Only Fair

"It looks like Gaius is hitting it off with a new lady friend," Merlin whispers to Gwen as he stands behind the royal table, waiting for Arthur's beck and call.

Gwen lets out a deep sigh, "Well, at least someone is hitting it off."

"Lucky for you, Elena and Arthur are a complete disaster," Merlin looks at her with a crooked grin.

"Merlin!" She elbows him on the side. Her relationship with Arthur has usually been an unspeakable topic between her and Merlin, except for the occasional looks and smiles of teasing from Merlin, they usually do not talk about her feelings. But he has tried to get her to open up about it, but to no avail. Indeed the situation with Elena and Arthur has been very uncomfortable for her, so she decides to move the conversation away from her, "So . . . how are you and Lady Morgana?"

"We're doing . . . just great," he answers as he looks at the back of Morgana's head, who is nibbling on her food slowly. "I would say we're getting along."

"That's good to hear. She hasn't been herself ever since she got back," she also looks at her direction. "But I hope that our friendships will be rebuilt."

Merlin is still somewhat in shock from what he did earlier. He didn't expect how open and bold he was going to be when he finally had a chance to talk to Morgana. Actually, at the time that he was trying to get her to talk to him, he already felt too forward with her. He attributes it to his inexperience with dealing wisely with his emotions . . . strong emotions. He saw it in himself when he fell for Freya, how quickly he lost all sensibility at the sight of a beautiful woman. It only took a few moments of seeing her to impassion him to risk his life to save her, and eventually venture to leave his destiny behind only after a few days of knowing her. He could only imagine his deeds if he knew her for as long as he does Morgana.

He could say that what just happened with Morgana outside the great hall is similar. But unlike Freya, he has already known Morgana even before he came to the realization of his feelings for her. So the new relationship he has with her have deeper roots, making him more susceptible, more vulnerable. He understands that he needs to have better command of his emotions in order to have control of his actions. They almost got caught, he almost put both of their lives in danger, especially his life if Uther hears wind of a servant defiling his ward. He comes to a decision to be more careful when he's around her.

"Yes, me too. I hope of the same thing. She hasn't been the same, that's why I believe she needs both of us . . . and Arthur I guess, to be there for her."

"*hic*" The mildly inebriated princess Elena hiccups in the background, grabbing the attention of the two friends.

"Oh dear. I seem to have, erm . . . had a little too much *hic* of what is in that glass. *hic*"

Morgana struggles to keep her food in at the sight of Elena's plight. She manages to control herself from laughter as she instinctively looks behind her for Merlin to give him a did you see that look. It seems Merlin has the same idea as they both lock eyes with each other, overcome with smiles.

The sight of the state of her friends lifts Gwen's spirit as she curiously looks back and forth between them. She sees something different in the way Merlin and Morgana are looking at each other, as if they are back to being good friends once again . . . or even more. What was once a hopeless situation, is now developing differently in front of her eyes.

She has noticed the relationship between Morgana and Merlin ever since Morgana's return, and the only type of eye contact she's seen exchanged between them are piercing and aggressive staring matches. Everytime those two were confined in the same room together, especially every great hall meeting, it would surprise her that no one else could see the way those two glared at each other. The intensity, anger, and weight of each look displaying a history between the two that she is unaware of . . . but somehow, she can see something else in those looks, almost like there is a hint of . . . inappropriateness in their looks . . . as if an attraction was there.

Nonetheless, she can't help but be happy at the situation, even in her own trying times. She shares a look with Arthur and they both smile at the situation with Elena. She squeezes his shoulder and heads for the kitchen. But before leaving the room, she is able to look back to where Merlin is standing; he is still staring, and this time, it is more of inappropriateness than of a staring match.

###

"It's okay Sir Leon, I will be fine for tonight," Morgana bids Leon goodnight as he plants a soft kiss on her hand. He has just escorted her to her chambers after a long night at the feast.

"Goodnight milady." He turns swiftly to leave the hallway only to be hit on the head with a falling rock. He looks up at the ceiling with blame in his eyes as he scratches his head and shrugs it off. He walks from the corridor not noticing that a presence is hidden behind one of the elaborate tapestries in the castle walls.

"~Was . . . that really . . .necessary Merlin?~" Morgana telepathically addresses him as she looks at the tapestry from her door.

Merlin slowly emerges behind his cover, "~Was that kiss really necessary?~" He says half-mockingly.

"~If I . . .didn't know. . . any better . . . I'd think you . . . were jealous?~" Her smile is still clearly visible even in the dark corridor.

He skillfully evades her prying eyes, eyes looking for a reaction from him, as he walks in the cover of the darker part of the corridor. His presence is only momentarily concealed in darkness as Morgana recognizes a pair of gold eyes betraying his location and his use of magic.

