"Sometimes I wake up, and it's [the music] there. Or I'll hear it when I'm walking down the street. It's like someone's calling out to me. Writing it all down is my way of calling back to them." - August Rush
.........
CHAPTER EIGHT: I'M NOT THAT GIRL
September 25th, 1942...
"You are going to do great!" Sheila said.
"I don't know…" Jessica still hadn't told her friends--well, more her followers--about the last-minute song change. She still decided to wear her pink frilly dress, but only because she thought it'd be a good contrast to the song (which it was).
"Take a deep breath, I know you'll knock their socks off!" Natasha called over her shoulder as she and Sheila walked away.
"Oh, I'm sure I will…" Jessica mumbled to herself as she waited patiently to go on.
.........
"Remind me again why you three dragged me to this?" Laurie asked, already bored.
"Jessica's singing a song," Jack reminded her.
"So? She sings all the time. Big deal."
"It's still nice to come and support her," Piggy insisted.
"Shut up, fat ass."
Piggy frowned. "And what has you all cranky?"
"Being here." She sighed. "Can I please leave?"
"No," Jack and Piggy said together.
"Fine," Laurie conceded, sulking in her seat.
.........
Jessica heard Mrs. Quillum say her name. She took a deep breath.
This was it.
She walked over to the piano and handed Mrs. Quillum the music. She sat on a stool that sat in a single spotlight on the stage. She held a cordless microphone, her hands shaking.
"Um…before I start, I'd just like to say thanks to my brother, Jack, for helping me with this song. He knew I was going through a rough time…and I'm glad he was there to help me finish this. So, thanks, Jack.
"Also…this song is dedicated to someone special."
An "ooohhh" arose from the audience.
"I…want to keep this person anonymous…but I'd just like to let that person know it's dedicated to them. You know who you are."
She exhaled as Mrs. Quillum started the opening the chords of the song.
Here went nothing.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
For a few short moments, she relived that connection she had had with Simon only six days before. Just as in the song, her heart leapt and started pounding.
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
Ralph had been excited to see his girlfriend sing in the talent show. He figured it'd be an in-out type of situation: he'd sit, she'd sing, he'd leave, he'd congratulate her, he'd go to bed.
He had no idea that the lyrics would mean this much to him.
Perhaps he knew better than anyone what it was like to be someone you're not. As a boy, he, like Jessica, had been bullied. He tried building himself as someone tough, and it had worked.
But now…hearing those words being sung by someone who was in his place…he felt that things had to change…
Every so often, we long to steal
To the land of What-Might-Have-Been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Jack didn't want to feel too proud or anything, but he couldn't help but smile. His sister was doing something she loved to do, singing a song that they had written together.
He could only hope Simon felt the same. After all their hard work, he was about ready to force Simon to like the song.
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She's who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows
I'm not that girl
Piggy glanced warily at Laurie. Even though she wasn't any of those things besides blonde…he couldn't help but have a feeling that that verse was about her. He had figured out during the very first line of the very first verse that this song was about Simon, who had told him about his encounter with Jessica in the rain.
As a musical interlude of two measures ensued, Simon fought to blink back his tears. He knew in his heart that the song was for him. He had no idea that Jessica felt that strongly about him.
However…it wasn't going to work out. He didn't know which side of he was real anymore. And he wasn't about to give her another chance to prove herself.
For a split second that seemed to last for hours, their eyes met. The next words struck a powerful cord in him, and he no longer felt the need to hold his emotions back.
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know…
He loves her so…
I'm not…that girl…
The finals notes were hit, and the crowd erupted in ground-shattering applause.
.........
"She didn't sing the right song!" Natasha said. "But who cares? SHE WAS STILL AMAZING!"
"Whatever she does as amazing!" Sheila agreed. "I'm sooooo happy she won!"
"And I'd be sooooo happy if you two would shut up," Laurie muttered.
"Laurie," Piggy scolded. "She was good…don't dampen the moment."
"She was amazing," Ralph said. I still can't believe…"
Simon said nothing. Shock was still on his face.
"I'm going to go look for her…" Jack said, realizing his sister wasn't present.
.........
He found her in the main hall.
"You okay?" he asked.
Her face was streaked with tears, but she nodded. "It's just…I know now."
"What?"
"It's never going to work…between me and…"
"At least we tried," Jack said. "And…now we have a song to be proud of."
"I suppose…"
"Hey." He hugged her. "Don't sweat it. Everything's going to work out for the better."
They walked down the hall, not knowing what would happen the following day.