~Cold but I'm Still Here~
A Bleach fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. But I DO own this fanfic!! ^_^ hey! I actually own something in this disclaimer, cool!...in other words, please don't copy!

Summary: Ember is an ordinary girl, leading an ordinary life. But it was boring, lacking, and downright depressing. Her only high points were when she was watching anime, listening to music, and sleeping-all of which sent her to a better place. She longed for something to happen that would turn her life upside-down, anything to bring her out of her lonely, miserable shell, she longed for adventure. She never thought anything would happen, until one day, a mysterious stranger transferred to her school and turned her life out-of-whack. Yet for some reason, this mysterious stranger was highly reminiscent of her favourite anime character….

~CHAPTER TEN~

(AMBER MATTAYA)

...I was suddenly glad that I hadn't walked into 3rd division to look for Gin. What would he have done if I found him?

Kiyone grabbed my arm and hauled me towards another room, slightly scaring me at her enthusiastic behaviour.

So…I had to find a way to live through the entire soul society arc? Wonderful…Simply marvellous.

I found myself in a large room filled with shinigami, obviously from 13th division. They all stared at me as I walked in with their hyperactive third seat.

From what I could tell, they were unseated shinigami. Their zanpuktohs, weren't zanpuktohs, but ordinary and plan swords. They looked at me expectantly as Kiyone lead me to the front of the room facing the soul reapers.

"Yamamoto-soutaichou has finally sent a replacement for Rukia Kuchiki! Shirember Mannaya will be your new trainer!" she said happily. I froze. Trainer?...I really wish I knew what Rukia was doing in soul society before she went to karakura town.

The shinigami all stood up and started popping questions at me.

"Mannaya-san! How long have you been a seated shinigami?"

"Shirember-sensei! What division are you from?"

"What will you be teaching us??"

I started backing away, holding my hands out in front of me pleadingly. This was the last thing I expected.

"I've been seated for a little while…uhh…I'm from…eleventh division? And I'll teach…stuff" I fumbled for answers, and tried to get them to leave me alone. But, apparently I said something that triggered more questions.

"Eleventh division?? Is zaraki-taichou really scary??"

"Wow, eleventh, you must be really strong!!"

Why god...WHY did I feel the need to say eleventh division? Why did it have to be the first thing to pop into my head? Why didn't i say something like, 3rd or 9th division? Because I was an idiot, that's why.

They continued to fire questions at me, and i continued to back away until...I hit a wall and fell. "Owie..." I muttered under my breath. Kiyone cheerfully helped me up and made another announcement.

"Okay guys! You know the drill, meet Shirember at the training grounds in an hour! I'll give her a quick tour and show her where she's supposed to go. Dismissed!" They all nodded and fumbled towards the door. My knees were were, and my legs felt like jello. Why...did this happen? When she asked me if I was teh replacement, I could've said no, could've said I was lost. I could've even asked directions!! But nooo....I had to claim I was an officer from eleventh division, here to replace rukia kuchiki while she was in the real world on a mission. Oh, and not to mention I now had to train 20 other soul reapers (who could probably kill me) when I had no knowledge over my zanpuktoh whatsoever...well this SUCKED.

(TOUSHIRO HITSUGAYA)

I...was going...to kill her. We had searched the entire first division and found nothing. We had searched the entire second division, also nothing. We searched third division and again, nothing. How far could she have gotten? I scowled silently as we sped off towards fourth division (we being me, matsumoto, renji, byakuya, momo, kira, and the two members from first division.) [whose names are ibiki and chomaru. Momo and kira joined up with them in the first division]

Yamamoto was furious when we told him she was gone. If we didn't find her...oh I can just imagine the paperwork. But how was she a shinigami?? She wasn't a shinigami!! She's a human! Gahhh....how does she have a zanpuktoh? This is impossible to figure out. Never in my life have I seen or heard of a human that had a zanpuktoh...

When we arrived at the fourth division, we split up into pairs. I went with momo. We still couldn't find her, and I couldn't sense even a trace of her abnormally high reiatsu. Momo and I barely exchanged a word, she could sense how serious and worried I was about this. How the hell did she break down that door?

