So, here's the supposed surprise...but I don't think it came off as one.
Tell me why you did it. Who were you? Who are you now?
I breathe her in like air, her face cupped between my palms, her lips soft against mine.
I was hers a moment ago, have been hers for quite a while... now, it's my turn.
I pull back and her eyes flutter open, eyelashes brushing over my cheeks. I kiss them...her forehead, her ear, the corner of her mouth, her lips.
I should be scared—scared of myself, of what she's doing to me. But I can't stop myself even if I wanted to, when all I can think of is her body beneath mine.
Her mouth slowly opens, my tongue licking between her lips. She takes me in, back arching from the bed, fingers weaving up the back of my neck. I push her back, silently begging to be closer than physics will let me. My lips move down, over her neck, her pulse, her shoulder, smelling my perfume mixed with her scent.
Can you feel this? Can you finally see me after all the times that your eyes went blank, staring through me?
My lips leave her body. I hold myself up, watching the way it ripples as she shudders, cold air enveloping her in the absence of my touch. Her lips curl into a warm smile in the dim light and my heart stops, arms almost giving out on me. She arches up to me, slowly capturing my lips.
It's nothing like the first time when my lips bled into her mouth. Somehow all that has been replaced by the softness of her lips—no, this is the first time.
"Tori," I whisper, wanting to feel her name buzz between our lips as my body melds with hers, her warmth matching mine. It builds slowly, her hands stroking along my spine, my hands unclasping her bra, like embers glowing back to life after the burn out, after the ashes have blown away.
Her hands suddenly cover her chest, eyes avoiding me. I take them in mine, kissing her fingers, her palms, her wrists, and she lets them rest on the bed. I look up and take her lips again, fluttering down her chin. My hands caress her sides, letting them inch up her breasts.
Want me—want me the way your body wants me.
I kiss the valley between her breasts, feeling the urge to leave my mark on her just like she did so many times. Her body heaves as my hands, my lips caress them, sucking at the tip of her breast. I hear her moan in the static of the air.
"Jade," she breathes and I can't breathe.
My lips hover over hers to remind me how to breathe again, to feel a piece of her life rush out of her lungs and touch my skin. I can't stop now, not when my chest rises and falls with hers like I'm learning how— like I'm trying to get the rhythm of her heart.
What is your heart telling you?
I pant against her neck, and I can almost hear her heartbeat. I feel her hands stoke my hair and I meet her eyes, soft, even worried. My heart misses a beat and I try to smile—smirk.
My hand moves down, brushing between her legs. Her muscles pulse at my touch, at the butterfly kisses down her throat that vibrates against my lips—they tell me things that only my body understands. Down, down. I pull her panties, putting them aside. I move back to her lips once more, parting her legs slowly.
There, laying flat before me, I see for the first time all of her. Her hand rests above her eyes, breathing turning heavy. My head dips down, lips tasting her, finding the right strings to play.
You make my body sing, resonate with the tune you make under my touch. Can you hear it through my beaten nerves, through the broken notes of each chord?
Between her legs my lips touch and her breath hitches. My heart beats harder, banging at my chest, begging me to stop because it knows of the pain that comes after this desire. The lock around my chest has been torn open and there's nothing left to protect my heart from the minefield I dare tread, foot hovering over a trigger. Let the explosion come.
My lips suck lightly and a moan leaves her throat making my whole body tremble. She pulls me up to her and kisses me softly, my hands grazing her inner thigh. I take in air—her hair smells like wildflowers—trying to silence my heart and the growing ache stemming from it. My hand caresses her bud and she draws me into an embrace, the warmth of her breath brushing against my ear. Another tender kiss and the glowing embers are about to burst into a complete flame. My fingers enter her slowly. The air fills with the soft—almost singing—sound of her voice that forms no words but creeps up into my heart telling me things it shouldn't.
On crumpled sheets, she breaks, panting. I lick my lips seeing her hair tussled, chest still heaving. I let my lips kiss her until her body relaxes. I lay beside her, waiting for her to do or say something. Her eyes flicker at me for a fleeting second.
"I was... bad back then," she breathes out like she's been holding it in for so long. I turn towards her, lying on my side.
"Manipulated people, 'the horrible bitch' and I was barely a freshman," she keeps staring at the ceiling like she's far away. "I almost tried drugs, fooled around with seniors—everyone knew not to mess with me," she finally turns, lying on her side, hands pillowing her head, a chaste smile on her face. "Now you know."
"Why are you telling me all this?" It's not sinking in no matter how hard I try, it's...
"It's stupid, really. I have a great family that loves me," she laughs, ignoring my question. "I may have loose ends that twist here and there, that's why I did things that..." she sighs, "I just did things and apparently now still do," she suddenly eyes me. "I had to stop. I was hurting my family and I had to stop," her teeth clench at the last words.
I open my mouth but nothing comes out. Damn it, Tori.
"You wanted to know what is 'wrong' with me, right?" she smiles, face suddenly soft, tucking away strands of hair from my eyes, fingers brushing my cheeks. "You can say I was a broken toy from the very beginning. Maybe that's why I beheaded and melted Barbies whether they were mine or not," she laughs.
"You already told me that nothing's wrong with you." Nothing's sinking in but I smile, feeling a twisted surge of fascination at the shifting emotions hiding behind her eyes.
She frowns, "We should stop this," her warmth leaving me.
"I don't want to," I say without thinking, voice commanding, tinged with desperation. I always thought I'd be the one to stop this—whatever this is. You're cheating Tori.
"But we have to," she smiles again before getting up.
"Tori," I say and she stops, halfway through her jeans, "what do I taste like?"
She smiles, "Almost like me, like oranges," and it's like she's really smiling.
A.N.: What have I gotten myself into?
That was HARD! You won't believe how long it took me to write this but it was a labour of love (like a mother going into labour for 12 hours because the baby's too lazy to wake up... true story). Seriously, I got to a point of almost quitting on this scene and skipping over. If it weren't for ShinyThingsGirl (I can't thank you enough!) I would've trashed this and continued stalling myself with one-shots.
On another note, I think this is gonna end soon. I still can't get my Jade voice right and it's stressing me out.
Wait, who reads these anyway? Puhpleeease doth noth slaughter meeeh. (see I can act all stupid and no one would even notice)
PS: Whilst on a conquest of editing like crazy, I was playing with a kitten white as snow named Tonton (for cotton) and I can't believe how inappropriate that was...