In a few steps, he appears in front of her, moving his hands skillfully to affix a red rose on her hair, a single flower that he just conjured with his magic. He chooses to whisper with his voice, "You're not wearing the flower I gave you this morning," he states as a matter of fact. "I wouldn't blame you if you threw it away earlier in anger. So I thought a replacement was needed."

"I may have misplaced it earlier," she grins playfully. "Or incinerated it perhaps . . ."

"Well, this one is better. I've put a couple of enchantments on it."

"Enchantments? . . . Hopefully nothing too serious," she looks up to the rose on her hair.

"Nothing serious. Just some simple enchantments for sleeping and . . ."

"And . . .?"

". . . and . . . proximity magic."

"Proximity magic for who?" Her eyebrows raise in question. "Is this for Leon?"

"Uhh . . ." he scratches his head and nervously looks around to avoid her eyes. The proximity magic is really meant to inform him if Morgause gets too close to her, but it wouldn't hurt to add people to the list, he thought to himself. "Not really. . ."

"Oh Merlin," she smirks at him. "So tell me. What happens if he gets too close to me? Rocks magically fall on him? Or maybe . . . he magically falls down some stairs?"

Merlin's face shows shock at the mention of the subject that almost caused him to lose Morgana. However, her nonchalant manner on the issue slightly calms him, hinting at him that she is not dwelling on that incident any longer. Nevertheless, he is lousy at hiding his nervousness, "Morgana . . . I . . I"

"Merlin, don't worry. I'm only teasing," she playfully slaps him on his chest. "We already had a talk about this remember? At the feast earlier . . . when we almost . . . had a moment."

"Ehhh . . . I remember," his face settles to a worried look. "About earlier. . . about what happened . . . I shouldn't have done that. I got a little too reckless."

"Reckless was it?" Morgana places her hand to rest on his chest as she gives him a knowing smile. "I think I would like a little more of Reckless Merlin."

Merlin begins to sweat at the contact, he struggles to talk at her gesture, "I need to have more control of myself. I got a bit . . . urrmm . . . forward."

"Forward? No. I think it was more . . . authoritative, and genuine," she unconsciously flitters her eyes at the memory of Merlin telling her to be quiet to let him finish talking, taking control of the situation. This is a side of Merlin that she only saw from him from time to time, but it never fails to invigorate her to see this from him. Being a woman of power and strong conviction, it is unusual for any man to be able to tell her what to do. Even Uther and Arthur have a hard time with her, but Merlin, even with his clumsy exterior, and circumspect façade, has a side to him that makes her feel . . . exposed, defenseless, and yet still safe.

"It wasn't smart for me to do that so carelessly. We were out in the open. Leon and Gwen almost saw us," fear grips Merlin at the consequences. "It could've easily been Arthur . . . or even Uther that turned up behind those doors." Merlin rubs his neck at the thought of Uther.

"Uther . . ." Morgana's countenance changes at the mention of Uther. The thought of Uther doing anything to Merlin wakes the anger that she's been keeping for the man. All the lies, deceit, and tyranny by Uther has been the reason to the growing evil in her heart. She accepts that she has hatred for Uther, but it is very uncharacteristic for anyone to grow so hostile towards anyone so quickly. She remembers that she still has to ask Merlin about the bracelet since it is when she obtained it that she started changing rapidly, ". . . I am curious Merlin. I know I ran out on you earlier, and you might not have had the time with the dragon to ask. But did the dragon tell you anything about my bracelet?"

"Yes, the bracelet," he notices the change in Morgana's countenance. "I was able to ask him briefly before I ran to follow you."

"Good." She steps out from her door a little into the corridor to look down the hallway. "I think it's best if you came inside. We should talk about this in private."

Merlin looks hesitantly inside her room, "I'm not sure about this Morgana. I'm not fully recovered from what almost happened between us earlier. I . . . don't trust myself alone with you."

"Oh rubbish Merlin, do you not think I have self-control myself?" She pulls him by the hand and leads him to her room. "In you go. Go ahead, have a seat."

Merlin moves to take a seat on one of her dining table chairs. Morgana sits on a chair right next to him, visibly making Merlin uncomfortable.

"Maybe I should sit across from you?" He moves to stand but Morgana grabs his arm and pulls him down to sit back once again.

"No, this is fine," she grins mischievously at him as she scoots her seat close to him. "Now. Tell me about the bracelet."

"Ah, yes. The bracelet," he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "The dragon said it was forged with dark magic and that it is used to stop dreams, in a way, block you from what you truly are, a seer. Dark magic that hinders you from who you truly are usually have side effects, from what I gather, it also blocks who you truly are, the goodness and kindness in you, and it amplifies the darkness in your soul."

"I see," she looks up in thought, unconsciously still holding onto Merlin's arm. "It seems the dragon believes I have more evil than good?"