(AMBER MATTAYA)

Oh...shit. I was now at the training field. After a quick tour of some of the main buildings in thirteenth division, Kiyone just left me here to wait for the shinigami i was supposed to be training. They came at the same time and line up in rows in front of me. It was a little overwhelming.

I wanted to flee as fast as I could, these guys were weak right? With my apparent flash step, i could outrun them...but this was the best way to keep my cover. Hidden in the midst of a division, just a low seated officer assigned to train a few soul reapers right?

...

"ermm...alrighty then. Now that we're all here..how about...umm...we discuss how rukia kuchiki trained you before she left?" I was pale as a sheet, and had to be very careful not to shake in my shinigami clothes. I was scared, no question.

"She was teaching us Kido! Sword techniques, and was instructing us on how to call our zonpuktohs names!" uhh...yeah. I didn't know how to do any of that. I was so screwed...

"Okay...and um, out of general curiousity, how many times do i train you a week?" The same burly soul reaper who had answered my last question spoke again. "3-4 times a week, depending on duties we are assigned"

Wait...3-4 times a week? What did I do the rest of the time? Wait...on second thought, maybe I don't want to know. Though nothing could be worse than this right?

"Okay...Lets learn some kido, how about...way of destruction number 4?" well...it was the only one i knew, so too bad. A few of the shinigami looked excited, some bored, and some disappointed.

"Only a number four? That's so weak...hardly useful at all!" I raised an eyebrow remembering my previous experience with that particular kido.

"More useful than you think, can you even do it?" The shinigami that spoke up stepped forward with a confident smirk. He tried...and failed. A little blue spark appeared on his finger for a second, before it flickered and died. Thankgod, at least this meant i could teach them something...

"Right...let's start with that then" I pointed at a tree nearby. "Way of Destruction number 4: White Thunder!" A lightning bolt appeared from my finger and sliced that tree right off the trunk...cool.

The soul reapers goggled at me, and a few applauded. Odd...I didn't even know I could do that until a few hours ago.

I showed them how to do it a few times more before telling them to line up, and do it one by one. This was easier than i thought. At first, I thought they would refuse to be taught by me because I'm short, and look really young (well...technically i am, these guys are over a hundred!) but they seemed to admire me in a way. It was a nice feeling actually...

This process continued for about 2 hours, and apparently, they all sucked at kido. Only 3 people had managed to get a decent shot by the end of the session I decided that 2 hours was good, and dismissed them. They thanked me and left, they all looked exhausted, but satisfied. Was I maybe too hard? Oh well, no time to worry about that now...kiyone had appeared and was now running towards me.

"Congratulations Shirember! I spoke to a few people on their way back to their rooms, they loved your training! Ukitake would like to see you now though" I nodded and thinned my lips. Sure, i wasn't nervous, but I had to be on my guard. If Ukitake found out what I was really doing in his division, and my real identity, i'd be caught before I could swear loudly. I followed her back to the office where ukitake was sipping tea at his desk while doing paperwork. When we opened the door, he gestured for me to take a seat infront of his desk adn dismissed kiyone.

"So...Shirember" He had a very serious tone, it unnerved me. I readied myself...for what exactly, I didn't know...Maybe Toushiro was lurking behind a door, ready to attack and kill me...

"I have just heard some very disturbing news" He said grimly, setting down his cup. As a reflex, i grabbed the hilt of my zanpuktoh as he stood up.

"Very disturbing news indeed." He said again. He looked me straight in the eye. I paled and refrained myself from passing out, his glare was intense, i could see why he was a captain.

"I'm afraid.."

I was dead, they caught me.

"That you..."

I couldn't take him on, I got yamamoto and toushiro offguard, they probably told him what I could do, I was done for.

"Have a mission!" he finished brightly. My eyes widened in shock and i released my grasp on koorihono fummetsu to gape at him.

"I...what??!?"

"You have a mission unfortunately. I didn't want to send you away when you just got here, but I'm sure someone of your caliber won't have a problem with it! There have been some disturbing reports of hollows on the outskirts of rukongai division 50. I want you to go exterminate the hollow, that's it! Unfortunately, you have to leave tonight though."

I nearly laughed with relief. A hollow? I had never fought one before, and I was probably ricking my life by going into battle, but this would make it so much easier to escape and get back home! As soon as I left the gates of seireitei, They wouldn't find me! Then from there, I could find a way back to the mortal world! Then, I would never have to involve myself in the soul society business, and instead I could just return to my normal life. I'd never watch bleach again, and instead would watch man or yugioh, or naruto or something! Life was good again!

I stood up and bowed respectfully to Ukitake. "I'm ready as soon as I need to go Captain! I can go right now If you wish it!" He seemed a bit shocked at my readiness but chuckled warmly.

"Very well. Kiyone will accompany you to the gates. Stay safe and be back soon, okay?" I nodded, and as if on que, kiyone came through the door.

"Kiyone, take Shirember to the third gate to rukongai please."

She responded with a dutiful "Yes sir!" and grabbed my arm again to take me to the gates.

She released my arm when we got near the gate. Just as I was close to singing with joy, and dancing through the gate, I froze as I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Damn her...How did she get away? She's not even a soul reaper..."

"It doesn't matter captain, we'll catch her. And besides, soon Yamamoto will make the announcement."

Just then, a loud voice was heard all over seireitei.

"Some form of rogue shinigami is somewhere in rukongai. We need to catch her as soon as possible, we don't know where she is, or the extent of her powers. She has Brown hair and blue eyes, looks young and stands at around 4'11. She carries a zanpuktoh on her back and goes by the name Ember Mattaya. Anyone with information on her is to report to yamamoto-soutaichou immediately. No one is to leave seireitei, or open the gates until she is found and captured."

I suddenly felt kiyone's piercing gaze on the back of my neck. I could feel Matsumoto's and Toushiro's reiatsus practically right beside me. It was then when my breath stopped short and I started sweating. I was so screwed.

A/N: A new chapter!! (nervous laughter) Sorry about the late update! Eheh...*doges heavy objects thrown at head* okay....I swear, I'm sorry!!! And I'm sorry about the short chapter too, i just wanted to get the tenth chapter out of the way so you know I'm still alive!

Anyways, i finally saw a doctor. I won't bother you now with my many medical issues though. As a result, I'll still be updating as much as I can, but sometimes there'll be a week between chapters when I have to see my therapist.(...just don't ask) And, look at this! Chapter 10! Double digits! Wow...this is literally the longest story I've ever written LOL. Anyways, I would like to thank everyone who's read the story, and reviewed, and favourites, and alerted. Wait...one sec....14 REVIEWS ON THE LAST CHAPTER!?!?!?!?!?!? HOLY SHITAMOLE AND CHEESE!!!!

Wow...just...wow....*ehem* THANKYOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!! XD XD You guys make it all worth while!!

Destiny Clyne, crystalstar83, Nacho-chan, frozen ice cream, Panda-chan-san, MillieEllie, anime0angel, Butterfly. Love. Mikomi, demon of my heart and mind, Tamahome, Chibiussa, Vampire Girl for LIFE, HitsugayaDream, Raine20oo (HA i spelt it right this time....sorry about that! ^^)

Amazing, thanks a ton! It really keeps me motivated, I'm trying to put out another chapter tomorrow just because you guys deserve it and i've been slacking off.

Oh! And I nearly forgot, 2 important messages!!

1: The reviews are coming amazingly fast! I cannot thankyou enough, it makes me feel all happy inside when I see that someone reviewed my story!! So...even though it might not be until chapter 15 or something...If you are the hundredth review on this story, i'll write you a oneshot! (think of it as a thankyou for all teh reviews)

2: I wanna start a new story! I know that I just keep increasing my own workload, even though i already have a huge one, but i like to have more than one project going at once! (this does NOT mean i'm leaving this story by any means, it just means i'll do another one at the same time!) I have a poll on my homepage, or if you want you can request me to do a special one! (no promises) or, tell me if you think I should just stick with this story for now!

Wow...longest author's note ever, anyways. Thanks a gazillion for reading! If you review you'll be my bestest friend forever :3

~ember-chan