Merlin hesitates to answer, "Yes, he does."

"How am I evil when all I've been doing is trying to protect our kind from pointless slaughter? Uther's fear for magic has caused so much injustice on the innocent. If there was someone that's evil, it's HIM."

"I understand your intentions are honorable Morgana. But it is the means that you take to achieve your goals that define you."

"So are you saying that I should just sit idly by while that man slaughters for fear? Do you expect me to hide who I truly am just to appease the fears of a tyrant? I'm not like you Merlin, I have to take action, I can't sit back and do nothing."

"That's not fair Morgana. You can't just assume that I don't do anything. We both fight for the same goal, freedom for our kind, freedom to use magic. Killing Uther with magic will not help us reach that goal. We need to soften Arthur's heart to magic. He is the one destined to free our kind."

"Did the dragon tell you that?"

"He did . . . and I believe him. I believe in Arthur. Morgana . . . I believe in you too. We should be working together, we have the same goal."

"Then why does it always seem that we're on opposite sides? Is this the dragon's doing?"

"Partly, but I won't put all blame on him. It was I that made all the decisions, decisions that pushed you away," Merlin takes a deep breath at his admission. "Morgana, I know how lonely it can get for someone like us. I guess it's good that you had someone to share magic with in Morgause, even if I don't support her means, but people like us need to stick together. Morgana, I won't make the same mistake again. I need you on my side. You will have my trust, as I hopefully will have yours?"

"What are you saying to me Merlin? How about Morgause? She is my sister," Morgana is troubled at Merlin's offer. Morgause has been there for her when she needed it most. She knows the love she has for her. She understands that Morgause's ways can be immoral and wrong, but how can she go against her own flesh and blood. Her body visibly sags and her countenance changes distinctly. Merlin can see the burden that this has put on her as he has to reach out to hold Morgana.

He lifts her from her seat and helps walk her to sit on her bed where he knows she can be more comfortable. He sits next to her on her soft mattress, possibly dreading the result of what he is asking Morgana to do.

"I understand Morgana," Merlin reaches his hands out to hold both of hers, his body is turned sideways to face her, his eyes looking at the woman in front of him in deep thought. "I'm not asking you to go against her, maybe she can even be swayed to take a better approach for our goals?"

"Are you asking me to speak to her?"

"Well . . . I know that you are long overdue for a visit from her. Maybe you can suggest it to her. Tell her of Arthur's destiny. That it has been foretold."

Morgana sighs quietly, "I will try, but I don't know how she will take it. We'll just have to see."

"That's all I ask," Merlin gives her a broad smile as she now has turned to meet the gaze of his piercing blue eyes. They stay settled in their place, breathing in each other's stares. Stationary and immovable, what was once an action they used to impart their anger and disapproval towards each other, is now an action that they can claim to use to impart their trust and affection.

Merlin is the first to break their serenity as he lifts Morgana's hand to plant a kiss of his own. "He got to kiss your hand. . .just wanted it to be fair" he gives her a wide grin as he falls back to lay on her bed, legs dangling on its edge, feet touching the floor.

Morgana follows as she falls back right next to Merlin, her head is sideways, her eyes directed at him while his eyes look up at the ceiling.

He incants a spell, Hoppaþ nu swilce swá lieg fleogan.

His eyes glow gold as small embers materialize to fill the space around them, floating on air, illuminating Morgana's room with different colors. The beauty of the colors radiate Morgana's face, as she smiles at the magnificence of Merlin's display. "Merlin . . . it's beautiful."

She moves herself closer to Merlin's body, finding a comfortable spot for her head to rest between his shoulder and neck, her arm is pinned between her bed and his lower back as she grips his waist. Merlin tilts his head sideways towards Morgana, his cheek just touching the crest of her head, her raven hair draped all over his right arm.

Morgana looks on at the brightness and the splendor of Merlin's magic, in awe of how easily he controls it. They both stay silent as they marvel on, not realizing that tiredness has begun taking hold of their presence of mind, in only a few more moments, sleep will overcome them, Merlin first, then she will follow.

Almost overcome by fatigue, she lays comfortably in the arms of the man that she once loathed, a man that was once her enemy, but now a friend, or even more. To think that she would ever end up laying next to this man, close to sleep, being held by him, is not a future she would've been able to foretell. Merlin, the servant, the physician's ward, the hidden savior of Camelot, the strong warlock, is sleeping in her bed, spending the night.

She has asked him of this before, a request for him to spend the night in order for her to get close to him again, and even to have him close to her to help alleviate the fears from her dreams since she is without her bracelet. However, he's turned her invitation down, he walked out on her that night. He's walked out on her several times in the past, but now, she believes it's only about time for him to finally grant her one request.

"It's only fair. . ."

11/16/2013

a long chapter for you guys since I've been lagging on updates :D